Warning: This story deals with domestic violence and the struggles to recover. If you have problems with this issue please don't read this.

Disclaimer: Ms Meyers owns Twilight and all its characters.

Big thanks to my Beta's Taloolah, dizzygirl28 and Beate73. You girls are awesome; I appreciate all the work you do for me, helping me make my stuff presentable. Love you guys.

Okay on with the story.

Moving On

EPOV

Visions of Sam filled my mind. Over and over I relived every moment I had been with him. Every slap, every punch and every kick. All the good, the bad, and the ugly playing like a motion picture on a constant loop in my mind. I couldn't find my way out; I was stuck in the black place. I kept screaming for Jake, Jasper, anyone to save me, to get me away from here, but it was never ending. Over and over and over I relived my old life. Was everything before a dream and this is my reality? Did I imagine Jake, Jasper, Alice and the Cullen's?

I don't think I could survive if that part had been the dream and this had been my reality. Was I still lying on the floor of our old place, Sam holding me too him while I bled internally.

I shifted uncomfortably as high pitched sounds reached my ears. What the fuck just happened? My mind was racing as things slowly started to come back into focus.

Dinner, Jasper, flinching, Esme. Oh no, Esme. She was going to tell them and they would all know that she killed him because of me. They would hate me for it, and what would happen to Esme? Would Jasper turn a blind eye like Jake had? And Jake - would he lose his job? My Fault.

The major problem I was having at the moment was arguing with myself. For so long I had blamed myself for everything, for others actions. When really, I knew deep down that none of this was my fault, other than staying with Sam for as long as I did. It's what the counselor in me would have told any of my clients, and in this bubble I found myself in, the voice's straining to be heard, I finally understood what Jake had been telling me all along. Everyone is responsible for their own actions and those actions have consequences.

The guilt I felt, though, that was something I couldn't shake. If I had never met these people, had never let them into my messed up life, then none of this would be happening now. And the worse part of it all was that I was thankful. I was thankful that I had met them because without them, I wouldn't have Jake.

"He's smiling now? I wonder what's going through his mind?" I recognized the voice of Carlisle as he continued to speak, "It's fascinating, what the human mind is capable of. One minute he is in deep despair, his face twisted in agony, and now he is so serene. Amazing."

"He is amazing." Jake's loving tone filled me and I stirred again, shifting myself towards him. I could feel his presence next to me, and I craved the contact of more than just his hand holding mine. I felt his lips against my forehead and I sighed.

"He's waking up." Alice's excited voice filled the room, the slight shake in it audible to my ears. I could picture her bouncing around in my mind as she tried to get her excitement and fear under control.

"J-ja-ke." My voice was rough even to my own ears, and my throat hurt a lot. It felt like I hadn't used it for a long time. I wondered just exactly how long I'd passed out for this time, and I prayed that is wasn't another mini-coma that I had become so used to having. "How long?" I knew he would understand.

"Just a few hours, baby, but you were screaming up a storm." I blinked as my eyes slowly opened and the light blinded me.

"Screaming?" I asked after Jake had given me a drink of water to help soothe the soreness.

"Yes, baby, you were calling out for me or Jasper to come save you. You were begging Sam to stop and praying that you're new life with us wasn't just a dream. You also talked about guilt and fault, and you finally realized I was right." He said with a smug smile on his lips before he turned serious again. "You also told everyone what Esme did." He whispered in my ear, and I gulped audibly. My eyes searched the room till they landed on Esme. She moved over to my side and grabbed my hand from Jake.

"It's okay, sweetheart, I was planning on telling them anyway. The burden has been too much for you. Look what's happened. You have pulled away from people; you have tried to shut down your emotions, and it's all come bubbling to the surface. The only one to blame for that is me, Edward, and I'm so sorry I put you through that." She sighed softly and frowned.

I felt the tears sting my eyes as all my previous thoughts bombarded me. I had to voice them, but all I could manage to say was, "What's going to happen now?"

Jasper stepped up and placed a hand on Esme's shoulder and then smiled down at me. "Nothing. No body, no evidence, no case. Sam's mother had his body cremated today. It's all just hearsay and we can't make a case on that. So, unless Jake is willing to testify about what he saw, it's over." Jake chuckled slightly, and I could see the relief on his face.

"I didn't see anything. I was walking down the hall and just bumped into Esme, we went to chat and next thing I knew, there were nurses and doctors running around calling Code Blue." Esme squeezed Jake's hand and kissed him on the cheek before turning back to me smiling, though her eyes betrayed her. I saw the sorrow in them.

"I take it you all discussed this while I was sleeping?" I asked, curious as to what I had missed. They all nodded their heads. I didn't know what else to say. It seemed this chapter was behind us and it was time to move forward. I just didn't know how to grieve for someone like Sam.

"Can I have a moment alone with Edward, please?" Jasper's voice cut through my thoughts. Jake turned to me, asking me with his eyes if I was okay with that. I nodded to Jake and everyone left the room.

Jasper came and sat down beside me, reaching out and placing his hand on my shoulder just like he had done many times before. I let his particular brand of comfort wash through me and gave a satisfied sigh. "Now that's the reaction I'm use to." He said with a soft chuckle.

"I'm sorry, Jasper." I said as he brought his hand up behind my neck and massaged it gently, like he always did. I felt so content in that moment; the only thing missing was my Jacob.

"It's okay, buddy, I get it now. So many things you are dealing with and on top of it all a big secret you couldn't share. And the selfish part of me is really glad to have finally gotten to the bottom of it. I knew there was more than you just being tired and trying to deal with Sam's death. It's me, Edward, you don't flinch around me." He frowned at the memory before replacing it with a smile and looking at me. "You're very important to me, Edward, probably more important than you realize. I would do almost anything to keep you safe." He rested his forehead against mine and sighed before pulling me into a hug.

Jake cleared his throat, causing Jasper and I to turn and look at him. Jake's face was twisted into mock jealousy, while Jasper tried really hard to fight a smirk when Jake's voice filled the air.

"I knew it! Alice!" He called, and when she came to his side, he continued, "I knew they had something going on. Didn't I tell you? All those nights he would sleep in Edward's room, all the touches and looks. They have been doing us wrong, Alice. I think we should teach them a lesson and run away together." With his last words we all completely lost it and our laughter filled the room.

I could always count on Jake to break through the tension of any moment. He stalked over to us and pulled Jasper off me before wrapping me up in his arms. "Get your own man, Mister, this one here is spoken for." Jasper grunted slightly.

"Damn it, man, all the good ones are taken." He huffed out before walking back over to Alice. "Guess I will just have to settle for marrying this here woman instead." Alice smacked his arm playfully before turning to me and winking.

"Well maybe Edward and I want to run away together and you two boys will just have to shack up and keep each other company on those cold lonesome nights." I laughed out loud and grabbed hold of Jake really tight.

"Not in this life time, woman child. This man here is all mine." Jake chuckled and kissed me on the cheek before wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. I inhaled deeply and let out a soft moan. My favorite things in the world - Jake's chest and his scent.

"Where are Carlisle and Esme?" I asked as the laughter died down.

"They are in the other room talking." Alice said, "You know, Edward, I don't know about you, but I'm proud of my mom for doing what she did. I was terrified, Edward. I would dream in the hospital that he was coming back to finish the job. I don't know how you deal with it all. I still can't..." she trailed off as small sobs escaped her. I moved myself off of the couch and made my way to her, pulling her into my chest and crushing her too me.

"Shh, it's okay, Alice, I understand. I'm proud of her too; that was never the problem for me. It was more about the guilt that she did something like that to protect me, us. And what would happen to her if she got caught? I love Esme like a mom, and I have already lost my own. I couldn't face losing her, too, not for something like this, not because of me." I broke down, crying softly with Alice as we held each other.

I felt another pair of arms wrap themselves around me, and to my surprise, it wasn't Jake. Esme's scent filled my nose as she hugged both Alice and I. "I'm so sorry I put you through that, Edward, the worry, the fear. I didn't know. I hoped that one day you would see me like a mother, but to actually make you so afraid that you would lose me..." She sobbed quietly with Alice and me. It felt almost cathartic being in the arms of these two women and letting it all go, like it had been earlier with Jacob.

Little pieces of my life were falling into place, and though I knew that it would be a while before I would truly put the past behind me once and for all, I felt hope that I could one day do it. And that was a very profound moment for me.

We stood there for a long time, just crying and holding each other and occasionally whispering words of love and understanding. It was a moment I wanted to stay in forever, but one thing was missing, the one thing that was always missing when he wasn't touching me. Jacob. And sensing what I needed, as he always did, I felt his hand on my back rubbing soothing circles on the skin underneath my shirt. Jasper joined us and then Carlisle followed not long after. I knew the moment he was there because I flinched slightly and heard him sigh, but this time he didn't move away. Instead, he just placed his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly. It was the first time he held his position and I felt a wave of gratitude for it. I don't know how much time passed before we disentangled and moved back onto the couches. Jasper and Alice curled up together in their usual chair, while Jake and I snuggled down on the sofa and Esme and Carlisle took the love seat, holding each other close.

I yawned and turned my head into Jake to try and hide it, but everyone caught it anyways. The problem was, yes I was really tired after such a draining day, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. So when Jake looked at me with the question in his eyes, I shook my head and mouthed 'not yet' to him. He smiled, pulled me close and kissed my lips. "Whenever you're ready, baby." I smiled back and said thank you before turning back to the others.

"I have some news." I stated and all eyes turned to me, I blushed slightly under the scrutiny but continued on regardless. "Jake and I are officially moving in together." I said with the biggest smile on my face.

"Congratulations," Esme and Carlisle said at the same time, while Alice and Jasper asked, "Don't you two already live together?" Jake chuckled.

"Well not officially, so we have decided that we are going to make it official like and decide where we are going to live, whether it be Edward's place, my place, or we may sell both and buy a new place that is just ours." Jake pulled me tighter as he said the last part. I think he liked the idea of having something that was just ours.

"Oh," Alice said, bouncing slightly in Jasper's lap, "Maybe we can go house hunting together? I mean, since Jasper and I are getting married, we are going to need a bigger place for the kids."

"Grandchildren?" Esme's face lit up, just saying the word.

"Eventually, mom." Alice added, but it didn't diminish the light in Esme's eyes.

"And," I added.

"There's more?" Jasper asked.

"Yes. I have decided to get the tattoo on my back covered." I smiled at Jake and squeezed his hand.

"What tattoo?" Alice and Esme asked at the same time. I had forgotten that only Jake and Jasper knew about it. So I stood up and Jake gave me a worried look.

"It's okay, Jake, I can do this now." I said as I pulled up my shirt and lowered my pants so the others could see the mark left on my body.

Esme and Alice's eyes filled with tears as they took in the tattoo on my body, and Carlisle's jaw clenched at the sight of it. I told them the story of how I received it and they all got up and hugged me one by one, even Carlisle who whispered in my ear, "I know it's probably not the worst thing you have been through, and I'm sorry for that, son." I felt a small tear escape me at his words, but held back.

I took my seat next to Jacob again and curled up into his side as I continued. "I'm getting a wolf." Jake kissed me again and smiled brightly.

"I take it this has special meaning?" Jasper said, smiling just as brightly as Jake. So I told them the story of Jake's heritage and how he is my protector and gives me strength to face every day. Also how getting this would be like having a piece of Jake with me always.

"That sounds perfect, Edward." Esme said as she smiled brightly at us both. And it was perfect, just like Jake. I knew he had his faults, just like any other person in the world, but I loved him unconditionally, and he loved me the same way. Jake was perfect for me.

"It is. He is." I replied quietly, and I could feel the blush creep up my cheeks. "So about this wedding?" I asked trying to change the subject.

"Yes." Alice started bouncing again on Jasper's lap and Jasper had to grab her hips to stop her from the constant motion on his most intimate part. A couldn't contain my chuckle at the look on his face, a mixture between lust and pain. She turned around and whispered something in his ear before settling down and continuing on. "Jake, have you thought about being my Maid of Honor?" She asked with a mischievous smile.

Jake grumbled in my ear softly, "God damn it, I'm not wearing a dress," before looking at Alice with a grimace.

"Please, Jake, it would mean so much to me, plus you get to walk down the aisle with Edward." She coaxed. And with those simple words his resolve seemed to crack entirely. He looked at me with a huge smile.

"Fine Alice, but I'm not wearing a dress." He said never taking his eyes off of me. I felt my dick twitch at the look in his eyes, and my mind was filled with images of him filling me and me filling him. I had never topped before, but for the first time in my life I actually wanted to, and I was so glad that Jake had agreed to let us try.

Jake leaned over and chuckled softly in my ear, "As much as I love the noises you make, baby, you may not want to make them in public." It was then I realized that I had moaned out loud and was whimpering slightly. I was slightly mortified, but everyone in the room continued to discuss Alice's wedding plans and ignored my outburst. So, I decided to get my own back on Jake.

I leaned in and whispered back to him, "I can't help it. When you look at me like that, visions of you making love to me and me making love to you fill my head. But for right now, I want to go home and let you try putting me in your mouth like you have been asking to do." It was Jake's turn to moan, and he quickly made our excuses so we could leave.

We hugged everyone goodbye and made arrangements to attend Sunday dinner since we hadn't been able to do it lately. The thought of picking up our old routine made me smile. Jake was shifting from one foot to the other as we made our goodbyes, and Jasper just couldn't help but comment.

"What's got you in such a hurry, Jake?" Jasper asked, nudging him and giving him a knowing smirk. Jake just punched him in the arm, telling him to shut it.

We made our way back to my place quickly, taking the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator. We had no sooner made it through my front door when Jake turned and locked it, then picked me up and ran me into the bedroom.

"In a hurry are we?" I chuckled. He just rolled his eyes at me before kissing me soundly, effectively shutting me up. We stripped each other lovingly before he placed me on the bed, laying down on top of me and capturing my lips in his again. I moaned loudly and thrust my already straining erection into his.

He broke free from the kiss panting softly as he continued to kiss down my neck and chest, stopping to linger around my nipples. My back arched up as he moved from one to the other, paying them equal attention, before continuing his journey south.

I moaned as he made his way down my stomach, his tongue following the path of my happy trail, and just when he was where I wanted him most, he veered off and started to kiss down my thighs. I grunted my displeasure at his detour, but it sounded weak as he moved his way up and lavished my balls with his beautiful mouth.

What he did next caused me to jump slightly; he pushed my legs further apart and moved down to my entrance, his tongue making circular motions around the opening. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me with concern.

"Is this okay?" He asked, "''Cause I can stop if you want."

"No-oo, don't stop. It's just, I've never..." I broke off as I felt the heat of the blush taking over my face.

"No one has ever done this to you before?" He asked, and I shook my head. It felt strange, but oddly wonderful, and I wanted him to continue, but I didn't know how to ask. Luckily, I didn't have to.

"Just tell me to stop if you don't like it." He said and then continued where he left off. My body was responding in ways I never knew it could. It was like a whole new world was opening up to me. His tongue glided over the tight ring of muscle before pushing through softly. I groaned and pushed my ass into his face, a reflex action I couldn't help; it felt so good.

"Mo-or-re, please." I managed to say as he continued to fuck me with his tongue while his hand stroked me in time with his thrusts. He lifted his head up and looked at me.

"Do you like that, baby? Do you want more, or do you want me to take you in my mouth now?" And I was so fucking torn. I wanted both. He noticed the torn look on my face and chuckled softly. "We have all the time in the world, Edward, we can do both. Which way would you like to come first?"

I had no idea. So he continued on where he left off, his hand stroking me while his tongue penetrated my ass, and I was in bliss, rocking my hips shamelessly into his face and making sounds I had never heard come from me before. It wasn't long before I felt my orgasm build to a point that I couldn't hold off any more, and I spilled my seed all over Jake's hand and my stomach.

Jake gave a satisfied smile as he jumped off of the bed and went and got a wash cloth to clean us up. I sighed softly at the love and attention he gave me. The love I felt for this man was all encompassing and I was overjoyed in that moment that I was lucky enough to have him. When he had finished cleaning me up, he curled up next to me and pulled me to him.

"Did you enjoy that, baby?" He chuckled as I rolled my eyes at him.

"Jake?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Do you think, um... Can I... Hell, canItrythatonyou?" I mumbled out quickly. Jake just smiled at me and nodded his head.

"Of course you can, but only if you want too." And, oh boy, I wanted to. I wanted to bring him as much pleasure as he brought me. I kissed Jake passionately on the lips and made my way down his body, enjoying the way his muscles flexed in reaction to my attention.

Unlike Jake, though, I did stop to pay attention to his cock. I wanted to taste him - it was a burning need that I couldn't stop - and my tongue came out and licked the pre-cum off the tip. I moaned at the taste of him and then took him all the way into my mouth, causing the most delicious sounds to come out of his mouth.

"Oh God, Edward, so fucking good." He moaned as I continued to move up and down his length. I released him from my mouth and moved further down, paying attention to his balls before getting to the place I wanted to be. I was unsure about what to do here, but I figured I could mimic Jake's movements because they felt so damn good. Just the thought of it made me hard again.

Jake spread his legs for me giving me perfect access to his beautiful ass, and I took my first tentative lick around his puckered hole. The taste wasn't what I expected; it was salty and tangy, with a hint of bitterness, but it wasn't all that unpleasant. My tongue continued to lick and probe as Jake withered underneath me.

I slowly started to stroke him with my hand, using his own essence as a lubricant, as my tongue penetrated his ass. The noises he was making were driving me wild, and I started to grind my hips into the mattress seeking some kind of friction. It wasn't long till I brought Jake to the edge and he spilled his release onto my hand. With one last lick to his hole, I sat up looking rather pleased with myself. I got off the bed and retrieved the washcloth, taking it to the bathroom to rinse it out and came back to clean him up.

As I curled up beside him, he pulled me into his arms, kissing me on the top of my head and murmuring his gratitude. His words began to slur together and then the only sound that came from him was a soft snore. I chuckled at how adorable he was before I pulled the blankets up and kissed his chest, whispering goodnight and following him into a deep sleep.

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