Chapter 21 – Empirical Data

Landis stood at attention as Lady Jade finalized the navigation route they would take through the New Republic towards the Tion Cluster. She seemed more agitated than usual, correction, as agitated as she had been before Skywalker had come aboard.

Not that he would make his observation vocal, although Lady Jade had never kicked anyone off the ship who hadn't truly deserved it, or let the punishment outstrip the crime, no one wanted to be the first to have her break that streak.

Skywalker seemed a bit odd since returning from Naboo as well. They hadn't taken any dinners together, nor any practices. He seemed to spend most of his time in the docking bay with his droid. Even at their sabbac game last night Skywalker was more reserved and withdrawn.

Perhaps they were seeing the writing on the wall as much as the rest of them. This peace was falling apart despite their best efforts. Odds had turned from if to when a new war would be declared, or at least a peace-ending truce.

"That should do it," Lady Jade gathered up the data pads in front of her. She wanted to cut the trip a bit short without making it too obvious, getting them closer to Imperial space, or at least neutral space.

"Thank you, ma'am," Landis took the maps and tucked them into his satchel to return to navigation. "Anything else, ma'am?"

"No," she waved him off, sitting back in her chair and staring blankly at her desk. He'd never seen the Lady look so distracted but then he wasn't privy to her personal quarters that often. Still, the fact that she would allow herself to look such a way in front of him did not bode well.

"Thank you, ma'am," he said again, saluting as he turned to leave. Whatever was going on, he'd find out when it was proper for a man of his rank and stature to do so.

"Lieutenant," she called after him and he stopped, turning crisply on his heels.

"Yes, ma'am?" he offered as he turned back

Lady Jade stood from her chair, a questioning look on her face, "Would you mind helping me with a hypothesis by providing empirical data?"

He nodded respectfully, "Whatever your ladyship needs."

"Thank you," she returned the gesture, walking up to a foot in front of him, "now, hold still."

Landis was about to give an affirmative response when the Lady reached out and grabbed him by the lapels of his uniform… then kissed him. To say he was a bit dumbfounded would be an understatement as prominent as his sudden level of fear.

Like a weaker animal suddenly put upon by a much larger, more ferocious creature, he went limp, hoping not to get mauled.

Seconds later, Lady Jade pulled away, her face frowning, the kind of expression one would see on a mathematicians face when they just added two and two and somehow got five. She shook her head and let him go, almost dropping him, then moved back towards her desk.

"Well," she thought he heard her mumble, "rules out that."

"Ma'am?" his voice squeaked, he quickly coughed and cleared it.

"Apologizes, Lieutenant," she waved him off. "I needed empirical data, having warned you could have ruined the experiment."

"Of course," Landis actually had no idea what she was talking about, but being a good officer he suggested, "shall I send in another officer? A heterosexual one?"

"Hhmm?" she glanced up, the Lady taking a second to think it over. "No, your sexual orientation is not an issue at this juncture, but I will take your suggestion under advisement."

"Thank you, ma'am," he was terribly confused, but not quite as terrified as he was a few moments ago.

"You may leave," Lady Jade dismissed him, returning to her desk.

Landis turned to leave, picking up the satchel where he had dropped it during the experiment. As he got to the door he put two and two together, but did he have the guts to say anything?

Taking a deep breath he turned, "Lady Jade."

"Yes, Lieutenant?" she said with a tug of annoyance.

"As I helped you with your experiment," he tried to say boldly but it came out a little meekly on one side, "would you allow me to regal you with my own hypothesis?"

She thought about it for a second, then waved him on to continue.

"This kiss experiment," he took another breath, "it has to do with you and Skywalker, does it not?"

The expression on her face did not waver except a slight hand gesture to the tune of 'get on with it'.

"Everyone, and I do mean everyone, on this ship has noticed that you two have gotten close," he was sweating now, no one assumed her ladyship's business, not to her face, "and you've been happier for it."

"I'm waiting for you to get to the point, Lieutenant," she drummed her fingers impatiently.

He swallowed hard, "I'm thinking that you know this. That you like him and you're trying to either figure out why, or how to get around it, or something such other, instead of simply letting nature take its course."

She crossed her arms, "And I should do that because?"

"For the reason you hired me, ma'am," he shrugged. "My last two commanders treated me like hell because I didn't confirm to their ideals, but I am who I am, how nature made me, I'm not going to be anything else. Remember what you told me, ma'am, when I came aboard?"

"Yes," she sighed, almost as if she was defeated, not something he'd ever seen from his ladyship, "I told you I didn't care. What you do on your own time has nothing to do with your skill as a navigator, until it does, then we have a problem."

"And I've never let it be a problem," Landis was still terrified, but felt more embolden by the minute.

"No," Lady Jade admitted, "you haven't."

"You and Skywalker," he shrugged, at a loss for words, "you work. It's nature. What you do on your own time has no effect on your ability to be an effective leader."

"It's more complicated than that," she snapped but then her eyes softened in apology.

"No," he shook his head, "no it's not. If you didn't want to be with Skywalker then you would have decided this long ago. Whatever hang ups you have now are just that, hang ups."

Lady Jade stood sharply and bounded forward a few steps, "How dare you make such assumptions!"

Landis flinched, closing his body and cowered slightly to protect himself from any blow. One that didn't come.

"You," she said softly, "you really thought I was going to hit you?"

"Ah," he stuttered, straightening back up, "I, um, yes, possibly?"

She gave a confused laugh, "I've never struck down a single member of this crew, even the ones who deserved it."

It was a realization that had been lost on Landis until that moment, "You're right, ma'am."

Arms flailing wide she gave a strangled, "Why is everyone on this ship so damn afraid of me?"

He rightly bit back the immediate answer that came to mind, then the second more sarcastic one, but instead Landis remembered an observation he had made awhile back, "Not everyone, not Skywalker."

The Lady Jade sat back down in her chair, elbows on her knees, head in her hands, rubbing her temple. A long silence sat between them, Landis not sure what to do but not wanting to risk her ire. Eventually she said, "You can go."

"Thank you ma'am," he nodded, starting to turn to leave, one last bit of boldness eking out, "but if you ask me, I think you need to gather more empirical data."

She lifted her head, staring directly at him with cold eyes, "You tell anyone about this conversation and I'll tell Ptor what you did with Jansom in the closet during Nora's life-day party."

"How did…?" he stood, mouth agape. On second thought, he didn't really want to know. "And you wonder why people are afraid of you."

With that he literally ran to the front door of the apartment, attempting not to stumble as he exited.

…

Mara had to admit, that was pretty amusing seeing him run like that.

But it left her in the same state as before. What to do about Skywalker?

She thought about talking to Gilad but he was so much of a father figure to her that she simply couldn't look him in the eye and ask him about her… sex life. Too awkward.

The Lieutenant did bring up a valid point, Luke Skywalker is the only person she'd met that wasn't afraid of her. Even Gilad had a healthy level of fear, especially after the dark episodes started. But Luke, even knowing what she was capable of, he treated her like she was… normal.

However, that was not a reason to kriff the man.

It was a reason to tell him the truth… about her grandfather. She felt so comfortable with Luke, he was more than just a friend. She could trust him with her darkest secret and so far he more than held up his end on that one, not trying to force any further details or spill it to his family.

But when it came to everything else about the man he quite simply confused her.

Oh, and she hated him. Hated him because he knew her better than she knew herself. Hated him because he cared enough about her to do the right thing. Hated him because he was smart enough to do everything she'd hate him for without actually doing anything wrong.

He was such… such a…

"Gah," she swung her arm and knocked several disks off her desk. The man simply drove her crazy and she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

The Lieutenant was right, she needed more empirical data.

…

Luke passed Landis in the hallway on his way from giving the X-Wing another overhaul. The man was a little pale and shaky, Mara must have been in particular form today. Not that he was in any better shape himself.

It became obvious to Luke on Naboo that he desired Mara, more than a simple crush or object of convenience. There was something between them, a connection, something stronger than that of simple friends.

Luke had a girlfriend once, though they'd been broke up for several months before he was asked to marry Jade. It was the reason his family, okay, his sister mostly, jibbed him so much about his decision to focus on his Jedi training. He liked Tearsi, she was a daughter of one of his mother's friends, they got along great, shared a lot of hobbies… but there just wasn't anything there, no spark even though outwardly she seemed like a perfect match.

It would be unfair to say that one failed relationship ruined him for future ones, but when it was over between them he couldn't see himself in a future like his father's.

But with Mara… there was so much that sparked between them…

She didn't smile often, but when she did it made her whole face light up like a sunrise.

Sighing, Luke went through his personal entrance, straight to his room to shower and change, he smelt like a machine shop. He scrubbed down, dried off, and changed into a shirt, pants, and short robe. Sitting down in his mediation room he once again found himself unwittingly focusing on Mara.

Even after he closed his eyes, he could see her. She was always there, in his thoughts, and in a good way. He cared about her, hoping that she was doing okay, but knowing she needed this space to figure it out for herself.

Hell, he needed this space for himself as well. With everything they'd been doing, the two of them had practically been dating, going to parties, dinners, and not always as part of some function. They spent a lot of time just talking, or watching smash ball, and shared a number of hobbies.

He wasn't sure if what he felt for the woman was on the level of love but he certainly wanted a chance to find out. The problem was that they were already married? It was crazy.

Maybe he was the one who needed time to figure it out. After all, he knew why he wanted Mara, but why was he thinking it in the first place?

Quiet footsteps walked across the reed matted floor Luke sat on, the only person it could be was Mara and she hardly, if ever, invaded his 'personal space'. She probably had something important say and that both thrilled and scared him at the same time.

Oh, Force, what had been thinking, wanting to be with Mara Jade? It made everything so… complicated.

She was in front of him now so he took a deep breath, avoiding opening his eyes because he didn't want to see what kind of mood she was in. He kept the Force tight to him for the same reason.

"Luke?" she questioned.

"Yes—" he barely got the word out when Mara straddled him, kissing him deeply on the lips.

Groaning, he wrapped his arms around the woman, pulling her against him as he returned the kiss, hungrily devouring her mouth. Her hands proceeded to undo the belt of his robe, pushing the clothing back off his shoulders.

Luke managed to disengage his lips, still holding her against him as she kissed down his newly exposed neck. "Mara?" he kicked himself but he had to ask, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She pulled back and gave him a firm look, "I'm gathering empirical data."

He blinked, "What?"

"Shut up," she kissed at his lips, nibbling a bit but he pushed her away, gently and regretfully.

"I want to be sure this is what you want," he revolted against every fiber of his body, someone had to maintain a level of sanity in all this, "there is no going back… to the way it was before."

"Don't you think I know that," she growled at him but he was not fazed by her, then she stared at him for a moment. "You really do care about me, and you're not afraid of me either."

"Yes, I do care about you," he touched her face gently, locks of her hair falling across her face as she bowed slightly at his touch, "and I'm only afraid of losing you."

"You can't lose me," she frowned, "you don't own me."

"That's not…," he stumbled over his words, "that's not what I meant. I don't want to lose our friendship, the ease in which we can talk with each other, what we were before… before the kiss."

She continued to frown, then said, "This kiss?"

Mara leaned into him, softly planting her lips on his and no matter of self control could keep him from moaning, returning the kiss gently, lovingly, wanting to drink her in. Eventually it had to end and she pulled back, much to his body's annoyance.

"Luke," she said the word tenderly, "we already can't go back, and if we don't go forward we will drive ourselves either to anger or madness, maybe both."

He looked at her sadly, knowing she was right. And what's more, she had it figured out in her mind. She was a woman of order and while their bodies seemed wrapped in a chaos of emotions she found her island of reason.

When you can't go back, you go forward and see where that takes you.

"I can't promise you tomorrow," she said, cupping his face in her hands, fighting back tears, "but I want tonight."

His heart fell but he knew that it was the most he could hope from the woman in front of him, a woman so very broken. "Then we have tonight."

Their lips met again, hands traveling up and down the lengths of each other's bodies, passion growing between them. Pulling apart just long enough to stand, both flush, breathing heavily… his bed was closer but hers was nicer, bigger.

"Luke," she said hoarsely as he started to lead her out of the room, her voice sexually charged, "I have to tell you something."

"Yes," he ran his hand across her cheek, she was so beautiful.

"I've," she cleared her throat, "I've never done this before."

It took a second for that statement to register and while it stunned him to hear it out loud it hardly surprised him. The thought that he would be her first both thrilled and terrified him. Unfortunately she would not be his first, that belonged to Tearsi, and he suddenly felt very protective of the woman in front of him.

Her face turned into a scowl, "You give me any nonsense now, Skywalker, and I will end you."

And that's why he found her so… her.

Grinning he swept her up into his arms, Mara giving out a little yelp from the sudden action.

"No nonsense," he whispered into her ear, "never again."

Author's Note: So, yeah, the next chapter is going to be a little later than usual, that's because I'm not sure what Chapter 22 will be. You see, originally Chapter 22 was written a 'bonus NC-17 (M-Rated) chapter' that I PM'd to people on JCF upon request. I thought about perhaps doing that again here, or maybe ignoring that the chapter ever existed, or editing it down to a T rating. I've already gotten some comments from readers who knew the chapter was coming and I'm very mixed on the subject. I'm going to be brutally honest and say that I always thought of it as 'not my best work' as my M-rated stuff goes, hence why I've been unable to decide, but it did get a positive response on JCF originally.

I'm going to take a few days to think on it, please let me know your thoughts, both those who have read it on JCF or the new readers, either via feedback or PM.

Thanks again for reading! I promise to not take too long to decide, a week at the most (probably less than that).