NeonDomino, I should've written many, many thanks to you in all previous chapters, but definitely in this one.
Thank you for, perhaps unintentionally, placing the pensive idea in my brain. It makes this chapter work so much better then I had planned!
To all other followers and reviewers; I should've thanked you all a lot, and a lot earlier too! Thank you! Reading your responses absolutely keeps me writing.. We've almost passed the amount of Reviews ' Making Love to your Pillow' got. Think you can top that?
To those who never read 'Making Love to your Pillow', do! It's incredibly awkward.
Now. Next chapter! Huuuuge chapter. I know. But somehow I think you won't mind..
Sirius walked into the appointed room, slightly limping. It was a living room. James and Lily's, he guessed. They probably lived above their shop. It was quite cozy. Yet spacious. But the longer he looked around, the less it seemed like a living room. To the left was a large table with about twelve chairs. There were several couches in several arrangements. A large, empty space in the middle with practice dummies and a lot of books about magic. It was like a classroom.. Was he making any sense?
Remus closed the door behind them and sat down at the large table, Sirius followed his example. It felt awkward. How would one discuss the matter of a broken relationship that got thrown back together in such a whirlwind of magic, pain and power?
'Well. A proper hello might be in order.' Remus smiled awkwardly.
'Hello.' Sirius said, agreeing with him. A normal start was a nice thing after all the chaos.
'Can I say that wasn't the reunion I was hoping for?' Remus continued.
'Me neither.' Sirius admitted. 'Though in all honesty, I thought I'd never see you again.'
Remus smiled sadly, his hands folded in his lap under the table. It was adorable. Still so adorable.
'You came back though.
'Yes.'
A short silence.
'What made you come back?'
Suddenly the image of Jack popped back in his head. Laughing, drinking beer, smiling. Dead. He felt guilty. Through all the chaos and pain, he had totally forgotten. It had been him that pushed him back towards Remus. And he could never thank him if things would work out.. All of a sudden Sirius felt sick. Literally.
'Oh god. Sirius.' Remus responded very quickly and pushed a bucket in Sirius' lap, just in time to catch the stream of vomit, that mostly existed out of beer, and made sure the black curls weren't in the way. Sirius gagged a couple of more times but nothing more came out. He whipped his mouth clean with his sleeve, the bitter taste still on his tongue. Remus handed him a glass of water. He eagerly rinsed and then both the glass and the bucket disappeared, leaving Sirius to feel a lot better.
'Makes things a lot easier.' Remus joked. 'Knowing you are a wizard.'
'A lot weirder, too. That of all people I just bumped into you. I should've felt it.'
'Me too. But let's face it. We were otherwise occupied.'
Sirius smiled sheepishly. Then both faces fell Sirius again.
'We'll talk about that later. Alright?' Remus offered and Sirius nodded. It just didn't feel right to talk about their relationship right now.
'There are some things I want to know, though.' Sirius started carefully.
'Alright. I don't think I have the right to refuse you anything after this long day.'
Sirius resisted the eyebrow wiggle that usually came so automatically and started his shout out of questions.
'What did you tell Lily? Why was she so angry? Why did you hung up on me and how did you know I was in trouble? Why didn't the Death Eaters kill you straight away? Why-'
'Whoa, calm down!' Remus chuckled. 'At least give me a chance to answer them!'
'Right. Fair point.' Sirius opened his mouth to ask one question at a time, this time. But he couldn't decide what he wanted to know first. It was a whirlwind in his head and he couldn't grab on to one particular thing. Remus seemed to understand.
'I've got a better idea.'
He flicked his wand, this time Sirius had the time to admire how gracefully and well skilled that went, and a small wardrobe ticked open. Something came drifting towards them. A bowl of stone, engraved with weird markings. Sirius guessed runes.
As it landed on the table, right in front of it, he finally understood what it was. A pensive.
And indeed. Remus tapped his temple with his wand and extracted a thin, shining sliver of silver mist.
'I've never seen one of those.' Sirius admitted as Remus let his wand touch the odd surface of the bowl. It looked like water and yet it didn't.
'No? They are quite useful. This one is mostly a collection of evidence, so I'll have to remove these when we're done.'
All of a sudden Sirius got it. The couches, the dummy, the books.
'We are at the Order's headquarters, aren't we. The shop is just a decoy.'
'Partially.' Remus said, softly pushing Sirius into the surging silver mist.
Sirius landed in Remus' living room, realizing Remus hadn't followed him into the memory. He probably knew damn well what had happened. Remus was sitting on the couch, the fire in his fireplace still burning with an odd glow. Sirius suspected he had used it to send a message. Or someone was coming this way. Or both. And he was right. It flashed green twice and Lily and James came twirling out of it.
They ran towards Remus, James sat down next to him, Lily on the small table in front of the couch.
'Remus! What happened to your hand! Let me heal it!' Lily reached out for Remus' hand but he stepped back.
'No. I deserved this. Gods. I think I made a huge mistake.'
'Yes, please inform us thusly about said mistake. You said something about Death Eaters and Sirius. That is a freaky message to send out, mate.' James frowned.
Remus nodded though it was hard to see in his current pose. His head was buried in his arms, one hand's fingers sticking in a sickening angle. The hand he had broken during their fight, Sirius reckoned.
'He's a wizard.'
Both Lily and James gasped in surprise, though James' one was a little more happily.
'The Death Eaters.. One of them was his brother. Regulus Black.'
Another gasp. No happiness this time.
'He is a Black?' James and Lily both shouted out. Remus just nodded again.
'Initially I was very shocked. Then I realized the danger he was in. There will be a war soon. I don't want him to be with me, where he'd definitely gets killed if the wrong people found out. Which they did. I think I thought he was one of them for a moment. That it was all a trick. But as soon as I closed the door on him, his eyes kept hunting me. They were so scared.. What if he was telling the truth? What if he never wanted to see his family again because he disagreed with them about.. well. Pretty much everything?'
'Remus.' Lily took hold of his hand. The good one. 'It could be a trick. Part of a very elaborate plot to either kill you or torture you.'
'It could be. But what if it's not? What if I chased him back to those who try to kill him?'
'That would be unfortunate.' She admitted though clearly still not convinced.
'Lily. I think I love him.' Remus whispered.
'Yes.. but you have to keep in mind.. This could still be a lie. Perhaps he plays his tricks very well. Stay here. Promise me you won't go after him.'
Remus nodded. James frowned. Lily sighed.
The vision changed.
Remus was still sitting on the couch. James and Lily were gone. It was getting dark. He rolled a wand between his fingers that Sirius immediately recognized as his. Remus was crying, silently.
There was a loud blast as the door got blown from it's hinges but he didn't seem to care. He just kept staring at the wand. He didn't seem to care that he was about to die.
'No protection spells. That's new. It that what he does to you? He's never coming back, you know. His father will make sure of that. He wouldn't let his son be fucked by one like you or me.'
It was Fenrir Greyback. The Deatheather Sirius had seen before..
'Just kill me.' Remus growled.
'Well, well. Aren't you broken hearted. And all of that over a pathetic little bloodtraitor.'
Remus didn't respond. Sirius wasn't sure what he'd expected. That Remus would've jumped up to protect his honor? Treat Fenrir to a black eye or at least poke it out with his wand? But he didn't.
Another pair of footsteps entered the room. These more hesitant. Sirius recognized him straight away. It was Regulus. Sirius wanted to shout. To punch him or at least call him a few good names. But then he saw his brother's face.
Sirius, though not a literal part of this memory, sank down on the couch between the two of them as his brother looked down at Remus. It was a look he hadn't seen on that face in forever. It wasn't disgust. It wasn't hate. It was.. compassion. Fear. And Remus recognized it. Sirius looked from one face to another and the glances that were exchanged. Regulus felt bad for Remus. He really did. And Remus.. saw it.
His lips moved, ever so slightly.
'Don't do this. Please. Go find Sirius and hide.'
Regulus swallowed. Hesitation. The phone rang. Regulus took a step towards the door. Remus' eyes begged him to leave. Fenrir picked it up. Regulus started at Remus with begging eyes and mouthed something that Sirius picked up as
'Stun me.' But the caller on the phone changed everything. Sirius knew who it was. That was his phonecall.
'Hello?'
'Remus?'
Both Regulus and Remus stiffened at the sound. In the short moment of silence they both realized it was too late to escape. With fear in his ear, Regulus pulled his wand. With fire in his eyes, knowing Sirius was still alive and well, Remus jumped from the couch. And Fenrir, taken aback by the sudden change of heart, dropped the phone and got slammed into the wall.
It changed again.
Sirius was standing next to his body on the library floor. Unconscious. Cradled by Remus, James next to them biting his lip. Lily was still standing a few feet away from them, arms crossed and a puzzled look on his face.
'Remus..'
'Lily, don't get started.'
'No. I just wanted to ask.. What happened?'
'I got attacked.'
'What?! By whom! Why didn't you call us.'
'Fenrir. And his brother.' He nodded towards Sirius. 'Regulus. Poor kid. He was so scared.. I hope he'll be alright.'
James snorted.
'Seriously.' Remus continued. 'He is just the result of his upbringing. He isn't as headstrong as Sirius. He's just a kid..' He absentmindedly stroked the black curls.
'Talking about Sirius. How did he get back in the mix?' James cocked his head. 'You know. Since we all, or at least Lily..' He ignored her insulted protest 'thought he was a Death Eater and such.'
'I'm not sure. The phone rang when Fenrir and Regulus were there. I heard Sirius' voice. He tried to contact me for some reason. Then everything got weird. I slammed Fenrir into the wall. The phone broke. We started fighting. I had it under control. Fenrir unconscious and Regulus too scared to do anything. Then I heard a terrifying shout outside. I stunned Regulus to prevent he'd chance his mind or do something stupid out of fear and ran outside. Orion Black was standing in the middle of the street. Sirius was lying at his feet.
A short silence.
'And not for a second you doubted whether it was a trick to get you closer?'
Remus finally tore his gaze from Sirius and stared at Lily.
'He used the Cruciatus curse, Lily. On his own son.'
James cursed, Lily gasped and clapped her hand over her mouth. Then James, slowly and seriously turned his head towards his wife.
'Lily. Please.' But Lily had already pulled out her wand, kneeled next to the three men and started mumbling spells.
With a pull Sirius flew away from the situation, seeing all four grow smaller and smaller until they disappeared and he landed back on his chair. He stared at the glowing mist, seeing their faces circle around in it. Remus had fought for him.. This. Everything. It made sense now.
'Do you have any questions left?' Remus quietly asked. Was he afraid of accusation from Sirius' side? There was no need. He had had every right to be suspicious. In fact, once again Sirius was surprised at the trust Remus had placed in him. Sure. He hesitated. But not for a second had he doubted that saving Sirius' life would be the good thing to do. So he shook his head.
'No. This is good. For now.' He looked up at Remus and could feel himself falling in love with those caring eyes all over again. Then he realized he never had been willing to let go of Remus. 'I wanted to come back to you, you know. But I thought you hung up on me and never wanted to see me again.'
'Yet you came back.' Remus whispered and Sirius nodded. 'Why?'
Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but couldn't. Remus seemed to understand.
'Accio wand.' He mumbled while flicking his own. Another wand came soaring through the air and landed in his hand. He handed it to Sirius. 'I think you'd like this back.' Then he gave the pensieve a quick look. 'And perhaps you can show me.'
'I don't know how.' Sirius frowned as he stared at the pensive too.
'Just focus.' Remus smiled encouraging and took hold of Sirius' hand, bringing it to his temple.
'What if I blow my brain to bits? That wouldn't be very grateful after you just saved my frickin' life.'
Remus chuckled.
'You won't blow your mind to bits. Trust me.'
To his surprised, Sirius could feel the sensation of something cloudy touching the side of his head as he extracted a thin sliver of silver, hardly thicker than a hair. Carefully, afraid to somehow drop it, he brought it to the bowl. The moment his wand touched the surface, the memory started to take shape. Remus didn't enter the memory as he had done but just bowed over the vision, holding onto the bowl with both hands and stared at it. Instead of looking at the memory, Sirius decided to look at Remus' face. It grew more serious and grim with the second. By the time it was ended he had such a look of disgusted surprise on his face that Sirius couldn't even remember what his happy face used to look like. When the memory dimmed and Remus kept staring at the bowl for a few more seconds, Sirius wondered what to say. But Remus didn't give him a chance. He rose from his seat, pulled Sirius up with him and then closed him in a tight hug.
It was as if the room around them faded. Slowly Sirius answered the hug, wrapping his arms around the man's waist. He buried his nose in the sweater and took a deep breath. They were touching from head to though. Bliss.
'Let's not go at this rate, shall we.' Remus mumbled into his hair. 'This really is a little too much action for a relationship that I never thought possible a mere five days ago.'
'Does this mean you want me back?'
His question got answered by another short silence. He'd lost track of them by now. But Remus' answer was more than satisfying.
'Can't we just pretend you were never gone?'
Sirius smiled in the brown fabric.
'I'd like that very much.'
After what seemed hours but was probably half a minute, Sirius wriggled himself free from the hug and took a step back. He'd just realized something didn't feel right and he knew exactly what.
'What's wrong?' Remus asked. 'Don't tell me you've changed your mind.'
'I haven't. Your hand. Show it to me.'
A little reluctant Remus held it up an Sirius saw two of the fingers were in an awful anger.
'I felt like I deserved it for shouting at you like did. As a punishment for your leaving.'
'You are being ridiculous. I never left, remember?'
He grasped his wand from the table and flicked it. There was a sickening crack when bones snapped back into place.
'You should probably get some of the skeleton stuff as well. I don't want you to be in pain.'
'I'm used to worse.' Remus joked, but instantly the air between them thickened. This was the moment.
'Remus?' Sirius asked as he reached out his other hand and stroked a big scar on the hand he was holding. 'I think I can guess your other secret.'
Remus' smile left his face completely. There was a small, pained frown on his forehead and he seemed he held his breath, waiting for Sirius to drop the bomb.