A/N:Hey everyone, here's the next chapter! Sorry it isn't as long as the others but I have had so much to do lately. Also, I'm a finalist in the "Dramiony awards" for 'Last Laugh' category. If you like this story, feel free to vote for me.
Anyway, I'll stop boring you and let you get on with it. Enjoy.
Chapter 21
They all took their usual seats and silently set about getting their equipment set up for the day's lesson, trying to ignore the poor fifth year throwing up in the corner.
Snape was moodily writing up the potion ingredients on the board, growling every now and then as the chalk snapped and he had to use a new one.
"Bloody chalk!" He snarled upon breaking his 5th piece and lobbed the two halves at Neville.
Neville squeaked in fright as the chalk smacked him in the forehead and he fell off of his stool backwards.
Hermione sent him a sympathetic look and moved to help him up but gasped when she felt something hard and papery whack her in the shoulder.
Turning suddenly to see what it was, she saw a potions book lying on her desk and looking up she saw a livid Snape glaring at her, nostrils flaring in rage.
"Where do you think you are going?" He snarled.
"I was just going to help Neville up off of the floor Professor!" Hermione protested rubbing her shoulder where the book Snape had thrown at her had struck.
"Sit down and shut up!" Snape snapped.
Hermione did as she was told and slunk back into her stool and kept her head down.
Draco scowled at Snape. Sure times were tough but there was no need to take it out on everyone else.
"There," Snape snapped slamming his chalk down on his desk. "There you have it you filthy little cretins!" he gestured wildly at the board. "Get on with it!"
Nobody protested, choosing to avoid grievous bodily harm by obeying Snape.
Hermione had one question about the potion, but dared not ask him.
Ron desperately needed to cough, but glancing once at the wretched girl in the corner made him withstand the tickle in his throat.
Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he looked around at his nervous classmates.
Snape was sitting as his desk with his head in his hands looking as though he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Draco was chopping up his ingredients, trying to be quiet about it as he cast worried glances up at Snape every so often.
Hermione kept her head down and worked as quickly and quietly as she could. Suddenly, she looked up at Snape, a look of pity crossed her face. She took out her wand and whispered an incantation while waving her wand.
A cup of tea appeared on her desk and she took it up as she got up from her seat.
Harry shook his head frantically as she crept towards Snape. Was she insane? Did she want to die?
She reached Snape's desk. "Professor Snape?" She said softly.
"What?" Snape snapped without raising his head.
"I…I thought you might like this." Hermione answered.
Snape looked up at her before lowering his eyes to the hot tea she held in her hand.
Snape sighed. "Thank you Miss Granger." He said quietly, gratefully accepting the tea.
Hermione gave him a small smile. "We'll be fine Sir. We'll figure it out." She whispered to him.
Snape nodded and waved her back to her seat wearily.
Hermione obeyed and went back to her seat, continuing with her potion.
Snape was relatively calm for the remainder of the class, with the exception of one incident involving the same girl from his 5th year class when she finished throwing up finally whereupon Snape stormed over to her and cleaned up the mess before throwing her bodily from his classroom.
The 6th years left the potions room in relief, glad to have escaped with their lives intact, although Neville was a gibbering wreck.
"Hey Mione," Harry said when they were well out of earshot of the potions room, "how did you know a cup of tea would help?"
Hermione smiled. "Sometimes all that is needed to cure all ails is a nice cup of tea. It works wonders and more magic than any potion!" (A/N: It's true you know! It can make it all better! )
Harry grinned. "I'll bear that in mind."
"Professor is under a lot of stress right now Harry, we can't be too mean to him." Hermione said seriously.
"Aren't we all?" Harry countered "But you don't see us flipping out and throwing dusters and chalk at people!"
"No, but you have to understand that Snape is in a very difficult position, not only is he a spy for the order, but just when he thought he'd escaped Voldemort, he finds that Voldemort isn't too bright and won't let him go…on top of that, he is still under pressure to…" Hermione paused to make a disgusted face "…marry me, a student! And then there's Draco, his godson, having to get initiated into the very thing that caused so much pain and suffering in Snape's own life…how would you react?"
"I suppose when you put it like that…" Harry admitted.
Hermione nodded.
It hadn't struck Harry until that moment just how selfless Hermione could be. She was Gryffindor incarnate!
"Hermione!" Draco called from somewhere behind her.
She turned just in time to see him run up to her.
"Where are you heading?" Draco asked.
"Common room, where else?" Harry said incredulously.
"Why do you ask?" Hermione asked.
"Well, I was just wondering if you would join me in the library for some study." Draco said casually.
Hermione's eyes lit up. "Really? Sure that would be great!"
"Great, lets go then." Draco said taking her hand.
"Wait, I have to put my stuff in the common room." Hermione informed him.
"Can't Potter take it up for you?" Draco asked, looking at Harry.
Harry sighed, nodding. "Yeah, here, give me your stuff Mione."
"Just a sec, I need parchment and quills for notes!" Hermione said eagerly digging in her book bag. She took out what she needed and handed her book bag to Harry.
"Thanks Harry, I'll see you at dinner!" Hermione called over her shoulder as Draco pulled her towards the library.
"What are we going to study?" She asked the blonde Adonis.
"We are going to find a way out of whatever Voldemort has planned. Starting with wizarding marriage ceremonies." Draco replied in a determined voice.
"But nobody is getting married!" Hermione said firmly.
"Don't be naïve Hermione!" Draco said shaking his head sadly. "Voldemort will make another attempt to kidnap you, Snape will be brought along, I will be no doubt taken by my father and we'll be right back where we were a few nights ago!"
"Oh ye of little faith!" Hermione quipped.
"Oh ye of little sense!" Draco countered lovingly, "Hermione, love, listen to me. This is going to happen. We have no way of avoiding it. What matters is getting out of it when we are there! If we can find some sort of loophole in the marriage ceremony that would render it null and void, then we are laughing! Voldemort will have every impression that you and Snape are married, but by wizarding law…even muggle law, you won't be married at all!"
"Draco, I really doubt that it will come to that!" Hermione insisted. "Heck, we don't even know if they will be successful in kidnapping me again!"
"They will, they'll just be more quiet and careful about it this time." Draco told her.
Hermione sighed. "Fine, let's get as much information as we can about it all and then take it from there."
Once in the library, Hermione and Draco gathered as many books about Wizarding and muggle marriage ceremonies as they could find and poured over them, taking notes.
After an hour or so, Draco exclaimed that he was confused. "What's with shoving cake in each other's faces?" he asked pointing to a picture of two muggles smearing cake over each other's faces. "Is that sealing the deal? Does that mean that if they don't do that, they aren't married?"
Hermione laughed. "No, that's just a tradition. I'm not really sure why they do it that way."
Draco snorted, shaking his head in bewilderment before continuing his search.
"Holy crap!" Hermione exclaimed throwing a book entitled "Dark magic weddings and such." Away from her as though it were poisonous to the touch.
"What is it?" Draco asked grabbing the book she'd thrown.
Hermione pointed a finger gingerly at the moving picture that had disturbed her so much.
"Oh that." Draco said nonplussed, yes, that's fairly normal."
"But…but they're…" Hermione stammered.
"Copulating right there in front of everyone?" Draco supplied, "Yes, it's normal for the darker witches and wizards to do that at their wedding ceremony. It's part of it all, witnesses and all that rot. It's supposed to ensure that the marriage is final and legal!"
"That's disgusting!" Hermione bleated. "Why do all the wedding guests have to see it?"
"Well, there was some problems with forced marriages within the darker legions, where the couple that married didn't…seal the deal so to speak, and as a result, many marriages of this nature were considered null and void, because they couldn't prove to the ministry that they had consummated the marriage, so they changed the rules to having witnesses to it to ensure it took place."
"Who made those rules?" Hermione demanded "I hardly think the ministry would-"
"That's just it," Draco said, "the ministry has no say over what constitutes a marriage strictly speaking…oh sure they've got to have documental proof, and proof of the consummation, but as to how that consummating is done, it's every wizard for themselves!"
Hermione cringed. "You said this is a dark wizard thing, right?"
"Yes." Draco affirmed. "My mother and father had this sort of ceremony, in fact, I was apparently conceived at the alter!"
"Too much information Draco!" Hermione said shuddering.
"Sorry." Draco said sheepishly.
"So, normal wizarding ceremonies don't do this, right?" Hermione asked curiously.
"No. Just the dark ones." Draco confirmed.
They sat in thought for a moment.
Suddenly, Hermione's face lit up. "Draco that's it!"
"What?" Draco asked not following her.
"You said that to make it null and void, the marriage must not be consummated!" Hermione said excitedly.
"Yes." Draco said still not catching on.
"Well the solution is simple!" Hermione said happily. "We just won't consummate it!"
Draco grinned and began to celebrate but suddenly remembered something. "Not so fast…there is the small yet majorly inconvenient fact that…It will be a dark wedding, Voldemort will require it of you…if you don't, he'll just make you do it. There is that little curse known as the Imperius that he's been known to favour."
Hermione's triumphant smile vanished. Crap…she'd forgotten about that in her excitement.
The gong sounded for dinner, interrupting their thoughts.
"Well, at least we've found something…it wasn't a total loss. We just have to put off consummating the marriage as long as possible, and hope that the order get there!" Hermione said sadly.
Draco nodded and they left the library.
Just as they reached the great hall, they bumped into Snape, luckily Hermione leaped back just in time so that she wasn't beneath the mistletoe with him.
"Professor!" Draco said, "We have something to tell you."
"We've come up with a plan, Sir." Hermione said "It's not a great plan, but it's the best we've got."
"Plan for what?" Snape demanded.
"We suspect that given that Voldemort is a dark wizard, that he will want to conduct a dark wizard wedding ceremony." Draco said in a low voice.
"Yes yes, get on with it!" Snape said irritably
"Alright alright, keep your boxers on!" Draco snapped. "We found out that by ministry standards, the only way that the marriage is legal is by consummation, but they need evidence, so dark wizards do it right there at the alter! We figured that you and Hermione just won't consummate it!"
"Duh!" Snape said uncharacteristically. "There's just one little flaw in your 'plan'."
"Way ahead of you Professor." Hermione said calmly. "I know Voldemort will just make us do it anyway, that's why we just stall for as long as we can. Dance, stutter over words, trip and fall, render ourselves unconscious, whatever, just as long as we give the order time to arrive, if they hadn't already by that time!"
Snape sighed. "This is the best you could do? It's awfly…primitive."
"So far, yes." Draco answered. "We'll have more time to do research tomorrow, it's a Saturday so we have all day."
"Well I suppose it's better than nothing." Snape muttered. "Now go to dinner."
"Yes Professor." Hermione and Draco said in unison before entering the great hall just ahead of Snape.
Feeling the familiar halt, they grinned.
"Oops!" Draco said "Forgot about that!"
"No you didn't." Snape muttered. "I'm surprised you still think you need a bloody excuse! Get on with it so I can get past!"
"Yes sir!" Draco said wrapping Hermione in his arms, dipping her and kissing her thoroughly.
Snape rolled his eyes. "Come on! I don't have all bloody night!"
Draco reluctantly let Hermione go and they went to their respective tables.
Snape didn't get far though. He was jerked back suddenly and he cringed.
Looking to his left he saw the problem.
"Oops!" Minerva McGonnagall chuckled.
"You stupid woman!" Snape snapped. "Did you forget about the insufferable plant?" he demanded pointing up at the Mistletoe above them.
"Yes, I did as it happens! You know you could be a little nicer Severus! You aren't exactly enamouring me to want to kiss you right now!" Minerva huffed.
"I don't want to enamour anyone, least of all you!" Snape raged.
"Well I don't exactly want to kiss you either! I'd rather kiss the Whomping Willow!" Minerva shrieked, outraged.
"The feeling is mutual, I assure you!" Snape shouted back.
By now everyone in the great hall was watching the two Professors and what was fast becoming a screaming match.
"I wouldn't kiss you if I was offered an Order of Merlin, First Class!" Minerva cried.
"I wouldn't kiss you if you were the last woman on earth!" Snape shouted.
"I HATE YOU!" Minerva screeched at Snape.
"I HATE YOU MORE!" Snape bellowed back, red in the face and his fists balled at his sides.
Suddenly they grabbed one another, kissed briefly and rather violently before shoving each other away and storming up to the staff table still bickering back and forth.
"Stuffed shirted Bat!" McGonnagal snapped.
"Interfering old prune!" Snape shot back.
"Inconsiderate Git!" McGonnagal sneered.
"Insufferable cow!" Snape countered.
The students watched them go up to the staff table and take their seats in an aloof manner where they sat glaring and sneering at each other over Dumbledore.
"Now now you two, there's no need to get hostile!" Dumbledore chuckled.
"He started it." Minerva sniffed.
Snape snorted but said nothing. He couldn't care less to be honest, he just wanted to be left alone.
Dinner went without further incident and Dumbledore bid them all a cautious but good night.
"Severus, the minute you get summoned, you must tell me so that I can get the order prepared." Dumbledore said quietly as he and Snape locked up the castle for the night.
"I know headmaster." Snape said quietly. He was very tired and just wanted to sleep.
"Good. Should it happen soon, Severus, remember this, if we do not get there in time, no-one will think the worse of you."
Snape stared at him. "What exactly are you implying?"
"Well, for marrying a student." Dumbledore elaborated. "Although I am most confident that it won't get that far." He assured the potions master quickly.
Snape scowled. "May I go to bed now headmaster?"
"Yes, of course." Dumbledore said.
Snape nodded and headed for his dungeon, tripping over Professor Flitwick as he went, pausing to yell at the tiny charms professor.
"Watch where you are going Flitwick!" Snape yelled.
"You were the one who trod on me, Severus!" Flitwick squeaked indignantly.
"Well you shouldn't be built so low to the ground! We can't bloody see you half the time!" Snape snapped before storming down the dungeon steps, leaving a very offended Flitwick to pick himself up.
Dumbledore sighed. It was a terrible business this marriage plan of Voldemort's. Severus was feeling the strain of it all, lashing out at the staff didn't help but Dumbledore understood why he was doing it.
Shaking his head, the headmaster made his way up to his chambers.
Up in Gryffindor tower, Hermione prepared for bed.
Lavender and Parvati were sitting up in bed gossiping.
Hermione ignored them and crawled into her warm bed, removing the heating pan that had been placed there and putting it by the fire.
"Hey Hermione." Lavender piped up "How are you and Draco getting along?"
"Fine thanks." Hermione answered blushing.
"I'll bet he's a great kisser!" Parvati cooed "What's he like?"
Hermione smiled. "He's…breathtaking."
Lavender and Parvati giggled.
"I thought so." Lavender declared, "Well, I had better get some sleep, I have a date tomorrow and I must look my best!"
"You have a date? Who with?" Parvati asked curiously.
"Blaise Zabini." Lavender replied casually.
"But he's a Slytherin! They're forbidden!" Parvati protested.
"Hey, if Hermione can snog Draco Malfoy, then I can have my own fun with Blaise!" Lavender reasoned.
Hermione blushed. "It wasn't intentional."
"What, the snog? Or the snog after that…or the snog after that snog?" Lavender cooed.
Hermione blushed even more. "I just meant that Draco and I didn't intentionally start liking each other."
"Ha! Liking each other, hark this one!" Lavender said to Parvati.
Parvati gave Hermione a sympathetic look.
"What's so unbelievable about that?" Hermione asked, offended.
"Are you blind?" Lavender said with a laugh "Draco doesn't just like you! That much is obvious!"
Hermione shifted uncomfortably and Parvati steered the conversation back to Lavender's date.
"So you're going out with a Slytherin?"
"Well, like I said, if she gets to snog a Slytherin, why can't I?" Lavender said snuggling down beneath her covers.
"She's got a point." Hermione reasoned with the gaping Parvati.
"Oh well why don't I just go for gold and snog Snape!" She huffed crossing her arms moodily.
Hermione blanched, looking disgusted. "Ew."
"That's taking it a bit far Pav! You aren't being serious are you?" Lavender said bolting upright in alarm.
"Don't be stupid! Of course I wasn't being serious!" Parvati snorted "Eww just think of it!"
"I know, that hair flopping in your face…gross!" Lavender said with a shudder.
"Can you imagine if he was married?" Parvati said scandalously "I mean, who would do that? And if he had children!"
Lavender gagged. "Yes, I can just picture it…little Snape's running around sneering and snarling at everyone."
The girls fell into peals of laughter at the image.
Hermione lay down, pulling the covers up to her chin. She didn't want to hear anymore, she didn't want to think about it.
It was 2am when Snape was awoken by a pain in his left arm.
"Damn it!" He hissed, rushing to his wardrobe and throwing on his robes, masterfully doing up the buttons with lighting quick speed. He quickly ran a comb through his black hair and dashed out of his chambers, bolting towards Dumbledore's chambers.
When he got there, he muttered the password and entered.
Dumbledore lay sleeping on his mahogany four poster bed, snuggled up with his pillow.
"Headmaster!" Snape whispered urgently.
Dumbledore snored on, blissfully unaware of Snape's presense.
"Headmaster!" Snape whispered a little louder, this time giving the old man a brief shake.
Still Dumbledore didn't awaken, he did however, begin to talk in his sleep.
"Minerva, give Severus his teddy bear back, or we shall never hear the end of it!" Dumbledore muttered.
Snape scowled and pinched the sleeping headmaster's nose.
After a moment, Dumbledore snorted through his mouth and coughing and spluttering, woke up.
"What in the…" Dumbledore said groggily as he sat up rubbing his eyes, and Snape came into focus.
"Why Severus, what is it? It's 2am!" Dumbledore said, his voice groggy with sleep.
"I've been summoned Headmaster!" Snape informed him urgently.
"Wait a moment won't you Severus!" Dumbledore said getting out of bed and going over to his mirror.
"Miss Granger's chamber!" The old man said clearly to the mirror.
Snape watched in mild fascination as the mirror's reflection rippled and Hermione's dorm came into focus.
Snape recognised Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil sleeping peacefully in their beds. Hermione's however, was empty.
"She's gone Severus!" Dumbledore said in despair. "I thought we'd have more time!"
"What of Draco?" Snape asked worriedly.
Dumbledore performed the same charm on the mirror, this time it showed Draco's dorm.
"He's gone too!" Dumbledore informed him. "They'll want to initiate him I expect."
"There was no sign of any struggle Headmaster!" Snape remarked "How could they have gotten inside the school to kidnap them?"
"Lucius Malfoy can enter the school seeing as he's a parent of a student. We must therefore assume he took Miss Granger as well as his son." Dumbledore answered.
"But how could he have done that without waking their dorm mates?" Snape questioned.
"That's for you to find out Severus, now, be off with you, and take care." Dumbledore said anxiously. "I'm going to alert the Order. We'll be as fast as we can."
Snape nodded and hurried out of the headmaster's chamber and ran through the castle until he came to the entrance hall and exiting from there.
He ran across the grounds and out of the school gates before apparating away with a loud crack.
A moment later, he arrived outside the castle where Voldemort had taken up residence and entered it with a feeling of apprehension.
Snape walked through the maze of corridors until he came to the ornately carved green doors of the great hall and passed through them.
"You rang m'lord?" Snape quipped, slipping into his role.
"Ah Severus, there you are, I was getting worried that you weren't going to come!" Voldemort said coming forward to greet Snape warmly.
"I do apologise for my tardiness my lord, I was detained by the old fool at the school, he was snivelling about Miss Granger going missing." Snape said in a bored tone.
"Ah yes, so he's noticed has he?" Voldemort chuckled "Didn't take him long to figure that out did it?"
Snape shook his head, smirking. "Where is the girl?"
"She's upstairs." Voldemort said smugly.
"And the others?" Snape enquired of the other deatheaters.
"They are dotted around doing stuff." Voldemort replied nonchalantly.
Snape looked around at the hall, seeing no change. Perhaps the wedding plans had been changed?
Voldemort sighed. "Oh you know I can't keep secrets from you Severus!." The dark lord said before clapping his hands.
Wormtail came scurrying out of some dark corner or another and bowed to Voldemort.
"Wormtail, it is time!" Voldemort said imperiously.
"Yes my lord!" Wormtail whined before turning to Snape and summoning a chair.
Snape watched in patient sneering as Wormtail climbed up onto the chair to bring himself up to Snape's height.
"Turn your back to him Severus." Voldemort instructed.
Snape swallowed hard, part of him wondering if this was the end for him, that Miss Granger had been right in suspecting a more elaborate plan to kill him for his disloyalty. Well, there was only one way to find out.
Snape slowly turned his back to Wormtail, who was licking his lips excitedly.
Suddenly, a piece of black velvet covered his eyes, and he gasped in surprise. He felt Wormtail tie the blindfold firmly and heard him scramble down from the chair and scurry off somewhere to his left.
Snape stood for a moment in confused and somewhat frightened silence before turning slowly on the spot, feeling the air around him with his hands.
"My lord?" he called uncertainly.
"I'm still here Severus." Voldemort's voice came from his right and Snape jumped, startled.
"My my, aren't you jumpy?" Voldemort chuckled, "You don't seem to like being blindfolded."
"No my lord, I don't." Snape replied truthfully.
"Not too long now Severus." Voldemort assured him in a coy voice. "It will all be over soon."
Snape didn't like this…he didn't like this at all. He had a horrible feeling something bad was about to happen to him.
Suddenly, there was sound, lots of it. Numerous footsteps, scraping of chairs and other things. It sounded as though something were being set up, or assembled. It was maddening not being able to see what was happening around him!
A few minutes later, the noise stopped, but Snape could sense that there were others around him.
"Severus, we thought you've more than deserved…" Voldemort said, untying Snape's blindfold. "This." He finished, whipping the blindfold away from Snape's eyes.
Blinking in the sudden light, Snape looked around.
The other deatheaters were all standing around wearing party hats and the hall had been decorated with streamers and ribbons. Tables of food had appeared and a large cauldron holding what looked like firewhiskey stood in the centre of the room.
"Welcome, to your bachelor party Severus!" Voldemort announced proudly.
"My what?" Snape gaped.
"Your bachelor party! Your last chance to have fun and be a party animal!" Voldemort explained grinning and punching Snape in the arm playfully.
Snape faked a grin too, though it looked more like a wince.
"Go, go and have fun!" Voldemort said pushing him into the crowd of deatheaters.
Lucius Malfoy grinned mischievously. "Come dear friend, we are going to have fun tonight, starting with a large whiskey!"
McNair came forward holding out a pint of firewhiskey to Snape, while downing one of his own.
Taking the glass from the whiskey guzzling fiend, Snape gazed around the room.
The deatheaters were already getting into full party swing, suddenly something caught his eye.
Draco Malfoy sat scowling in a corner. Snape made a beeline for him.
"Draco, are you alright?" Snape asked anxiously.
"Yes. Fine." Draco replied sarcastically. "I don't want to be here, I don't know where they took Hermione and my initiation is right after your appointed wedding! I'm doing great here Professor, couldn't ask for better!"
"Draco, don't lose heart!" Snape said beseechingly. "Try to look like you are having fun will you, you'll make them suspicious!"
"They are as dense as he is!" Draco snorted, nodding at Voldemort who was boogying to some weird song.
"This one's for Severus!" Voldemort declared.
Snape was too preoccupied to hear that announcement and continued his discussion with Draco who was also not listening.
"True, but we must-" Snape was cut off by a strange sound Voldemort was making.
"Oooheeeeeooooeeeeeeeeeeoooooaweeeeummmbummawhey!" Voldemort crooned.
"What is he doing?" Draco asked, wincing as the dark lord hit a high note.
He started again and this time, drums and sticks were added, sounding very primitive indeed as Snape and Draco watched, bewildered and disturbed expressions gracing their faces.
Suddenly the death eater's joined in with harmonies.
"Awheemaway Awheemaway"
"In the jungle the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight!" Voldemort sang in the same high pitch.
Snape and Draco stared in disbelief. Surely they were imagining it!
Bellatrix sang high opera like notes.
The death eaters and Voldemort surrounded Snape and danced around him in a circle singing and playing their drums.
Draco was grabbed by his father in passing and was dragged into the dance.
This continued until Voldemort sang again, this time unnerving Snape as he caressed his face.
"Hush my darling, don't fear my darling the lion sleeps tonight." The dark lord crooned.
It was then that Snape realised what the 'Lion' was they were singing about. He could only assume it was Granger. She was in Gryffindor, the symbol of Gryffindor was a lion, Granger was sleeping upstairs somewhere…oh how imaginative. But quite why they thought he would fear the Granger girl was unknown to him unless he was wrong in his estimation of the song's meaning which was highly likely going by the confused state he was in being danced around, and randomly brushed by Bellatrix and Narcissa on his face and chest. If everyone would just stop dancing in a circle around him, he'd be able think straight.
The song thankfully ended, and Snape could think clearly again.
Draco tore free from between his father and McNair and stormed scowling over to Snape.
"Oh look, Aunt Bella has a present for you!" Draco said sounding deeply disturbed.
Looking up, they saw Bellatrix coming towards them wearing…not very much, just enough to cover the essentials.
Snape groaned. "Brace yourself Draco, it's going to be long, disgusting night."
"This sucks!" Draco muttered to Snape as Bella drew closer, winking at Snape and suggestively displaying hips and breasts while the other death eaters cat called and wolfwhistled.
Just what was this woman planning to do? She had a look of a hunter stalking it's prey about her.
'Black Velvet' started up and Snape was treated to his first ever lap dance. Normally, he would have shoved her off and hexed her for daring to try such a thing, but he was in Voldemort's presence and so he could do nothing but sit with a stunned and rather humiliated expression on his face as Bella shmoozed all over him.
She finished with the music by planting a deep kiss on Snape's lips before sauntering away.
"Can you believe that?" Draco snorted, disgusted. He didn't know where to look. Seeing your aunty give your Potions Professor a lap dance wasn't exactly every boy's dream.
"No, I can't!" Snape replied, deeply disturbed.
"Professor, we have to find Hermione." Draco said urgently.
"Ha!" Snape barked a laugh. "Good luck, I have no idea where she is."
"But you can find out and get us up there!" Draco insisted. "Go and ask Voldemort if you can go and see her!"
"It won't work Draco." Snape said doubtfully. "And besides, I don't feel much like getting crucio'd."
"He's drunk!" Draco pointed out. "Maybe if he thought you were drunk too, he'd tell you! I know when my father is drunk, he lets me do all sorts of stuff I'm normally not allowed to do."
Snape sighed. "Well alright, but if I get hexed, I'm coming after you."
Draco jumped up as Snape stood up and feigned drunkenness, staggering towards the dark lord.
Draco followed, hovering nearby.
Snape put a drunk smile on his face as he teetered up to Voldemort, who was swaying and waving his glass around.
"M'lord!" Snape slurred "I…I haffa question!"
Voldemort turned to Snape and mirrored his drunken smile.
"Sheverush!" Voldemort slurred putting an arm around Snape's shoulders. "What can I do fer you?"
"I was just wondering…hic…where Miz Granger is?" Snape said, swaying forward, almost over balancing himself and the dark lord.
"Shteady sheverush!" Voldemort cooed as he pointed at the marble floor, "If we fall down there, it will break our bottoms!"
Snape merely pretended to hiccup again, regarding the floor with confusion.
"Mish Granger ish upshtairs!" Voldemort slurred, putting his forehead against Snape's. "Getting her beauty Shleep for tomorrow!"
"Where though?" Snape whined.
"Why do you want to know?" Voldemort asked, smirking as he pinched Snape's cheek.
Snape thought of the most disgusting reason he could think of.
"I want to…hic…have some fun with her if you know what I mean!" he slurred wiggling his eyebrows and nudging Voldemort with his elbow.
"Can't you wait til the morrow?" Voldemort chuckled.
Snape shook his head, frowning and pouting.
Voldemort laughed and slapped Snape on the back heartily. "Ah very well Sheverush, I'll tell you where she ish!"
Snape inclined his ear as Voldemort slurred the directions into his ear.
"Now be gentle sheverush, she's inex….inexshpe…she's never done it before!" the dark lord said in mock stern.
Snape grinned drunkenly before staggering off, grabbing Draco and wrapping him in his robes as he went.
Draco staggered out with him until the doors of the great hall shut behind them.
Snape let Draco out of his robes and they ran up to the fourth floor and entered the room five doors along as directed by Voldemort.