Cat opened her eyes again and locked them onto Baal. Having no clue as to the significance of her action, Baal opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by one of his Jaffa running up to him.
"Lord Baal, an unknown object has just appeared in the system!" the Jaffa called out.
Cat smiled and said, "That'd be the ship I just brought. Here, let me make a display so you can see what they are looking at." With that she waved at a nearby wall, which seemed to suddenly develop a video display covering most of it's surface.
On the display was a Ha'tak mothership, one of those owned by one of the other System Lords at the conference, slightly obscuring a huge white vaguely triangular shaped spacecraft, with some out of focus mottled grey object in the background.
Baal looked at the alien ship, taking in it's relative size based on the Ha'tak in the foreground and determined it was roughly the same size as the new super-Ha'tak they were in at the moment. "That is an impressive vessel, I agree. But again, it is just one ship. What could a single ship do that would effect the hundreds of independent Goa'ulds?"
Cat shook her head sadly, "That's not the ship. That's just one of it's tenders." She said, then pointed back at the screen, which was now zooming out.
The Ha'tak and the white vessel continued to shrink, becoming little more than motes on the screen as the image backed out, until finally a large planetoid could be seen in the background, it's slow rotation revealing huge embedded dish on one side.
Cat spoke again, "That's the ship."
Baal blinked, trying to scale that monster against anything he had ever heard of, and failing. It was literally the size of a large planetoid, or even a moon. But even so, other than carrying an unimaginably large invasion or attack force, he couldn't see what use such a large ship could be other than as an enormous target. "I agree, that is quite a ship. But still?"
Cat quirked an eyebrow, then waved at the screen again, calling out, "Lord Vader!" Suddenly the display changed, showing a black clad figure apparently made out of metal. It turned towards the screen.
The figure bowed slightly, and a deep, metallic voice issued from the screen, "Yes, mistress?"
Cat pointed behind her out the actual window of the cruiser, at the barren planetoid around which they were currently orbiting, and said, "Destroy me that moon."
The figure bowed again, and said simply, "Yes Mistress.", before turning away from the screen.
The screen changed to a long-shot which included the super-Ha'tak mothership they were currently in, as well as the moon sized spacecraft, it's relatively small white tenders, the various other Ha'tak's in the immediate area, the Asgard cruiser, the moon below them, and the large gas giant they were all orbiting.
On the screen the huge space ship could be seen rotating to bring it's dish into alignment with the moon visible outside the window.
Orders could be heard shouted off-camera from the screen in which the back of the metallic figure was still visible as he directed his crew.
Suddenly, energy pulsed through the dish on the moon-sized spacecraft, and a beam fully as wide as the Ha'tak itself flashed through space just outside the window on its way to the planetoid below. Which promptly exploded, debris splashing outwards in a shower of fire and rock, the gas giant's surface suddenly visible in the space previously occupied by the moon's surface as the glare of the explosion faded. The gravity wave caused by the explosion caused the Ha'tak to shudder, as Cat closed her eyes again, concentrating on something, and the debris from the moon which were beginning to impact on the ship's shields with increasingly violent force suddenly rippled like a mirage, and vanished, leaving empty space behind.
Xander leaned over and whispered something into Cat's ear as she opened her eyes again, a glimmer of mischief visible in his eyes as he did so.
Baal looked awestruck at the now moonless scene visible through the window before turning his attention to the screen and asking the figure there "Wha, who are you?"
Xander stood back up and Cat's expression looked confused but indulgent as she turned her attention back to the screen, where the metallic figure suddenly jerked and said "This is CNN.", before the display cut off.
In the long shot display, now taking up the whole screen, the huge planetoid and its support ships rippled, much like the exploding moon had moments before, an then it too was gone.
Cat turned back to Baal and said, "That is what one ship can do. Now how many ships do you think I should send to deal with your brethren, or can you manage to reign them in yourself? I have to warn you, the next time won't be a warning shot, and not a single one of your species will remain by the time they are done, this you can be sure of."
Baal shuddered and raised his hands, "Uh, no. That's quite all right, no need to send more of CNN here. We'll talk to them, er, make sure they know what could happen, and that they know to leave Earth alone."
Cat nodded, then raised her hand, a portal opening in the middle of the air just before herself. "Mark my words, worms. No longer shall you pretend to be gods, least you anger the true gods, for we are not a forgiving people. I am Cat, and I have spoken."
Cat then reached out a hand to Xander, who took it and together they stepped through the portal, which suddenly vanished behind them, leaving only the crushed dead rat, the sliced dead Goa'uld, the body of his former host, and a missing moon behind to mark the fact that they had ever been there.
The Goa'uld System Lords looked at one another, even as their Jaffa did the same. Things had changed, and none of them knew how.
Samantha Carter was apoplectic as the residue of the moon simply vanished, the orbits of all the objects in the system shifting slightly as a result of the sudden removal of its gravity well. "You can't do that.", she said yet again.
Daniel Jackson looked at her and asked, "CNN?"
Sam just continued to shake her head, "You can't do that. That was a movie. This is reality. Movie characters don't just appear, and exploding moons don't just disappear."
Daniel realized it was going to be a long trip back to the SGC.
Xander and Cat emerged from the portal on the road in front of the gate leading into the base which housed Cheyenne Mountain. Xander looked at Cat and finally asked, "The death star?"
Cat shrugged, "I remembered the movie. Since I wanted to impress them, I thought it was a good idea. It was just an illusion, after all. Granted, it was a BIG illusion, but still, it wasn't real or anything. Even I don't have that kind of power, I mean my brother and I are stronger in many things than our Mom, probably because Janus is an Elder God, now that I think about it, but even he couldn't create something as big as the Death Star."
"Then what did you do?" he asked.
Cat shrugged, "I did a few things. Part of it was the new trick YOU showed me. I made an illusion of the Death Star, and made it almost real, like your disappearing clothes. Then, I pushed the real moon all at once, and that was the hard part, so it wasn't really real anymore, but was only almost real, again like your clothes or more specifically the Death Star."
"Ok, so you made the moon an illusion. How can you do that but you can't make a Death Star?"
Cat shrugged, "It's easier to undo something than to do it. To break than to make. And I was dealing with the moon as a single object, so conceptually it was no different than a shirt or a pair of pants, those are made up of many little parts, but I never pay attention to them, just the object they are a part of. I wasn't sure I could do it, but once it worked, I knew the rest would as well."
Xander was still confused, "What about the debris from the explosion? I felt the ship shudder as the gravity wave hit, how could the moon have gravity if it wasn't still real?"
Cat's expression was a bit unsure as she said, "It had gravity still because it was almost real, like your clothes were. They had texture, and moved when you touched them, right?"
Xander nodded, "Aside from that little twist, they seemed normal to me in every way. So, to get this straight, you made a fake Death Star, then untwisted the moon so it was fake as well. What would have happened if you had put that twist onto the Death Star?"
Cat thought about it for a bit then said, "I don't think I could have. But if I could, I guess it would have been really real, instead of just an illusion somehow. I'll have to try that sometime."
Xander shook his head, "Not with the Death Star. Try it with something nice, like a puppy dog or something."
Cat grinned and slapped him softly, "I can manifest a puppy dog the normal way, that wouldn't prove anything. Anyhow, after I blew up the moon, when it was going to hit the ships, I just dispelled the illusion, which was all the moon was at that point, again, as a whole even though it was blown up, it was still the moon, so it worked, which is good because even though it wasn't really real, it was real enough it would have smashed every ship there with the debris, despite their shields. Then I dispelled the illusion of the Death Star, and we came here. Why did you want Darth Vader to say 'This is CNN'?"
Xander laughed, "It was either that, or 'Simba, you have forgotten me.', from the Lion King.
Cat looked confused, then said, "Oh, the movie. Same voice. I get it."
Xander grinned and looked at the guard shack in front of them. "So, why are we here? Are we going to tell the General that earth is safe and then take off for Vegas, or what?"
Cat shrugged, "Well, we were kind of interrupted by the worms, and I sort of owe him for accidentally letting those two people get in. I know he said he didn't need our help, but still."
Xander nodded. "Ok. Plus, I'd like to talk to the Dr. about those pion things she saw in my blood."
Cat nodded, and took his hand as they made their way up to the guard, who they asked to call the mountain for them and tell them they were here.
The pilot blinked as the spacecraft suddenly reappeared out his window, hanging in space as though nothing had happened.
"Uh, Red Leader?" he asked, hesitantly.
"Go ahead, Red Five.", the voice came back.
"Um, it looks like it's back. They must be testing some sort of cloaking device or something. We have to take this thing out now. I'm resuming my attack run. Wish me luck."
"Good luck kid.", the voice came back.
On the bridge of the Death Star, the captain looked at Lord Vader and swallowed. He had been fighting the urge, but couldn't help himself any longer. "Lord Vader, if you don't mind my asking."
Vader turned and gazed at him passively. Eventually he asked, "What is it Captain?"
"Um, what is CNN?" the captain asked.
The guard looked up as the two civilians approached his position.
His eyes swiftly took in their casual dress, the odd lack of a vehicle, and the sword the young man was wearing on his back, which he admired briefly for how it matched with his jacket, but promptly dismissed as unimportant. "Can I help you?" he asked, sliding his window open to address them. People didn't often walk up to the front gate of the Cheyenne Mountain complex.
The girl spoke first, "Yes. Could you please contact General Hammond and let him know Cat and Xander are back, and were wondering if he would like to see us before we headed to as Las Vegas to resume our honeymoon."
The soldier recognized the name, but was also aware that the General and his people were involved in a highly classified project, one which he himself was not cleared for, and which he was pretty sure was not public knowledge. Therefore he decided that he really shouldn't acknowledge the General's presence. "I'm not familiar with a General Hammond, but if you want I'll call into the mountain and see if anyone knows him."
The guy grinned and said, "Sure. But if someone tells you there is no General Hammond, be sure to get their name, because the general may be quite cross later on if he learns he doesn't exist, and want to talk to them about it."
The airman took the hint, and called in to the Officer of the Day.
It was less than fifteen minutes later that a frustrated looking Jack O'Neill made his way to the front gate, slightly out of breath, apparently having run a good portion of the way.
Clutched in his hand were two photo ID badges, bearing Cat's and Xander's faces, but only their first names.
"What are you two doing back so soon?" he asked, as he handed them the badges and instructed the airman to let them through the gate, and not to ask for signatures, or make any record other than the note '2 VIPs SGC, Gen GH Col JO Ok' in the entry log.
As they walked away from the gate and made their way towards the tunnel entrance to the mountain, Xander said, "We went and talked to the Goa'uld. They promised to be nice from now on."
Jack just stopped walking. "They, promised to be nice?" he asked. "How many did Cat kill?"
Xander shrugged, "None. I killed Cronus, but that was more a case of a misunderstanding than a deliberate action on my part, his First Prime shot at me, killed Cronus's host, the worm came out and I sliced it when it looked like it was going to try and jump at me for some reason. Then his First Prime tried to jump me, Cat made him a rat for some reason, and I stomped on him, broke his back."
Jack just stared at him. "Rat." He said.
Xander shrugged. "She wanted to impress them. I suppose she thought turning someone into a rat while all the Goa'uld in the room were on their knees before her might do the trick."
"The Goa'uld were on their knees?" Jack asked, moving to catch up with Xander and Cat, who hadn't stopped.
"Well, they told Cat it was customary for people to kneel in the presence of gods, so she obliged them, and made them all kneel." Xander explained.
Cat spoke up as they walked past a guard station, the Airman saluting O'Neill, and briefly inspecting Cat's and Xander's IDs. "I told them that if anything happened to either Earth or anyone from it that I'd be mad."
Xander suppressed a giggle as he added, "And you wouldn't like her when she's mad."
"We just thought we should let the General know not to worry. Also, Xander wanted to talk to your doctor about the prions, I think she called them, that she found in his blood." Cat said, with a glance at Xander.
General Hammond looked up as his 2IC came in, leading the young couple who as far as he knew should be halfway across the galaxy at a meeting with the Aligned System Lords and the Asgard. "How is it that you two are back so soon? I would have expected the conclave to have barely begun by now."
Xander shrugged, "We went, we spoke, and we left. They agreed to leave Earth and it's inhabitants alone from now on."
Hammond looked a bit surprised, "They what?"
Cat said, "I warned them that if they ever took any actions I disapproved of, I would make my displeasure known, permanently."
"And at that point, we left, while they were still off balance from Cat's little speech." Xander concluded.
"If they ever give you any more problems, just let us know, and we'll come back and end it once and for all." Cat answered. "I have had more then enough of those arrogant puffed up little worms. If I ever have to deal with them again, I'll bring my brother along and set him loose. He enjoys meeting out justice."
"How exactly are we to let you know we need your assistance? I was under the impression you were visiting from an alternate reality of some sort.", the General asked.
Cat just shrugged, "Pray. It should work wherever I am, it's a God thing. Any time someone prays to us, we know it. It's how I knew a bunch of my Mom's followers tried to start a cult to worship me a while ago - I felt them, asked my Mom about it, and she told me it was a prayer. She then had her priests look into it, identify the cultists, and keep an eye on them."
"What happened to them?" Jack asked.
"Oh, they gave up after a while. I never answered them, unlike my Mother who would put in occasional appearances and even intervene on occasion. Plus, they had a hard time gaining converts, since no one could say my name." Cat explained.
"No one could say Cat?" Jack asled.
Cat giggled, "Cat isn't my True Name." She gestured, and an Egyptian looking scroll appeared on the general's desk covered by an intricate hieroglyph, depicting something round and solid, yet Jack thought he saw the sign for water, overlaid on a symbol for cold, something like rain, and a sign for soft. "That's my True Name, given my by my parents upon my birth. No one could say it, because no one ever gave it a pronunciation. In fact, the word was only a concept, something never seen in Egypt. I was named it specifically so that my name could not be spoken, in an attempt to thwart a prophecy. Not that it worked. Eventually, I was kidnapped and taken to Hell, where Xander here rescued me, and not knowing what he was doing, he spoke my True Name. Names have power over us, and by giving me my name, he became bonded to me, and I to him. But if you are going to pray to me, you will need it. Just please, insure NO ONE ever finds out what it is, because as I said, True Names have power. The right being, with my True Name, in the right circumstances could bind me or enslave me. They could summon me and command me. Which is why many beings conceal their True Name, using instead a Public Name, which in my case is Cat. Cat Harris. But my True Name wasn't even used at my wedding."
"So what is it?" Jack asked, looking again at the hieroglyph.
"Cat, would you mind?", Xander asked, looking at his wife.
She just smiled and vanished.
A small, fluffy white cat now stood on the General's desk. Xander reached out and lifted the cat lovingly into his arms, idly scratching her stomach as he held her upside down. "I found her set up for a sacrifice in a Demon Lord's demesne. I killed the guards, cur the kitty free, and ran for our lives. I didn't think we had a chance of making it. But somehow, we ended up outside, still running. We had a guard and some hellhounds in pursuit, when a portal opened up in front of me. I dove through, feet first, actually, and the demon and the hounds followed. I tossed the cat to safety and turned to face them on the other side of the portal, which had opened into a forest. I killed them, with a bit of help, then I made my way through the woods, found a road, and eventually a truck came by and offered me a ride. And the kitty jumped into my lap. The driver asked me her name, and I thought about it, about the chance I'd thought we'd had, and her color. The name was obvious."
Jack and Hammond both looked puzzled. Finally the General spoke, "Obvious to you, perhaps. But not to me. What did you tell the driver her name was?"
Xander smiled and set the cat back down on his desk, "Snowball. As in 'A Snowball's chance in Hell.' Seemed appropriate to me at the time."
Jack started laughing, "A goddess named Snowball?"
Xander frowned, and the cat hissed at him. Suddenly he got really quiet and started studying the hieroglyph again.
"So, this is supposed to be a snowball?" Hammond asked following Jack's gaze back to the scroll.
Cat returned to her human form and smiled, "Yeah, it never snows in Egypt. So who would create a word for a ball made of something no one had ever seen? They thought it was really clever, creating a hieroglyph for a word which didn't exist, and never explaining it to anyone, not even me."
"So how do we use this to pray to you?" Hammond asked.
"Just hang it on a wall, or set it on a table. Light some candles, make an offering, and ask for my help. You can think my true name while you do that, and I'll almost be compelled to appear, but just calling on the Goddess Cat, wife of Alexander should work. Tell me, or rather the ideogram what you ask of me, and if I deign to grant your request, the candles will flare and the offering will vanish. If I refuse to help you for some reason, the candles will just go out, or will vanish entirely. If it and the candles remain unchanged, then try again, this time go ahead and use my True Name out loud. If it still doesn't work, then something is really wrong. It doesn't mean I didn't hear though, just that for some reason I was unable to respond. Like when I was held prisoner in Hell, even had someone summoned my by my True Name, I was already bound, and would have been unable to comply." Cat explained.
Jack nodded, "One last question. What is this offering?"
Cat looked speculative for a moment, then she suddenly grinned, and held something out to Jack.
He picked the plastic wrapped object up from her hand and looked at it, turning it over, then shaking it, as though expecting it to rattle or something. "Is this?"
"Yep. A Twinkie. Xander got me hooked on them. Traditionally the offering is a bit of sacred food, but I like Twinkies. Just keep a box around, with the scroll and a pair of candles. You can probably keep them in the same box, I understand Twinkies have like a five year shelf life. Just replace them on occasion, because I wouldn't be happy to have a stale Twinkie as my offering."
Xander just grinned.
Harry sat in his quarters, looking at the vials he had stolen the day before.
He cursed the instant the idea had crossed his mind. They had proved to be nothing but trouble, first the challenge of keeping them cool, something he had massively underestimated. He thought he had been so clever with the idea of using ice cream to chill them, but all that and the sherbet had gotten him was a mess on his carpet which he would eventually have to explain to the cleaning crew.
The cup of ice was a far better idea, but even that had proved useless over the course of his duty shift, the water being almost room temperature by the end of his interminable sentence at that damn desk.
And now the computer informed him that the courier was on-site, but having problems due to the heightened security.
And by now the damn samples were probably useless anyhow. He wasn't sure what the shelf-life of a blood sample was supposed to be when not refrigerated, but he didn't think it was very long. Certainly the almost warming last night coupled with this afternoon's warm up couldn't be good for it.
And even so it had only been a long shot, based on the fact that Dr, Fraiser had felt that Xander's 'condition' may be communicable. Through the prions she had detected in his blood.
He should have left her alone, allowed her to isolate the prions, and then stolen them after arranging for transport in advance.
He was an idiot, and he knew it.
There was a knock on his door. Harry slid the lid back on top of the now refilled cup of ice and water, and went to open the door. Hopefully it was the courier and these stupid samples wouldn't be his responsibility anymore.
Cat followed Xander into the infirmary.
Dr. Fraiser looked up from her desk at the entrance of the pair. "Xander, Cat?" she asked, confused. "I thought you would be off with the Goa'uld at that conference thing about the treaty?"
"We went, we talked, we left." Xander explained. "The worms, as Cat calls them are unimportant. The stuff you said you saw in my blood is. Can you check both of us again, and compare the samples?"
Janet blinked, "Uh, as far as comparing the samples, no. The original samples have disappeared. In fact, if you hadn't both been off-world, I would have wondered it you hadn't had something to do with it. But I can certainly draw some new samples and check both you and Cat to see if the levels have remained constant, or if the infection in your wife has increased. I can't imagine it increasing in your samples, everything was pretty much saturated with them from what I could see."
Cat offered an arm, "Please check. I may have cleared them out, but it would be nice to be sure."
Janet was reaching for a needle but paused, "Cleaned them out?" she asked.
Cat shrugged, "In the general's office I changed myself twice. I used that opportunity to I suppose you could say reset my template, essentially creating a whole new form, instead of just changing the existing one. It is a bit harder, but easier to do than massive healing for an example. If it worked, then we can either kill Xander and see if they go away while he is dead, or if not, I can try and teach him how to do what I did. We already know he can change his form, he just doesn't know how yet."
Janet wasn't sure what to make of this. However she went ahead and drew some blood from Cat, then drew some more from Xander.
After a brief examination of Cat's blood under the microscope she pushed back from the desk and looked at her amazed, "There isn't anything in your blood. Not prions, not even the normal contaminants which build up over time. It's amazing."
She turned back to the microscope and started looking at Xander's blood. And continued looking. Occasionally she made an odd sound.
Fifteen minutes later Xander coughed gently to get her attention.
Janet looked up, shocked, "Oh, sorry. It's just. I was mistaken. You don't have a prionic infestation in your tissues. You have at least eight of them, all different. You should be dead."
Cat looked at her husband, then back at the doctor, and back at Xander again, who shrugged. "We can try.", he said simply.
Cat nodded, then moved to stand behind him. "Doc, get another pair of needles. We want you to take two more samples."
Janet frowned and got afresh needle from the box, then started walking towards the couple. She was less then three feet away when Cat reached out and with a viscous twist to his head calmly broke her husband's neck, then grabbed his body before the corpse could fall to the floor.
Sergeant Stemson looked at the frazzled colonel before him. He was wearing a rumpled uniform, carrying a cup of ice water, and looked like he hadn't slept in a week.
"Can I help you?" the colonel asked.
"Seargent Stemson, sir. You are Colonel Harry Mayborne?" he replied.
The Colonel nodded, "Yes."
"Good. I hope you have a package for me? I've been trying to pick it up for over an hour, but you weren't here." The Sergeant replied, trying to hide the frustration in his voice. He had been ordered to obtain these samples at any cost, a direct order had included injecting the samples straight into his own body if he had to, in order to get them out of the facility. Of course that was a last-ditch option, only to be considered if they had tightened security to the point that he honestly felt the concealed carrier would not make it through. He was distressingly close to making that call already, however he would scout the guard stations one more time before he risked his life for his country to that extent. He was aware that the samples were hoped to be useful in developing a super soldier program, and that he was a match for the blood type of the samples, however no one knew if the actual contents could be sucessfuly extracted from his own body after being diluted with his own blood. Or what the side effects of such an exposure would be, he had been informed that these samples had become important because a Dr. worried that the original doner's mutations may be communicable. He wasn't sure what those mutations were exactly, just that he was able to kill aliens with apparent ease. "I was starting to worry you had been detained against your will."
"I was. I was detained sitting for hours on end behind a desk, waiting for a phone to ring which never does. Here, these are the samples. Get them back to the NID ASAP. Make sure they focus on extracting the prions as a first priority, I am not certain of the continued integrity of the samples. They have not been kept as cold as I would have preferred. Make sure the researchers know that.", the colonel said, passing him the cup of ice water.
Inside the cup, he found two vials of blood, still liquid, which gave him a measure of confidence that they would be ok still. His mission was still on.
"Thank you sir. I'll be sure to let them know." Stemson said, as he saluted the colonel and slid the vials into the hidden compartment of his briefcase. There was nothing to keep them cold there, so he had to move fast to get to his vehicle and the cryogenic transporter stored there.
Janet overcame her shock at the casual murder, remembering that Xander was supposed to be like the Immortals from that TV show, and if so then he would be fine, as long as Cat didn't remove his head.
She shoved a needle in his arm, using the visable vein as a guide, as with Xander dead, his blood was no longer flowing.
She extracted a sample, and rushed it over to the microscope.
A swift examination showed the prions still there, but in far lower concentrations.
She moved back to get another needle, but even as she reached the box, Xander gave a loud gasp, and sat up.
Janet continued her task, collecting a new needle, and swiftly drew a third sample.
An examination of this newest sample showed only a few prions left, but even as she watched, one of them reproduced.
Janet took a fourth, fresh sample, and found that the prion count was even higher in that sample. And by the time she got around to taking a fifth sample, the counts equaled those of the first one. Even though it made no sense, she was willing to voice a speculation. "It looks like while he was dead some factor of his physiology acted against the prions, destroying them. But for some reason there were some which did not seem to be effected by this attack, what would make these different from the others I don't know. But these 'core prions' seemed to provide for an impossibly fast re-infection once Xander regained consciousness. Without understanding the mechanism which destroyed the bulk of the prions better, I couldn't begin to speculate on a more viable treatment. Perhaps repeatedly, er, killing, Xander might somehow clear out those core prions, but if they are indeed immune to the effects which destroyed the bulk of them, then that probably wouldn't have much effect. I just don't know. I've seen a lot of strange things in the last couple of years since I came here, but this is the most, fascinating case I've come across."
Xander looked speculative, then his eyes suddenly widened. "Lucy!"
Cat whirled, her face changing to one of cold fury. "What has Lucifer to do with this?"
Xander raised a hand and shook his head, "No, not directly. It's what he said. He mentioned that snacking on his minions could have consequences. Perhaps their tissues contained the original prions. It would make sense, since there are at least eight different ones,"
Janet interrupted, "Actually, with the lower concentrations, I was able to identify fourteen distinctly different prions, and some others which I'm not sure if they are different or not. There could be more than twenty separate types. At least."
"Yeah, well I snacked on lots of different demons over the twenty odd years I spent in hell. Well over twenty different types. If each of them had a different type of these prion things, then there could be lots of different ones in my by now."
Cat nodded, "Aspect of the demon. Of course, your own physiology would likely suppress then bulk of them, possibly incorporating ones it found beneficial, which would explain the way you were able to command the enforcers, even with the age of your Vampire, that was more than you should have been able to do. But if you'd eaten from a Kaltak demon, they have no mouths, you could have obtained the mental abilities they use to communicate and hunt, but without the normal insanity and death most humans would suffer, because you already had a measure of the talent, and the ability to control it. Who knows what suppressed talents you've obtained from Lucifer's minions. No wonder he was so upset. And when you are dead, your Quickening wipes out all the infecting prions, but because the original ones are demonic in nature, it can't kill them as easily. It makes sense."
Xander nodded, "I remember that one, actually. It had glowy blood. Kind of sweet tasting. But nothing ever happened to me after I ate any of the demons. I'd remember if I suddenly was reading minds or something."
Cat frowned, "Have you tried?"
Xander shook his head, "No. Why would I? I know that if I drink someone's essence I can touch their mind, drink their memories, skills, and knowledge along with their blood, but not without that contact. It's the blood that does it."
Cat shook her head in response, "Perhaps. But try it sometime without the blood. You might be able to do it all y yourself. Perhaps the Dr. here would be willing to volunteer to let you take a peek in her head, without biting her."
Janet looked like a deer in the headlights at the sudden thought of someone invading her head. Xander felt the concern and worry radiating from her suddenly, and said softly, "No. I don't think I want to try it unless I have to." Then he realized something. He had FELT the concern and worry from the Dr. Not through Cat, but directly. Perhaps Cat was right after all.
"So, if killing me won't do it, what should we try?" Xander asked, to change the subject.
Cat shrugged, "We can try reforming you from scratch. Like I did with myself. That'd clear out any prions or anything else that wasn't a part of 'you' in your body. I think you should be able to do it, since you managed to make yourself a cat yesterday, and were late able to resume your normal form. Resetting your template is a bit trickier, as you have to actually destroy your body and reform it from scratch, instead of just changing it from one form to another one, but the process is the same, essentially."
Janet just watched as the two conversed, discussing shifting their forms as though it was nothing more unusual than changing clothes. These two were certainly an, interesting couple.
General George Hammond sat in his office, looking at the preliminary report he was preparing for the president, outlining the SGC's contact with the entities Xander and Cat, when his phone rang. The black one, not the red one.
"Hammond here." He answered tersly.
"General, this is Janet Fraiser." The voice from the other end came instantly.
"Xander and Cat aren't giving you any problems, are they?" George asked, with more than a little concern.
"No, they are talking about trying a new treatment to remove the prions from Xander's blood. But it's those prions which prompted my call. Remember we are missing the earlier blood samples taken from Xander and Cat when we did the first examinations? Well bassed on speculation from both Cat and Xander, I am inclined to recommend sealing the mountain until we can locate those samples."
"That seems a little extreme, Doctor. What's the reason?" George asked.
"Well, if they are right, those prions come from demons, literally from hell, sir. And are indeed contagious, able to cause people to exhibit demonic traits. Xander was forced to feed on them over the course of his stay there, apparently he was trapped in hell for over twenty years, and demons were one of his few food sources. The important thing is that exposure to those prions could conceivably cause detrimental mutations. Cat mentioned that one demon, which Xander acknowledged having been exposed to, caused uncontrollable telepathy leading to insanity and death. Sir, if those samples are compromised, who knows what the results would be." Janet explained.
"So you are recommending sealing the entire facility until we find them? I can't do that Doctor. I will meet you half way though, I'll step up security to insure they can't be smuggled out under any circumstances. I'll also instigate a room to room search. If they're still here, we'll find them."
"If that's all you can do, General, then I'll just have to hope it's enough. Thank you Sir." The Doctor said, then she hung up.
General Hammond had just finished relaying his orders when light flashed throughout his office, and Thor, accompanied by Sam and Daniel appeared in the middle of the room.
Sergeant Stemson looked again at the checkpoint at the end of the hall. Security had been stepped up yet again. It actually looked like anyone trying to leave was being led away for a discrete search, and based on the apparent gender segregation of the parties involved, he assumed a strip search to one degree or another.
He looked again at the briefcase holding the samples in it's false bottom. An old, simple, yet effective trick. But if they were going to the extent of stripping officers to check their clothes, then the case would almost certainly be subjected to enough inspection to disclose it's simple ruse.
Which left him with only one viable option. He changed his direction, making his way to the closest restroom. He'd have to carry the samples out himself. He just hoped the Doctors were right that he'd be in no immediate danger, and that they should be able to isolate the prions later and remove them if they proved harmful. The things he did for his country.
Janet watched in fascination as Cat changed from a human to a white cat, and back again.
Then suddenly, Xander changed as well. Where he had been standing was now a black cat. The cat looked up at her and meowed. It then walked over to Cat, who picked it up, and said, "Good. Now change back, like you did the other morning."
The cat meowed again. But nothing happened.
Cat changed once more, leaving two cats and the doctor in the infirmary, and that of course was when the General came barging in. "Dr. Fraiser, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak with your, guests for a moment."
Doctors Daniel Jackson and Samantha Carter followed the General into the room, trailed shortly by the Asgard alien, Thor.
General Hammond looked around the room, his eyes missing the two cats on the floor, "Did they leave?" he asked.
Cat resumed human form, and stepped away from Xander, who was still stuck as a black cat.
"No, we're still here. Hello Dr. Jackson, Dr. Carter. Thor. What can we do for you General? The Goa'uld haven't been a problem already have they?"
Jack O'Neill came bustling into the room at this point "General, you wanted me to meet you here, sir?"
The General fixed his gaze on Cat and answered, "It seems Xander and Cat left a little out of their report."
Jack looked around the room, noting Cat, and the cat on the floor.
"Like what, sir?" Jack acked, confused and wondering if Xander was somehow the cat, and if not, what it was doing there.
"Like how they BLEW UP A MOON to convince the Goa'uld to leave us alone, or did it by using the god dammed Death Star!"
The black cat suddenly shimmered an Xander was standing there once more, answering Jack's questions about it's presence, but raising one about why Xander was a cat in the first place.
Xander cleared his throat, but Jack had just finished processing what exactly General Hammond had said, and he asked, "Darth Vader's Death Star?"
Thor answered, "Yes. Lord Vader of the CNN. You know of him?"
Jack now looked really confused. "Uh, Thor, buddy, Darth Vader is a movie character. He's not real. Neither is the Death Star. Oh gods, we are so going to get sued if Lucas ever finds out about this."
The General was ignoring the byplay however, his gaze still fixed on Cat, "Well? Did you or did you not destroy a planetary body just to prove a point?"
Sam spoke up, "It's not possible. First the Death Star is a creation of fantasy, it simply can't exist, the physics behind it are fundamentally flawed for one thing, the energy requirements are so excessive for another, it's simply impossible. Then there's the moon. It didn't just blow up, Sir. I mean, it did, blow up, that is, but then it just disappeared. And that can't happen either. The conservation of mass and energy, for the mass of a moon to go away it would have to be converted to energy, and that much energy released at once would have been cataclysmic. It just couldn't have happened."
Thor replied to Jack, "He said he was from CNN when Baal asked him."
Jack shook his head, "Thor, Vader was from a movie. He was the villain, representing an evil empire. CNN is a news network."
Thor blinked at that, "Do they have many such ships? Cat implied that she could dispatch an entire fleet of them should she so desire. The Goa'uld were quite distressed. They were unable to detect either the mechanism for the arrival or the departure of the ship and it's tenders, nor were they able to determine what actually happened to the moon after it blew up. Many of them speculated that it had been a staged set up, but others pointed out that set up or not, the moon was gone. And anyone who can remove an entire moon from the middle of a fleet of Ha'tak motherships without detection regardless of the method was not someone to cross."
"CNN doesn't have any ships, Thor. The Empire had just one Death Star. It got blown up, they built another, and that got blown up too. But it was just a movie. Or rather, a series of movies. They are making a new in the series one right now, actually."
Cat finally answered, "They weren't taking me seriously. They seemed to only respect force. So I showed them force. It seemed to work."
Daniel responded, "Sir, some of the Goa'uld were talking about relocating."
Hammond looked at him, "What was that, Dr. Jackson?"
"The Goa'uld, some of them were considering leaving the galaxy. They were wondering if there was a way to find where Cat was from so they could be sure not to go there. They were pretty impressed, Sir."
Hammond cleared his throat, "Irregardless of if this impressed the Goa'uld or not, the fact remains that Cat used a weapon of mass destruction in our name, and without our authorization. This is not an acceptable situation."
Cat raised her hand, much like a kid in school would, "Uh, General?"
Hammond turned back to the goddess, "Yes?"
"Uh, it wasn't real, you know." Cat explained.
"What wasn't real?" Hammond asked.
"The Death Star. It was an illusion. Like Xander's clothes had been, just before we came to this dimension."
Hammond wasn't tracking what Cat was trying to say, "You blew up a moon with an illusion?"
Cat shook her head, "No. First I made the moon an illusion too."
"Made the moon an illusion too. Would you care to explain that to me?" Hammond asked.
Cat frowned, then looked around the room. Finally she reached out and plucked a pillow from a bed there. "Ok, this is a pillow. It has always been here, and it is real, right?"
Hammond nodded. Cat then reached out to empty air, and handed the General a second pillow. "And this one, this is a new pillow. It wasn't here before. But I made it real, so it's just like the first pillow."
She gestured at the bed she had removed the pillow from. There was a pillow on it still. "That pillow isn't real at all. It's an illusion. Try and touch it."
The General shifted the two pillows to one hand, and reached the other out to the new pillow on the bed. His hand went right through it, and a look of surprise blossomed on his face.
"Now set the other two pillows down." Cat indicated. General Hammond shifted the other two pillows to the bed, next to the one which only appeared to be there.
"Now try and touch them, I made all three illusions." Cat said, gesturing.
Hammond reached out and waved his hand through the three pillows, none of which offered any resistance.
Cat continued, "And as such, I can simply let them go whenever I want." All three of the pillows vanished.
"But that was a simple illusion, what Xander calls a glamour. But what Xander showed me the other day is different on many levels, yet still is no more real then the pillows were." She picked up two pillows which weren't there before and set them both on the bed. "This one, the pillow on the right, is just like the pillow which was always here, it is completely real in every sense. The other one, this one on the left, it isn't. It is more an illusion, like the pillows I just dismissed were."
General Hammond reached out his hand to pass it through the pillow, but only managed to knock the pillow off the bed. "That seems pretty real to me.", he said, picking it up off the floor.
"It is, as long as you remain here in this dimension. But it really isn't. I'm not sure what is wrong with it, exactly, but it's not really here at all. Sam can run some tests on it and see if she can find the difference, but I bet you anything that if you take both pillows through the Stargate, only the real one will come out the other side with you, because as tangible as it is, the other one is still just an illusion."
"So how does this pertain to your summoning the Death Star and blowing up a moon?" Hammond asked, as Samantha took possession of the two pillows, Cat calmly settling a new one onto the bed to replace them.
"Well, Xander figured out a way to create the illusions which were almost but not quite real. He didn't know what he was doing at the time, but he figured it out. And he figured out how to make something which wasn't really real, real. I just reversed the trick on the moon, I made the moon not really real. Then I made an illusion of the Death Star, made it solid, had it blow up the solid, yet fake moon, then dismissed the illusion before the explosion could hurt anything."
Hammond frowned, "And the people and installations on that moon? What about them?"
Cat shrugged dismissively, "There weren't any. I checked for that before I started doing anything. I even made sure the Death Star was created where it wouldn't hit anything, and where it's shot would miss, barely, but still miss the ship we were on."
Hammond nodded, "Ok. I'll have to take your word on that, I suppose. Please refrain from destroying celestial bodies in the future however, unless you get permission first."
Cat smiled, "Got it. No opening portals in the SGC, and no blowing up moons without permission."
Jack cut in, "Ya know, moons, planets, comets, meteors, maybe even suns would be nice."
Cat nodded earnestly. "Ok."
"Very well. Doctor, I'm sorry for bothering you." Hammond said, then he turned and headed out the door, followed by Thor, Sam, and Daniel.
Jack however turned back to Cat and asked, "Now, about that Death Star, I don't suppose you could whip me up another one, could you?"
Cat started to reply but Xander cut her off, "No. Like she said, all she could do was make an illusion of it in the first place. Sorry Jack, but you'll have to find your own Imperial Shipyards if you want a Death Star. That was just a one-off to scare the Goa'uld."
Jack sighed and nodded, "Of course. Always the same answer. All I want are some phazers and some photon torpedoes, but no. Humans are too primitive. You'll shoot your eye out." Still muttering to himself he turned and headed out the door.
To be continued in Chapter 22, "Ascension"