O.K. I decided 295 was a little high. So here is your next chpt. Don't hate me, trust in me for I am all that is wise and knowlegable...yeah O.K. its B.S. but i like to hear myself say it in my head. LMFAO! xoxoxoxo's to all my my FANTABULOUS reviews, you make my day and i love you all! :)

I do NOT own any of these characters (BOOOOO), any and all references to the books belongs to the WONDERFUL and AMAZING Cassandra Clare! However the creative idea for the story is mine and any and all changes or references to it must go through me.

Chapter 19

Clary stood in the center of her new exhibit, trying to figure out the best way to lay out her work. The light had to hit each picture perfectly for the true image to be seen. Many of her pieces were of Jace, others were of different landscapes and she even had a couple of statues that she had made. One was of something twisted and dark that signified all she had been through while she presumed Jace was gone. Another was one she made when he came home; during that short two weeks of happiness they were allowed. It was light, and represented everything she aspired her life to be again one day.

Clary heard a throat clear behind her. It instantly set a smile on her face because she hadn't expected Jace to visit her at work today. She turned and was about to speak when she was rendered speechless by the person standing in front of her. This person was not Jace and it sent a fury of emotions charging through her to see him standing there. She didn't know what to think, she didn't know what to say. There would have been a time when words wouldn't have had meaning, he would have known just by her reaction to seeing him that it probably wasn't a good time.

"Clary," he said quietly. His hands were dug into his pockets and his shoulders were hunched over. If Clary had to be honest…he looked like shit.

"Simon," she crossed her arms over her chest and a hard line set on her lips.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have come here to talk to you but, I didn't really have a choice. You weren't returning my phone calls and you're always with Jace. I need you alone, so you can hear me out."

"Why would I want to hear you out, Simon? I think things were left exactly where they needed to be the last time we spoke," she snipped. Clary saw that it hurt him and she felt her heart rip a little bit for it. This was Simon, her Simon and she had destroyed him.

"Please, Clary, listen because you're my best friend and we swore one day that we always would be. You remember the spit shake and the pinky swear?"

"Simon, we were twelve. I highly doubt the pink swear and spit shake trumps anything that has happened."

"They always do with Jace," he said sadly.

Clary sighed, Simon was right. It wasn't fair of her to change the rules between Jace and Simon. She had to admit, she missed Simon. It had bothered her that she couldn't call whenever she wanted to gush about the baby or to just have someone to cry to over the situation with Jace. Simon had always been that person for her and while she didn't have him to do it, she was internally going insane trying to deal with it all.

"O.K. Simon, I'll take my lunch so we can talk," Clary said, turning to shut off the exhibit lights then back to Simon. She could see the faint smile on his face as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"You're showing," he gestured to her little bump and his smile grew.

"Yup, I sure am. Not that you should care," she knew she was being unfair again but she felt he was being selfish. They walked to the nearest diner and sat at a quiet table.

"I love you, Clary. I would be a hypocrite to say that if I didn't also love everything that was a part of you," he stared at her when he said it. She knew he meant it. Simon never outwardly lied to her, he just…didn't tell her some things…like the fact that he was in love with her. "That was a cheap shot and you know it."

"You deserved it," she said quietly as she studied her menu.

"Always so stubborn," he shook his head. "I'm sorry if the things I said upset you, Clary. It wasn't meant to come out like that, although, I knew I was treading on dangerous water. I just, wanted you to know that you're not alone and I want what's best for you…and the baby."

"Hi guys, what can I get for you?" The waitress said, cutting into their conversation.

"Well, Si what's best for the baby and I is Jace. The fact that you would think otherwise is the problem," she said to Simon quickly then turned to the woman to her right, "I'll have a triple decker, please," she smiled as the waitress jotted it down.

Simon shut his menu, "I'll have the same." The waitress nodded and walked away. "I was looking at the long term, Clary," he continued, crossing his arms over the table. "If he hadn't gotten better…how would you have handled that? It's not like he would have been accepting of an almost wife and a baby he didn't even remember. I don't think you understand the seriousness of his condition sometimes. He remembers, and that is great but…he isn't one hundred percent himself and he may never be."

Clary didn't want to hear anymore. Simon was flat out getting on her nerves now. It may have been the hormones, she couldn't be sure, but she wanted to literally rip his head off. She had to bite her tongue to hold back the words that were scratching to spill out of her. She was pretty sure if she actually said them…Simon would never forgive her. Clary decided to go with a different approach.

"Simon," she sighed. "I love you, as one of my favorite people on this entire planet. I love you as one of my best friends. I miss you, and if you would just shut up and apologize we could get over this and move on. You're right. Jace isn't one hundred percent himself. I need someone to talk to. I need someone to hold me when I cry and tell me that it's going to be O.K. whether it's true or not. I need that person to be you because, besides Jace, you're the only other person I have let in and I need you to do these things for me. I know, I know," she had a hard time holding back her tears now because she was actually letting everything that has been going on with Jace hit her. "I'm being selfish and it's not always about me but I need my best friend, Si. I need you."

Simon sat there stunned by her plea. I wasn't what he expected from her at all. In fact, he had expected her to be stubborn until the very end. He expected that he had lost her forever. He wouldn't have blamed her. He realized just a little too late that he had acted like a complete asshat and he deserved whatever 'punishment' she felt necessary. The only time he had ever seen Clary this vulnerable was when she thought Jace was dead. He stood from his seat and moved to sit himself next to her, wrapping his arms around her tiny frame as if he were blocking out any type of harm that may come to her. He hated it, but he loved her.

"Shhh, Clare-Bear," he said as she sobbed into his chest. "You will get through it, you always do."

"I'm tired, Si. I'm tired of fighting."

"You may be tired, but if I know you, and I do; you'll never stop fighting for Jace. You always have and you always will. That's what you do when you love someone." His throat tightened when he said it because he wasn't just referring to Clary and Jace, but to Clary and himself. He would fight for her, even if it was just for her friendship. He had lived life without her, and short as it may have been, it was dreadful and he didn't want to have to live that again.

XXX

Jace lay on the single body velvet sofa with Henry perched in a chair in front of him. He wanted Clary here but Henry said it would be best if she weren't there. Jace thought otherwise but he wasn't the doctor, not matter how much he thought Henry was a quack. He had never pictured himself to be the type to be lying there spilling his inner most thought and fears to someone he barely knew but Henry said it was necessary for the treatment.

"Alright, Jace, when I count to three you will instantly fall asleep," Henry said, waving a circular object in front of Jace's face. "One…two…three." Jace's eyes fell shut and he was immediately spiraled into a dark twisting abyss. He didn't like it here. Clary wasn't with him in this place, although, he felt a deep connection to it. "Jace," he heard Henry's voice from far away.

"Yes."

"Where are you? Tell me what you see," Henry pushed.

Jace looked around, "I'm sitting on the ground. My body hurts and my ears are ringing. I feel like I'm pinned to a wall. There was an explosion," Jace took a ragged breath and allowed himself to look up. "My t-team, Will, Will was the one who approached the girl. He was the one who set off the bomb. He and James, they were too close. They never h-had a chance." His head started to pound from impact but he continued to scour the area. "They're all d-dead. Jordan! OH, GOD, JORDAN," he screamed, his heart pounded against his ribs.

"Jace, I need you to stay calm. Tell me more, tell me who Jordan is," Henry's voice again.

"Jordan is my wing- man, my right hand, m-my friend…all of them…friends…family. I hear a truck coming. Six of them get out, they see me. They know I'm alive. Two of them take me; they're binding my hands and feet. GOD, it hurts, my wrist is broken. It's dark, I…I don't know where I am anymore."

"Jace, I need you to focus. Give me something, anything. What do you see, smell, or feel?"

"It's hot, dry hot, but I can feel moisture coming from the walls. I'm underground. I smell blood and piss. It's the smell that wakes me. I can hear laughter in the distance, voices I don't recognize," Jace explained.

"Are they hurting you?"

"Not now but, they will. I know they will."

"What will they do?"

"They will beat me, whip me, drowned me. They give me little food and water, only enough to keep me alive."

"Can you get out?"

"No, I'm too hurt. I-I want Red. I WANT TO GO HOME. LET ME GO HOME TO RED!" He couldn't help but yell for her, he wanted her with him so bad.

"Jace, when I count to three you will wake up and remember everything you just saw, felt and heard….One, two , three," with a snap of Henry's fingers Jace was awake. When Jace sat up he realized he was drenched in sweat and his heart was moving at hyper speed. His muscles ached and his head pounded. "What do you remember, Jace?"

"I remember everything," he said flatly.

"Everything from your dream?"

"No…" Jace shook his head. "I remember everything. I remember school and…Red," he sighed, realizing just how much he had failed her the past couple of weeks. How could he possibly forget any moment with her? How could he forget her?

"This is good. The results are much better than I had expected. If you remember everything we won't have to do it again. What I'm going to do though, is prescribe sleeping medication. Your mind will work in overdrive now and prevent you from sleeping. I won't give you anything else until you show signs that more is needed. For now, I want you to talk to Clary. It seems to me that she is all you'll need to get through it. A strong support system is often the best medication. Tell her she can come home but tread softly; sleep in separate rooms at first. You don't know for sure what will happen when you're asleep so, give it a test run."

Jace wasn't sure but he took this as good news. Red could come back and he wasn't memory retarded anymore. "This is good…right?"

"This is very good," Henry nodded.

Jace left the office as quick as he could. He wanted to see Red and tell her the news. He couldn't get home fast enough. She should be home by now; she was off work an hour ago. When he got to the apartment building he did his usual. He checked for the spare key, got the mail, and greeted the landlord. The man still looked at him like he was seeing a ghost. He took the stairs three at a time and burst through the door. She wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Red," he called, searching the bedroom and spare room. "Red!"

"She isn't here," a voice called from the front door.

"Simon?"

"In the flesh," Simon shrugged.

"What are you doing here?"

"Clary asked me to stop by and get some things."

"Some things…what are you talking about? Where is she?"

"She's taking a break. She's exhausted, Jace."

"And you play into this how? Last I knew, you two weren't speaking," Jace's eyes zeroed in on Simon, scrutinizing his every move.

"I don't play into this at all. I went to see her to apologize. She came up with this on her own. Call her, she isn't avoiding you or leaving you or giving up on you, despite my advice but that's her and she…loves you. All I was told is she needs a break. Her and Izzy are havin' a movie night or something," Simon shrugged.

"I don't understand," Jace shook his head.

"You don't have too. She is female, we," he gestured between them, "are male. PLUS, she has massive amounts of hormones pumping through her body making her even more confusing. Just give her a night. She'll be back tomorrow I'm sure."

The only problem was she didn't come back the next day, or the day after that. She didn't return his phone calls or his texts and that wasn't something his Red did. He contemplated going to the museum but he didn't want to push her any further away than she already was. There was nothing he could do but wait and it killed him.

He slept well with the pills. The problem with that was, he couldn't sleep without them. He knew if Red were with him he wouldn't need them at all because she was his main concern now. It was like nothing he remembered held a candle to her not being there. When had he grown so dependent on her? He was Jace Herondale; he didn't NEED anyone…except her. He NEEDED her, he needed his Red.

XXX

"Get your ass up, Jace," Jace faintly heard a voice in his room and his eyes burned as the curtains were drawn back.

"Ouch, Simon, what the fuck?" Jace sat up and tried to block the sun with his hand.

"Get up! Get out of bed and go get her," Simon pushed.

"If she wanted to be here, she would be. I'm not going to beg her to be here. If she needs space then so be it," Jace sighed, letting himself fall back against his pillow.

"Jesus Christ! You two are so damn stubborn it makes my damn blood boil. Get up!"

Jace was irritated now. They both knew very well that Jace could beat the hell out of Simon without out even breaking a sweat and still Simon continued to push him. What the hell was Harry Potter so worried about it for? If Red decided she didn't want this anymore then all his dreams would come true. He wouldn't live to enjoy it but Jace would give him oh…a day or so. There was no such thing as being stubborn about it. Clary didn't want to be here so why bother?

"I'm sleeping, Simon. Go bother someone else."

"Jace, I swear to God if you screw this up somehow after everything that's happened I'll murder you in your sleep."

"So the truth comes out. You really do want me dead," Jace lazily turned his head in Simon's direction.

"No, Jace. I don't want you dead. I saw what it did to her the first time and I never want her to have to go through that again. What I want is for you to pull your head out of your ass and go get her. Snap her out of whatever self-loathing phase she is in and bring back the real Clary. I don't know what the problem is…you have to fix her. You're the only one who has ever been able to fix her. That's why she chose you."

Jace processed Simon's words for a minute, then peeled himself from the bed and headed for the shower. The little weasel was right for once. While she was exhausting herself trying to give him what he needed, he failed to do the same in return. Apparently she needed more than just mind blowing sex. Who would have thought? All jokes aside, he did need to find her and bring her home.

It was Friday, Red would be at work. He headed into the city, taking the train first and then the bus. He stood outside the building, contemplating his next move. Go in, or wait outside? He didn't have time to make up his mind because in the middle of his pacing and over thinking he heard a quiet, familiar voice.

"Jace?"

He looked up and was instantly met with a large pair of deep green eyes. It had only been three days but it was three days too many. He scooped her up and held her tight.

"We're going home," he whispered.

Who thinks Simon is a good guy again? ME ME ME! I had to fix it...Simon and Clary can't be at odds. I'm sorry, I just don't like that.

No B.S. guys. THE LAST CHAPTER IS NEXT. Holy Sh*t can you believe it? I can't! But...for those of you who have been waiting patiently for me to update Last Words...wait for it...the next chapter is almost ready and will be up NEXT WEEK! (HOARDS OF SCREAMING FANS GO NUTS!) If you have somehow fallen off the face of the planet and have not read Last Words...you should, and when you have read it, review it because it would make me happy! ;)

When Last Words is finished I will Start another story called Wide Awake...so if you like my stories, watch for that one soon too!

THANK YOU ALWAYS TO MY FANTASTIC BETA...IN THE FRAY...I AM NOT WORTHY OF YOUR GREATNESS! 3

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