This chapter will be longer again and there's a new character I don't own either haha. Please read and review.
Day 51
Grell was just about to stand up after lunch, when he saw a young man sitting at a table not far away from his own one, arms wrapped around his upper body and not touching his food. The redhead leaned closer to Undertaker to whisper into his ear.
"Who is this man? Do you know him?"
"No, why should I? I guess he's new. What's with him?"
"It's just...he reminds me of myself, how he sits there all alone."
"Do you want to talk to him? Then I'll wait for you at the entrance."
"Thank you."
He gave his love a short, loving glance and walked to the man. He was nearly as small and thin as he was himself, with soft looking brown hair and frameless glasses.
"Hello, I'm Grell", the redhead sat and slowly sat down next to the young man, who lifted his head a little, but then stared at the ground again.
"What's your name?", Grell tried it again.
"Alan. Now please let me alone."
"Alan? That's a pretty name. You look rather lonely."
"That's what I want."
"I thought so too. You know, I always sat here like you and just waited until I could go to my room and cut again." He looked at Alan's arms that were full of scars and new wounds. Now the man lifted his head to look at Grell.
"Not anymore?"
"No. Some day another patient started to talk to me. At first I didn't want him to do that, but after a while I realised that I felt better and better."
"That's fine for you. Now please leave."
Grell sighed. But what did he expect? He hadn't been different at the beginning, but Undertaker hadn't given up and continued to talk to him. Maybe this was his chance to give something back? Lick what you've sown is what you reap, only the other way round, first sowing, then seeding. He smiled at Alan and walked to Undertaker, who was still waiting for him, deciding to speak some words with the little creature again tomorrow.
"And?", the white haired man asked with risen eyebrows.
"His name is Alan, but he doesn't want to talk to me."
"Seems familiar."
"Yeah...why didn't you give up on me when I turned you down the first time? You could have tried it with someone else, there are enough psychos here."
"But 'someone else' isn't the prettiest little thing I have ever seen with flowing red hair and green cat eyes, long, slender legs and with such a help seeking stare that you can't simply turn around and say 'Ah, well, I'll take another one then'."
"Not so loud! You're making me blush, darling."
"Maybe that was my intention."
Grell rolled his eyes, but blew him a kiss after making sure that they were alone in the hallway. Oh yes, he loved this crazy man.
"Did you plan anything for today?", he asked when they had reached his room.
"To be honest, yes. I wanted to workout, if you don't mind, before my muscles get too weak. Didn't do it since I came here..."
"Workout? I don't mind at all! Can I watch you?"
"Of course you can, if it doesn't bother you that I will be quite sweaty. At least I can shower here without problems. It wasn't that cool in the jail."
"Why?"
"Oh, the other prisoners get...quite in need after some time. I am very tall and strong, so I didn't need to worry, but still, the way they stare at you..."
"Uh...sounds...fantastic."
"As I said, I never want to go back to that terrible place."
"Understandable."
He sat down on his bed, crossing his legs and watching Undertaker who removed his shirt and tied his hair back with a hair tie from Grell's nightstand, then got to his hands and started push ups without hesitation. The redhead's eyes widened at how easy it looked, as if this wasn't a problem at all for his love. It probably wasn't.
"How many do you make?"
"Before I came here, it was something around eighty to ninety, I don't know how fit I still am. I hope to make at least seventy and after some training finally reach one hundred."
Grell continued to watch him in awe, how his muscles flexed and relaxed and after sit ups and some other things, first sweat drops ran down his temples and chest. The redhead's mouth watered. This man was so...
Finally Undertaker let himself fall to the ground, breathing hard and with red cheeks. He smiled up at Grell, who still stared at him as if he wanted to eat him.
"Like the sight?"
"Uh w-what? N-No, I was just...um...this looks pretty rough."
He hated the fact that he was blushing madly, although his love sometimes stared at him that way too. Rather every time he was shirtless.
"Sure, dear. I'll take my shower now, do you want to come with me?"
Grell's eyes widened and Undertaker started to chuckle.
"Just a joke. I'll be back in a few minutes."
He took his towels and left the room, the little redhead letting himself fall back, hands over his eyes. In moments like that he never knew what to do, on one hand he wanted to snog his Undie's face of, and pull him to the bed, but on the other hand he definitely didn't feel ready for something like that yet. Still, he wanted him
"Why can't my stupid brain just decide only one time...", he muttered after some minutes of thinking about his feelings.
"Well, I don't know."
Grell abruptly sat up, getting a nice view of Undertaker in boxers.
"I was just talking to myself."
"Yeah, I know."
He sat down and started to ruffle his hair with a towel to get it dry. Grell breathed in deeply.
"You smell good."
"I come right out of the shower, so I better do."
"No, I mean in general. I love your smell."
Leaning forward, he brushed his nose against Undertaker's neck, then kissed the place shortly and leaned back to not motivate his love to 'get carried away' again. At least not too much. The ex-mortician pecked him a few times before putting on a pair of loose pants.
"I hate the clothes here. They make you feel even more insane than you actually are. I want my old clothes back..."
"What did you wear?"
"Black. Lots of black. Usually skinny pants, high heeled over-knee boots with buckles, a button-down and around customers a black robe. And a ring with an emerald. The sisters at the orphanage said they found it in the basket I was lying in."
"Sounds...dark. But an Undie-baby? You must have looked really cute."
"Not cute enough for anyone to take me in, huh..."
"I would have adopted you. I would love to have a little Undie..."
He was well aware of the double-sense in his words, what caused Undertaker to take his hand and stroke it softly.
"I know, dear, I know..."
The redhead sighed, sliding into his love's lap.
"Why can't I be a woman?"
Undertaker didn't know what to say to this, he just stroked Grell's back, holding him close. The redhead sighed, then leaned back and laid a hand to the ex-mortician's face.
"You are the best thing that ever happened to me, you know that? I can be so happy that you are with me, before I knew you, my life was just..."
"Same here, you are my light. My small, red flame."
"But what if Will tells me that I can go home, that I'm healed? He wants to stop the medical therapy, if my state still improves then, he will say I can leave...what then?"
"Then you leave."
"But I don't want to be without you, you are everything I have! I don't even have a place to live!"
"I don't want that either, but I want you out of this place, so if there's any chance for you to get out, then I want you to take it."
"You don't understand me, I can't live without you!"
"You wouldn't have to completely live without me, you could visit me..."
"And? Then I would walk home and sleep alone in my cold bed. I would be depressed again, I know it...I hate every second without you."
"That's really cute, dear, but I mean it. I want what's best for you and if you could live a normal life for the first time, then it would be the best. You could maybe fall in love with another man, who is free as well, and you could be happy together."
Grell wiped over his eyes were tears were beginning to form. He didn't want this, never would he live without this man again.
"I don't want another man, I want you! I will not go, no matter what, even if I have to tell them that I'm gay, so they will keep me here."
Undertaker's eyes widened.
"You would not do this."
"I would", Grell fought back, ignoring the fact that they would be separated then, but drastic times call for drastic measures...
"You are so...damn! Don't you understand that I love you and want the best for you? It's not like I want to get rid of you, fuck it!"
The redhead sniffed, wiping over his face with his sleeve. He never wanted to fight about this, but why didn't Undertaker understand that he never could be happy like this?
"Please don't yell at me..."
"You...I'm sorry, I didn't want to get so loud. Still, Grell, you could visit me and everything, but in the best case you would forget me and start a new life with someone better than me."
"You got me out of my depression, who could be better than you?"
"Someone who didn't make corpses out of little girls."
"But...I..."
Undertaker sighed and run a hand through his still slightly damp hair. It wasn't easy for him too to tell Grell he should go then...
"Let's not fight about this now, until now Dr. Spears didn't say anything about your discharge, we can still talk about this when it happens. For now we can still enjoy our time together."
The smaller one pulled his legs close to himself, placing his chin on top of his knees. Undertaker looked at him sadly, then pulled him close to himself.
"I just love you, you stubborn thing."
"You are stubborn too."
"Maybe I am. I just want you to be happy."
Grell sighed and hugged him back, knowing that continuing to argue about it wouldn't help.
Advice is appreciated.