Dizzy Up the Girl

Track XXI
We'll Be Here (When You're Gone)

She was discharged from the hospital at midnight.

Mathilde refused to let them keep her and threatened to walk out herself if they didn't discharge her before sunrise tomorrow. When they said that they wouldn't keep her, she then threatened that cancer wouldn't be the cause of death by sunrise.

Needless to say, the doctor begrudgingly agreed and decided that with nothing they could really do for her, keeping her in the hospital would be pointless. Tino and Lukas pitched in for some at home care for Mathilde to make sure she was comfortable and medicated properly. Birgitta felt slightly better with Mathilde returning home, but was still a bit of a wreck over the verdict being later that day.

With that coming up, they turned to the Icelander to keep an eye over Mathilde, who had been sick since she left. However, he had an appointment that same time, and eventually talked them into letting his boyfriend, who seemed to be returning back to normal since leaving the rehabilitation center, to stay with her.

Birgitta was busy pacing the hallways at three in the morning, unable to sleep. She glanced at the pictures on the nearby table, before worrying her bottom lip and walking down the hallway. "Birgie, go to bed."

The weak voice was that of her stepsister, and the Swede frowned, pushing her door open before commenting, "You should be resting."

"Rest, shmest. You have the verdict tomorrow."

"I'm so scared." She entered her room, taking a seat next to her bed. The Dane rolled onto her side, her once bright eyes now dull and filled with something unreadable. "I'm going to lose him. I'm going to lose you. I'm losing my family right before my eyes and I can't do shit about it."

"You won't lose Peter," Mathilde's scold was hardly a scold anymore. "Stop thinking like that. And I'll never leave you guys. You remember when I said I wanted no regrets and that I'm going to die happy?"

"Yeah…" she mumbled.

"I'd only die happy if I can be with you guys always. Like… spiritually." Her voice had become increasingly raspy over the past couple days. She also said it was a bitch to breathe.

"Like a ghost?" Birgitta smirked, and the two softly chuckled. The Swede ran a hand through the Dane's dirty blonde hair and sighed. "Just try not to scare Peter. I'm never forgiving you for that horror movie fest. He still thinks the building is a gateway to hell."

"Where's the fun in that?" Mathilde's grin was more natural than it had been. "Besides, I'd probably pick on the neighbors with Peter and harass the landlord. What I always did when I was still kicking it." Birgitta frowned, her dark eyes scanning over her stepsister.

"Don't talk about yourself like you're already dead."

Mathilde didn't argue or agree – she just laid there and sighed loudly. Birgitta's hand was still combing through her short locks when she heard the light snore. The Swedish woman's small smile returned as she curled up in the chair, her hand still petting through Mathilde's hair. It wasn't long before she herself drifted off to sleep.

"Do you mind if I bum a beer off you guys?"

"You probably shouldn't be drinking."

Mathilde was sitting in the recliner, her eyes glued to the television, although she wasn't actually watching it. Instead, she was listening to the Thai bustle around the house, doing various things before he settled onto the sofa, a beer in hand. He popped the cap off and she reached towards him.

"Can I have a sip?"

"You probably shouldn't be drinking," the Asian mocked, but passed her the open bottle anyway. She brought the bottle to her lips and took a cautious sip. She hadn't drank since her first incident, and it was a foreign, yet addictive taste to her. She coughed, passing it back to Kiet and settling back into her chair.

"I haven't drank in years," she mumbled.

"Well, I guess now's a good time to start again," Kiet mumbled, adjusting his glasses and taking a drink himself. "Not like you're doing so hot anyway."

"I hear you aren't fairing any better."

He paused, before shrugging it off. "…touché, my dear."

"I heard stories about you…" He gave a quick, hallow laugh. It wasn't like he hadn't heard that sentence before. "Emil says you've almost overdosed three times. You've been on the brink of death. Got any advice for me?"

"They all thought I was crazy," he whispered, sitting up. "I'd somehow come around and I'd tell them what I saw. I'm standing in the hospital room, and I can see and hear what's going on around me… but I'm unconscious. A bony hand grabs my shoulder and tries to lead me out the door. The first time I fought back. The second time I made it to the end of a hallway with a bright light and somehow woke up before I continued…"

He paused, trying to control his breathing. "And the third time?" she quirked an eyebrow.

"I went down that bright hallway and I was in the graveyard across the street from here," he shook. "An open grave with a casket next to it and a headstone with my name. I begged and pleaded. I tried to bargain for my life. Death is kind of a bitch… but he asked me in this voice that made my blood run cold… he asked… what I had to live for. He asked me what I could've done differently…"

"And you answered what, exactly?"

"I said I had love to live for. I said," he bit his lip. "This beautiful man was waiting for me. He was sick himself, and I needed to help me. I said I wish I could've been there to care for him the rest of the time… basically I just gushed about how much I loved Emil…"

Her body shook and she curled up, tugging the blanket tighter.

"Then, I got in the casket… and the next thing I knew, I woke up, drenched in sweat in an empty hospital room."

"So you have hallucinations?"

"I'm positive it was drug induced, but… you know," he shrugged his shoulders lightheartedly. "Most of my hallucinations are related to my, ah, addictions, so to speak."

"Emil said the latest ones were due to withdrawal," she was saying that to herself rather than him. "Tell me about those?"

He frowned, growing pale. "I don't want to talk about those with you. Or anyone…"

"Why?" she crossed her arms, scanning over him.

"Because they started to involve you."

The courtroom was quiet and sullen. No one had said a word upon arrival. Eduard had pulled Birgitta up to the front and was talking to her. She looked like she was about to cry. "They lost him." Tino clenched his fists, and Lukas frowned. "They lost him," Lukas repeated.

"We don't know that," mumbled Tino, who was trying to suppress his anger the moment the door opened and Arthur walked in, practically dragging the young Peter by the wrist. He tried to wave to the three Nordics in the back row, but Arthur would not allow it.

The moment the judge entered, the atmosphere tensed up. "Now, please understand that this was a long and hard process, but I had to make a decision. With what was presented with me, it was impossible to decide…"

He picked up his gavel. "The court was to rule in favor of the prosecution and that Arthur Kirkland was to have sole custody over Peter."

Birgitta gasped, trying so hard not to cry. Eduard shook his head, removing his glasses and sighing. Emil groaned loudly and Lukas shook his head. Tino stood up, and was about to walk out before the judge spoke again.

"However, I have received word from the prosecution they wish to drop this case and return sole custody to Birgitta Oxenstierna. Mr. Kirkland would like to meet with you, Ms. Oxenstierna, and discuss a possibility of visitation rights."

Tino turned around, his jaw practically on the floor.

The defense's side grew quiet, unsure of what to say. The Swede meekly nodded and Eduard spoke up. "Yes. We can arrange that after court is dismissed." Judge Edelstein nodded and dismissed the court, standing up and leaving. Peter jumped up from his seat behind Arthur and ran up to his mother.

"Mama!" he jumped up and she caught him, spinning him around.

"Oh my God!" she screamed, hugging him tightly and setting him back down. "Peter!" She knelt down and hugged him tight, kissing his forehead and fighting off tears. Arthur approached them and Birgitta stood up, straightening her clothing.

"You didn't have to do that."

"You were always right," Arthur mumbled, his emerald eyes on the floor. "However, I do want to see him. Maybe spend some time with you."

"Not like we once were, of course…"

"No… besides," he flushed lightly. "You were the only girl I really ever loved…"

It clicked and she chuckled. "Maybe I can meet this new guy? I mean… if he's going to be around Peter…"

"Then I need to get to know him better." They turned and faced the Finn, who was chatting with the Norwegian in the back. He flashed Birgitta a giddy smile and she snorted. "He doesn't seem horrible though."

"He's not…"

Their conversation came to a lull and Arthur excused himself, saying that he'd call soon. Mother and son walked to the back of the room, and Tino embraced the Swede. "I told you. I told you." She laughed, but didn't admit he was right. The five walked out and decided to return to the apartment for a few drinks.

Kiet had been dozing off since Wheel of Fortune came on. Mathilde had been fast asleep in the chair, only stirring when she coughed or hacked. He often would get up and recover her weak body with the blanket before resettling himself back in and closing his eyes.

"I'd like to buy a vowel…" the nasilly voice of a female form the television said and Kiet groaned, covering his ears. However, she said it again and again. He sat up, realizing something was very off.

"You don't touch her yet."

"Her time has come." The Asian shuddered and recognized the voice immediately. The one who made his blood run cold and heart stop. The one who had been out for him all these years. Death had come back.

"It's just a dream." He whispered this to himself.

"You don't touch her yet."

"I'd like to buy a vowel…"

He bit his thumbnail before sliding back down onto the couch, staring at the ceiling. "You don't touch her until I say she's ready to go."

"Why should I listen to you?"

"You'll be fucking with my son." The voice began to shout, and it sounded heavily accented. "I want them to be happy before she goes. Now, you do what I say, or else."

"Whatever you say, Marcus…"

He rolled off the couch and hit his head on the floor hard, jolting him awake. Panting, he stood up and saw the show had ended. Sighing in relief, he turned around and faced the recliner, only to be receiving a hard glare from the Danish woman.

"Bad dream?"

"Yeah… sure."

"Was it about me?"

He didn't respond and before Mathilde had the chance to press, the apartment door flew open and someone was running toward them. Landing in her lap (and ignoring the light groan), was the young blond boy.

"Peter!" she shouted, embracing him before she started to wheeze. "Oh God… Oh God…" She wheezed again and began to feel awfully lightheaded. Kiet pulled the young boy off of his aunt and let her regain some compouser before letting him crawl back into her lap.

"I'm home for good, Mathilde!" he smiled, kissing her cheek. "I'm going to spend all the time I can with you."

As soon as everyone else was in the apartment, they gathered around the living room, talking and laughing. Lukas had taken a seat by Mathilde's feet, and the Dane slid down onto the floor, cuddling up next to him. Kiet had restrained from talking most of the night, and when he and Emil were leaving, the Icelander stopped him, pushing him up against the railing.

"What's wrong?" he asked, holding his wrists down.

"It's the…"

"Oh, the hallucinations again?" Emil frowned, and Kiet nodded, staring into his intent violet eyes. "What are they about? Are they like the ones…?"

"They're not about me… " the Thai felt his boyfriend release his grip. Kiet joined their hands and they began to walk. "…hey Emi?"

"Yes?" the younger male turned and frowned.

"Do you know… anyone named Marcus?"

Emil snorted. "That's such a general name…"

"Anyone dead named Marcus?"

They stopped before they reached the crosswalk, and the silver haired male frowned. "…where did you get that name from?"

"He's one of the people who…"

"Marcus Bondevik has been dead for fourteen or fifteen years."

"Who is he?"

Emil frowned, looking at the pavement below his feet.

"He was Lukas' biological dad."

Kiet's eyes widened, and suddenly it all made sense.

"I love you, Mama," pressing a kiss to her cheek, the little boy curled up and began to snore lightly. Tino smiled from the doorway and Birgitta approached him, a content look on her face. She looked back and sighed again. Pushing past the Finn, she reached her bedroom and sat down on the end of her bed.

"You're a great mother."

Indigo eyes studied her and she flushed. "I'm getting better every day…" she leaned reached for her feet, removing her shoes and rubbing her narrow feet. "It's going to be hard when… when Mathilde dies." She choked, finally able to realize the full extent of what had been happening all along.

"She won't die until you two are happy and comfortable. She'd never allow that."

"True." Tino sat down next to her and smiled, rubbing her back in circles until she announced she was going to change into something more comfortable. He nodded, walking over to the door.

"We should go out for dinner."

"When are you free?" she asked, walking over to her dresser drawer and pulling out a large t-shirt. He turned around, leaning against the frame and shrugging. "Weekends are the best for me."

"How tomorrow night?"

She smiled and walked over to the man, before smiling. "I'd like that." He began to walk away, but she caught his arm. "Bye. Thank you so much."

"I owed you one for being a douche." He smiled. "Bye." She released her grip and shut the door behind him, sighing dreamily as she touched her pink face.

"Have you ever wanted to get married?"

The question came at three in the morning when he realized that they had been laying in bed, wide awake since eleven. He buried his face into her hair, inhaling the familiar scent that she always had and sighed. "No, not really."

"I did," she mumbled, pressing her back closer to his chest. "One time, I was a junior in high school and my friends and I crashed this wedding for fun. I watched the bride walk down the aisle… and I knew I wanted that moment when all everyone can say is how beautiful and young I looked and how amazing the day was."

"You don't have many of those days, I'm guessing?"

"Not since I was in college."

She hacked and he winced. "I wanted a mermaid dress, you know? Ever since I was little I wanted to wear one. I wanted flowers in my hair and a wedding on the beach. But… you know… the short hair wouldn't look as good with flowers and there's no beautiful beaches around here…"

"Do you really need to get married to be happy?"

"I didn't think so," she hummed. He blinked. "I thought if they stuck around, they liked you enough. But then… I realized… when you find something amazing, why would you not want to stake your claim on it?"

"So I'm like a good piece of land to you?"

"You're ruining the moment."

He laughed and kissed her hair. "I'm just saying that's what it sounds like. So you really think I'd be worth a wedding?"

"You make me happy," she shrugged. "You still love me regardless of circumstances… how are you not worth a wedding?"

"I've never really liked weddings," he mumbled. "I watched my mom marry three different men – and none of them were my father. I felt like if she was going to stand up there and lie about loving this guy forever, then why would I do that to myself by standing up there and saying the same shit?"

"Would I be worth it?" she asked, frowning and turning to face him. "Would I be worth standing up there and promising forever? Or would I be breaking that promise?"

"You put me in a hard spot," he hissed. "You are worth it, but forever might mean a few months, weeks, days… hell, even hours with you!"

"What's worse: one hour of happiness followed by death or a lifetime of regret just because you were afraid?"

Rolling his eyes, he kissed her forehead. "But isn't it better to die knowing you were loved and committed to? You don't need a fancy rock on your finger to prove that. My mom didn't realize that. Now look where she is in life."

Mathilde did not respond and only turned her back to him, putting some distance between them. When he was certain she had fallen asleep, he carefully crept out of her bed and sighed, slipping on his shoes and slowly walking outside and across the street.

"And we'll be standing when you're gone
And we'll be heard again
We missed our chance but not for long
I know somehow we will hold on we'll be here
When you're gone."

This had been sitting incomplete for days. Only a couple more chapters left guys!

Uhm yeah someone has to have a happy ending... kind of. Birgitta got one.

Adios~!
Darlene :)