So there was a lot of confusion in the last chapter. I want to put this out there now that Katrina is a drama queen. Her pride was hurt and she hated that. Hello! for like the majority of this story she has been trying to get in Sirius' pants and when he finally gives into her, she realizes she isn't ready? Yep defintely a hurt pride. And Kat loves her alcohol too so hey, shes like any teenager: Having a bad day? Get a drink! And, believe it or not, Sirius is her first love no matter how rocky the relationship. So when he breaks up with her, she's a little devastated but....

Well when you read this chapter, things might defintely be clearer.

I could lie and say I moped around for the next two weeks before school ended. I mean I could tell you that I was in bed, crying away, with six boxes of tissues around me, blubbering on and on about how we were made for each other. I could even say that I was a downright whore, with no principles, and no regards for other people's feelings.

But that would be a lie.

It took me almost two minutes after Sirius left the common room to sober up completely and get on with it. A small, minuscule part of my mind said that I should have been torn apart but that would require energy. I didn't even stash myself away. I didn't even use a tissue...unless you want to count me using my sleeve to wipe off a few tears.

I had to give myself some space. I needed an effing break from Sirius. Like a real break. I needed some quality me time. And once I figured that when I wanted Sirius, I could always talk to him. I was over our fight in a flash.

Now all I had to deal with was Lily.

What I really hated about all of this is that no one has ever been in my position. Granted, I acted irrationally but I'm almost seventeen so let me live dammit! Lily, perfect, smart Lily, has boyfriends and playmates... as I like to call them. She can handle both in a relationship. I can't. Sirius can't have a relationship and playmates... that would be asking too damn much. I missed that smoldering Sirius, who with one look could make your knees go weak and your heart flutter. He could have made you do anything he commanded and you would have willingly complied. Instead, I got the sappy, serious side of Sirius. True, he tried to throw in a little spice, but that didn't work.

So when I left for the grounds, Lily was near our tree (the one where I told her about my feelings of Sirius. The day we got together...not that I am thinking of that). She looked up as I approached.

"Lils you are my best friend and I am bound to make really stupid decisions. So while I am on a mature streak, I would like to apologize for lying to you and the next time that I decide to go out and get smashed, I'll ask if you want to tag along." She smirked at me.

"That is all I ask. So can I ask what happened with Sirius?" Lily asked tentatively. I shrugged, unbothered.

"Over. But don't worry about me... I have party plans for us over the summer. Maybe we can meet some hot beach babes, eh?" I raised my brows and laughed with her. She didn't seem sure of my statement, but she laughed anyway.

For the last two weeks of school, Lily and I studied like no one's business.

"Lily...." I teased her the morning before the History of Magic exam. "What is the capital of New York?"

"ALBANY!" Wow. She is freaky. She was panting, staring at me wide-eyed. "Do you think they would add world history in too?" I was too stunned to speak.

"Doubt it." I whispered. I didn't even know where New York was located. Hell, I don't even know where France is. I am culturally challenged.

Exams were fairly simple for us. For all Lily's freaking out and worldly knowledge, she was calm and collected while taking her exams. I was completely focused so exams passed in no time.

"Let's have a party, Remus. A real party. Not that shitty thing you had before Christmas break." Remus gave a dirty look. It was breakfast before the last exam which happened to be Potions. "It's the last day of exams and everyone needs to loosen up and get ready for the summer!"

"What exactly is your definition of party?" It was Peter who spoke. Odd, considering he hardly ever spoke to me before. I thought maybe he was trying to be sarcastic on Sirius' behalf but Sirius wasn't even at breakfast. I only fleetingly saw him at the end. James listened in while Lily looked over her notes.

"Well first there has to be alcohol."

"Of course." Lily mumbled. I smiled at her.

"Maybe we can finally play a game of shots, though I dare say that you'll lose." Lily looked up at me and narrowed her eyes.

"How can you even think of partying with Potions exams coming up in twenty minutes?"

"Lils, listen to me: I am going to let you meet an old friend of mine who has always been kind."

"Who?" James demanded.

"Fire whiskey." Lily scoffed and stuffed her nose into her book.

"I'll play a game of shots with you. I usually win so this could get interesting." James smirked at me. I laughed.

"I always win Potter, so put on your game face."

"Okay I'll get some large amounts of whiskey-"

"-and mead and this charming thing called Jack Daniels. Muggles make it but it's amazing. You gotta have it."

"Alright I'll get the liquor, you get the music, and Remus spread word around to those who wanna party like nutballs!" James pounded the table and we hollered.

This could be fun.

After exams were over, Lily was like a free bird.

"This party is going to be so much fun! I am so excited! You are like the party master!" I busted out laughing.

"Party master, Lily? Really?" Lily smiled sweetly.

"Yeah. You've been to tons so you must teach me the art!" If I hadn't been with her the entire day, I would have said that she had a head start on drinking.

But then, minutes before the party, Lily was a nervous wreck.

"Goodness, this isn't a good idea. What if I throw up on James? What if he thinks I am complete loser? Oh gosh. No, no. This won't turn out well." I smirked but decided not to remind her that she was talking about James.

"Every guy loves to have a party girl." Lily looked up at me, eyes begging for confirmation. I sighed and took one last look in the mirror. Perfection. "Just follow my lead and- when are you going to get changed?" I screeched at her. She looked like she was going to mass. Oh wow.

"I am ready." She mumbled, fumbling with her long skirt. I looked at her appalled that someone would even dress like that.

Hastily, I went over to her dresser and routed threw her drawers.

"Do you have anything even remotely sexy Lils?" I asked her. Her clothes were cute for dates and such but this was a party. The difference was that you gotta be dressed to dance around and flirt with your cleavage. Yes I went there. Finding nice fitting jeans, I went to my dresser and took out a green tank top and tossed it at her.

"Get changed." It didn't really matter that the only difference in our outfits was the color of our tank tops (mine was white). Lily just needed a confidence boaster.

Like I said, she looked amazing in that green tank top. It was a little loose considering the chest difference, but it still looked nice.

"You look hot. I look hot. Let me introduce to my old buddy."

The music was thumping loudly when we opened our door. In the common room, everyone was gyrating, all sweaty. It looked and felt like exams were over, just like it was supposed to. I vaguely noticed that there were people here from other houses before I made my way over to the liquor table.

Truthfully I have been waiting for the moment I would be reunited with fire whiskey ever since our departure in the club. James delivered the Jack Daniels and I almost toppled over.

"James I love you." I said to him. He was standing right next to the liquor table, holding a glass full of Jack Daniels... I could just smell it. We clicked glasses and downed it. Lily stood awkwardly to the side. I pulled out three shot glasses and poured fire whiskey into each of them, handing them off to Lily and James.

"The trick is to just down it in one swallow. When I count to three, tip your shot all the way back, close your eyes, and don't inhale until it goes completely down. Got it?" Lily nodded nervously. James glanced over and smiled at her.

"Okay. One-" James said, nodding to Lily.

"Two-" Lily said feebly.

"Three." I finished. At the same time we all downed our glasses. It was heaven. The hot rush in the back of my throat was amazing and I instantly received a confidence boast.

"So?" I asked Lily. She tried to smile at me. "You loved it. It's cool. I can always share." She laughed out loud, her swagger returning. Good. She can fend on her own.

One quick sweep of the room and I didn't detect Sirius anywhere. Although I said I was over him, I needed a little companionship when it came to actually facing him. My moment of weakness was cut short when James nudged me, two bottles of Jack Daniels in hand.

"This shit is fucking amazing. Let's do shots." Finally some real fun.

James and I headed over to where Remus and Peter sat. James was on one side and I faced him.

"Partygoers!" I hollered at them. They looked at me. "Why aren't you having fun? Loosen up! Exams are over! Have some Jack!" Peter's face pinched up.

"No thanks. James passed around a cup earlier and I nearly vomited. Nobody liked it except him and Sirius." I inwardly flinched at his name. Not that I cared. A few more shots and his name would mean nothing.

"It requires a hardcore taste." James laughed loudly at my defensiveness.

"No fair, Kat. You gotta get some whiskey in to equal the levels."

"Not like it would matter." I grabbed the bottle and took a few, large gulps from the bottle.

I lied. Half of it was gone.

"Shit, Katrina." James said, obviously impressed. Even that amount of liquor had no effect. During my days with the fast crowd, I began to acquire a high level of tolerance. That was my lifestyle for at least a month straight and I couldn't even kick the habit.

"Ready?" I asked him, pouring shots into our glasses. He nodded. On the three count, we each downed it.

And it went on for another fifteen shots.

"Shit." James said, grabbing the table. I hadn't even begun to feel the buzz and James looked ready to topple over.

"Quitting?" I teased him. He looked at me mockingly.

"Please. Give me at least another six shots."

It was actually five when James held up his hands in defeat.

"Okay, you win. You are officially the Queen of Shots." Remus and Peter laughed at James. I giggled and nodded at Peter.

"You game?" I asked him. He shook his head. "Remy?" Okay maybe I was a little buzzed. He smiled.

"Okay one shot. That's it." He stood up. "But one shot of fire whiskey and not this muggle shit." He went over to the liquor table. James wandered over to Lily who seemed quite taken with both the fire whiskey and James.

"So Peter. Getting any action?" He looked a little shocked but I guess he didn't even think of it. Hell, I was buzzed like crazy.

"Sure." He answered easily. Lucky bitch.

"Who?" I asked him, whether I wanted to know just because or because I was bored, I don't know. Was there even a difference?

"Ariana." He answered.

"Isn't she in Slytherin?" Vaguely a conversation between me and Regulus floated in my head, but I couldn't quite get it.

"Yep." Good for you, Peter. Break down these barriers! Show them who's boss!

"Ready?" Remus asked. He poured the shots and we downed them.

He said only two but it was actually more like ten.

"Shit," He mumbled looking at the empty bottle. Okay more like twenty.

Now I was crazy loose.

"PARTY!" I yelled and everyone hollered back. I jumped between two people and danced with them, laughing. I was the friggen cheese in this sandwich. A guy was behind me and-

"Dammit, Kat! This is one hell of a party!" Sandra was the one in front of me. I think Chase was behind me and, with one look and a smirk, I knew it was him. Too quickly, Grynor, another member of the fast crowd, came and stole Sandra away. Chase and I danced for a little, but I was feeling wild. Crazy. I wanted to fly!

"Hey, Katrina," Regulus said to me. Wait. Where the hell did he come from?

"Regulus?" I slurred. Yeah I know this party was open to the whole of Hogwarts but still... Remus wouldn't invite the Slytherins.

"Yeah. Come and meet some friends of mine." I didn't even argue as he dragged me towards a group. "Of course you know Narcissa, Bellatrix, Lucius and Severus." I wondered why a fight didn't break out already. Didn't Sirius hate Severus? Did it matter? God, I was freaking flying. "This is Rabastin," He pointed at some sullen yet handsome dark haired boy. "This is Avery," And yet another handsome boy. Were they actually handsome or did this fire whiskey make everyone fucking gorgeous? "Rodolphus," You can pretty much guess what I am going to say about him and his looks. Stunning. "And Evan." Yep. Good looking too. Damn you, fire whiskey. "And everyone, you know Katrina." Now all they smiled stunningly at me.

"Hey," I said. Maybe a little too loudly. Maybe a little too confidently. Maybe I just don't care. "You having fun?" I asked boldly to the Black sisters.

"But of course." Narcissa replied, always polite even after our showdown in the Three Broomsticks. Wasn't I supposed to be pissed at them? God, I was missing something.

This has happened a lot lately. I'm going to stop my drunken habits!

Not.

"Want a drink?" It was Regulus who asked.

Now for some very odd reason, my answer was -

"No thanks." Despite the fact that I did want more. And I wanted to play shots. Again. But some internal instinct told me to say no. Hell, I don't even know why I am listening to that internal instinct but it also tells me not to drink any other time and look at me now!

A drunken fool.

Hey. Not really. Well the drunken part not the fool part.

"Sure?" Regulus taunted me. I nodded.

"I actually gotta go see Chase for a moment. Be right back." I didn't wait for an answer. I flounced away with no intent on returning. I spotted Chase and for some, very odd reason I... well...

"Hey babe," I slinked my around his neck and kissed him passionately.

And with no lapse in time, he returned my kiss just as hotly.

Good God I have been missing out.

I barely noticed the whoops and hollers from the fast crowd as I pressed my lower body against his and made out with him in the centre of the common room.

Yes, oh God yes.

"Kat," He whispered, one hand tangled in my hair and the other pressed firmly on my lower back.

Like it should be except...

"Yeah?" I whispered back, eyes fluttering, looking at him through my eyelashes, biting my bottom lip and pretending to squirm under his intense gaze. It was the perfect tease and he went for it, diving into another kiss with me.

The common room was spinning which meant it was probably time for me to head upstairs, decidedly alone, but I couldn't pull away from Chase. Not just yet. I needed to feel the closeness that two people can have. I needed to feel his body against me, eternally one, completely erasing these past months. Forgetting all doubt, worry, and troubles that I have succumbed to in the past. So I kept kissing him, in hopes of fulfilling my own promise. I kept kissing him just because I wanted to. At least I tried to tell myself that.

Because drunken or sober, I could not mistake the man in the corner, wrapped up in a girl I somewhat recognized from Hufflepuff. Christina something. He was all over her, his hands slipping down her body, playing tonsil hockey, smiling as she kissed his neck, pressing her hands firmly against his chest. He murmured something into her ear and she nodded, grinning broadly. Soon, they went upstairs.

Complete bullshit. All that stuff about Sirius wanting to wait for the right time? Well hey, it's always a great time to get fucked, drunk, at a party with an equally drunk girl.

Fuck him. Fuck his brother. Like hell I would be affected by that.

And yet...

"Come with me," The implications were clear. Goose bumps rose on my arms as I remembered Sirius' come hither....and other things we did together.

Not now. Definitely not now. Because-

"Sure." This was it. I didn't care how messed up I was. I didn't care that it wasn't Sirius. I didn't even care that I probably wouldn't even remember it.

It was my life and for the first time, I didn't have someone holding me back.

Except I did.

Because as soon as I said it, I blacked out just for a moment.

Thank goodness Lily was right there in a heartbeat. She gave Chase a withering look which he didn't even seem fazed about. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me up.

Good thing too, because then I completely passed out this time.

Maybe I should just stop drinking.

The thought was unlikely, yet it was a frequent one when I woke up this morning, head throbbing. Lily seemed in a slightly better state. She handed me a red, thick drink that burned as it went down. It was also absolutely disgusting.

"Heals the headache. Turns out that there is a hangover potion. It's just something they wouldn't put in school books." She smiled slightly and for once I knew she wasn't going to yell at me. That would be hypocritical. She looked like she partied hard last night, but I somehow got the feeling that I partied more, which was not a pleasant thought. At least I could remember most of it.

I could remember saying yes to Chase, and oddly I don't even regret it. Maybe I would if I had actually done it, but still. It's bound to happen soon.

"I kissed James last night." Lily confessed. I gaped at her. That actually seemed better than the dumbass choices I made. Hanging with the Slytherins? Good God. How come I couldn't sense danger?

Don't even answer that.

"And...?" I egged her on. She pinched her eyes shut and groaned.

"God, Kat. It was the best fucking kiss of my life. Jesus Christ it was amazing." I had a feeling that it wasn't a peck on the lips and Lily's face confirmed said suspicions. But she looked at me and smirked. "So tell me about Chase." I snorted.

"You saw." I answered simply. I could still feel his warm hands roving my wanting body.

"Yes. As did everyone in the room. Not that you minded. I would have said get a room, but you seemed well on your way. That it is, before you passed out."

Now that I think about it, I definitely wouldn't have regretted it. My body was craving for Chase's hot touch.

Fucking A.

"Want to get some breakfast?" I looked at the clock. "Or lunch?" She nodded and waited as I got a hot shower and threw on some clothes. I looked like every person who was at the party no doubted resembled: a hot mess.

Huh. I don't understand what's so hot about it. I look like shit and I didn't actually wash off last night's make up.

But it's lunch... who the hell cares?

And yes, every person from the party was finally getting up. And I noticed a dark haired girl leave our common room. That is, until someone called after her.

"Christina!" Sirius yelled. He rushed over to her and handed her a necklace she probably forgot on purpose. She smiled and took it, planting a fiery kiss he returned. I couldn't but snort.

Lily bit back her smile.

Old Katrina was definitely back.

I walked passed slowly and said, very loudly to Lily, "How much do you want to bet that this lasts for the next three days?"

"I'd say about ten galleons." I nodded.

"Good one. I'll put in ten too." We giggled and hurried out of the common room and practically ran towards the Great Hall.

Chase was sitting with the rest of the fast crowd who showed signs of last night's party... just like the rest of the hall. Damn. Was it that good?

Remus, James and Peter were eating light. Peter finally let loose after the Slytherin's arrival. James looked up at our arrival.

"Excellent party last night, Katrina. It was amazing." He smiled at Lily but didn't say anything about the kiss. Weird because the James Potter would be bragging incessantly.

But no.

Shock was clearly plastered on Lily's face. No, scratch that, EXTREME SHOCK.

"Uh James?" Lily asked him, trying hard to actually ask him without actually asking. Confused? No need.

"Yes, Lily. I know, I know. You made a mistake. No problem." But the look on the face said it was a problem. That it did hurt.

Lily's features softened.

Yep. More than friends.

"No it's okay James." She whispered. He looked at her. And I mean really looked at her. The kind I've always wanted to receive. It was so intimate and personal, that I looked away leaving them to their troubles.

"So did you enjoy the party guys?" I asked Peter and Remus.

"Remind me to never drink that many shots with you." Remus flinched, rubbing his temples. I laughed, but that kind of hurt.

"It was only one bottle."

"I dare say you probably drank about seventy percent of the liquor. Good God. You are the Queen of Shots." Remus sighed. Peter snickered. You know, I was really starting to like Peter.

"Best party ever in Hogwarts history." Yep. If Remus ever started to hate me again, I'd enlist Peter as my new best friend. "Everyone will never start talking about this one."

Someone came in and sat beside me. It was so normal that I almost said hey. But then I forgot that he and I are broken up.

But that didn't stop Sirius.

"Thanks for the comment back there." He said to me, almost politely but his grey eyes were fuming. "Maybe next time you could be just a tad louder."

"Oh I can be louder. All you got to do is ask." Dammit Kat! Don't get all sultry with him! As if it would even work!

Sirius snorted.

"Jealous much?" He asked. I gripped my fork so hard that I wanted to stab him in the chest.

Lily, the ever awesome and amazing best friend that she totally is, cut right in.

"Why would she be jealous of her?" Lily answered. "She's a step down from Kat with that hideous, limp hair. Her body is totally out of proportion and her chest looks like it belongs to a five year old." Wow. Holy shit. "Besides, she has Chase who can feed her desires anyway she wants." I hid my laughter. Oh shit. No, this is the reason Lily and I are best friends. "Unlike you." She added with a sigh.

"Lily, again, if I was playing for the other time, I would melt with you right now." She burst out laughing, and James looked at her fondly. Sirius, on the other hand, wasn't going to take shit lying down.

"At least she can please me." That was like a slap in the face. As a matter of fact-

WHAM!

Sirius flinched and looked at me through angry eyes. I leaned in close and whispered words only he could hear.

"Fuck you. Actually, I tried. You were just too cowardly." He flinched again and I left.

Yep. Old Katrina was definitely back. Considering the way I have been acting without thinking that is definite proof.

Yet, thinking about it now that was really harsh and uncalled for.

Really, really harsh.

But he deserved it... right?

Great. Now I am resorting to answering to myself.

But it also got me thinking that well... I didn't get sick around Sirius just then. I didn't feel weird or anything. It was completely confusing because two weeks ago I thought I had an illness called Sirius-itis. But now... maybe it was food poisoning. Maybe I was so pissed at my hurt pride that I blamed it all on Sirius. The more I thought about it, the more likely it seemed. And it was even more likely that I needed to be on break with him more now than ever because I thought I loved him but how can I be sure, when he was the only one I ever loved?

So right, it's kind of like déjà vu for me right now. I'm on my way to Lily's for the summer, and I am currently in a dark compartment, entangled with Chase Werth.

Just like before Christmas vacation.

Chase and I have been kissing incessantly since this morning when the train first got here, no before that... we shared a carriage so it started then. And it wasn't getting boring anytime soon, believe me, but I had to break it up. I had things to put in order before I got off the train.

"I'll be right back," I whispered. We were standing and I was against the door. I've been trying to break away from him for the past fifteen minutes, but each time, his kisses tempt me back.

"Come back," He answered me, holding me tightly to him. Now if I didn't know any better, I would say Chase has changed since the time I first got to know him. I wouldn't necessarily call him clingy, but he didn't want to let me go. Last time, he just shrugged it off.

"Okay," I giggled at him, planting a few kisses on his pouting lips. I left the compartment in search for Remus. I didn't know if he was going to join me at some point during the holiday, but I at least wanted to see him before he goes.

Unfortunately, he was in the same compartment as the other Marauders, which included Sirius.

Ugh!

"Hey guys," I could have been a total bitch and said hi to only James, Remus, and Peter... but that would have been too obvious.

"What's up Kat?" It was Peter who spoke and smiled.

"Ah nothing. Just thought I say goodbye before the train arrived." I thought I should leave out the fact that I was currently busy with Chase.

Everyone was silent, exchanging looks.

"What's up?" I asked the room. Remus was the one who spoke in an amused tone.

"We are going to the same place." He answered me.

Huh.

"Okay. Is there anything else I don't know?" You know, every time I bring this subject up, I always get some more surprises.

But at least Remus and Peter are going. God only knows what it would have been like just hanging out with James and Sirius... shudders.

"Not really." Remus smiled.

"Okay so I don't have to say goodbye?" I asked, standing.

"Oh Kat, don't be mad." James said in a worried tone. I laughed at me.

"I'm not mad. God, this summer is going to rock! But this was a waste of trip." I answered him. James raised his eyebrows.

"Got something better to do?" He asked me, assessing my appearance. Subconsciously, I straightened me skirt.

"Actually yes." I thought I shouldn't correct his something to someone.

"Okay, I'll be devastated when you leave." James said, snickering.

"My heart goes out to you." And with that, I bolted back to Chase's compartment, where he was sitting with a few members from the fast crowd, Sandra, Grynor, and some kid named Mac.

"Hey babe," Chase greeted me with a kiss, pulling me into his lap. Sandra smiled at me.

"What are you going to do during the summer, Kat?" Sandra asked me.

"Definitely hitting some clubs, hanging out on the beach, not doing a damn thing. What about you?"

"We're actually thinking of getting together in July. Near Bristol?" Hmm... that wasn't far. As a matter of fact, I could probably take the train there... huh...

"That sounds like fun. What are you thinking of?" Sandra smiled widely.

"Okay we are going to take a week of vacation there, hit all the good clubs, and rent out a couple of hotel rooms because everyone is in. Plus I hear the shopping there is awesome."

"One problem: Aren't we under aged in the muggle world?" My birthday was a month away. It's the big one seven! 17!

"Yes, but not in the wizarding world. We can create fake IDs with our magic." She has really thought this through. "So do you want to come? You have to! Who else am I going to go shopping with?" She kept smiling at me and I couldn't help but agree. Hell it was only a week! Plus, I need people who can keep up with me and my partying ways. Except I wanted one thing.

Just one.

As Chase and I said our goodbyes on the platform, I whispered in his ear, "Make sure we get our own room."

Chase grinned at me and pulled me into a passionate kiss.

"Absolutely."

Aw shit! Here we go!

Thank you my lovely Beta Reader, Zoe, for being awesome and sending me this chapter before my first day of school and while I was filling out college applications. You know, they say that you don't need to have an essay when you apply online but...I've bullshitted two already soo....yeah. This isn't fun. Every essay is really nerve racking and I was almost to the point of chewing off my fingernails. Like good God! Who knew writing about yourself could be so complicated???!

And to my reviewers: of course you always have my love and thank you so much for telling me about my chapters. I really do hope that I cleared up confusion. If not, I'll PM you...sound good?

lovelovelove,

Megg