Summary:
Our duo reach the Dark Moment of fiction. Then comes the dawn.
Author's note:
Do you know what the worst thing in the whole wide writing universe is? Writing fight scenes. They're the worst, Jerry, the worst! FML why did I put jungle kitties into this story? WHY?!
There was no time to brace themselves for this fight.
The cats charged in lightning quick, bouncing over the boulders that made up the uneven landscape with a frighteningly elegant ease. Rey and Kylo stood their ground where they were. The field was rocky and sloping, with rocky spires and boulders surrounded them on all sides, offering too limited visibility against the incoming threat. It was hardly an ideal place for such a vicious battle, but there was little they could do about it now.
And, just to make everything that little bit worse, time was running out by the second.
"Kylo, we need to hurry," Rey hisses, gripping her lightsaber tightly. "We need to send that damned signal before its gone and too late."
The ship could already be out of the system. Or it could be looking for them, but on the wrong planet or the wrong side of the right planet.
Kylo bares his teeth, his eyes never leaving the massive lead tiger, a King Tiger really, that was heading the charge toward them.
"Focus Rey. Think of nothing else but our decisive victory."
Rey shoots him a pointed look at the excessively Kylo Ren thing he just said, but matches his fighting stance with her own as she ignites her saber. He's right, loathe as she is to admit it, this fight is going to take all the powers and skill they have if they want to end it quickly.
There are four of them this time. Four. Three smaller ones who dart off to the side, sending Kylo and Rey standing back to back to protect themselves from any sneak attacks. The Tiger King, however, stomps directly towards them. His strides are fast but with a cocky brashness to them that Rey can't help but draw comparisons to her bondmate.
"Focus, Rey."
His hand grips hers tightly before letting go. Rey breathes, pushing aside her nerves and instinct to run, and summoning the Force into her. In front of her one of the smaller tigers darts past, leaping out of sight behind a boulder where she can sense it lurking.
The Tiger King stands before them, cocking its head to the side with its ears pressing flat down against it head. This creature even more than the others is a true beast. Absolutely massive, and Rey realizes with alarm that it's not afraid of them at all. This isn't good.
"My damned lightsaber, Rey," Kylo mutters. "Sure would have been useful right now, wouldn't it?"
Oh not now, Kylo. Now isn't the time. Even if he's right.
"Focus," she repeats right back at him.
Rocks crumble behind them. Kylo and Rey turn slowly in a circle, keeping their backs pressed to each other and. It's just them and the King now, the other three smaller tigers are gone.
No. Not gone. Out of sight. That's far, far worse.
And then a jerk of the Force and Kylo snatches Rey's saber right of out her hand. Before she can stop him, he charges forward, racing toward the King and starting the opening salvo.
The King leaps, throwing itself through the air in a path straight toward him. Kylo falls low, drawing the lightsaber up to gut him. Rey braces herself both with the Force for support and her mind for the presumably gory aftermath.
Until one of the smaller tigers pounces out of its hiding spot, almost faster than her eyes can track, and striking the back of Kylo's legs. He falls to his knees, the Tiger King landing in its pounce nearly on top of him and shaking the whole ground with its massive weight.
"Kylo!"
She shoves at the King with a blast of the Force, stunning him for just barely long enough for Kylo to roll out from under and jump back to his feet. One of the smaller tigers makes itself known, leaping into the circular field that is their battleground and trying to flank Kylo.
The King slashes out it her, trying to use its superior strength to pin her but Rey still is faster. She uses the only weapon she has, a simple wooden walking staff, to push herself off its hide and leap backwards, giving herself a small window of opportunity.
Behind her Rey senses movement, and through the grace of the Force alone she manages to dodge a sneak attack from the fourth cat as its tries to tackle her and knock her off her feet.
To the sidelines Kylo is darting and parrying now with the other two smaller cats, managing to fend them off with rapid strikes of her saber.
Fine. They could have really used two weapons for this. Provided they live, Rey will have to tell Kylo that. She'd fucked up bad.
The Tiger King swipes at her again, surging forward and then back with dazzling speed. Rey falls, tripping over her own feet in her messy attempt to dodge, and the forth tiger is on her in an instant. She slams the staff against its hide, snapping the thin piece of wood into two jagged shards. The cat howls, jumping off her, and Rey sees the edges of one of the staffs ends is tipped with bright red.
The cat whimpers, a wound on its shoulder, and the King sniffs at it before leaping at her again in retaliation.
"They can be hurt!" she shouts, rolling out of the way of its striking claws.
"I know!"
One of Kylo's two attackers is ribboned with red. Multiple wounds where Kylo had managed to get a strike in, but none enough to kill to even seriously wound the beast. If anything, injuring one of them just seems to make all the others even angrier.
"Why are they attacking us?! There has to be a reason!"
The King tries to pin her down, it's little accomplice flanking behind her. Rey shoves as hard as she can with the Force, slamming one of the two broken spikes of her staff at the head tiger's eyes.
It bites the piece of wood cleanly in half, spitting on a chunk and shooting her what can only be described as a mocking glare.
Gods, this creature is having fun with them. Literally playing with its food.
Rey tries to close the distance between her and Kylo, running from her enemies as the need to get the hell out of here, the need to somehow send that damned signal and escape these monsters, starts to overwhelm her sense of reason.
Claws strike at the back of her legs, cutting through both fabric and flesh effortlessly.
Rey howls in pain, spinning around. Her saber flies back into her hands, either thrown by Kylo or summoned back to its owner by the Force itself.
The fight dissolves then into a messy sequences of charging and counters, Rey striking the King or one of the smaller beasts when she can but more often barely managing to hold them back herself.
Above it all, in the back of her mind, Rey can still sense that ship. They have to hurry. This could be their only chance.
The cats change tactics then, as both sides seem to reach a standstill. The Tiger King trades places with the two beasts menacing Kylo. Now Rey has three of her own to deal with.
They're fast. She's faster. Barely. Blood is drawn, both hers and there, but this can't continue. She simply is outnumbered.
The tigers circle her, diving forward or leaping and swiping. It takes every bit of her concentration to hold all of them off, then she feels a sharp pain through her shoulder. Not her own pain, but a reflected hurt.
"Kylo!"
The great cat, the giant Tiger King, has Kylo pinned underneath him. His massive paws are scratching at him, trying to slice right though her bondmate's throat but Kylo is so far able to hold him with the strength of the Force.
Around her the three cats circle hungrily, watching and waiting for the moment to finish this fight.
Kylo cries out, the Tiger King's claws finally breaching through his Force defenses and leaving a bloody wound on his shoulder that sinks through fabric and skin and muscle nearly down to the bone. Rey feels it like it's her own, and Kylo's pain sharpens her connection to the Force. She channels it inside of her, pushing it out all at once like a tidal wave that physically throws her three circling attackers back several meters.
Kylo tries to match her move, shoving the King back but barely enough for him to scramble backwards from underneath the temporarily stunned apex predator.
This may be their only chance to get away. They need to end this now.
"Kylo!"
Rey deactivates her lightsaber and throws it through the air for him to catch in perfect symmetry. Deja vu indeed. The lightsaber flies, arching straight into his reaching palm.
Only to be snatched out from mid air by the Tiger King.
The great cat leaps up, catching it in its jaws. And then he swallows.
For a moment all time seems to stop. Rey gapes, watching as the physical lump of her weapon passes down the beasts throat.
The King shivers suddenly, his whole upper body trembling violently and his tail lashing from side to side. The other three tigers freeze, watching their leader intently.
Then he belches, burping with a loud roar, as Kylo and Rey stare at him in open-mouthed astonishment.
Did- Did he just-
"Did he just eat my lightsaber?!"
It was the end of all things. The worst thing that could have possibly happened. It was simply impossible.
"Hey!" Kylo shouts as the King straightens and starts to leap away. "Get back here so we can kill you!"
Using the force, he picks up a skull sized boulder and hurls it at the retreating monarch. He misses completely, the other three tigers growling parting insults as they follow their leader, bounding and jumping over the boulders.
Rey is still frozen to the spot, gaping at the retreating tiger butts until all four have disappeared from sight.
Kylo mutters a long, pain filled litany of insults. He rests his hands on his knees, crimson red tricking down from his wounded shoulder. Rey hurries over to him then, her own battle injuries flaring up painfully now that the immediate fight or flight chaos has ended.
"Rey… we're doomed."
He looks up at her with far more than physical pain in his eyes. That's when the full weight of what just happened hits her.
The cat ate her lightsaber.
It ate it.
That was their only weapon. Their only way to make the signal powerful enough to maybe, maybe be heard by that ship.
It was over. He was right. They were doomed. This can't be fixed.
Rey falls to her knees, all the will leaving her body in an instant.
They were trapped here now. Forever.
Rey was moping and Kylo was angry.
That was the way they had both chosen to handle their feelings. Everything they had fought so hard for had been taken away in an instant, and nobody, Jedi or aspiring Sith or not, could have possibly predicted things would have gone down that way.
For those first few horrible moments, everything had seemed lost.
"I'm going to die on this planet."
Rey shrugs off Kylo's attempt to wrap his arm around her as they hurried down, away from the cats and away from what might have been. The sunset is beautiful, shading the sky with a brilliant rainbow of glow. This was supposed to be their last one, not just the first of many more.
"No, Rey, you won't."
Her rejection of his touch hurts him. She can feel it. They match, her everything hurts.
"I hate this planet. I hate it here so much."
"You're being a child."
That earns him a dark glare. Kylo swallows and looks down, consoling himself with holding her hand and not letting go even when she tries to wrench it away.
"I hate it here," she repeats, stumbling over rocks and sticks as stumbling slightly as her vision starts to get blurry with unshed tears.
Kylo catches her. Steadies her. In this light he almost glows with battle fever. She doesn't know how he still has the energy to fight.
"No, Rey, you don't."
"He ate my lightsaber. How did he eat my lightsaber? This sort of thing shouldn't exist."
Kylo doesn't answer her, but he does sling their satchel of their remaining supplies down hard against the ground. Rey winces and wants to reprimand him, but what would be the point? It would just lead to another fight between them, and what good is that worthless piece of metal if they have nothing to power it with?
"We should toss it," she says, collapsing against a moss covered rock and not caring that it's making the butt of her pants damp. "It's dead weight now."
"Keep it. We might use it still."
Kylo paces tightly. She can feel the anger within him, coiling inside him like a serpent ready to strike.
"How?" she asks quietly.
They had ran from the tigers, hurrying into a deep canyon that ran alongside the hill where the fight had taken place. Now, without a proper weapon beyond the pointed spears Rey was making, their odds at another attack had tipped very much out of their favor.
"Kylo?" she asks again when he doesn't answer. "Are you mad at me?"
If he is, she gets it, reluctantly. If he had kept his saber… the crystal in it was cracked. It wouldn't have been stable enough to use int heir transmitter. Crying over spilled milk, that would be, to quote her master's master.
"You're upset."
"So are you."
Kylo stops pacing. He stands still, staring up into the sky. There's a ship out there somewhere, but that makes their loss all the more cruel.
"Rey… they may still find us."
It's her turn not to answer. Rey closes her eyes and reaches out. Tries to feel out and above. It's quiet. Too far away.
"Our ships, Rey. They're dead in the water but they're still up there somewhere, presumably floating slowly through the depth of space, provided they didn't hit anything. Maybe someone will find them."
A tightness fills her chest at the thought. Someone else taking the Millennium Falcon… it's a piece of junk, but not to her. They'd probably just scavenge it for scrap metal.
Kylo's hand comes to her shoulder. He tries to rub her reassuringly, but Rey refuses to open her eyes or she might start crying,.
"You're upset," he repeats.
Rey feels a change in him. He's pulling back on his own anger for her.
Oh. So that's what that was about. He was angry that she was so devastated. That's rather unfair of him, but she supposes true to his character.
"Rey."
She feels the air move as he kneels next to her. His gloved hand touches her cheek, his thumb wiping away the proof that she's losing this battle within her as well.
"Rey… we'll be alright. Everything will be alright."
He's trying to pacify her. It's all such a lie.
She opens her eyes to look at him and her vision is blurry. She hates that too, on top of everything else.
"How, Kylo? We're trapped here now. No one's going to find us. Maybe they find our ships, but not us. They don't know where we are and they probably wouldn't care either."
This Kylo doesn't deny, because he cant. Rey frowns when a dark look crosses his face and he shuts her out of his side of their connection.
"What are you thinking, Kylo? I don't trust you when you look like that."
He bows his head, then, taking his eyes away from her as well. Guilt. He's blaming himself for this.
The wind picks up, sweeping his hair across his face. It hides the outline of his scar and Rey has to fight hard not to reach out and embrace him. They need each other now, but they also both need their space. It's a conundrum cruel irony.
"Rey," he says quietly, "there are worse things than spending a lifetime here with me, aren't there?"
Rey almost whines, his pain reflecting into her so strongly that she has no choice but to give in. She threads her fingers through his hair and slides it back off his face in the way that he likes. He still won't look at her. A well scolded child and no, this wasn't his fault. It was the fate of the universe itself that did this to them.
"Everything happens for a reason."
Another pearl of wisdom from Master Luke. Judging from the deep frown etching itself between his eyebrows, Kylo knows just as well where that sentiment is coming from.
"Kylo," she tries again, sliding off the rock to sink down onto her knees next to him. "You were right. We'll be alright. Somebody else will come some day. We weren't the first visitors to this planet and we won't be the last. Let's hold onto that."
Keep the faith alive. Keep the hope alive.
"So you're not going to leave now?"
He looks so damn young when he stares at her like that, all big eyes and open feelings.
Rey huffs, shaking her head at the ridiculous man she's become so entangled with.
"Where the hell am I going to go? Back into the caves. Never ever again. We're in this together now, Kylo."
His eyes brighten up at that. His whole expression perking up like a loyal dog that's just been praised.
No. Too far. She still needs to set her boundaries lest he gets any more ideas about declaring things at her.
"We're together at least until you piss me off, I should say. Than it's vamoose with you, you can go be kitty kibble for all I'll care."
There's no bite of truth to her words and they both know. Kylo snorts, nodding, and pulls her into his arms. He rest his chin on top of her head and Rey snuggles close. Strictly to prevent the chill from the evening, of course.
"About those cave… I had a thought."
"Oh gods," she huffs, bracing herself. "Don't ever think Kylo. You're so terribly bad at that."
His breath tickles her forehead and she snuggles deeper into his chest in case he has some idea about kissing her right now. She's not in the mood. Well, maybe she is in the mood, but her sudden constant need for him is inappropriate right now.
"We will need a lightsaber," he says. "There is still a wealth of Kyber down there. Maybe, tomorrow or soon, we could find an easy to access source. Go in, mark out way well, and get a large piece. Use the components of the transmitter to make a housing for it and turn it into a new blade."
Rey isn't really listening to him. Her focus is on the rhythm of his heartbeat against her ear.
"You've thought about this, too, haven't you?"
He hums, kissing her temple before pulling away.
"It's an idea. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. But at least it gives us something to do."
Rey pauses, then nods.
"Sure. Why not? It's a lot better than my plan."
"You had a plan, Rey? Are you sure? Because you're terribly bad at those."
"Kriff off. Asshole. But, um… my plan was to… follow the tigers."
"Was there a second part to this plan I hope?" he asks, offering her his hand to help her to her feet.
Rey blushes. She rarely does, but sometimes when she gets embarrassed enough the warmth and color peeps through.
"Yeah, we would follow them and… wait till they poop and get the kyber crystal back that way."
Kylo stares down at her, his expression flickering between amusement and almost cartoonish disapproval.
"Rey, that was-"
"Yeah yeah, I know. Your's is the better idea. Fine. Let's go make camp, it's getting cold."
It is. The sky is turning into that deep, imperial purple it does at the early onset of night. Without their lightsabers, they won't have a way to make a fire.
"Guess we'll just have to keep each other warm then," Kylo offers, a hint of that Solo swagger making its way into his step as they search for a suitable place to roll out their bedding.
Rey rolls her eyes, fully aware that he was once again in her head. This time however, just for this time, she finds that she doesn't truly mind.
That night, despite being safely wrapped up tight in the arms of her other half, Rey can feel something in her bones.
The feeling from earlier. It's come back. A threat. A pull. A warning.
She can't describe it or define it, but she can feel it. it's there and it's not going away. It hovers over her mind like a miasma. A cloud of fog that won't let her shut it up no matter how hard she tries to tell herself that they're safe. They're fine.
There is no boogeyman beyond four hungry tigers and the rational fears in her own head.
Kylo is on edge as well. They don't talk much, but not because there isn't anything to say. With so many threats mounting forces against them, the fear of the unknown has to be the worst of all.
"It's going to all be okay, Rey. I meant that." He holds her close as her thoughts she must have been broadcasting start to make her shiver.
"Do you feel that?" she asks.
"Yes."
This new part of the jungle where they had emerged is cooler th n the sweltering damp from before. Last night they had kept each other warm through vigorous sex. Tonight they're swaddled in all that they have to swaddle with. If they're going to stay here and make this planet their home, they're going to have to figure themselves out. In more ways than one, actually.
Rey reaches out with the Force, trying to find the root cause of her unease. All she can sense is Kylo. He's blanketing her mind protectively, somehow both comporting her and suffocating her with his need to protect.
"Do you think that ship is coming? Is that what this is about? Maybe it sensed us when we used the Varn stone?"
Rey doesn't try to hide the blind, stupid hope in her voice. Kylo in turn doesn't try to hide his curious aversion to getting the hell off this rock.
"You really want to leave so badly, don't you?"
His arms tighten until Rey has to elbow him to get him to let up. So needy. So clingy. So hers.
"I hate it here," she repeats, dropping her head back onto the crook of his bent arm that had been serving as her pillow.
"No you don't, Rey. I know you. You don't hate it here, or at least not really."
"Presumptuous much?"
Ass.
"Truthful."
She breathes. He breathes. They don't speak again for many minutes. Sleep comes to neither of them.
Then Kylo kisses her temple and a smile curls on her lips.
There he is. Kylo Ren, the great Supreme Leader in the flesh. Except he looks nothing like that at all, does he? He looks like Ben, a scarred, hole-hearted rendition of the man who once was Ben.
His eyes are closed and he's still reaching, still trying to do what they're supposed to do which is think of a way to get out here. Rey takes advantage of this moment, of his distraction, to really reflect on how they both came to be here.
Kylo had crashed into her ship, then destroyed it. Livid hadn't even been the right word to describe how she had felt about that. But then, if he hadn't been such a cocky, arrogant, short sighted little shit… they would never have had these recent moments of bliss between them.
He had brought them together. This planet had been the catalyst. In spite of everything, these last few days with him have been the happiest in her whole life.
That thought makes it a little hard to breathe, her chest not wanting to untighten enough to allow her to take in air properly.
Rey?
"It's nothing," she whispers, dropping her stinging eyes back down to their interlocked hands.
Gods how she doesn't want to leave him. She wants… somehow. Impossible. It doesn't stop her, though.
"What's wrong?"
His fingers stroke her knuckles. Rey grips the Varn stone that she had fashioned into a pendant. She holds it to her chest as she steadies herself.
"Maybe we'll get rescued," she says, her voice as soft as the moment they're sharing. "Maybe this will be our last night here."
Kylo's emotions burst through a crack in his mind like a sunflare, surprising her with just how strongly he's been feeling everything but hiding her from the brunt of them.
His mind is reeling, and Rey doesn't get it. Why? Why is he suddenly so upset?
He clears his throat before he speaks and Rey draws in a breath and holds it while she waits.
"Rey, I haven't asked very much of you."
She shakes her head. It's ludicrous. He's such an irrational man.
"Kylo, you've asked everything of me."
And she's given it to him. Piece by piece, she's given him almost all that she has to offer.
"I suppose. But now I'm going to ask you for one thing more."
Rey turns her head to look at him. His face is hidden in shadow and tinted blue with reflected moonlight. She pushes a beat into his head, letting him know that she's listening and waiting.
"Rey, don't leave me alone. If it comes down to it, if we are going to be separated, kill me if you have to, but don't ever leave me again."
A day ago there had been hope. Hours ago there had been despair. Now Rey doesn't have a clue what she's feeling, but his words are bringing up something very deep in her.
"You've been hearing my thoughts," she says quietly.
"I told you Rey, I know you. You keep thinking it. Wondering how you're going to leave me. How you can make me let you go. You can't. It's that simple. So don't even try. Don't put us through that. Promise me that you won't leave me, Rey. Please."
It wasn't until right at this moment that Rey had realized just how far he'd worked his way under her skin. It should be an agonizing decision. It should tear her apart.
But it doesn't. Rey can answer him with a clear mind and absolute certainty.
"Yes, Kylo. I promise."
He turns her so she laying on her back and his arms form a cage around her head.
"Say it again, Rey. Swear it to me."
She swallows. As deep as this moment is, she can't help but think that here she is, pinned underneath him. It can be a fun place to be.
"I swear. I won't leave you. We'll find a way to make whatever happens work."
"You'll turn your back on the Resistance then?"
Rey shakes her head. Only a few days ago she would have gotten angry at him for that. Thought that he'd been setting her up all along. Now she knows him, too. He's talking without thinking. Hoping without reason.
"Will you leave the First Order for me, Supreme Leader?"
His turn to shake his head.
"No."
An impasse as always.
"Then we'll find another way. Or maybe we'll be here forever and grow old and die together on this planet. Maybe, if a ship comes for us, we'll tell them to go to hell."
He smiles. She smiles back.
"You like that idea, don't you Kylo?"
"Maybe I've been waiting for you to say that too."
Despite the threat hanging in in the air, Rey feels weightless with happiness. This is all she needed to say. It's done now.
Or maybe not quite.
"Do you know what else I want, Kylo?"
She reaches up and strokes his face, her fingertips finding the line of his scar which crinkles under her touch as his smile grows.
"For me to shag you silly, you insatiable jungle wench?"
She flicks the center of his forehead.
"Okay, now never call me that ever again. That's for starters."
"And for the main course?"
If the air around them is cold Rey has absolutely no idea, because shes' starting to feel pretty damned warm down here underneath him.
"Now you shut up and get to work."
She yanks on his hair, bringing their lips crashing together and letting their passions take over.
This time their lovemaking is more tender. She lets Kylo undress her at his own pace. Take his time to unwrap her and sample her. Please every inch of her, using his mouth or his hands or both to worship her body from head to toe.
Then he uses his mouth on her and Rey can't even remember her own name, let alone why the hell she had been so upset just a few minutes ago. Who cares if they're trapped here forever? That just gives them more time to have sex and cuddle. Best of both worlds.
"I only want to make you happy," he tells her as she recovers from her first climax.
And it's true. Rey knows that it is. He's always been an open book to her, she realizes, but only now has she taken the time to read it.
"Make love to me," she moans, opening her legs for him and guiding him to settle between them.
Kylo kisses her deeply as he takes her, barely pulling his lips away from her own long enough for her to take in a shaky, needy breath. Her fingers sink into the flesh on his back, only half being mindful of the injuries the great cats had caused him.
He doesn't mind at all, not in the slightest. While Rey would have been perfectly fine with a pounding pace leading up into an explosive climax, literally in his case, he chooses a deeper rhythm like he's trying to fuck her very soul.
Maybe it's working.
She can feel him in her heart now, a connection being forged far deeper than their bond through the Force. She's not going to call it by the only thing it surely must be, but she can show him with her body how she feels about him tonight.
"Look at me," he tells her, both his hands cradling her face as they rock together.
Rey has to force her eyes open, so wrapped up in the spirals of pleasure he was coaxing her down.
His eyes tell her everything he said to her once before. Rey leans up and kisses him because she can't offer him her own heart in return. Not yet, at least. Maybe some day.
"I can live with that," he murmurs.
One of his hands moves down and Rey grins, eagerly bucking her hips up and sinking more of his length into herself. Her mind starts to spin as he strokes her nerve-filled button, pleasure so sharp it threatens to overcome all her senses beyond what he's making her feel.
"Why is it like this?" she gasps, her body starting to climb to a peak again. "Why is this so good? Is… is it because you were my first? Is that why I can't get enough of this?"
Can't get enough of him, she means to say. Not at all, but feeling this much pleasure at the hands of her enemy is so much better than she could have ever imagined.
"No, Rey." He pinches her nub and she has to bite into his shoulder to hold back her scream. "I may have been your first, but I'm also going to be your last."
Rey nods, not sure of what she's agreeing to, but it all sounds so nice, doesn't it?
She tries to keep her eyes open for him then, because it's what he wanted. She wants to give him everything he wanted. A thank you for putting up with her just like she's had to put up with him.
When they come, they come together. Rey is first, the tight spasms of pleasure rolling through her body bringing him with her only moments later. She loves the face he makes as he fills her. Parts pain, pleasure, devotion, and worship all rolled up into one.
She doesn't want this moment to end, so she holds on tight to him even when they're both done. Their arms and legs tangle together as they kiss, both their bodies sweaty and sticky but neither of them care.
Rey feels the second their baby is conceived, but she doesn't fully understand it until a moment later.
She knew that something had happened, but it took her mind two complete thoughts to realize the full impact.
The first thought was very much one of confusion and an alarming sense of "what is that strange feeling?".
The second was spontaneous recognition. She was pregnant. This concept flowing seamlessly into a sudden and all-consuming need to hide it at all cost from the father.
The father who just so happened to be still inside her and had caught onto the edges of her revelation by the time she'd reached thought three: what they hell is she going to do now?
Kylo pulls away from her then, his eyes wide and full of absolute shock.
Rey tries to cover it up. Tries to slam the barricades to her mind shut but of course it's far too late by then.
"Rey!"
He doesn't so much shout it as choke it.
She was pregnant.
That didn't just happen. She was mistaken.
But she wasn't and it had.
Oh… gods.
"You didn't want me to know."
Kylo's stunned voice is laced with sudden pain. Rey pushes at his chest, needing to get him out of her as her mind skips steps and threatens to stall completely.
He stares at her, unmoving and grasping at their suddenly quiet connection.
"Get off me," she says, pushing harder until he gets the hint.
"Why didn't you want me to know?"
He sounds so hurt. Rey grits her teeth as he slides out, a warm trickle leaving her along with him.
This shouldn't… this…
"What have we just done?" she asks out loud.
Kylo doesn't answer. He watches silently as shock rolls through her. Rey can't think. Can't even form a sentence in her mind.
Out of pure natural instinct, her hands come down to press against her lower stomach. This wasn't a dream. This was real. This really just happened.
"Rey."
His hand falls over hers and she looks at him. He feels it, too. She knows he does.
Panic is the next, natural emotion. It hits her hard, making her scramble to her feet.
"Kylo!"
She doesn't know what she's trying to say to him. She doesn't know much of anything right now other than theyshould have been more careful.
She may be a wreck, but Kylo seems oddly calm about all of this. He watches her quietly as she struggles to put on her clothes, fumbling in the near-darkness with the intricacies and clasps of his shirt which she still has to wear.
Then she comes to a standstill, her brief panic-laden tantrum running it course. She even lets him embrace her, though it's hardly a sweet or romantic gesture since he's naked and still half-hard and she's a teary-eyed wreck who's probably wearing her clothing on backwards.
"You're smiling," she says, spitting it like an accusation as she twists around in his iron grip.
"I'm astonished, Rey."
"Put some clothes on," she says, trying to draw away.
"Why?"
Rey yanks her hands free of his and snatches up his clothing. She shoves it against his chest and backs up, hugging herself. Kylo still is smiling, watching her with open-eyed wonder as he dresses.
"Stop that," she snaps, starting to pace. "Stop looking so happy."
This is a dream. This has to be a dream. Maybe this whole thing. Maybe none of it had really happened.
Kylo laughs then. A foreign and purely happy sort of sound that she's never heard from him before.
"But I am happy, Rey. And so are you."
Happy? How can she be when she feels so disconnected? It's like she watching herself when she mediates, except now it's the first foundations of a new life that she's seeing.
Kylo seizes her from behind, hugging her again and this time Rey grows limp as numbness sets in. From Kylo's side of the bond she can feel his surprise give way to rising excitement.
"Kylo."
Stop being you. Just stop being you.
"Rey… be happy along with me. Please."
Rey sucks in a a shaky breath. The planet must be running out of oxygen. She must be hallucinating. That is what's really happening. She's just losing her mind, that's all.
"How the hell can you be so calm about this?!"
Yes. Losing her mind. That would be fine. Infinitely better than having a… than going through this alone on a jungle world.
"Rey, my girlfriend is pregnant. I'm going to be a father. I'm happy but I need you to be too."
Rey can't even contradict him on the obvious oversight of him calling her his 'girlfriend'. She places her head in her hands, choking back another erratic breath, then claws her fingers through her hair in an effort to ground herself.
"Maybe it's not yours," she mutters through tightly clenched teeth. "Maybe I'll make you take a paternity test."
Kylo laughs then. Rey isn't sure whether she wants to scream or cry or join him.
This has all happened so fast.
Too fast. She need space. She needs to clear her head and come to terms with this.
"I need a few minutes alone."
His arms tighten and she feels him shake his head.
"Kylo… Please."
"You're going to run away again. You're going to take my baby and run away."
Baby. Gods, that word sounds so strange. Rey much prefers to think of what's going on inside her body with of the abstract and medically correct terminology that appropriately distances her from the truth.
"Don't be a karking idiot, Kylo. I meant it when I said I was going to stay with you, no matter what. I'm not going anywhere. Except… over there." She points at a dark spanse of shadows where she can cry and freak out and he won't be able to see her. "Let go of me."
"You're upset."
He sounds surprised. His arms slacken, though, enough for her to step out of them.
"Of course I'm upset, Kylo. This wasn't planned. This is a… what if there's a problem? What if I need help? We're trapped here, Kylo. Anything could happen."
She turns to face him and any trace of his previous joy is gone. Replaced by deeply etched concern.
"Oh you hadn't thought about that, had you? You're already picking out baby names and you hadn't even thought that I'm going to have to go through something, have you?"
Rey can't help but lash out even if she knows she shouldn't. They're both handling this in their own ways, just that his happens to be the most obnoxious and unsupportive way she absolutely doesn't need right now.
Kylo bends down to kiss the top of her trembling head. Rey's mind is ringing with a million different thoughts but she allows him this. His hands go to her shoulders than up and over her head.
"Don't go far," he whispers, stepping back.
Rey turns and walks to the edge of the canyon where the shadows are the deepest and waits for the tears to come. They don't.
Deep inside her she can feel… something. Something different and terrifying and powerful. Something that she will have to make peace with very quickly. A fission that will so soon become a living organism she has to somehow care for and find a way to keep alive.
And she has to do it here. Here on a planet that changes with every breath. A planet that fogs her brain with its pure energy. It's not safe to have a child here. There's so much they will have to do. To prepare for.
But what if this is the best place? Truth be told, the fruit of the union of a Jedi and the Supreme Leader will never be safe anywhere. Perhaps here, on the very ends of the universe, it might be the best place after all.
And yet… what if something goes wrong?
It could happen. Easily. And she would never forgive herself and neither would Kylo.
So… what does that leave her with? The decision is clear after all. She has to get them out of here. All of them.
Find a way. There must be a way. But does she even want it? Does she even want any of this?
These are the thoughts that keep her pacing. Keep her mind swirling and swirling until the heaviest, most oppressive of aches fills her head with pain and her soul with such weariness.
But, true to her word, she comes back to him. Goes back to Kylo, ready to crawl back into his arms and sleep forever. If she never has to wake up, she never has to face the truths that await her.
Except Kylo was up to his own plans while she had been prowling in the shadows.
When she returns to him, the stone of Varn is in his hands, glowing bright green. He had taken it from her, slyly pulled her necklace away and her mind had been in too many pieces for her to even notice such a trivial thing.
"Kylo?" she asks, her suspicions rising. "What in the hells are you doing?"
He opens his eyes. Meditating, it would seem, but she wants to hear it from his own lips.
"I will take care of you, Rey. Both of you. You made a promise to me, and now I'm making this to the two of you."
The pressure in her mind suddenly lifts and Rey realizes too late that it hadn't been her shock at all that had been fogging her brain. It had been him. Kylo had been hiding something from her and hiding it so well she hadn't had even a clue.
"What are you-"
"Look up."
He stands, closing the distance. Rey snatches the Varn stone out of his hand and drops it over her head, cradling it protectively to her chest. This is hers, godsdamnit. Whatever he's up to now, he doesn't get to just take one of her only mementos and do whatever he pleases with it.
And then she feels it again. That disturbance in the Force. She had forgotten completely about it, but now it's suddenly gotten louder.
Kylo's hands fall onto her yet again and Rey turns in his arms to look up at him. He is staring at the sky, his face completely emotionless.
For a moment Rey doesn't see it. Then she does. A glow in the clouds. A light beyond the moon and it's getting bigger.
"The ship. You called it."
Her voice is thin. Confused. Lost. His hands tighten.
"Yes."
"...but I thought you wanted to stay?"
Instead of answering, Kylo pulls her tight to him. His hand steadies the back of her head and holds her down so she can't see the light as it comes closer. It's then that she can feel wetness against her temple.
"Why are you crying?" she whispers, suddenly caring far less about their impending rescue then she had moments before.
"I love you, Rey."
Something is wrong. All she can feel from him is agony. Why? Why is he acting like this?
She tries to make herself grow stiff in his arms. Tries to make herself reject him in some way. But she can't. Her soul won't allow her to when he's once again being torn apart, this time right within her very arms.
"Kylo-"
"No, Rey. I mean it. I love you so much. I can't be without you. I love you both so much."
Rey's heart stops beating. Or at least she feels like it does.
Her throat tightens as her mind races, trying to solve the puzzle that is the suddenly desperate man hanging on to her like it's for dear life.
"Kylo… we can talk about this-"
"I'm going to hold you to it, Rey."
His voice is harsh and choked, and it's making her own strained just as well.
He's more than afraid. She knows him better than that by now. He's terrified. This isn't like him, not at all.
The true meaning hits her all at once, striking her mind with such an impact that her legs almost buckle out from underneath her and she would have fallen if Kylo hadn't been there to catch her.
"The ship," the pieces snap together almost painfully. "You know who it is, don't you?"
Kylo nods, spreading shed tears messily into her hairline.
"I suspected yesterday before… before everything. As soon as we felt that ship I had my doubts."
Feeling starts to drain from her limbs with the weight of his words.
"It's them, isn't it? It's your side. The First Order."
Kylo presses his hand to her forehead and Rey is suddenly too weak to fight back. She begins to slump in his arms, consciousness fading softly into the distance.
She fights it. Fights him.
"You're going to take me back," she whispers as she grows weaker. "You're going to make me your prisoner."
Nothing could sting worse than his betrayal. Nothing. She hadn't seen it coming. How could she not see it coming? He was Kylo Ren, after all. She had been a fool to ever think he could be more.
"No, Rey. I'm taking you back to make you my Empress."
The world starts to grow dark. She hadn't been ready to defend herself. Hadn't been ready for him to turn on her like this.
"Kylo..."
In the distance she thinks she can hear the roar of an engine. Or perhaps it's the blood rushing from her head as the Force Sleep begins to overtake her.
"I will take care of you, Rey. I promise."
He picks her up in his arms, lifting her like she's nothing. Rey feels like nothing. Dullness and dimness and the Force so muted she might as well be shut off from it.
His last words stick with her, though, echoing through her mind until she completely falls under his spell and everything fades to black.
Forgive me.
author's note:
:P
Yay, Reylo baby on the way!
By far and leaps and bounds, Rey getting oven-bunned was the absolute most requested trope for this fic, so how could I leave it out? And yes, Spokane, I'm putting this in here for you. If their gray Reylo baby takes after Anakin and tries to destroy the galaxy when he or she grows up, we all know who to blame ;)
But, seriously, I had to do it. I'd been hinting at it since the sex pollen scene. Formula of nonstop sex, not pulling out, and more nonstop sex = had to happen sometime, right?
But now what's Rey going to do? Her studmuffin baby daddy just turned on her and kidnapped her. Take mommy and baby back to the First Order? Yeah, not going to happen without one hell of a fight from Rey. Only one more chapter to go now, too, so I'd better get to work figuring out how this is all going to get resolved quick!
next chapter: Kylo done fucked up. What's his shiney, brand new baby momma gonna do about it? The answer's simple: fight tooth and nail for her new family.
comment replies:
pobrediabla – I'm so glad you liked the last chapter! Honeymoon's definitely over now, though! Kylo is going to be in some crazy hot water when Rey wakes up, that's for sure.
Thank you as always for commenting and sticking with this story! Only one chapter plus and epi left now so I hope you check them out when they're ready! 33
sydkiwi – Yep, the kitties came and they sure were hungry! Did you guess that their meal would be the lightsaber though! I though ti made a nice symmetry: Kylo lost his saber because Rey threw it, Rey lost hers because Kylo threw it. Now they're on even footing. And I'd been hinting that the cats are attracted to them whenever they use the Force (like honing in on them when they were meditating with the transmitter) so of course the Cat King would go after a tasty nugget of concentrated energy, right!
Anyhow, as always, thanks so much for commenting! 3
Shestoolazytologin – Rey came this close to telling Kylo she's in… well, she's head over heels for him. So close. And then he went and fucked it up so bad and captured her! The kitties had a big role in this chapter too, even if it wasn't the longest they served a major part in setting up this final conflict. Only one chapter left now so I hope you check it out when it's ready! My deadline is Friday the 25th at the latest because I'm going camping and off the grid for 2 weeks after that so look for it then! Thanks so much for commenting! :D
carissarae – I'm so glad you like this story! Rey was very close to admitting her feelings for Kylo, and then this chapter happened! And, of course, now she's knocked up which was kinda inevitable considering the way they've been going at it non stop.
Thanks for commenting and I hope you check out the last chapter when it goes up! :)
kfulmer7 – Well they've been having a lot of hot fun and look where it got them: knocked up and at each other's throats again. But at least they're going to make it off the planet, right? Maybe, maybe not, but Rey is deficiently going to be in full on Jedi Warrior mode when she wakes up!
Thanks so much (as always!) for commenting! 3
Missing A Muse – Haha, sorry about this chapter! Definitely some angst and a cliffhanger going on here! Only one more chapter to go, but I promise a reasonably happy ending, I swear! 3