Title: A Lifetime of Style
Disclaimer: I do not "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea.
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Chapter 21: Fidelity
Kyle loves being a D.C. consultant. However, one client almost turns his life upside down. His name is Charles Rutt, and he's a doctor running for the United States Senate in North Carolina. He hopes to become the first openly gay Senator from the South, as well as the first Democrat to represent North Carolina after Kay Hagan lost in 2014. Kyle gives Charles campaign tips about how to win as a gay Democrat in a Southern state.
He really likes Kyle's advice, and the two of them have coffee together one day. They plan dinner for next week. Stan isn't too thrilled about this coffee meeting because his publisher is from North Carolina, and he's told Stan gossip from back home about how Charles is known as seductive and man-hungry.
Kyle neglects to mention the dinner.
At dinner, Charles tells Kyle all about Southern life and then asks if it's okay if he could see pictures of Kyle's family and childhood. Kyle knows that he and Stan have a plethora of photo albums and invites him over to go through them.
"The boys will love to meet you, especially Ryan. He wants to go into medicine," Kyle grins. He doesn't say this aloud, but he hopes that if Stan meets him, he'll relax. Charles has that Southern Gentleman persona down pat, and true gentlemen aren't spouse stealers.
"Stan? Rob? Ry?" Kyle calls out as they walk into the empty house. Kyle is a bit confused, considering they're all supposed to be home.
Kyle places a few photo albums on the couch. Charles looks at some pictures on the shelf, which are all of Kyle, Stan, the boys and their grandparents, Kyle and the boys, Stan and the boys, the boys, and of course, just Kyle and Stan.
"How long have you known Sam?" he asks.
"Stan," Kyle corrects, "since we were babies…our parents were best friends forever, so they'd bring us along for visits."
"Wow," he comments.
Kyle and Charles sit on the couch holding the book between them, and Kyle feels odd whenever Charles reaches across him to turn a page. The first few pages are pictures of him and Stan throughout the years.
They finish the book, and Kyle is surprised to see how close they're sitting. Kyle cheeks flush red when he asks his client what else he'd like to see.
Kyle shows Charles pictures of him and Stan in their sports uniforms.
"Ah, you were a stud in high school…well, you still are in my book," he says, stroking Kyle's hair. Kyle is about to make him leave when he feels lips press against his.
From the second Kyle saw his client's arm move toward him, he knew Stan was going to walk in. Life isn't fair, after all.
The door opens, and it sounds as if a pin just dropped. Stan and the boys stop dead in their tracks as Kyle pushes Charles away. He gathers his things and leaves without a word.
Stan sends the boys to their room, and Kyle starts an endless rant about how this was just supposed to be a work-related meeting, how he was sure everyone was home, how he didn't kiss the man back, and that Stan had to believe him.
"Why did you lie about what you were doing tonight?" Stan asks with concern.
"Because I didn't want to have a fight. Because…Stan…how could I ever…" Kyle can't even manage to say the word "cheat."
"We don't lie to each other, Kyle," Stan says, clearing his throat.
It's a tense evening. The boys do their homework, Kyle reads The Washington Post, and Stan watches an old Broncos game on the NFL Channel.
"Where'd you three go?" Kyle asks.
"We went out to get some ice cream. There's some frozen yogurt for you in the freezer," Stan replies.
Stan goes to bed, and Kyle sleeps on the couch, not because Stan made him, but because he feels so guilty and horrible. Ryan and Robert see him there in the morning and get ready for school without so much as a word. Kyle wakes up when Ryan accidentally drops his algebra book on the floor. They hug their dad and then leave.
The next day, the twins come home to find their fathers making out on the couch like horny sixteen-year-olds. Both boys are so relieved that they don't spew their normal "Get a room, you two!" complaint and just quietly head upstairs.
Charles wins the primary but loses in November due to a Republican wave that year.
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