Disclaimer: Do pigs fly? Nope. Is my name Stephenie Meyer? Nope. Is Twilight mine? Nope. There you have it.
AN: Okay so I was going to wait for the reviews before I put this chapter up, but I'm too impatient and I wanted to get at least two chapters up today for TwilightLover15. So here it is and I mean it this time I want reviews!!
Chapter 20
I had no idea why I had just accepted his invitation but I did know that I had a sudden impulse to get to know him and stay at his side—for now at least. I wanted to know why those beautiful eyes held so much pain and torture and why he was here—was it some weird act of fate that brought him into my life right when I needed someone. What would Edward do in this situation? Dan wanted me to stay and that was it for now.
I initially decided to only stay for two days so that I could find what I had set out for but two days just didn't seem enough—even without sleep. We did activities as a group and also walk with just Dan and myself. This family was really growing on me—they all seemed to start and look on me like a younger sister—and I wasn't sure if I could just leave them yet.
"So, have you decided yet?" Dan randomly asked as we took yet another walk alone through the peaceful little village that we had met in.
"Decided what?" I wasn't quite sure what he was asking, I had a lot of decisions to make and knew of most of them—I was very open with him for some reason that I could not comprehend.
"What this Edward guy means? Whether he is one of your answers?" Please can we go back to the conversation on the weather I pleaded in my head. Of course he was the answer but I couldn't tell him that—I didn't want to offend him or upset him in anyway.
"I don't know to be honest. Of course he is going to be the answer to the majority of this—he's my life, I'm empty without him. But he needs time so I don't really want to betray him by barging in and demanding that he gets over it and go back to how we were. I'm a physical reminder of his pain so it's not going to be easy for him."
"That's not true you know."
"What's not true? Are you calling me a liar?"
"No I'm definitely not calling you a liar. It's just that you said that you are empty without him and your not. You're here and you're a very full person. So maybe you don't need him as much as you think."
"I do need him. Without him I am a meaningless existence. I don't know what to do with myself. Granted I have found you and your brothers and become more awake than I have in a long time but this isn't me—I'm not whole. There's so much that you don't even know about me so how can you say that I am not empty? You haven't seen me when he is in my life so you don't know the difference. I need him back. I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand." I turned to walk away but just as he had that day that I found myself in his arms, he put a hand on my shoulder and pulled me back to him.
"Someone like me? What do you mean by that? How do you know that I wouldn't understand? You don't know me either." The pain that was usually in his eyes had been replaced with anger and betrayal.
"You haven't been through what Edward and I have so how can you possibly begin to understand. Someone like you—someone so closed minded, selfish and obnoxious! No I don't know you and I don't think I want to either. I know enough to know that you judge too quickly and jump to conclusions that aren't yours to make. Maybe you should just stay out of my business."
"Okay then I will. If I'm all those things then why you hanging round? No one forced you to stay."
"I'm not 'hanging' round. I'm going to go back to yours now, get my things, say goodbye to your brothers and then I'm gone. Have a good life!" This time he let me go, I carried on walking even though I heard him call after me.
"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean it. You have this affect on me. I think I'm falling for you." As soon as the last four words were out of his mouth I stopped still in my tracks. He couldn't have meant it. He didn't know me. He'd only known me four days.
"Go home Daniel" Was all I replied—I couldn't let him make things anymore complicated. To make things faster, I imagined myself back in the room that I was staying in at Dan's house, and blinked.
I gathered all of my things, shoved them in the little backpack that I had bought in the village shop two days ago. I ran down the stairs towards the front door when I heard a wave of laughter coming from the kitchen. I went to investigate—it was only the boys, with the exception of Dan; he would still be in the village. They were accompanied by, what looked like at a quick glance, a small woman. When I looked twice I realized that it was Alice. Why couldn't she just let me do this my own way?
"Alice" I shocked myself with the detached voice that I greeted her in.
"Oh sis, don't be like that, I'm here to help you. We're going to find Edward." As much as I wanted to, I had to do this alone—just as I had told her when I spoke to her last. I had to lie my way out of this.
"Alice I can't go." I couldn't keep eye contact with her—if I did she would know instantly that I was lying.
"Please do enlighten me. Why you are inconvenienced to go and find the love of your life?" Wow, when did she get all intellectual?
"He asked me to stay away and besides I've found a new family. I'm not replacing you guys—just bidding my time. These guys are great and they're going to help me." Her face dropped when I told her that they were my new family. I knew that I was only telling her this because I couldn't go with her to find Edward—but I felt so bad, she was going to tell the others and they would think that I betrayed their love when I haven't; I'm just trying to get by.
"Don't you love me anymore? Did I do something wrong?" How could she take all of this personally? Edward had some major making up to do when this was all over. I tore my eyes away from her and looked towards the boys who understood what I was silently asking them and filed out of the kitchen; shutting the door behind them—not that it would make a difference but it's the thought that counts. I walked over to where she was standing and pulled her petit body into my embrace. I kissed her hair and then continued.
"Alice, none of this is your fault. Of course I still love you—how can you even think that I don't? It's just with everything that's happened I think that it would be better if I found Edward on my own and in my own time. These guys will never replace you and the rest of the Cullens—not even Rosalie. You're my family, my heart and love is with you. I just need these at the moment. It's the right thing for me right now." How could I break this fragile, oversensitive pixie?
"Bella, please just come home. We can work this out. When you think its time you can go find Edward with out any of us interfering, but you need to come back—we all need you. I need you! If this is what you need then fair enough but don't stay away just because of Edward and please think about coming back anyway."
This was never going to get through to her—she was too stubborn for her own good.
"Just let me go. You can keep an eye on me,—in your own wicked way—you have my cell so you can call me whenever, and if you let me know that you need me I'll be there in an instant. I love you, don't forget it." I felt bad dragging this out so I held on to my back pack, gave Alice one last squeeze and imagined myself out of there.
I opened my eyes to find myself in his arms.