I do not own Wings of Fire. I also do not own Yoda.
THE FORKEDAMBER TALK SHOW
SEASON ONE, EPISODE TWENTY-ONE
Clearsight and Fathom
Amber: Welcome to the Forkedamber Talk Show!
Forkedblade: Ooh, you know what I should totally do! WRITE A THEME SONG FOR OUR SHOW.
Amber: Please don't. I don't like listening to you sing, and you sing all the time in the shower.
Forkedblade: I DO NOT.
Starflight: Dragons don't have showers. That's a scavenger thing.
Amber: ANYWAYS, let's get on with today's episode. Please welcome Prince Fathom…and Clearsight!
Darkstalker: YOU BETRAYED ME, CLEARSIGHT.
Clearsight: I know I did.
Fathom: Go stuff your snout in a mountain, would you? And relax! This is just a show. It doesn't mean Clearsight and I are in love. Right, Clearsight?
Clearsight: Uh…
Fathom: Clearsight! Say no!
Darkstalker: YOU BETRAYED ME, CLEARSIGHT.
Amber: Okay, well, Fathomsight is kind of a cute ship, but honestly I prefer Darksight for Clearsight, and I like Fathom with Indigo. BUT, without further ado, please allow Forkedblade to read to you the very first question!
Forkedblade: (singing) Duh duh, duh, duh duh duh!
Amber: What in all of Pyrrhia was THAT?
Forkedblade: That was the music that signaled that the first question was about to be asked.
Amber: WE DO NOT NEED MUSIC. JUST READ THE QUESTION, YOU INSUFFERABLE IDIOTIC FOOL WHO ONLY RESEMBLES A DRAGON BUT IS REALLY A SCAVENGER IN A DRAGON COSTUME. I DO NOT KNOW WHERE I GOT THAT IDEA FROM, BUT I'M GOING TO ROLL WITH IT.
Forkedblade: Um…okay? Fathom, can you give us a recount on how you discovered you were an animus?
Fathom: Well, the other SeaWing dragonets and I all went to the beach for an animus test, because our queen, Queen Lagoon, wanted to test the dragonets for magical powers. As you probably know, her brother, Albatross—
Most SeaWings and other dragons: *Shudder*
Amber: FOR THE LAST TIME, HE HASN'T DONE IT YET AND IT WASN'T HIS FAULT...ENTIRELY.
Albatross: Thanks.
Fathom: —was also an animus, and Queen Lagoon wanted to see if there were any others in the tribe. Albatross didn't think so, but he agreed to test us anyway. So all the dragonets got a coconut, and we were told to tell it to fly over and hit Albatross. Everyone else did as they were told, but I, um, asked my coconut really nicely to fly over and hit my grandfather…but then Indigo told me that I had to be firm when giving orders and that coconuts did have feelings, so I told the coconut again and it flew over and hit Albatross.
Forkedblade: Interesting. Clearsight, do you wish you were an animus dragon?
Clearsight: Three moons, no.
Forkedblade: I have a joke!
Amber: What? A joke is not written in the script. For what purpose is a joke needed?
Forkedblade: No purpose. Clearsight just mentioned the moons, and I remembered it! Ahem, how do you know the moons are going broke?
World: *Silent*
Starflight: Moons don't use money. That's a scavenger thing.
Clearsight: *Pitying* Uh…because they start taking loans out of the bank?
Starflight: Dragons don't have banks. That's a scavenger thing.
Fathom: Uh…um, er…because they start asking you for money?
Starflight: Moons don't use money! THAT'S A SCAVENGER THING!
Fathom: I'm trying to answer the question, okay?
Amber: I refuse to partake in whatever this is.
Forkedblade: Because they're down to their last quarter! (Starts laughing hysterically)
(Crickets chirp. The audience looks around at one another with confused glances, dragon-brows raised, a little fearful for the NightWing host's sanity.)
Yoda: Awkward this is!
(Crickets continue to chirp, until an unnamed SandWing decides to eat them for lunch.)
Amber: That was most definitely the most ludicrous joke I have ever had the pleasure of hearing—or in this case, shall I say the un-pleasure of hearing.
Clearsight: Yeah, I second that.
Fathom: And I third that.
Audience: And I fourth that.
Forkedblade: I am injured! (Runs away, ashamed)
Amber: Good, he is gone. It pains me to know that I am associated with an imbecile such as he. But oh! What is cannot be altered, so I must suffer silently, with my head up and a smile upon my face, as I demand answers from the noble and romantic dragons that set talon upon my famous stage for the purpose of entertaining a most enraptured audience.
Clearsight: Wow. Hearing her talk like that is almost more confusing than all the visions of the future that I experience.
Amber: Oh, my dear goodly dragon! You have brought us speedily to my next question to you. Pray tell, what is it like to see so many delicate futures spiraling out before your very eyes, with the knowledge that a single choice will blot out the existence of hundreds of possible tomorrows?
Clearsight: Uh…headache worthy, I suppose, if I understood your question correctly. You were asking about all my ability to see many futures, right?
Fathom: Oh, that's what she was asking. I thought she wanted to know how to make jellyfish casserole with steamed cockroaches.
Clearsight: That sounds disgusting.
Amber: You please me with your answer, my dear NightWing.
Deathbringer: I think Amber's gone crazy.
Smolder: Really, I thought she was just insane.
Amber: You offend me with your harsh words, dear sirs, for I am neither crazy, nor insane! I beg of you to speak more kindly to a dragoness such as myself!
Fathom: *Jumps in front of camera* Well, seeing as Forkedblade is unavailable and Amber is talking like some weird dragon from the dawn of time, I'll be the one concluding today's episode of the Forkedamber Talk Show!
Amber: Pardon me, dear sir, but only I on this stage am permitted to do so.
(Cue Forkedblade's song, entitled fittingly as "What Happened To The Hosts?" tying in perfectly with the strange going-ons on stage. Many thoughts were flying around, such as, Why is Amber talking like that? Where did Forkedblade go? The most treacherous thought of, Forkedblade's joke was actually really funny, and others such as I want cows for lunch, Winter and Moon, sittin' in a tree, Huh, you know, I actually like Moonbli better than Winterwatcher, and Awkward this is.)
Amber: AGH! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING WITH THE CACOPHONOUS SOUND OF FORKEDBLADE'S ATTEMPT AT CLASSICAL MUSIC!
Clearsight: Thanks for watching everyone! We'll see you tomorrow! I have absolutely no idea who's going to be on, so you definitely want to stick around.
Fathom: Now, let's get out of here.
Clearsight: I second that.
Darkstalker: YOU BETRAYED ME, CLEARSIGHT.
Author's Note: Yay! I reached the twenties! I'm so happy. Again, I am soooooooo infinitely sorry that I did not post yesterday...so that is why I posted twice today! I hope you enjoy the episodes! I'm very sorry, this one got a little bit strange...Poor Forkedblade, though. I thought he told a great joke! I guess others just don't appreciate his sense of humor...
Anyway, thanks so much for the reviews! And yes, like it said in the episode, there will be a second season of the Forkedamber Talk Show, so that, of course, means I need more ideas! Any feedback is always welcome, as always. Thanks for being awesome, everyone!