Coming Home

~insanity and co~

Chapter Twenty-One: "Relief and Fat Jokes"

The climb down the mountainside was a blur of fear and vertigo and trying to keep it all together and under wraps. I was well aware of the fact that being a woman made me appear weaker to the rest of the Company, and I didn't want to add fuel to that sexist fire by crying. Only Cody seemed to notice that I was another slip away from a complete and utter breakdown, and I was firmly in the belief that it was a sheer miracle no one else had noticed. If that was what kept his trap shut then I would have to learn how to recreate whatever expression was doing the trick. I had heard enough about the view of the Lonely Mountain and the Carrock and Mirkwood...the names meant very little and the thought that if I did look up and trip I would die kept me from being a touristy idiot like Cody.

It felt like forever of shuffling and carefully stepping over an uneven pathway before it opened up and by the time the sun was completely down we had made it to trees.

I found myself beside Ori, having dropped to the ground and declared my love of all things sturdy and unmoving and un-cliff-like. At least I wasn't completely alone...Ori wasn't as loud about his appreciation for solid ground as I was but the knitted fingers of his gloves gripped the moss like he would fall right into the sky otherwise all the same.

"We're moving on," a voice said. It sounded like Kili or Fili and since I wasn't kicked rudely in the ribs I could guess it wasn't Cody, but I didn't want to tilt my head to look. My nose was pressing uncomfortably into the dirt and the grass was a little too cold but it was ground.

"Nooo," I groaned. "So comfy. So tired."

I turned my head and frowned, relaxing more into the ground and tensing when I saw that Fili, kneeling between Ori and I, was grinning a little too widely.

"If you are too weak to move on, several of us can carry you."

I was quiet for a moment until his words hit me. They were very expected from Cody and I had to check again to make sure it was the blonde dwarf I was talking to.

"Oh my god," I said slowly, lifting my head off the ground. He did very little to hide his smirk. "Did you just make a fat joke? Did you just call me fat?"

The pitch of my voice could probably break ear drums. I was sitting up now, slowly getting to my feet because there wasn't anything less intimidating than a woman who couldn't even keep her balance.

"Oh shit." Cody was not far off, and had either heard the comment or saw my reaction to it. "Hell hath no fury like a pissed off Holly-kins, dude!"

"I only meant it as a jest, based on how you and your friend converse," he said, smile having faded just a little and I wished more than ever at that moment that I was my normal height. Coming up to someone's nose and having to glare up wasn't as effective.

Then, in all my tired and irritated and relieved-ness, I realized something that brought me up short before I opened my mouth with a sharp retort about his mustache-braids at the ready. (Really, who else but girls braid their hair? Actually...best not bring up braids amongst a mass of muscly and irritated braided men covered in weapons.)

This was very normal for Cody and I; one throws an insult and we wrestle or punch each other until apologies are made (most of the time) and we feel better about the other by the end of the day (not always most of the time). I could usually hold my own in a fight against Cody. His arms were weak but I didn't have as much stamina...we balanced each other out and it made it fun.

Fili was very far from Cody.

This was a dwarf that killed orcs without blinking an eye...a dwarf that was willingly heading out into the wilderness to fight a dragon. I had very very little chance – let's just be honest, I had zero chance – of winning in any form of fighting. Unless he let me win, of course, but I didn't want to count on the laws of 'let the girl win' being universal.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Cody asked - not-so-nonchalantly brushing mass amounts of grass from his clothes - mouth opening and closing like a fish and looking between the two of us. "If I had said that you would have floored me by now!"

He was offended that I wasn't throwing fists? I could throw fists...but he was a little too far away and could probably disappear before I lunged over. I huffed and turned away from Fili. He might win in a fight but he had never faced a girl who had mastered the angry-silence-guilt-trip-of-doom.

"If you're looking for a fist I can help you find one," I said, voice as sugary sweet as I could possibly make it without throwing up.

"Come on, short stack, everyone's leaving," Cody said, followed by a nervous laugh when I didn't share his grin.

"I'm not short," I pouted, letting my shoulders sag and followed Ori, who had been pulled to his feet by his brothers and shuffled along behind the line of dwarves further into the forest.

A/N: I'm not dead, I swear! I don't even think a "sorry" makes up for the long wait on this, and I know it's short but I've been needing to get SOMETHING out here for a while, plus I've been dying to add some more Fili/Holly into this story. I jumped back into school after a rough breakup and realized (again) how difficult learning about the human body is. Seriously...it's not like "here's a hand, here's a foot", it's "here's the alveoli and here's how they work and here's the chemicals and hormones and enzymes involved and here's the...OH, and you'll be tested on this tomorrow". Ahh! Writing just kind of flew out the window as my time was eaten up by studying and classes (and yes, a new boyfriend). I hope this little bit was a reminder that I'm not dead, I'm trying to keep writing, and maybe R&R? :) I'd understand if you're all mad, though.