Four days, Beckett thought, stepping out the front door of her building into the morning sunlight.

She had wakened early that morning, pushed from sleep abruptly by dream images of Castle waiting at the front of a church, and a veiled woman in a long, white dress walking down the aisle towards him. Beckett had sat at the back, beside her mother and father, both of whom looked on sadly.

There had been no visitation last night. She knew that another one was coming, and the waiting was starting to get to her. She was also struggling with the timetable that seemed to have been set for her.

OK, so I need to do something about Castle, she thought, dodging past a pair of women both pushing strollers and deep in conversation with each other.

She was on her way to the small coffee shop just a block or so from her apartment building, to pick up some breakfast. As usual, she had nothing in the fridge, and she hadn't yet decided what she was going to do with her Saturday.

Let's say Stephanie does text him on Christmas Day, and he calls her, and they arrange to see each other. It's just coffee.

But she knew she was lying to herself. She knew that things were somehow coming to a head. He still said "always", and he was still there, but she'd stood in his apartment on a morning that was still four days in the future, and heard his daughter tell him he should move on.

She'd stood beside the table in a bistro a full week from now, and watched him make a confession about how he'd hoped something would happen between them.

But I'm coming around to the idea that it probably won't.

He was preparing to pull away, and she'd given him 365 reasons per year to do it. Her stomach clenched, and she felt her pulse quicken again.

"You're making a mess of everything," she muttered to herself, just as she reached the coffee shop.

She emerged five minutes later with a paper bag of pastries and a large to-go cup of coffee. She sipped the hot liquid tentatively as she weaved through the sea of pedestrians, focusing so much on not dropping her purchases that she barely saw anything else around her.

She was barely a hundred yards from her building when she heard the familiar voice behind her.

"Kate?"

She stopped abruptly and turned round, and it took her a moment to realise who had called her name.

"Josh," she said. "Hi. Wow. How are you?"

Josh smiled at her, only a little uncomfortably. "I'm great. How have you been?" He was also holding a tall coffee cup, though it didn't bear the same logo as hers.

She nodded, returning the smile and self-consciously juggling the coffee and paper bag. "You know… good. I'm good."

There was a pause.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" she asked, cringing a little at how it sounded.

Josh adjusted his stance a little. "Oh. The bike's in the shop. I'm on my way to pick it up."

Of course. She had actually introduced him to the mechanic that she also used. His garage was two blocks further down, and one block over. The nearest subway station was only a few minutes' walk away. It was a one-in-a-million chance that she'd bump into him today, but fate had been strange lately.

"Do you still get out?" he asked, and she blinked in confusion for a moment. Is he asking me… oh.

"I've not had the bike out in a while," she replied. "Work, you know."

She may have flushed slightly. It was a sore point between them.

"Well, I'm going right past your door. Walk with you?"

His offer was genuine, but she still hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Sure."

There were a few seconds of silence as they began to walk, then he asked her something inane about keeping the city safe, and she gave a non-commital answer. It was awkward, but it was also familiar. They reached her building quickly.

"This is me," she said, again mentally berating herself. He knew very well where she lived. He'd seen every inch of her apartment.

And of me, she thought randomly, unsure how she felt about it.

"Listen, Kate, it was good to see you. I mean that," he said, and for a moment she saw the tender man that he could sometimes be – that he sometimes had been with her.

"You too," she said, returning the smile he'd given her. "I hope everything's going well for you."

He nodded. "No complaints. Work is… work. And I'm… with someone. For a while now. It's good. For both of us, I think."

She was a little surprised to find that she was actually happy for him.

"I'm glad," she said, and he could see that she meant it.

"Well, I won't ask you to say hi to Castle for me, but for what it's worth, I liked his last book. Nikki Heat is a piece of work."

She flushed, and only tilted her head in agreement.

He paused for a moment, as if he was considering telling her something, then he shrugged. "You know, I actually told Claire - that's my girlfriend - about Castle's nickname for me."

Beckett's mouth dropped open. "How did you–?"

He laughed. "Kate, I heard him. About fifteen times. And Claire thought it was damned funny. She even calls me Doctor Motorcycle Boy sometimes."

She burst out laughing, unable to stop herself. It was such a typically Castle nickname to give the man she had been dating at the time, simultaneously acknowledging that he felt threatened, but also calling names like an eight year old.

Suddenly, she desperately missed her partner, her friend, and the man who was soon going to close the door on what he'd patiently been waiting for since they first met.

"It's… one of his better ones, I've got to admit," she said, her tone tinged with wistfulness.

Josh saw the look in her eyes, and his own smile faded slightly.

Incredible, he thought. They still haven't figured it out.

"Take care of yourself, Kate," he said. "And… it's none of my business, but… maybe think about letting him take care of you too, OK?"

She looked up at him, and sighed. After a moment, she nodded twice, quickly.

He gave her one last small smile, and then walked away.

Beckett pushed open the door of her building and then went inside. She didn't look back.

Castle told the driver to pull over a few blocks early, to give himself a chance to think while he walked the rest of the way. Being impulsive was one thing, but it was always worth at least giving his better judgement a chance to speak.

So what's the game plan?

Knock on her door. Ask if he could come in. Tell her he was worried about her, and he needed to know what was going on. Threaten to be even more annoying than usual if she wouldn't tell him?

Or, you could just turn around and go home, and leave well enough alone, his mind suggested. He frowned.

"I'm a man of action," he said to himself, drawing a brief, worried look from a elderly woman who was walking past. He gave her an apologetic smile and then averted his eyes and he continued on down the avenue.

Beckett's building was a couple of blocks away, on the opposite side.

This is a stupid move, his mind cautioned, and again he pushed the warning away. A night's sleep hadn't helped dampen the tension in him, particularly since she had filled his dreams. Something was going on. Something was strange. Something was changing.

That's what she said, he thought. I'm starting to think I need to make some changes in my life.

And she had looked scared. Then she'd thanked him for always being himself, whatever that meant.

"If you've got something to say, Kate, I think I deserve to–"

His pace faltered, and he came to a stop. A jogger almost collided with him, dashing past with a glance of irritation, but Castle didn't notice.

Beckett was there. Walking along the sidewalk, on the other side of the avenue, on the very next block up.

He frowned at the coincidence of it, and he was about to raise his hand to shout, despite knowing she'd never hear him, when he realised she was with someone.

He squinted slightly, then the surrounding flow of people eased slightly, and he saw.

That's… Doctor… it's Josh.

He felt untethered for a moment. Unfastened in time. The day was very bright, and the omnipresent honking of car horns and the hubbub of a thousand voices seemed to fade a little.

And then it all fell into place.

This time, the images marched through his mind in a calm, orderly procession that was almost military in its precision. Just like his dreams, she was in every one of them – but they were all real.

Maybe I should, Castle, if I ever want to read that new book.

Thank you for the coffee. Not just today.

We do need you here. I do. Maybe I don't tell you that enough.

I don't get tired of seeing you.

He watched as Beckett and Josh walked along together, coffees and a bag of something in hand, towards her building.

They stopped, still talking.

Josh said something.

Beckett burst out laughing.

I need to make some changes in my life.

I know I always make you wait. I'm sorry. I don't want to.

Thanks for… always just being… you.

His breath plumed out in front of him in the cold air, and then he turned away.

Answers, he thought. Seek and ye shall find.

It was all so obvious.

She was back together with Josh. She knew how he felt about her, and so she knew how he'd react. She probably even knew that he was worn down with waiting for her.

All the little gestures and reassurances all of a sudden.

Doesn't want to make me wait.

But she didn't want to lose him as a friend, either. Or as… a backup option.

We do need you here. Maybe I don't tell you that enough.

In a strange way, it was a relief that it had finally happened. God knows he'd been half-expecting it.

If you can't have what you want–

"–then it's time to want something else."

He took two deep breaths of icy air that felt like needles piercing his lungs. He blinked twice, three times, four times.

Then he slowly began to walk.