Aulë! Why did it not work? He was fine as long as he was just doing simple things, making horseshoes, repairing shields, removing dents out of a sword, but as soon as he started on something more complex, it never came out of the fire as he wanted to. He knew he was not doing anything wrong as such, and his work was good enough by the standards of the smith he was assisting, but somehow he couldn't find the natural flow that was needed to reach perfection. As the afternoon passed on, he decided to call it a day. There was no use in getting more frustrated than he already was, and the midsummer festivities that Elrond had so carefully prepared had probably started by now.
He felt too tired and weary to go, but knew Ereinion would not allow him to stay behind on this day. He was well capable of coming to search for him himself when he would not turn up quickly. Overprotective mother hen, he had called him once, though he knew that he had given enough reason recently to justify his brother's behavior. But he hated these festivities, he never felt more alone than when surrounded by hundreds of people who all were happy and expected him to be so as well.
It had been different, once. When his son would jump the fires with the young ones on the midsummer night, when he would spend the days beforehand in the kitchen instead of his forge, preparing food together with Elianna for friends that would visit. Ereinion wanted him to be happy, wanted to recreate the joy they had had celebrating together in their youth in Balar. It was not possible, he could not just erase the memories of the time passed in Eregion, of three hundred fifty years of happy marriage.
He had just washed himself in his room, when he heard an impatient knock on the door. Sighing, a towel still in his hands and dreading the sight of his brother, he went to open it. He was mildly surprised to find Cirdan instead, standing in the hallway.
"You are ready?" the shipwright did not ask for permission and just stepped in.
"Almost. Let me guess, Ereinion sent you when he did not find me?"
Cirdan nodded, "You should have expected that, my boy, he wants you close on this day."
"I just wish he would leave me alone." Sadness was in his eyes. With Cirdan, there was no need to hide his feelings, there never had been.
The shipwright sat himself down on the edge of his bed while the smith picked a tunic that was festive enough for the occasion. "Elenluin, what are you afraid of? Why do you hide here? Ereinion tells me you have hardly talked to anyone since you arrived, aside from the young smith that is working in the forge. He was even surprised that you were present in the hall yesterday."
He sank on the bed as well, staring at the healing scars as he started putting on his arm protection. It was hard to precisely formulate what he felt but Cirdan remained silent and waited patiently. Hesitantly he spoke "If you must know, I am afraid of seeing their faces. I am afraid of the accusing glances because I lived while so many others did not."
"My boy, it is not your fault that they died, nor is it of your own choice that you live. Amongst those that dwell here who once knew you, none will hold that against you. Elenluin, I am very grateful that you are still alive, and so is Ereinion." Cirdan rose as he spoke further: "Come, we go, they are waiting for us. And if it can make things easier, take your flute with you. I am sure there will be a place for one player more in tonight's band. Come, my boy, Ereinion is waiting."
Elenluin felt that he had no choice in the matter, but at the same time appreciated the suggestion of going to the musicians instead of having to converse all evening with all the Lords and Ladies present, so he quickly grabbed his flute and followed the shipwright out.
They walked to the front of the house together and heard music already playing as they approached. The scene was beautiful, Elenluin had to admit that Elrond had outdone himself. Coloured ribbons were tied to the trees, garlands of flowers were woven through the backs of the rough wooden chairs that were placed around tables filled with food. Scattered around the whole area between the house and the bank of the Bruinen were piles of wood, indicating where the fires would be lighted when the sun finally went down tonight. Everywhere people were talking, enjoying the sunny evening together, some sitting at the tables, others even playing games it seemed.
And amidst it all, he saw Ereinion towering above his company, laughing at one or another joke. As he approached, he noticed the King was talking to Celeborn, who seemed exceptionally happy this day, and following his gaze, he found that Elrond and Glorfindel were conversing with the Lady Galadriel and a young elf maiden, with silver hair and silver eyes.
Cirdan steered him towards the group, and as he approached Ereinion greeted him in his usual loud voice "Ah, here you are, under which stone was he hiding, master shipwright?"
Before he could answer, Galadriel turned her attention to them, "Master Smith, it has been a while since we had last met."
"Indeed, my Lady, it has been a long time." Bowing at Galadriel, he thought that she was as proud and beautiful as ever. He noticed that her eyes were shining with joy, so unlike the last time he had seen her, a century ago, when she had come to visit Celebrimbor. Her silver-haired daughter politely greeted him as well. "Pleased to meet you again sir, I was young when we last parted, but I do remember you from one of our visits to Eregion. I hope that we find you well here in this beautiful valley. How fares your son? He must be all grown up now?"
Elenluin mustered all his self-control to keep smiling to the innocent girl, she could not know. He was spared from replying though by Elrond, who quickly stepped in, "My Lady, I was just planning to take a walk to the waterfalls, why don't you join me there? In the mean time I can tell you what has happened here in these lands while you were dwelling elsewhere? I think the Lord Elenluin had something to discuss with my Lord King." Elenluin saw Celeborn putting a hand on Galadriel's arm, restraining her from saying something, and Celebrian, who seemed to have noticed that the question caused some tension, turned to Elrond, smiling radiantly, "I would love to, the waterfall is so beautiful." And as he escorted the silver lady away from their group, Elrond shot him an apologetic glance. The silence that had fallen between the others after they had left, was broken by Glorfindel, whose eyes shone with unanswered questions. "So you brought your flute, Elenluin? Will you play?"
He was glad the golden haired elf had given him the chance to change subject. "I might, I will go and check if they can use an extra musician tonight, My Lords, Lady, I will see you later." And with that he escaped. He saw that indeed a group of musicians had gathered below a magnificent oak tree and were playing merry tunes. They welcomed him enthusiastically, he quickly found his place amongst them. There he stayed, hiding in the shadows, listening and playing until the sun started to set.
Ereinion and Cirdan shot each other a concerned glance as he left. In the meanwhile, Galadriel turned to her husband, her question unspoken. "His wife and son did not make it, they were both slain at the fall of the city." Celeborn answered softly. She replied, a hard look in her eyes "At least we have a smith that has survived and seems to be well again, and not the least of them either. It is good to know that not all our knowledge was lost."
Gil-Galad did not bother to answer. Galadriel would always remain the same, he thought. She could seem cold to some, but he knew she had seen too much, lived through too much herself to be easily moved by the losses of others. Instead he took his foster father apart, "Where did you find him Cirdan?"
"Getting ready in his rooms, he expected you to come after him if he would not show up. He is frightened to face the refugees here. Don't push him to participate if he doesn't want to. Let him be close but alone." Gil-Galad nodded pensively "I just had hoped that it would distract him a little to be with us, having some fun on this wonderful day."
"Leave him be Ereinion, it is a difficult day for him. He will find his way to us somewhere tonight, I do not doubt that."
The evening continued merrily and Celebrian and Elrond did not return from their walk. Just as Gil-Galad started to wonder if he should go and find them, he saw them approaching. She was vividly talking, her silver eyes sparkling in the last rays of the sun and Elrond was smiling as he intently listened. It had been a long time since he had seen the Peredhel so relaxed and carefree, and it made him smile too. "It seems, my Lady Galadriel, that your daughter has a definite positive influence on the organizer of this feast."
Celeborn smiled knowingly and answered before his wife, whom he was holding firmly in his arms, could reply. "I would say that the effect goes both ways, my Lord, I have not seen Celebrian so enthusiast in a long time." Playfully Galadriel gave him a slap on his arm "You have not seen us for a long time at all, husband, but I agree, she seems to like the company."
At that time the traditional hymns started, for the sun was setting and the climax of the festival was now very near.
"Come down from the mountains, come leave your fountains, oh spirits so joyful and lovely tonight!
Come to these meadows and in sacred dances, let your fair feet delight!" (1)
It was impossible to keep standing still when the joyous music sounded, and all drifted towards the piles of wood that were built everywhere.
They scattered and regrouped, woman and men apart, young ones to the front and older to the back, according to ancient tradition. They went back to the Days of the Trees, when the festival would have had different meaning, but the music and the celebrations had stayed.
Gil-Galad took his place in the middle of fires and noticed indeed, as Cirdan had predicted, that Elenluin had left the group of musicians and now was standing not far behind him. Elrond and Celebrian approached as well, and before the fair lady went to her own place amidst the young women, she swiftly stepped towards the smith. He heard her whisper "I am sorry for my inappropriate behavior earlier, my Lord, I understand now how grievous my question must have been for you. Please, accept my apologies." The reply of the smith was inaudible to Gil-Galad, but he certainly understood better now why Elrond seemed totally mesmerized by this courageous lady. As she disappeared in the crowd, he beckoned the smith, who looked a shade too white to be good, to stand with him and gently put a hand on his shoulder. "It is almost over, Elenluin, and we are here, with you." All were silent now, watching the sun crossing the rim of the valley.
Letting go of his brother, the King then stepped forward into its last golden rays, arms outstretched to the sky and started reciting his verses, as custom required.
"Let all sorrow be left behind, let the light enter your hearts
Out of blackness brightness will come, out of cold warmth will spring forward,
When the fire returns, the darkness will flee. Let there be light!"
And at that torches were lighted and the fires started. As flames leapt out of the bonfires and the stars started to appear, the wild dancing and fire-jumping of the youths commenced. His task fulfilled for tonight, Gil-Galad turned around towards Elenluin, Cirdan and Elrond who were still standing right behind him. "I am glad you were all here with me this year, it has been too many centuries since I was last able to celebrate midsummer with my family." He knew his grey eyes reflected the starlight, and he hoped that it would hide the tears of happiness that started to form from the ones he considered his brother, his father, his son.
(1) Free after Monteverdi's Orfeo, 'Lasciati I monti' ~ "Lasciate i monti/ Lasciate i fonti/ Ninfe vezzos'e liete/ E in questi prati/ Ai balli usati/ Vago il bel piè rendete.
some 3-4 more chapters to come in the next few days before this is finalised, please when you read, let me know what you think, via review or PM, very much appreciated!