A/N: Loved all of your reactions to the last one! :) Hope I didn't take too long on this one.
*Warning* Contains Kogan Tension, Logan angst/shocking chapter end :/
Disclaimer: Don't own BTR
Fire. My whole body was on fire. Sirens echoed loudly in my ears, and I'm sure my face was the brightest of red. I sat there stunned, my hand softly touching my cheek, unable to move even the slightest inch. What just happened? What did he just do to me? My left leg was filled with searing pain from the position I was sitting in. I had forgotten all about it being broken up until now. But I didn't even care. Soon the fire in my body was replaced by a feeling of lightness. I was sitting on a cloud. A nice, soft, fuzzy, cloud. Does this mean Kendall likes me? I staggered to get up, holding onto the dresser for guidance. Searching in Kendall's closet I found the crutches I was always too scared to use. But I need them now. Shifting my weight onto my right leg felt good for a bit. I awkwardly made my way down his stairs and into the living room.
"Where did Kendall go?" I asked.
"He went out the door a few minutes ago," his dad said. I opened the front door and stared outside. The neighborhood was barren and boy was it cold.
"Logan, wear a jacket. You don't wanna catch a cold!" Mrs. Knight told me. She handed me one of Kendall's sweaters. It was warm. I slipped it over my head and went out the door. I hated walking with the crutches. I had gotten to a point where I could ignore the pain while walking without them, but now I think it's back to square one. I walked up the hill to the end of the street and stared at the intersection.
"Where are you Kendall?" I asked out loud. I went forward through the intersection for a little while. This walk reminded me of that night I bumped into Kendall on Melissa's porch. Ugh, Melissa. Why did I have to think of her? She disgusts me. I found the place where I got that amazing cheesy bread. It really was so good. Out of my peripherals, I saw Kendall turn right. "Kendall, wait up!" I yelled to him. I ran as good as I could over to where I saw him. There was a wall of bushes separating us. 'Kendall!" He kept running. He didn't even turn around. He must have run through the bushes. I slowly poked my way through the brambles, scratching my cheek, the same one Kendall's lips touched, along the way.
It seems with each step, my leg hurts more and more, and Kendall gets farther and farther. Soon I am tired. And actually, really tired. I sat on a park bench to catch my breath. I've never noticed this park before. It was nice. But it's getting late. I'm kind of scared to be out when it's dark. Why is he avoiding me? Does he think I'm mad at him? I heard a rustling noise behind me and I turned around sharply.
"Kendall?" I said in a panic. He wasn't there. It was just leaves. But just to be sure, I started walking again. I followed this path up a small incline. The view from behind me was soon blocked by trees and I was surrounded by woods. I called out Kendall's name a few times but he didn't answer me. I know he's nearby though. Every now and again I can hear his thrashing footsteps.
"Kendall, you don't have to run from me," I said loudly. "I'm not mad at you. I just wanna talk." It got harder to go uphill so thankfully the incline decreased to flat land. I walked straight for a while and saw Kendall up ahead in the distance. He was sitting on a tree stump with his chin resting on his hands, elbows on his knees. Thankfully he stopped running away. It's getting really dark out. I slowly made my way over to him and stopped a few feet behind him.
"I'm sorry," he said.
"You don't have to apologize, Kendall. I'm not mad," I said. I wobbled over to him and sat down on a nearby stump. I rested the crutches next to me. Kendall looked them over.
"I didn't know you were on those again," he said.
"Yeah I fell. I think I need to use them for a while," I said. "It's no big deal though." He nodded his head. It felt like an eternity of silence so I broke the ice. "We should probably talk about it though. Don't you think?" He shifted uncomfortably.
"I'm just sorry. I shouldn't have done that," he said.
"No, I'm glad you did," I said.
"Shh, don't say that!" He said. I covered my mouth with my hand. "No one can know about that, do you hear me?" Normally I'd be getting scared and upset but I'm not. The look on Kendall's face breaks my heart. He's the one who's scared beyond belief.
"Okay Kendall," I said. "I promise I won't tell anyone."
"It meant nothing anyway," he added. I frowned slightly. I didn't want him to see though so I hid it. "I was just caught up in the moment I think."
"Kendall," I said.
"What?"
"I love you." Moments passed as I stared at him staring at his shoes, awaiting his response but it never came. We both just stood there silent with no mutual feelings at all. And at that moment, I was no longer on that cloud.
(The Next Day)
School was dragging on today, particularly lunch. None of the usual people sat with us. Kendall sat in front of me. He rested his head on the table, eyes closed.
"Excuse me, Mr. Knight," someone said approaching our table. Kendall lifted his head. The person waved his hand in a motion for Kendall to follow him. He looked nobody in the eye as he got up and went with this stranger.
"Who is that?" I asked someone at the table next to mine.
"That's Coach Gilbert," he said.
"For the hockey team?" I asked. He nodded his head. I looked toward Kendall and Coach Gilbert and tried to make out what they were talking about but I couldn't tell. They went on the other side of the caf. As their conversation progressed I watched Kendall's face grow more and more upset. Not good news. Coach Gilbert and Kendall shook hands, and Kendall returned to our table. He sat down without saying a word.
"What did he have to say?" I asked.
"I'm off the team," he said almost silently. "He wouldn't even let me explain." He rested his head on the table again, and pulled his hood up, completely covering himself.
"Kendall," I said sadly.
"I don't want to talk about it," he said through his sweater. I sat there not knowing what to do. I looked across the room and saw Blenny sitting alone as usual. Not wanting to leave Kendall alone but also not wanting to bother him, I flag Blenny over. He saw me and came to the table.
"Hey Logan. What's up?" he said.
"Not much," I replied. He looked at Kendall.
"What's wrong with him," he asked.
"He doesn't want to talk about it,' I said. Blenny nodded his head and sat down next to me. Having Blenny come over only added to the awkwardness. We all sat motionless until the bell rang, occasionally hearing Kendall's soft sniffles. Blenny walked with me, and we both walked Kendall to his next class. Even though he seems dazed, I know he appreciates the company.
"I'll see you after school okay?" I said. He nodded his head and entered his class. I watched him sit down and repeat his actions from the lunch table. A few seats to his right I saw Melissa watching him proudly. She disgusts me. I turned and headed for my locker to get my next few books. I was shocked to see nothing was written on my locker today. I had almost missed it actually because I had gotten so accustomed to those horrible names. I opened my locker and stared at my books, wondering how I'm going to carry them and use my crutches at the same time.
(Later)
I waited for Kendall outside of the school by his mom's van. I had told her about Kendall's rough day and she plans on talking with Coach Gilbert. I saw Kendall emerge from the building and make his way over to us. He still had on that same somber face.
"Kendall baby, are you okay?" Mrs. Knight said.
"Yeah, I'm good I think," he said. He sounded better than earlier but he still looked sad.
"Listen hun, I'm gonna talk to Coach okay?" she said.
"No! Don't do that please. That's so embarrassing. It's okay," he said getting in the van. I followed him. The ride home was as it always is, silent. I felt so bad for Kendall. He loves hockey more than anything. When we got home I noticed my dad's car in the driveway.
"How long has my dad been here?" I asked.
"Oh he's been here for a few hours. I had completely forgotten," Mrs. Knight said. "Actually he wants you to go see him."
"Alone? Is it safe?" I asked. I looked over at my house. I hadn't been in there in a while. It just brings back bad memories.
"I'm sure it is dear, but if you want he can come here," she said.
"Yeah, I'd rather that. Just in case," I said. I followed Kendall and Mrs. Knight inside and put my backpack on the floor by the couch.
"Do you boys want a snack before I go grocery shopping?" she asked us. Kendall shook his head and went upstairs but I said yes. I went into the kitchen with her and she handed me a pudding cup. I love pudding cups.
"What do you think my dad wants?" I asked. She handed me a spoon.
"I'm not sure sweetie. You want me to be there too?" She asked.
"No, I think I'll be alright. I feel safer here. Plus Kendall is upstairs too," I said. She smiled.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna pick up the girls and then go grocery shopping. Don't leave the house okay?" she said.
"Can I talk with my dad outside?" I asked.
"Yeah hun, that's fine. Just don't leave the yard," she said. She left and I sat at the table eating the pudding cup. It was chocolate pudding. I love chocolate pudding. And Kendall.
(Later)
I went upstairs to check on Kendall and he was sleeping, or at least pretending to sleep, so I left him alone. I thought it would be nice if I cleaned up his room though. I threw out all of the old pizza crusts and pizza boxes, and folded his "clean" clothes. I wanted to vacuum the rug, but I didn't want to bother him too too much so I swept it instead. That accomplished nothing. Kendall tossed and turned a few times but he didn't get up until the doorbell rang. He mumbled something incoherent. I poked my head out of the door and heard Kendall's sisters downstairs.
"I think your mom is home with the groceries," I said.
"Cool," he muttered. He rolled over and went back to sleep.
"Are you mad at me Kendall?" I asked. He didn't answer. I sadly turned and went downstairs to help. I went outside and grabbed some bags from Mrs. Knight.
"Thank you sweetie," she said. Can you call Kendall down for me?"
"I tried. I think he's still upset," I said. She looked understanding.
"Oh before I forget, your father will be coming by in a few. Something came up so he hasn't had the time to stop by," she said.
"All right," I said. I brought the bags inside and unloaded the items onto the table. Mrs. Knight went upstairs. I waited a few seconds and followed behind her. Kendall's door was closed once again. I put my ear against it and could totally hear their whole conversation. And I wish I didn't.
"I just want things to go back to how they were before I met him."
I didn't even wait to see if I heard correctly. I ran down the stairs and out of the door. My dad was waiting across the street outside of a black car. It had its trunk open. I ran right to him and hugged him. He seemed taken aback a bit but he returned the hug. And he also hit me over the head with a rock. I hit the ground with a thud and hurt my face on the curb. My father picked up my body and shoved me in the trunk of the car. I felt the car speed off and tried to erase my last memory of Kendall as I sat there in the fetal position, not caring what was gonna happen to me.
I didn't have time to edit this before posting so I'm sorry for any error you might have come across.
Why did Logan's dad do that? What is he gonna do with him? Review?