Part 21.

"Joking" Spoke the voice again, I looked around the room still white and empty. I blinked rapidly for a few seconds until tall figures started appearing, There was 5 and 3 sitting down.
"Hey" I said weakly, trying to smile.
My body didn't feel like it belonged to me, I felt different, My head aches, my body wasn't here, I felt almost invisible.

"What happened me?" I questioned perking up slightly.
"You fell and hit you head" Spoke Nicky quickly, "Why did I fall?" I asked quietly, Not sure what ever happened, "Just tell her" Spoke Harry, All their figures complete and visible.
"You have a blood clot in your brain" She said.
I froze, unsure what to say, "Its blocking your movement nerves" She said, "So the ones that message my brain to tell me to move and stuff" I said quietly, my eyes fixed on Liam.
He nodded his head.

I shut my eyes and thought for a moment, I tried lifting up my arm, I couldn't do anything. My arms and legs felt de-attached to me, "Is there any way I can fix it?" I asked
Louis and Zayn shook their heads; IT was funny how close I had grown to these 5 boys in a matter of weeks, maybe months.
I shot my eyes over to the door noticing it pushing down, "Hello" He spoke loudly, HE was the doctor, I assumed, He was wearing a long white trench coat and dark trousers.
"Well, There is one operation that can fix your head" He said, "Go on" I sad quickly, Interested.
"It's a major and dangerous operation, We cut out a sliver of your skull and take out the clot, This has been done 200 accounted times before but 198 of them people died 3 weeks later" He said, I nodded my head quickly. The burning sensation getting worse. "I'll do it" I said, If I was going to die from this thing, I might as well die sooner than later. "If I'm dying from it, I'd rather die sooner than later" I said quickly, repeating what I had thought. "Well, you'd be dead in 3 years at most" He said, I shut my eyes again, the biggest decision of my life was right in front of me. Do it or don't.
"Let me think about it" I said quietly, The doctor quickly nodded his head and turned his feet and walked out, I noticed Aaron in the corner alone. I turned my head quickly to gaze over at him, the only movement I had was my head, mouth and eyes.
"I don't want you to die" He said through loud sobs, "I won't" I said trying to sooth him.

The doctor walked in after a while and announced that If I was going to have the operation I could have it now. "I'll take it" I spoke quickly.
The room broke out in noise I just ignored it as best I could, "I don't care" I shouted, Wishing I could use my hands to block my ears.
That doctor walked out and I shut my eyes, Ignoring them talking saying I was making a mistake.
A different doctor walked in and led me to the operating theatre.
Pulling the back of the bed he pushed me along.

I was lead into a small room, Filled with medicine either side, The lady there stuck on sticky heart and pulse monitors onto my chest and neck, I felt a slight pinch and shut my eyes, Everything went blank.

-

I woke up with the guys gathered around me "Hey "I said weakly, Smiling at them, "Hey" They all chorused back at me, I tried to lift my arm,
I didn't move.
A frown instantly fell on my face, removing the smile. I shut my eyes and bit my lip, letting out a small whine, "Don't worry" Said Nicky comforting me, "Its just that" She paused and turned her attention towards the door.
A tall doctor with blonde hair walked in, "Well" He spoke loudly, "It was a success, but your muscles need rest, they won't move for another few days" He said,
A gush of relievement came over me.
"Thank You" I spoke quietly, my voice croaked.

After everyone left I was finally alone, I let my thoughts wander around my head. Trying to get rid of the bad ones.
I shifted my head over to face the clock, It was half 10 already.
After the past few days I never wanted to go to an All-Ireland ceremony again, ever.

I shut my eyes and fell asleep, I couldn't believe that I was knocked out and had a hole in my skull within a matter of hours.
It just didn't feel right.

I woke up the next morning to the sun fighting to burst through the curtains, I tried lifting my arm but it still didn't move.
A small blonde haired tanned nurse walked in holding a slice of toast and a glass of Apple Juice in her hands, "Breakfast" She spoke, her voice was high and chirpy.
"Can you move your arms?" She asked me.
"Nope" I replied.

"Open your mouth then" She said smiling, I looked at her like she was mad, "No thanks, I'm not actually hungry" I replied. "Okay, If you are just shout, I'll be here all day" She said.

With a mighty effort, all my force and thoughts I tried lifting my arm, It went up a couple of centimeters but fell back down quickly, I threw my head back into the pillow and shut my eyes, just hoping this was all a dream, hoping I could wake up and say 'Thank god, It was just a nightmare' hoping that I was in my own bed and comfortable house, But it wasn't, this wasn't a dream, this was Real.

After a while I tried again to lift my arm, this time I succeeded, I managed to grab my toast and pull my arm over to my mouth and take a bit of it. I daren't try a drink, just in case I spilled it.
My life was proper shit.

_

At half 3 everyone arrived again, I had full movement in my arm now but not my feet, I was told since they were furthest away from my brain that It would take longer to connect back, which strangely I understood.

"When are you getting out?" Asked Zayn quickly, I knew his birthday was coming up and all I knew was that I was invited to it, "They said by the end of March or earlier" I replied.

Then nurse walked in and asked to speak to Nicky and I privately, Everyone bundled up and walked out, "Well" she said slowly.

We spoke with her for a few moments about what was happening to me and that there was one major problem.

*two weeks later*

I woke up early and looked outside the hospital window. Looking down at the small colourful cars and ambulances. "You're leaving today" said Emily. Emily was a nurse with short brown hair and neat square style glasses covering her light blue eyes, In her early twenties. "I'll miss you" I joked. Its felt like I've known Emily for years I could trust her with my life. In a hospital you have to trust people with your life.
Nicky walked in all smiley and cheerful "What's up her arse" I muttered to Emily. She covered her mouth holding in a small giggle "Stop" she replied nudging me in the gut
"Dyeing, Falling" I spoke weakly, Falling to my knees "Dead" I said tapping my head off the ground. I shut my eyes and heard laughter, "Get up or you'll really will be dead" started Nicky but was cut off by Emily' laughing. I stood up slowly and looked at Nicky. Challenging her.

*****
"Arm wrestle" I shouted looking over to Aaron who was sat on the chair opposite me. "Yeaaaah" He cheered smiling.
We locked arms resting out elbows on the coffee table. I pushed my arm away, Aaron fought back and of course as a amazing sister would do I let him win. He jumped up and tapped me on the head; I dropped it and faked to be dead. He gasped then burst out in loud laughter "Stop Fawking" He said trying to calm himself down.
I looked at him "Shush, we'll scare Nicky, You go out and say something happened me and I'll fake dead" I said giggling, It felt so good to be home, To see Aaron happy and jumping around the place, He was so quiet when I was in hospital. I dropped my head, my nose touching my chest, holding my breath I head Nicky laugh "Did you kill her?" She asked looking at him wide eyed, Aaron shook his head innocently "Are you sure?" She questioned. Nicky walked out, "You ruined it!" He shouted jumping onto my lap. "I did not" I shouted back offended. "Where's Jayme?" I asked suddenly "Pawrty" He replied. "Let's have a better -" I started I looked at Aaron, His eyes glued on the door way. I looked over to the door, standing there in a black suit, a white shirt and red toe was Liam, "Fail" I shouted loudly laughing "Aren't you coming?" He asked, "Where?" I questioned looking at him; Zayn's birthday wasn't on for another week. "Senior Night, The 5th and 6th year thing" he said. I dropped my head back and looked at Aaron, He frowned "Nah, I'm going to stay with Aaron, Ask Nikita to go" i said smiling cheekily at him. He walked towards me and sat down beside me, "Shut up" he warned, holding in a broad grin.
"Meeh" I said laughing. I knew Liam liked Nikita, But things like that shouldn't get me annoyed. I'll just kill him if he gets out of hand. "Come to
mine. I'll change and we'll come back here" He said. I looked at him and to Aaron "I'm going to
Liam's house for a while, we'll be back though" In said smiling at him Aaron nodded his head and planted a sloppy kiss on my cheek. "Can I come?" He asked suddenly "We'll be back in a few minutes, you stay, Just in case" I said smiling at him. He frowned slightly but got over it quickly "I'll bring some sweets" Said Liam smiling at him, He smiled flashing his small white teeth.
I stood up and walked out of the front room, "I'm going to Liam's, We'll be back in a while" I shouted into Nicky "Kay" She replied. I opened the front door and was greeted by a loud gust of wind; I shivered "Cold" I spoke through shivers. The wind brushing against the hairless part on my head.
I hated having a 'bald spot' i knee how badly people treated Danni when she had her head done when she had cancer, The Chemo therapy made her loose her hair, But after a year, It was all pointless, She died and everyone gave her a hard time because she didn't have hair, Danni was my first friend, She introduced me to Megan and Laura.

**
We arrived at Liam's house, It was empty. His parents always seemed to be away and working, It made me question did he really have parents. He headed up stairs pulling me by my arm, The soft green carpet was clean. It looked like it was just hovered.
I walked up battling to get free from his grasp "Want to let go of me now?" I asked looking at him seriously in the eye. He tightened his grasp on my arm and I moaned "Stop" I said raising my voice. He let go of my arm and I swung it whacking him in the side "Ouch" he said looking at me offended.
I flashed a cheeky grin before racing up the last steps and locking myself in his room, I sat down in front of the door, Blocking him from getting in "Let me in" He said angrily "Nope" I shouted back laughing. I sat there looking around the room, Liam's room has changed so much since I was last in it, The walls were bare, The guitar was tucked away under his bed, It was almost like he wanted nothing to do with Music anymore. "Why did you stop?" I asked looking around the room, "Stop what?" He replied sounding confused "Music" I said quietly "Stop playing singing and stuff" I heard a bang "Let me in and I'll tell you" He said. I stood up slowly and took a step away from. The door, letting him in. Liam walked in and a smile appeared on his face "I didn't" He said. I pushed my lips tightly together and laughed. I reached up and locked my lips into his "I love you Payne" I said pulling back. "I do too" He replied. I stood back "You're so selfish" I said laughing "What, No" he said. "I'm joking you eejit" I said laughing at him
I walked towards him again and locked lips, His hand exploring my body.
He pulled his hands away from my waist and slipped his blazer off; I tugged at his tie, pulling it off.
He quickly un-buttoned his shirt and revealed a muscle filled chest. I pressed my hands up against his warm chest, pushing my head back as he sucked on my neck. I un-zipped my hoodie and tugged it off, He grabbed my top and lifted it up, pulling back from my neck for a slight that slight second. Locking our lips back together I smiled through it, He grabbed my cheeks and caressed them softly. I heard the click of his belt, not realising what I was doing, I pulled his trousers down as he stepped out of them. He tugged at my tracksuit bottoms, trying to get them off. I put my hands behind my back and pulled out the elastic that held them up, Imditially sliding down my tanned legs, He lifted his whole body up and relaxed it again. Taking a step forward, pushing me towards the bed. I took a small step back stumbling over my own feet. He pulled back away from me and let out a chucked, I grabbed his arm and squeezed it, I raised my eyebrows at him, Challenge in my eyes.
He locked his hands around my waist and lifted me up, Taking small steps walking towards the bed.
He dropped me down, Laying on top of my. He drove his hands around my back, Un-hooking my bra. I felt my addrelion rushing around my body. He slipped his boxers down off him doing the same with my underwear. He lowered his body onto mine, supporting himself with his arms either side of my shoulders.
Locking lips once again I let out a loud groan, "Is it sore?"
I shook my head, smiling.

_

As my head hit the pillow I thought about how to tell him I was dying.
"Liam," I started "Mmh?" he replied, "I'm dying" I said slowly, only letting it all sink in now.