Chapter 21 – Family Feuding and Memory

Lizzy was looking out the window of the Laird's chambers at Lallybroch. It was odd. She truly felt that she belonged. It was the first place she had felt so outside of Cleves. She had sat as the servants moved all the things out of the room, changed the sheets, and saw a fire going.

Lizzy heard a grunting at the door and saw Jamie coming into the room carrying the large heavy chest. "Taing a Dhia!." He said as he carried it in and set it at the foot of the great bed. He lifted the lid and removed his weapons and his tweed coat he normally wore since he now wore his shirt, kilt, and vest only. He put his dirk back on his belt as he laid his sword near the fireplace. His sporran was still on him. He then lifted the light rapier that he had fashioned for Lizzy.

"Mrs. Fitz missed wee. See she packed yer sword."

She took it and looked at the thin bladed sword. While the dirk she carried was nearly too heavy, this was perfect and flexible. Compared to Jamie's broadsword it looked like a fine steel twig and compared to the mighty claymore he could wield, it looked like a child's toy, but it suited her lithe form much better.

Lizzy smiled and looked in. "Our clothes." She lifted the a small pouch. "Your mother's pearls."

"Yer pearls." He reminded softly watching her.

There were also the heavy sacks of gold she had buried in the clothing. She smiled. Everything that was of their possession was there. She then took out the jet rosary from the pocket of her dress and laid it within and then shut the lid.

"We will have to bury the coins to keep them safe."

"Aye." He said. It was a large fortune. Her dowry price, something he felt he could never claim and had had Ned make it fully her own to do as she liked with, but the princess sum would help them if time was tough.

He watched her. All that they were was in that chest and he was happy to see that it was so little. They were not for material things, more on love, trust, and mutual being.

"You missed the Wirbelwind." She said setting the great arisaid on the bed as he looked up at her.

"Th' whit?" He asked as he looked back over his shoulder taking a breath as he then closed the door.

"The servants. They came in and tore through here like dervishes." She said. "I'd barely turned my back, and they had cleared away all of Jenny and Ian's things."

He looked about the room. The wall paper was blue and white and it matched the drapes on the great canopy bed that dominated the room.

Alex was sleeping in a drawer. It would work well for him until Jamie could find a cradle for him. The lad slept, softly snoring as Lizzy sat looking up at her husband as he looked about the room.

He leaned against a chair back. "Tis a'maist exactly howfur ah mind it." He said. "Mah faither aye hud a book ower thare." He said pointing to a small table in the corner that had candles and a mirror. "Open tae th' page he wis reading. Hummm." He walked to the fireplace. "'n' he used tae pat his bits 'ere." He said. "Hummm."

He looked back at Lizzy who was watching him, smiling softly. He moved then to the bed. "'n' he used tae keep his...keep his ..." He knelt down and reached under the bed. "Seo." He said softly and there was a faint clinking sound of metal and he pulled something free. "Ah...his blade."

He lifted it up revealing a wrapped pommel viking sword. He held it reverently and then passed it to his wife who took it, looking at it.

"It's beautiful. It's Viking isn't it?" She asked.

"Aye. Five-lobed pommel. Tenth century." Jamie said still knelt at the side watching her handle his family's heirloom. The fact it had remained there, told him Jenny had no idea it was hidden there. He smiled to himself on that.

Lizzy looking it over. "Well made." She put her finger on under the blade below the pommel. It balanced on her finger. "Extremely well balanced." she said. She then flicked her hand in an expert move and caught the pommel before it could drop and rolled her wrist with it. "A treasure." She said as she laid it on her knees.

Jamie had watched her. It was strangely exotic to have a woman who could handle weapons as well as he could. Her father, or as she had admitted to him, her brother, longed for a son and heir and so made due with his strong willed child in his care. Lizzy had clearly been a good study and her small size would normally be thought to be a disadvantage, but she had learned to use it well as he had seen with his own eyes.

He joined her on the chest, sitting beside her, smiling as he looked about. "A'd hardly tiptoe in 'ere as a laddie, sae sacred wis th' laird's room ." He smiled. "Bit a'd slip in whin he wis oot in th' fields juist tae haud it fur a few moments." He said reaching and taking the blade from her. He held it straight out from himself and looked down the sleek blade. "Dream o' th' day it wid be mines." He rolled it about and the sun glistened on in.

"It is your's now, Jamie." She said patting his thigh.

He rolled it down and put the tip to the floor. "Ours." He corrected softly smiling at her.

"Ours." She nodded.

"'n' mah faither, bult` this steid, ye ken." He stood up and laid the sword on the bed and then moved slowly toward the window. "His blood 'n' sweat ur in this stane. This land." He leaned against the windowsill, looking out across the fields to the tower that gave the estate it's name. "'n' noo his bones ur as weel." He said softly with regret. "Thay buried him oot in th' graveyard." He said nodding to a small bare place on the crest of a hill. "Neist tae mah mither 'n' mah brothers willie 'n' rabbie." He said softly.

She took a breath. "When was the last time you saw your father?" She asked.

He took a slow breath. "'twas at fort William a week efter a'd bin flogged th' foremaist time."

Lizzy gasped realizing he had seen his father last the day before the events that had brought them together had happened.

She was jarred suddenly at the realization. She remembered all of it clearly, as he no doubt did as well. Being captured, being back handed to keep her silence. She realized she had met Brian Fraser, though she had no idea she had when he had come, hearing the horses. He had tried to save her, but failed.

She swallowed. She was brought to Fort William and thrown into a cell with Jamie. There were other cells naturally, but it was as though Randall wanted her reputation to not just be ruined, but obliterated.

In a cell, left to be so cold she nearly froze to death, with a man whom she would later allow rape her to save her from Randall, and then to be flogged and fainting from blood loss. Dougal had come a couple days later to rescue them. Both had been in such pain and he had cared for them. The child that came, was Jamie's no question, but which time he had fathered Ellen was a moot point. From their marriage on they had built their relationship on love and trust, which had been tested, by God had it been tested, but love and trust prevailed and they pair of them were strong.

Still, it had in part worked to ruin her. No one other than Jamie would have taken her after. If she had returned home, rumors would have spread and she would to have remained out of the view of the public for a time until they died.

Thankfully Jamie had taken her to wife.

She took a breath and looked at him as he spoke softly to her. His voice soft and distant. He remembered looked at her as he spoke.

"Jamie." Brian Fraser said as two guards held Jamie upright between them. He looked at his pale son as he stood before him.

"Faither. Whit urr ye daein' 'ere?" Jamie asked wincing.

"Haein a word wi' Captain Randall." Brian said. "Trying tae see if we cuid git ye oot." His father said. "Ye 'n' th' lass"

"Th' lass?"

"Th' young lassie wha cam tae th' property in th' deid o' nicht seeking hulp." He said. "Bit randall teuk her wi' him, ah cuid nae stoap him..."

"Katerina?" Jamie asked. He blinked startled his father knew of the lass who shared his cell and had tended his hurts and been against his body for warmth. She was so small, so fragile and delicate. This place was not for the likes of her. What had she done to be there? It still was a mystery to him.

"Aye. Na lassie shuid be in a steid lik' this." He looked at his son. "Neither shuid ye."

Jamie struggled to stay upright. "A'm sorry fur th' hail damn mess." He took a breath. "Ye left me in charge, 'n' noo Jenny's..."

"Whit haes happened insae yer fault." Brian took a breath and looked at his young son. "Ah ken ye wur flogged."

Jamie stirred restlessly. His wounds still pained him.

"Ah will be a' richt."

"Captain Randall is waiting." one of the Redcoat men said.

"No." Jamie gasped.

Brian turned as they pulled Jamie around the other Scotsman. "This is ma son. Hae ye na compassion?" They took a breath and paused and then nodded a little. Brian stepped closer to his son. "Mind tae pray. 'n' ah will staun by ye, na maiter whit happens."

He moved forward suddenly and took his son by the shoulders and kissed his cheek. He stepped back as the guards pulled Jamie away. Jamie watched his father in confusion, but went willingly.

"Ye'r a braw lad son!" Brian called, desperate to give him something to hold on to.

They pulled Jamie away and down a hall.

They came to an office where he was made to sit. He grunted in pain and then looked about. Randall sat beside him.

Without looking up and without preamble, Randall spoke. "I just met your father." He was looking over some documents. "He's worried about you. I'm afraid he was disappointed when I told him your charges are of such a serious nature you cannot be bonded without a written letter of clearance from the Duke of Argyll." He looked up and cleared his throat. "The thing is, even if he does succeed in getting such a clearance, which I doubt, it would be impossible for him to make it back in time."

Jamie sat there, listening.

"And the young woman you have been in a cell with. She is a traitorous whore and will be dealt with for what she has done. Even he cannot save her." He looked at Jamie. "So..."

Jamie looked at him, jaw set as he remained still.

"It's a shame that you and I got off to such a poor start." Randall said sitting back.

Jamie looked out the window, leaning against the wall. "Ainlie a week afore, he's hud me flogged near tae death." He looked at his wife. "'n' juist efter that, he brought ye. Ye wur sae wee 'n' sae cauld. Ah hud na idea whit ye hud dane tae be thare, bit ye shored me hulp sae ah did th' identical. It's a wonder th' wounds didnae mak' ye feart or nauseous." He looked up at her. "Didnae ken, ah coudnae jalouse whit he wis talking aboot then. 'n' he bandied wurds aroond a while. He likes tae dae that."

She nodded. "Yes. I think it is how he disarms you."

He looked back and then back out the window. "Aye." He said nodding. "Likes tae play his toys." He turned and sat down in the window then. "Bit in th' end, he wis ferr blunt aboot whit he pure wanted."

"Which was what?" She asked. "He had me there. He could have forced me at any point."

"Aye." He took a breath. "Bit 'twas me. He wanted me." His face looked haunted by the memory of it.

"It's quite simple. Give over to me, make free of your body, and there will be no second flogging." Randall said watching Jamie as the younger man looked at him dumbfounded. "You and the young slut you have befriended."

Jamie looked away and his looked about.

"And if not..." Randall cleared his throat. "Well..." He rose and went to Jamie's side. Jamie was bound and sat perfectly still even as Randall lifted a hand toward the bloody shirt. He pressed a finger, gently against the abused flesh and Jamie gasped in pain, eyes widening.

Jamie had moved while talking to the to heavy mantle. He leaned against it. "Th' foremaist stripes wur aye raw oan mah back. Ah cuid scarce bear mah sark 'n' ah felt dizzy ilka time ah staun up." He looked back at his wife, sitting there, quietly listening to him. "Th' thought of...of gaun thro' that a' again..." He shook his head. "Bein' bound, helpless, waiting fur th' neist lash..." He looked at her. "Ye weel ken th' feeling ." He looked at her.

She shivered a little. She had suffered less than a quarter what he had, but still it ached to think on. "I had thirty to your over two hundred. To this day I have no idea who you made it though that." There were tears in her eyes. "When they brought you back...you were so bloody..." She swallowed. "I ached more for you than my own hurts." She looked down a tear dropping onto her hands in her lap.

"Ah hud na real idea, o' coorse, but...i thought bein' buggered wid be less painful." He said folding his arms. "'n' be ower quicker, maist likely." He sighed. "'n' he said, a'd be set free th' identical day, sae..."

He then looked down. "Sae...Ah considered it." He said.

Lizzy shook her her head and rose. She went to him and wrapped her arms about him, lying her head against his chest. Slowly his arms came about her.

"But...i cuid aye cop mah da's winch oan mah cheek." He said. He caressed her back softly as she looked up at him. "'n' thought whit wid he think o' me...not th' buggery, he'd nae gie that a thought or a care, but...for giein' in. Fur letting that jimmy break me." He took a breath. "Sae ah coudnae dae it." He said softly. "Even whin he shored tae free ye as weel. Ah cuid nae dae it." He said. "Forgive me that."

She nodded. "Of course." She said softly. She could not hold that against him. In fact she would have been more unnerved to hear about him giving himself to Randall than him refusing to, at not only peril to himself, but her as well.

He nodded and brought his hand up around the back of her head and kissed her brow as his fingers got lost in her hair.

"Dougal wis thare, at th' flogging. He gawked us baith be flogged efter randall tried tae break me anither wey, forcing a young lass. He didnae think ah wid hae th' nerve tae dae it, bit whin ye begged, ah cuid refuse ye nothing, even if it meant forcing yer body wi' mah ain. Ah kin ne'er ask forgiveness fur that." He looked down at her face.

She looked up at him. "The momentary pain was better than the agony he would have wrought if he had done it and forced you to watch."

He nodded solemnly, knowing she was right. He took a breath then."Whin that failed he flogged us baith tae mak' sure ah knew he hud won, bit ah refused tae gie in. Ye suffered tae."

"I do not blame you." She said. "He is a Black bastard." She hissed.

"Aye." He took a breath. "Mah faither wis thare tae, though ah didnae ken it at th' time." He took a breath. "Ah fell halfway thro'. He thought ah wis deid." He took a breath. "Dougal said he let oot a wee sound, 'n' dropped lik' a rock. 'n' didnae git up again."

Jamie moved around his wife to the chair and sat down heavily in it.

"You never told me." She said as she moved to his side and dropped to sit before him.

"Ah didnae see it." He took a breath, his face sad. "I didn't see him die." He looked at her. "Didnae see him taken awa'." Lizzy was looking up at him, her face full of concern and love. "Didnae see him buried." He said. "Ne'er even seen his kist."

Lizzy reached up and caressed his knee. "Even if you had given in to Randall, do you think it would have made any difference?"

"It wid hae spared ye."

"Are you so sure? He enjoys the pain of others, Jamie." She said.

He regarded her.

"And don't you think he would have still had us dragged out into that yard and flogged us just for the sick pleasure it gave him?"

He took a breath. "We'll ne'er ken." He said softly, but he knew she had a point.

There was a knock at the door. Jamie turned to look as did Lizzy.

"Howfur lang does it tak' a body tae dress?" Came Jenny's voice. "Supper's nae aff tae keep."

Jamie laid his head back with a heavy sigh. He then smiled and rolled his head forward to look at his wife, love of his wife, whom he had met riding on his property, whom he thought orginally was an intruder, a male intruder looking to rob them, but no, it had been a lass with a fiery temper. Then found he cared for her in a jail cell. From there their lives had become intertwined so much that he could not bear to think of life without her.

He smiled. "We shuid gang git cleaned up." He said.

She nodded. He rose to his feet and took her hand. He pulled her to her feet and then Alex started to fuss. The knocking had woken him. Lizzy smiled and moved to feed the lad. If she fed him now he would sleep a good couple more hours, leaving them free to have their supper.

Jamie moved about, washing his face, and shaving as he watched his wife nurse their son. She pulled off the petticoats with one hand and then she untied the chemise. It fell to the floor in a whisper of cloth as she stood, naked as she continued to nurse.

He blinked amazed as she moved about holding the lad to her as she opened the chest and found a dress that would work.

Alex was done in short order and Jamie took the lad and a small bit of cloth so Lizzy could dress in a dress that befit the mistress of an estate. He watched as she dressed with practiced ease and he smiled. She was beautiful and his. They would weather the storm no matter what happened.

She looked back at Jamie setting their son back into his crib. The boy had been fed and changed and now would settle back to sleep.

He held his hand to her as he straightened and they walked together to the door. He opened and they walked out, leaving it open so if the baby cried, someone would hear him.

They walked down the stairs hand in hand.