Had to rewrite all the notes I had for this chapter. Omo. I can't help but feel that it's very messy. So if you feel confused, it might probably be my fault. :X
If you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask. It might help me fix any problems there might be in here.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy reading this. :)
One might say that Shizuru was quite the master of hiding/controlling her emotions. And one could say that she had honed those skills by herself.
But that was only partly true.
Because she didn't learn it completely on her own. Though she thought she did. What she didn't know was that she had unconsciously picked it up from her parents. So while she was exceptional in doing so, her parents were actually better. They had more experience and because of that, Shizuru could not see what they had hidden from her all these years.
But that was also because she had no reason to doubt them – to accuse them of hiding something.
Because she simply did not know.
If given the chance and knowledge, she might have picked up on the simple gestures that might have given them away – but only just barely. As much as she loathed to admit it, she was never any good at reading other people's thoughts or emotions unless made painfully obvious. She could easily sniff a rat or a plot by some obnoxiously devious backstabbers of the business kind but when it came to empathy she always seemed to fail horribly. She wouldn't know someone was upset unless they expressed it or were in tears. If no one gave any indication to it except for the occasional frown or gut feeling, she would never see it.
Being so out of touch of her emotions as she was, it was no wonder. She only knew from what she had experienced before and unfortunately, she never really had a person she could share emotional experiences with.
She had always missed that look in her parent's eyes (or perhaps never acknowledged); that underlying sadness that managed to flit across the millisecond their eyes fell upon her. The way their eyes would lose that slight twinkle whenever they saw her as a child. It got less noticeable as she grew and by the time she was an adult leaving home for the first time, it was already gone. But when she had brought up Kaya, it might have come back again.
Before, she couldn't even be sure it was there. But now, it seemed that it could be something. And (to her relief) it wasn't just her being paranoid. She might not be 100% sure she was not imagining it but there might be some truth to her suspicions.
Because now, she might have a reason as to why they could be acting that way.
That day, it had started off like any other day. Shizuru would wake up to the soothing voice of her dear sister, her hands stroking her unruly mane. If her parents ever did wonder why her hair always looked so immaculate even after having just gotten out of bed was because her sister always had a habit of brushing it with her fingers be it when Shizuru was asleep or when she was concentrating hard on something without the help of her sister (basically when she was bored). Why she had such fascination to hair that was similar to hers, Shizuru would never know.
A quick trip to the bathroom would then lead them down the stairs and straight to the dining room for morning breakfast, their parents already there in their seats, side-by-side at the table facing the door they would come through. Mother Fujino is always the first to greet them, her radiant smile welcoming them into the room before she disappears into the kitchen. Father Fujino would then peek from above his newspaper, his deep masculine voice tickling their ears with a joyful, 'good morning my little ladies'. Replying in turn, they would then take their places opposite; Shizuru helped into hers by her dear sister as their mother places the spread before them.
With food in their bellies and dishes put away, the family would then retire to the living room, conversations done over a cup of tea. They usually talked about various things, especially on what would happen for the day and whether it constitutes something other than work. The topic that stood out the most on that particular day was the announcement (though actually a reminder to the rather forgetful sisters) that they (the whole family) would be going to a formal luncheon that was being held by one of their parent's business associates.
As always, frowns were exchanged between the younger two, their plans for the day (usually entailing some sort of mischief on Shizuru's part when they thought their parents were going to be too busy working) ruined by this unexpected obstacle in their path; one they found to be usually boring with them being far away from the comforts of home, unable to do as they please without feeling the eyes of disdain from the more stickler of the crowd of adults sure to be present there, having to pretend in front of them to avoid such things and the disgrace that might be directed to their parents for having 'unruly' kids. They were a bunch of stick-in-the-muds as far as Shizuru was concern and she tried her best to ignore them as much as her manners allowed her to.
When they hear the groan coming from their youngest daughter, Takashi and Aria would share a look with each other, Takashi gesturing his head as Aria sighs in return, rolling her eyes as he gives her a goofy smile. Shaking her head lightly, she gets up from the couch and excuses herself from the room, promising a swift return. Shizuru and her elder sister do not notice the exchange as they rethink their plans to fit their current schedule, having gone through enough parties to know the drill on what the day would entail and what they could do to make it better.
Mother Fujino comes back and her entrance would steal the attention of the little girls in the room, Shizuru squealing in delight as soon as she sees what she is holding with her hands, jumping from the couch and running towards her. Her older sister watches her from the couch, sighing as she catches sight of the dresses. A sneaking suspicion crosses her that their father is the one who bought them. Seeming less enthusiastic than her little sister, she stays on the couch even as Shizuru takes one from their mother's grasp and twirls around in glee, their father clapping along in good humour. Then when asked if she needed help putting it on, Shizuru would deny saucily, claiming to be at an age when she should know how to do it independently- or at the very least try to. Chuckling, their parents are impressed though slightly disappointed at a lost opportunity to coddle their littlest one.
Back in the room, Shizuru attempts to put the dress on herself, her little fingers getting caught between the fabric. Clearly, she had underestimated the task (or overestimated herself) because by the fifth grunt she expels, a wail of frustration leaves her; a plea for help to her already fully dressed sister who couldn't help but give her that look she always had that conveyed amusement at her self-imposed predicament and also made her feel like she was saying with a good-natured sigh, 'this little sister of mine, what shall I do with her?'. Helping her out of the tangled mess, she smoothens and straightens the dress of creases before going to vanity table to grab a brush.
Putting herself to the task of brushing soft curls that had fell out of place on her little sister's hair, she tries to assuage the tight pout twisted onto the girl's mouth with soft whispers. Shizuru protests but hardly voices actual words, knowing she stood no chance in an argument but still determined to remain sour. After awhile, her crossed arms would loosen their hold as she slowly loses the battle. Unable to stay angry, she narrows her eyes, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth as her sister's face greets her, rubies matching her own.
She throws her hands up in exasperation, giving up when eyebrows are raised up with an earnest expression. Roughly grabbing the brush away from her, Shizuru insists that in compensation she lets her do her hair but in her rush and excitement pushes the handle down a little too harshly as she combs. Too much concentrated on her task, she misses the minute wince as bristles graze a little too hard against skin. A hand reaches out and touches hers in an effort to calm her, praise leaving the elder's lips to encourage her further in the task.
Couple of minutes later, Shizuru leads the both of them to their parent's room to see their mother. Kisses are planted on both their foreheads as she fusses over them, giving appraisal to the dresses they wore. As she goes to ask on how Shizuru fared in putting it on, a subtle shake of the head from her eldest stops the sentence from being completed; a passing comment on a well done hair brushing diverting the youngest attention away from it. Patting her hair at the proud expression on the baby of the family, Aria has a happy expression glued on when her eyes meet that of her husband's through the mirror before her, her hands continuing their earlier task of putting on the diamond earrings. The eyes watching her convey his rather bubbly mood without a single word as he nods towards his watch, mouthing the number of minutes he expects them downstairs.
A short drive leaves them on the front porch of a fairly large house, the door held open for them by a friendly butler who sends them through the house and into the backyard where the party was being held. With a polite greeting to the hosts for the day, Shizuru and her sister quickly find themselves in the company of the other children they had already met quite a few times before from several other parties. Pretty soon it would be decided that a game of hide and seek would be the best to spend the day with, the group of them playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who was 'it' (the one who has to search for the hidden participants). Both managing to win, an eager Shizuru drags the both of them away as soon the loser drawls out the first number out of thirty, careful to not run too hard for fear her sister might lose her breath. She pushes past ixora shrubs, pulling her sister down with her to squat behind them, giggling quietly as she eyes the leaf stuck in the older girl's no longer immaculate hair.
One skillfully done hard stare is enough to shut her up and the silence gives way to the sound of shouting coming from a distance that made it incorrigible to their ears. They do recognize the voice however, and it made them huddle even closer for fear of being caught even though it sounded quite far from where they were. Time passes and still they hear no other sound after the first, Shizuru getting bored with each passing second after the first five minutes.
Keeping her hands busy, she absentmindedly picks at the tiny little flowers and pulls them together to see how many she could attach together before they would break off. With pride, she manages to attach the very last flower she allowed herself to take without feeling guilty to the very first one, forming a long necklace which she throws around her sister's neck, eliciting a smile and a kiss to her cheek. She couldn't have been more happy and filled with pride at that moment, watching her dear sister admire her gift.
Suddenly, the older of the two straightens, her eyes as big as saucers. Shizuru puts her arm onto her elbow with worry, watching as the girl slowly relaxes in her hold as she asks what was wrong, her voice in barely a whisper. Her sister shakes her head, dismissing her question with closed eyes and an 'It's nothing'. Unconvinced, Shizuru pouts but it quickly disappears as she suddenly finds herself quickly pulled to her feet, her elder sister's countenance spreading with distress.
"We have to get out of here!"
The words she whispers are expelled harshly, her feet moving much too fast for her body to be comfortable with, the edges of pain starting to throb within her. Even through the sudden panic and rush, Shizuru would notice her sister's rather terribly erratic breathing, worry wracking at her tiny little body as she finds her mouth frozen at the sight.
She could see the fear in her eyes.
Shizuru hadn't realized they had gone so far away from where the actual party was until now- when they seem to be taking forever to get back. As her sister's breathing gradually became harsher and harsher, she is struck by how scared her sibling really was; pushing her body so hard to get away from whatever it was.
But a mere moment of distraction is enough to send her tumbling to the ground, halting her sister's movement as she does. The pain in her knees pulls tears at the edges of her eyes and it takes awhile for her to find the strength to get herself back up on her feet despite the help she got.
This slight delay is one of the things she would blame herself for what was to happen moments later.
If she concentrated hard enough, concentrated to hear what was around them, she would have heard the heavy footsteps approaching them, the rustling of leaves as it came closer. But she had only notice it when it was already too late. And when the older of the two Fujino siblings turn instinctively at the sound of a voice, a shiver would run up her spine. Her face would harden, jaw clenched with hostility while the Shizuru would look apprehensive at her, too afraid to turn and see who it was. She would soon hear herself scream as she is pushed away violently and when she looks up from her spot, Shizuru would see a stranger standing next to her sister. Before she can even scream a second time, she is hit with such a force that her vision blurs and the world turns black as she loses consciousness.
What happens next is only known between the only conscious girl of the two and the two men that appeared before them.
"You only need one! Take me; I am enough for you to get what you want!"
The girl would sacrifice herself for her younger sister, thinking it would be okay for her to be gone. She knew she didn't have long to live; she had overheard her parents talking one night when they thought the both of them were sleeping upstairs. Her body was telling her something anyway so it was only a matter of time before she found out so although the news had saddened her for awhile, it was not enough to make her despondent.
Her heart would fail at any given time.
If it was going to be that way, she would have no regrets for doing this. Better her than her sweet little sister. Her precious little Shizuru. No one knew how big the affinity she felt for her own sister was. The moment she had heard her in her mother's womb, the bond between them was already there, growing the more she spent time with her.
And if she could, she would use every single cell of her body to protect her from any harm.
The two men were there to kidnap any wealthy family's child, intending to get rich from ransom money. The Fujino sisters had caught their eyes almost immediately, the area where they found them so perfect that they praised their good fortune. The girl being so willing to go with them in exchange for them to leave her sister was also something to thank their luck for. For it was going to be much easier for them to handle a willing captive than a noisy, potentially annoying unwilling one; their tempers were easy to flare, the now unconscious girl an example of it. Sure, they could just take an unconscious girl with them but it would make escaping so much harder with having to carry the girl and all. And if someone spotted them? Very hard to explain. It didn't take long nor much effort to reach the car. It was starting to look like it was a very lucky day for the men.
Only, it didn't end well for them.
Even though the girl was willing and posed no threat to their plans, they still thought it wise to put her in the trunk because in their heads, just one look at the girl from anyone (especially authorities) and the gig would be up. Anyone could easily see that the girl didn't belong in that car and any suspicions could foil their plans so very easily. They knew the cops were smart. Put two and two together and then before they could even get their ransom money, they would come with guns blazing in their little hideout and all would be for naught.
Their drive to said hideout had been smooth for quite awhile before it all ended horribly as they took a wrong turn and crashed. The impact had left them bloodied and within seconds they had succumbed to their injuries; the wounds made so much worse by the fact that in their excitement they had forgotten to fasten their safety belts.
The crash left an opening in the trunk and by sheer will alone, the girl had crawled out far enough that when the car had burst into the flames, she was already a safe distance away. She would be later taken to a hospital by an ambulance called by a passerby just in the nick of time. It would take weeks for her body to recover but unfortunately, her memory had been lost.
Had the passerby been there earlier, she would have seen the girl crawling out of the trunk. But she hadn't and it was the loss of this witness that the fact that girl was not reunited with her real family became a reality. Because she did not see, they did not know this case had anything to do with a kidnapping and as a result of that, a fatal assumption had been made in the investigation of the crash.
One that left the girl to be thought an orphan.
The two bodies in the car were burnt beyond recognition and it had been assumed that these two people who had died were this girl's parents. Coupled with the fact she could not remember a single thing, it was proving difficult to find out whom this girl was and if she had any relatives.
As time passed and the girl's injuries became better and better, the doctor who attended to her would feel something for her. He would grow affection for her, having not been able to have a child of his own. His wife would feel the same when she came to visit husband at the hospital, taking a special liking to the poor little girl as she took it upon herself to take care of her after hearing the tragic news.
So when she left that hospital, it was as the newly adopted daughter of the doctor and his wife did she leave it as.
Although some people- usually strangers- would assume that they were twins, Shizuru and her sister were actually two years apart. Her elder sister's sickly constitution often made it hard for them to distinguish the age difference by size (Shizuru already catching up pretty quickly at only the age of three) but it was still pretty clear who would be the older one of the two; the mother hen attitude her sister seemed to have towards her was not lost on them.
Her sister always took her role as the older sister very seriously.
They were two years apart but sometimes it felt even further. Sometimes it would seem like her sister was in a very far off place; one so very hard to catch up to. Her older sister was almost just as small she is- people still treated her like a kid just as they did with Shizuru- yet the gap felt so wide. They were only two years apart but sometimes it felt like she could never hope to understand what she was thinking.
She still couldn't understand why she had done what she did.
She had push her away at that time.
But when she woke up and found herself in the hospital, her parents at her bedside, bawling that they were glad she was safe and alive, she thought to herself that maybe this was what her sister had thought of. To make sure she was safe and alive. But why wouldn't she be? What had been that danger before that her sister knew and she didn't? What had caused her to be in the hospital?
"Your sister…she's gone."
They were crying so, so hard and she never thought she would see any adult doing something like this. She certainly had never seen them shed a tear before and frankly, it scared her so much. But the words they uttered were so unbelievable. So unthinkable. And she found that it only made sense that they would miss her so much to be to the point of tears. She certainly felt like doing just that but something she suddenly remembered kept her from doing so and the words that would come out of her as a result of that would shock the entire room into silence.
"Sister? What are you talking about papa? Why am I here? Why are you crying?"
The next few months she saw (in secret) her parents struggle through the days, worriedly waiting by the phone, hurriedly answering calls, her mother so worn down to tears she barely saw her without them, her father with the pain etched across his features, his proud gallant face shattered into a barely held together semblance of his former self. And as the more days passed, the lesser the calls that came, the more pain she saw consuming them, the more she saw of the maids and butlers rather than that of her parents.
She hadn't been sure of the choice she had made. That choice she made on that hospital bed looking into their faces which were so worry stricken as they delivered the news to her of her elder sister's disappearance. Something her sister had foreseen that morning and told her to promise to do.
"Ruru, listen to me. If I'm not there when you wake up tomorrow, you have to promise me that when you see papa and mama, you will pretend that you don't remember me. You also have to try your best to forget about me, okay? I know it's going to be hard but you have to promise me."
It was only because she trusted her sister so much and that she had promised did she keep to it. The fact that it would not help matters more if they worried about her as well for having lost a sister they knew she loved deeply, strengthening her resolve in staying silent about it.
Then one day, as if from thin air, everything just disappeared. Her parents were no longer waiting by the phone. They seemed normal, not even worrying and crying in secret like they did before. The next thing she knew, they moved far away. All the stuff in the house was new and did not resemble a single bit like their old house. It took a long time before Shizuru could get used to it.
Without Shizuru realizing it, her memory too was changing. The lie she kept telling her parents and to herself because of her promise and choice ate its way to a point where she couldn't tell the truth from the lie and not too soon after, the lie became a truth in her mind.
The lie that she never knew Fujino Shizuka ever existed.
A lie told often enough becomes the truth – Vladimir Lenon