Alexis stopped by the hospital on the way back to her office. She walked past the nurse's desk to the elevator to take it the floor where her destination was located.
Dr. Kevin Collins, psychiatrist and close friend might be just the person to help her struggle to understand her most recent dreams.
He'd helped her through hypnosis over a year ago when she'd been so determined to remember more about Sam's father. She and her daughter had been working tirelessly to find a bone marrow match for Danny and Sam had pushed her to seek out the man who sired her as a possible candidate.
Either him or perhaps a member of his family could provide a winning match and save her grandson's life.
Yeah hypnosis had worked all right. It helped her remember the first name of Sam's father which was Julian. But not long after as a result of a marrow drive, they'd found a donor named Derek Wells.
Life got a whole lot more complicated after that.
Kevin's receptionist sat at the desk after Alexis walked inside his office. The woman smiled at her as she walked up to her.
"You here to see Dr. Collins."
Alexis took a deep breath, exhaling it slowly.
"I need to make an appointment with him for a session," she said, "Is he here now?"
The woman smiled and shook her head.
"He's at a seminar in Boston but he'll be back in town in a couple of days," she said, "Can it wait?"
Alexis paused, then nodded.
"I guess I'll call him when I get back and schedule an appointment."
The woman nodded.
"That should work. He's got some openings later this week and into the next," she said, "So it should be pretty flexible."
Alexis thanked her and left the office heading back to the elevator. As she did she saw Dr. O berating her daughter who dated Nikolas again.
Liz watched from the entrance in an exam room and Alexis knew she still had feelings for her nephew. She loved Nikolas but she definitely stayed out of his love life, especially when it got complicated.
She'd hoped Kevin would be able to schedule her for an appointment sooner than next week. These dreams which haunted her sleep permeated her waking hours as well. Images of events with Julian that could never have happened and yet they were so vivid, like watching a movie on a screen.
Only when watching movies, you didn't experience every sensation, ever scent and flavor.
She'd only known the younger version of Julian for several hours' right? So where were these dreams of times spent together coming from, if not her imagination? It couldn't be real, otherwise she'd remember them.
Kevin had to help her get to the bottom of them just like he'd helped her remember Julian's name. She remembered what he'd told her that day, that the hypnosis session could be the starting point for the release of more memories from that night.
Memories that her mind would allow her to access at the right time or when it became necessary.
It all frustrated her but nothing she could do about it until she returned.
The elevator took her to the lobby and she walked out to her car. After getting inside of it, she headed back to her office. Maxie was working on some case files sorting them out. Alexis had started her intake interviews in between sessions in court arguing various case motions.
She and Dianne were due to spar in a case in the morning over a motion to dismiss involving a contract dispute involving one of the employees at the marina. She'd already done most of the preparation and after that, she'd check the status of the response she'd filed in response to ELQ's counter response to the original motion filed to block its seizure of Simone's property.
God that sounded convoluted already but she didn't want Simone to lose her home to a group of greedy developers hired by a corporation that thought it owned this town.
"Are you ready to get the next stack of files?"
Alexis looked up and smiled at Maxie.
"Sure…you going to the concert at the park with Nathan?"
Maxie nodded, her face lighting up.
"He's got a hearing with Anna but that affidavit you filed for him should help."
"Happy to do it," Alexis said, "there's something rotten about his suspension. If Ric grabbed his gun, that's on Ric if it got him killed."
Maxie frowned.
"I don't know why they were so hard on him for that. He feels badly enough."
Alexis knit her brow.
"I don't know either. I think she'll put him back on duty soon enough. There's no reason to keep him sidelined."
"I hope so. He misses his job a lot."
She left the room to deal with more files and Alexis turned to her phone. She had messages including one from Nikolas about another challenge to one of his subsidiaries and Sam saying she'd bring the Chinese takeout if Alexis would hear her and Patrick out on some information.
She returned the one from Kostas. He answered after a couple rings.
"Alexis…it's not an emergency," he said, "I was wondering if you had an answer for me yet…"
She sighed in exasperation.
"I told you this isn't going to happen Kostas," she said, "Let's just keep what happened between us in the past where it belongs."
He protested.
"Alexis…that's not very smart," Kostas said, "Remember what I told you about Milan."
She pressed her lips together.
"Yes I do and I don't believe you," she said, "Maximilian is not his son. He's his ward and his father is one of the Cassadines. I just don't know which one's his father."
Kostas chuckled.
"Alexis, Alexis…I'm telling you the truth," he said, "Why would Milan raise a boy that's not his own child? He hardly seems the type. He's pretty ruthless in most areas of his life. You just haven't seen them yet."
Now she got angry.
"I don't know that. He's been nothing but civil to me and my family since he arrived…unlike some men. I don't have a past with him like I do with you."
"No you don't…and however you feel about me," he said, "I'm a known entity, what do you really know about Milan Cassadine? You tell me…"
Alexis paused.
"I know he's not Max's father. It must be one of the Cassadines from Greece," she said, "Tony or Victor perhaps or my own father…God knows it wouldn't be the first time he fathered an illegitimate child."
"No it wouldn't Alexis but if it were someone like Mikkos, he'd have to hide him from the others not the least of which is Helena."
"Exactly…and maybe that's what he did," she said, "Maybe that's what kept Max alive and safe was to hand him off to a distant cousin to raise…pass him off like my father did with my sister and me."
Costas sneered.
"You can't believe that," he said, "I'm telling you that Milan is going to use his son to go after Cassadine Industries. I want to help you and Nikolas stop him."
"I don't believe you. I don't know what you're up to or why you even care about us. Why you'd involve yourself after…"
He cut her off.
"I do care Alexis. I do care about you no matter what you think," he said, "and that's why I want to help you."
She shivered, and felt her body tense. Damn him for trying the same tactics he'd used on her when she'd been younger.
"I don't trust you…so no, I'm not going to help you," she said, "especially since you won't reveal your silent business partner…"
"I can't right now…if I could…"
The determination of his voice, the wistfulness couldn't cut through his calculated tone. No, she couldn't trust him.
"I won't help you then," she said, "Perhaps if you told me who you were working with I might consider it. But obviously you don't want me to know and that gives me pause…"\
"If we could talk in person Alexis, I could tell you more to get you to change your mind especially with Cassadine Industries at stake. I know someone made a move against it and Nikolas again today…"
Her eyes widened.
"How do you know that? He just told me. See, you could be behind that along with your silent partner."
He sighed.
"It's got nothing to do with me," he said, "I heard about it from another source."
She was growing exasperated.
"Who you can't reveal to me," she said, "This conversation is over and no, I won't help you and no I won't fall back into bed with you. That chapter of our lives is certainly over."
He chuckled.
"I hardly think so Alexis. We're definitely not done yet."
She gritted her teeth growing inpatient.
"Yes we are…and I want you to stay away from me," she said, "I'm going to get some answers wherever I can find them and have already taken steps…"
"Like what?"
She hedged.
"That's my business not yours. But I'm going to find out who's really after Cassadine Industries and which Cassadine really fathered Maximillian."
The tone of his voice changed.
"You can't do that…"
She leaned back in her chair.
"Yes I can and I will," she said, "if he's in any way a threat to Nikolas or any member of my family I need to find that out myself and I will find out…"
She clicked off the phone before he could say anything else.
Julian finished supervising the publication of the Pt. Charles Press and then headed out to do some errands before heading back to the penthouse. Ava still had it in her foolish head that she was going to throw her lot in with Chimera Enterprises without knowing anything about it.
He'd tried to use his resources at the Press to do more research but came back empty handed for the most part. That made him suspect that it might be yet another shell company for the real enterprise, which told him it looked more than shady.
More than likely illegal business was involved. He should know, he'd done the same himself for his own boss.
He'd hit a dead end but he'd try harder because he didn't want anything to happen to his little sister especially as she was in enough trouble pregnant with either Sonny's child or his grandchild. Either way, Sonny had plans to execute her after the baby's birth. Julian wouldn't let that happen which is why he'd assigned guards to her at the penthouse.
The whole waterfront turf battle intrigued him. Different players had arrived in PC all at once for a piece of the action. Cassadines, Ivanov and ELQ preparing to fight it out…unless ELQ's eminent domain scheme was successful. Julian doubted it, not with Alexis in Simone's corner. He smiled as he thought about the probable outcome.
No ELQ would be forced to bid in competition for the choice parcels with the other corporate interests.
He hadn't seen her but she'd been busy and keeping her distance. He meant it when he told their daughter that nothing would happen to Alexis. He didn't trust Kostas at all and knew he was up to something.
If that involved Alexis, Julian definitely wanted to find out his plan. Asking Alexis about her past with him didn't seem much of an option as she had her past pretty much closed off. Even Sam said her mother didn't talk about it very much.
His mind flashed to the photo he'd seen of her in the newspaper when she'd been much younger like he had been. Back to a time in his life when he'd been learning the trade of journalism back in grad school.
She'd been involved in the raid on the Cassadines, the most notorious criminal family perhaps in the world. She'd hinted at her background during the time they'd spent together in Hanover but he knew she held most of it back.
He did know that she'd been so excited to be far away from the land that raised her and its diabolical family. So many questions needed answering but if she didn't provide them he needed to look elsewhere.
Milan might hold the answers to some of them and he'd seemed friendly enough. Julian did sense he cared for Alexis and her family. He didn't understand why.
He headed down the tree lined street towards the brownstone which housed Alexis' legal offices. More than likely she'd still be there working and if he offered her dinner at the Floating Rib, maybe she'd accept.
"Julian…"
He looked up and saw Dante of all people heading towards him.
"What?"
Dante looked uneasy.
"I need to talk with you. Anna's been investigating the attacks against Alexis."
Julian folded his arms.
"So have I. I doubt the PD has paid it the attention it deserves unless they can nail me as the number one suspect."
Dante hedged as they walked down the street together.
"Look I don't necessarily always agree with her. But there's no other evidence pointing to anyone else."
Julian sighed in exasperation.
"Of course there is if she gave a damn to actually look for it. This all happened after two men arrived in town. Milan Cassadine and Kostas Ivanov. I don't think that's a coincidence."
Dante nodded.
"We are checking them out but so far both look on the up and up…"
"I'm not finished. That's just the starting point. You need to look into all the corporate entities interested in buying up that lucrative waterfront property. Starting with ELQ."
Dante blinked his eyes. Clearly he wasn't liking that idea. Tough, thought Julian, he'd kill anyone who dare harm Alexis or any member of their or her family.
"I don't get it. ELQ wouldn't resort to targeting anyone with violence over a piece of property," he said, "They are very respected in this town, the few that are left anyway."
Julian rubbed his forehead.
"I'm just giving you a list of other suspects besides myself. I suggest you investigate them and find out who's responsible for trying to hurt Alexis before I track them down."
Dante frowned.
"Are you threatening someone Mr. Jerome?"
Julian looked back at him.
"Damn straight I am and that will translate to action if that's what it takes. I look after my own, you and the rest of the PCPD better remember that."
Dante sighed.
"We're doing the best…"
He lost Julian because just then, he saw Alexis walking down the steps of the Brownstone. She seemed preoccupied on her cellphone as she headed down the walkway.
Just then he saw a car rolling down the street slowly alongside her. He saw two men inside of it and then he reacted.
He left Dante sprinting down the street.
"Alexis…."
She looked at him just as the car pulled up alongside her and Julian saw the reflection of a gun emerging outside the window.
He ran harder and as Alexis turned to the gun, reached her just as the shots rang out around them.
Julian must have drifted off somehow in his less than comfortable position in the chair beside the hospital bed where Alexis slept. He had been thinking of all the questions that had remained in his mind as he started drifting off. Ever since he'd rolled off of where his body had landed on top of hers and saw the blood on her blouse.
While he had slept, his mind turned towards dreaming and he found himself filled with unfolding visions of himself with her in gentler times. Kissing that full soft mouth of hers or stroking her body with his hands. Alive to him, were the sounds of her murmuring and his words as well as the intoxicating scents and flavors of her skin. He dreamt about her often even though they'd been broken up and apart from one another The living world was frenetic, often dangerous and filled with odors and sounds that often overwhelmed; him and so that's when he remembered her, that young girl with the long wavy brown hair a few shades darker than ripened wheat from so long ago. Sometimes the vision of her would slip into his thoughts even though he barely remembered her name during those dark years in witness protection.
A piece of his past which had never really left him.
Now in more peaceful times, he still sought her out while asleep because he missed her so much and what they had shared together before life had gotten confusing enough and highly charged as it had kept them still separated from one another. His intention being that their time apart not be permanent.
"I missed you," she'd inadvertently whisper in his ears as he hugged her tight, before they kissed after reuniting from time apart. To him nothing tasted better on his mouth than her own and when she slipped her hands underneath his shirt to feel his bare skin, he sucked in his breath.
No better place in the world to be, whether it was for real or just a dream. He sat up straighter in his chair feeling his cramped muscles rebel watching her sleeping underneath the crisp sheets of the bed. An IV bag tethered to an arm and a heart monitor recording each beat.
Sam had been there earlier but Patrick had taken her home to tend to Danny. She'd embraced Julian like the frightened child he never knew and made him swear he'd call her immediately if anything changed.
Julian would not leave her not for one moment until she opened her eyes and came back to them.
Alexis went searching through the fog which enveloped around her for him. She had been wandering through a garden filled with succulent blossoms, their nectar heavy in the air around her just like it had finished raining. She knew that the garden loomed large with rows and rows of flowers and vines in a plethora of colors that would mess themselves up in a tangle soon enough if untended. The sky had looked as blue as a robin's egg, with no tufts of white marring it. She knew the sun shone brightly but it still felt pleasantly cool, her favorite part of a summer morning.
She had thought she caught sight of him several times. Or maybe it was just that she sensed he was there waiting. The giddiness that filled her of when she found him propelled her through the flowers.
"Julian," she had called him but from inside of her. Still she knew he could hear her if he were in the garden.
Then the light around her went away, gradually and darkness replaced it…but then a thick fog fell around her like a shroud. She felt it smother her breath before it could leave her. She could no longer see the flowers but could feel them crunch beneath her feet, the vines trying to grab her almost as if they were aware of her.
She couldn't see anything but the fog and then suddenly the visions slipped in between, flooding her, almost physically as icy water would if she fell into a river and got swept away in its current.
Then she was back there again, the dimly lit surroundings, the scent of a man's cologne and stale breath laced with vodka. Someone whose face she couldn't see had pushed her against the freshly pressed sheets covering the mattress, as he removed his own clothes. At that point she didn't keep count of how long it would take for him to finish with her in his anger. She just looked past him up to the ceiling of the room, not really seeing them. His grunts filled her air as she felt her bruised body pressed hard against the springs of the mattress, her neck burned with any movement so she lay still not wanting to breathe.
She wondered if the woman with the sad eyes had gotten away.
"I can't believe you chose that scheming woman who abandoned her own child and her husband to run away," the man muttered as he bucked his hips and thrust inside her. She spit out the words.
"She was kidnapped. She didn't belong here," she said, "She just wants to say goodbye."
He pushed against her harder. Her mind swum with the contradiction of it from the man she thought she knew.
"She's run off. She obviously planned to do this. Were you helping her this whole time?"
She shook her head as he bruised her wrists with his grip and her body with his anger. Yet she couldn't fight him, she wouldn't fight him. She deserved her punishment that had been given her. She'd betrayed a member of her own family and this was the price she'd pay.
The hours had passed slowly, but for her time had stood still. She could hear the laughter and the talking a distance away and then her mind left again.
Another man lingered in the background…and the room darkened, maybe his shadow had blocked out the light. But she felt his stare on her.
"I should have drowned her when she was smaller and couldn't fight back…I did try but my brother stopped me."
The other familiar voice. .
"She could have been helping her all along. She won't tell me of course but your wife got a head start. She's definitely cross the borders…"
"I know where she's going," the other man said, "I'll go there and wait for her to show herself. Betray her presence and then I'll bring her back home."
Then the other man spoke.
"I'll take care of her while you leave to bring your wayward wife back," he said, "I doubt she'll betray you or the family again."
She just lay there, not hearing either of them really even as she registered their words.
"Oh I will bring her back…and I'll punish her by keeping her away from our son…"\
Alexis tossed and turned in her bed, trying to fight her way back into the fog because at that point anything would be better than that place. But every time she tried to move…she felt pinned down…and then the darkness descended and she felt herself drowning again.
Julian woke up because he heard a woman crying and when he looked over at Alexis on the bed, she had been twitching at first and then her hands moved, her head turned. Her body tensed from where it had been relaxed earlier and he watched her struggling with someone he didn't see.
"Get away…just go away. Let me go…Don't try to find her…"
Her voice began low and almost like a whisper but then he heard her voice grow louder, more emotional and he got up out of his chair as she suddenly sat up, terror defining her facial features. And then he did something so quickly he didn't put any thought into it, just acted on pure instinct. He went to the bed and put his arms around her, pulling her close to him.
"Alexis…it's okay…I'm right here…"
God, he thought she might fight him like she fought in her dream…and he had to be ready to let ago but for now…she needed him.
"No….I can't go back there…."
She seemed more focused in where she had gone in the dream world than on him, so he tightened his hold on her and felt the warmth of her against his body. Her body shook and then it calmed as he rubbed her back, trying to soothe her. He didn't know what else to do because it tore him up seeing her this way.
"Let me go…."
At first he had thought she meant him but she didn't even really seem to see him. Her face pressed against him and he knew that the only way she'd know him was by the scent of his aftershave.
"Alexis…"
Then she started to press against him and snuggle closer and he let her. They remained that for a moment, with him feeling her heart that had been racing against his chest gradually begin to slow down. Then she moved in his embrace and brought her face up to look at him.
"What are you doing here? Where am I?"
She looked at him befuddled surprised to realize she was in his embrace.
He smiled.
"You got shot on the waterfront but the bullet just grazed you but I tackled you and you hit your head on the pavement so you got a mild concussion."
She looked around her and then back at him.
"Who shot me?"
He looked into her face.
"No one knows…the car took off quickly. I couldn't even grab a plate but Dante was there and saw it so now there's an investigation."
She sighed.
"I don't know why anyone would do it. I don't remember anything. I must have been dreaming."
"I'd say so…sounded like a nightmare…like you were trying to escape something."
Alexis's mind felt muddled at that point, from where she had just been to the reality that she had woken up with Julian's arms around her. Her body didn't know how to respond to his touch, she thought she might have pulled away from him sharply but she hadn't, she still remained in his embrace.
She didn't feel like going anywhere else, she noticed.
"I don't remember…I was just glad when I woke up."
He sighed loosening his hold on her a bit.
"You feel like going back to sleep?"
She thought about it, looking around at the shadows looming on the walls of the hospital room and hearing the faint beeping of the heart monitor.
"I'll fall back asleep eventually," she said, "Julian don't look at me like that. I'm used to it. I'm quite the dreamer."
His brow furrowed.
"When we slept together in Hanover and here, you didn't have these nightmares."
She felt a lump in her throat because she remembered how it had been, falling asleep in his arms after some loving and feeling secure and warm against him. No better place in the world to be or she'd rather be than with him. But that was when they reconnected in PC, she didn't remember anything about doing that back when they'd first met. He must be confused on dates. Still she liked it when he put his arms around her, wrapping her with his warmth.
She wanted that for at least a little while rather than surrendering to her fear.
"This is nice…"
He agreed and he stretched himself out on the bed pulling her closer to him. She lay against him, her weight pleasantly resting on him.
"It sure is..."
She closed her eyes and tried to relax again.
"I wish I could feel like this all the time."
"Me too Alexis…"
A pause and then she moved a little bit, he reflexively tightened his hold again and she settled down.
"The time we spent together it mattered a lot to me," she said, "You showed me what it could be like to be cherished and…I never felt so alive."
He smiled, remembering what it had been like because he knew what she said had been true about him as well. There hadn't ever been a woman on earth that had been like the one he held onto now. All those years they had spent apart only to find each other again.
"I'd never hurt you…You do know that don't you?"
He felt her nod against him.
"But not all men are like you Julian."
He heard her voice change and the tinge of resignation again and he took a deep breath feeling his way down a tricky path. He thought he had known her so well like he did himself but in some ways, she had become a stranger…though his body definitely recognized hers right now.
"Who hurt you Alexis…because someone clearly did in your dream?"
She tensed in his embrace but this time he responded by rubbing her skin with his fingers.
"You can tell me and I'll never judge you for it. I just want to help.."
She closed her eyes against him and he felt the struggle inside of her and didn't know what side of her was winning.
"Did a guy do something to you that he shouldn't?"
She stilled then and so did the war inside of her and he felt her nodding against him…and he felt coldness shoot through him…so deep it almost paralyzed him and he couldn't let it.
"What happened, what made you like this Alexis…where you're so afraid?"
She paused for a moment and then he heard her voice so quiet became more resolved.
"I don't know…why he did it. I didn't betray him, I betrayed my brother."
She said those words she had held deeply inside her for so long, she felt the release of what she had carried everywhere she went and she hadn't known the weight she'd born until she felt it gone. She'd pushed it so deeply inside of her for so long, she'd nearly forgotten.
Then she braced herself, she tensed again awaiting his reaction as her heart thud against her chest.
She didn't know how he'd respond. Ned would say the right things but silently blame her through the tone of his voice. Sonny wouldn't care unless it suited him. Ric would respond by banging the nearest woman in Sonny's harem he could find…Jerry…she didn't even want to think about how he'd respond given he'd tried to poison an entire town. But she wondered about Julian…
She saw none of that she'd experienced in her own past…his face softened in a way she hadn't seen before, and his embrace pulled her closer to his chest.
"Oh God Alexis…I'm so sorry…"
He didn't ask her who had done it or for details and she knew he must be burning inside with questions but for now, he focused on her. His fingers rubbed her back and she closed her eyes, feeling some moisture squeeze out and drip onto his shirt. She lifted up her head, not wanting to dampen his shirt.
"I don't know what there's to be sorry about, I did something…now I think I shouldn't have…I cost my nephew time with his mother..."
"You've got nothing to be sorry about…I just wish I'd been there…"
She shook her head.
"Don't say that. You were off living your own life. We shared a few hours together Julian you hardly owed me anything..."
He frowned then and she wondered what she'd said.
"Julian what is it…"
He stroked her hair back and looked into her eyes.
"Nothing Alexis…just relax and get some sleep…you need it and I'll stay right here with you."
She nodded.
"Okay…really Julian it's in the past whatever happened. Sometimes it just slips back into my dreams to remind me that I didn't make the right choices."
He felt her voice choke and his own eyes stung because the visions that filled him right now of her being punished for something she'd done…they stirred all kinds of emotions in him. Rage…sadness…and a protective feeling towards him that dominated all of them. He shouldn't have walked away from her back in Hanover those years ago. He felt puzzled at how she'd reduced what they'd shared together to a one night stand. It wasn't some epic love story but he'd been left with fond memories of their time together.
She tensed against him and his thoughts returned to what she needed now.
Right now that meant holding onto her tight.
"Okay…I'm really glad you told me. As much as you did..."
She nodded again against him.
"Why don't we both get some sleep and we'll figure things out in the morning…"
"Julian…"
"Alexis…I'm going to be there for you because I love you and that's that. Now close those eyes of yours and get back to sleep and know I'll be here if you have some more bad dreams."
She sighed against him and he knew she had just closed her eyes and likely would soon drift back to sleep out of exhaustion. As he felt her body calm and her breath become more even, he lay on the bed, feeling his own slumber eluding him.
He had to find out more of her secrets including the one that nearly got her killed.
: