Author's Note: Sorry for not posting in a while. I have finals I have to study for which is never fun. Who cares though, it's all worth it because, summer is almost here! AH! So in honor of this soon to be vacation, you get another chapter. Hope you enjoy! Happy Memorial Day!

''Mom's visiting today, you know that right?'' Cecilia stares at me waiting for something.

''Yea, I know.'' I watch my whole family watching me with careful eyes.''You don't have to look at me like that.'' I speak up.

Everyone looks away from me, going back to trying to look busy. I would've been mad but then I remember what we've all been doing during my visit. The last few days have been spent doing family stuff, laughing, and staying close to each other. I decided to not get upset but the tension was noticeable in the air this morning. It was Friday and my mom was coming for a visit. Everyone bit their tongues around me keeping their eyes steadily glaring at me. They were wondering what I was thinking. I was scared and nervous about her coming. I didn't know how I exactly felt though with her having another kid. How was I suppose to be? Was there a right and wrong way to feel?

''I can't wait to see Mama. I hope she'll be happy to see you too Livia.'' Reese says shaking my arm.

I keep quiet not knowing how to explain my relationship with our mom to Reese. I don't know what she'll do when I'm here, I don't know what I'll do.

''Yea, I hope so too.'' I whisper.

''She's suppose to be here at one right?'' Ethan asks excitedly.

''Yep, at one.'' My grandma says with her back to us. I can see her shaking her head ever so slightly as she's cleaning up dishes.

I excuse myself from my family and head up stairs to my room. I close the door and slide down to the floor. I feel the tears start to come and I cry. I put my hand over my mouth to cover up my cries. All I ever wanted was a mom, and now that I'm getting one I don't know who'll I'll be or what to do anymore. I close my eyes tight and feel my tears fall down my face. I count my breaths... one...two...three...four...five. I open my eyes and I feel better. I stand up and wipe my eyes. Instinctively I look over at the clock. It's already 1:20, how did the time go by so fast? I was sitting here and then...

''Mommy!'' I hear Reese yell.

I open my door and peer down the hallway. I listen for anything, all I can hear is muffled voices. I can hear her though, her voice seeming to be the loudest.

''My kids! Let's see there's Reese, Cecilia, Ethan, and? We're missing one.''

''Livia's upstairs, um... she's working on a stress exercise. I'll go get her.'' I hear my grandmother lie.

Her footsteps soon follow and I run back into my room and jump on my bed. I see my grandma walk through my door and give me a smile.

''Your mom's here Livia.''

''I know.''

I stare down at my hands while my grandma looks around my room.

''She still loves you Livia.''

''I know.''

She comes and sits next to me grabbing my hand. I meet her gaze and she gives my hand a squeeze.

''Well Livia, let's get through this visit together.''

She lets go of my hand and gets up off the bed and stands in front of me. She offers me her hand and I take it. She pulls me up to her and gives me a little shove towards the door. I start walking down the hallway towards the stairs. I stop at the top of them and try to tell my legs to move. I feel my grandma's hand on my shoulder.

''No matter what happens today Livia, you always have my love.''

I nod my head looking back down at the steps I have to take. I move my feet and the rest of my body follows. I step down into the downstairs hall and follow the voices I'm hearing. I walk into the living room and see my whole family sitting there. My mother looks up at me and I take her in. Her stomach is much bigger now. She looked a lot bigger than 4 months. Or maybe it was me. She cut her hair short, to her chin. Her dyed blonde hair was turning brown at the roots. She wears a t-shirt and some jeans, nothing special. I look down at myself, I'm wearing a white lace crop top with a pale yellow maxi skirt. Did I dress up too much? Did I look presentable? Was I a suitable daughter for her.

''I got her.'' My grandma states walking over to sit on the couch next to my grandpa.

''I see.'' My mother spits out.

Everyone sits in an awkward silence. I look at my mom the whole time waiting for something. She looks down at her hands biting her lip. We stay like this for 10 minutes until I've finally had enough.

''Really?'' I ask annoyed.

She doesn't look up, she just keeps looking down.

''Anything?'' I ask louder this time, still glaring at her.

She still sits not saying anything. I let out a loud huff, why was she doing this?

''Mom!'' I shout at her.

She looks up and returns my glare. Her eyes like ice.

''Livia, let's just go.'' Cecilia says getting up and tugging at my arm.

I shake her arm off me and keep my eyes focused on my mom.

''No! I'm done running away from her! I don't know what I did wrong mom!''

''Livia stop.'' Ethan states.

''My whole life you've been running away from me mom! You've always been mad at me! I'm always doing something wrong! Why don't you like me! Why don't you care about me!''

Tears start welling up in my eyes. Reese comes up and hides behind my legs.

''I just wanted you there mom! I want my mommy! I can't take this!''

I'm shaking now and tears are streaming down my face. My mom refuses to even look at me now.

''Livia, please, come with me.'' My grandma pleads.

''Look what's happened to me! I need your help mom! Tell me what I did wrong!''

I push past everyone and walk over to her and get down on my knees in front of her. I place my hands on her, she finally looks up at me.

''I'm begging you mom! Tell me what I did wrong! Say anything! Please!''

She looks down at my hands on top hers. She pulls them out from under mine and I'm left in shock.

''If I leave out of this room without a word from you, I will promise you, I will never see you again.'' I whisper looking at her.

She still sits, she closed her eyes tightly, not saying anything. I get up and make my way out of the living room. I stand in the doorway and look back at her.

''I stayed away because I loved you.'' She whispers, eyes still closed.

''Tell me the truth mom!'' I shout, surprising even me.

She lets out her breath and inhales deeply.

''I won't.'' She says.

I'm lost for words. Was she admitting she was lying?

''Bye mom.''

I walk out of the living room and run up the stairs back to my room. I start packing my bag, refusing to stay here. I hear everyone's footsteps come through my door.

''I love you guys but I'm not staying. I'll see you all next Sunday.'' I push past them with my bag packed.

I walk down the stairs and open the front door. I stop for a minute and then turn back towards the living room.

''I love you mom, but I can't stay, not with us like this.''

I stare at her in silence for a minute before heading out the front door, I slam it shut behind me. I let out a shaky breath and start heading down my driveway. I pull out my phone and call Mrs. Harris, who was now on speed dial. The phone rings four times before I hear her voice.

''Livia? How's everything? Are you okay?''

I try to sound strong but I break down before I can even say anything.

''I'm not okay..'' I whimper. ''Will you come get me? Bring me back to the hospital?'' I plead.

''Of course Livia. I'll be right there. Just stay there okay?''

''Okay...'' I cry.

I hang up the phone and clutch it tightly. I put it away and sit down in the middle of my driveway. I rub the charms on my necklace realizing how much of a lie I was living.

''I'm not fearless, or strong, or passionate, I'm just me.'' I say out loud.

I see a van pull up and I see Mrs. Harris sitting in the driver's seat. I walk over and open up the passenger door and hop in throwing my bag in the backseats in the process. I look back and see two booster seats in the back. It never occurred to me that Mrs. Harris had a family.

''Livia, you're grandparents and mom know you're leaving right?''

''All too well.''

Mrs. Harris backs out of the driveway and starts driving towards the hospital. It's then I remembered what I wanted to do.

''Wait!'' I shout.

''What?''

''Will you take me to my dad's grave?'' I ask.

Without answer Mrs. Harris switches lanes heading towards the graveyard. We get there and I step out of the car. I hold up my hand and tell Mrs. Harris I'll be back shortly. I walk over to my dad's grave and sit down in front of the dirt.

''Here dad. It's what I was going to give to you for your birthday.''

I place a Snickers bar, my dad's favorite, and a tiny little heart shaped rock I had found walking with him on the beach one day. I had managed to grab it out of my room before I left. I never got to give it to him, so I figured I would now. The whole thing made me feel a lot better. I gave my dad's headstone a kiss before heading back to Mrs. Harris's car.

''Thank you Mrs. Harris.'' I say getting into the car.

''Don't thank me, really.''

She starts driving towards the hospital again and this time, I don't say anything. We pull up in the hospital parking lot and we both get out of the car. We make our way through the hospital and she leads us to the nurse's station. I can see Nurse Jackson, Brittany, and Kenji looking at me confused. I see Mrs. Harris whispering to Nurse Jackson, explaining everything. I just stand still waiting for directions.

''I want you to just relax these next two days. I'll have our next appointment be on Sunday, like planned. You came back early so just, hang out and try not to think about what happened today too much.''

''Okay Mrs. Harris. Thanks for everything, it means a lot.''

She gives me a smile before heading over to me and giving me a quick hug. She's leaving before I even have time to react. I watch Mrs. Harris leave before turning to head towards my room. I'm walking down the hall by myself, and I can only imagine how pathetic I look.

''Liv?''

I turn around to see Dash walking over towards me. He pulls me into a hug and smiles at me.

''You're back early.''

''I just couldn't bear to be away.''

Dash looks down at me and frowns.

''Have you been crying? What's up Liv?''

''Nothing...'' I say turning away from him.

''Yo, everyone would want to know you're here. Let me go get them!''

He takes off running before I have a chance to tell him no. I head back to my room and flop onto my bed. My door is left open and I close my eyes and listen to someone coming in and closing the door. I keep my eyes closed.

''Jordi, I just want to be alone.''

I open my eyes and see my mom, I jolt up in my bed and stare at her. I watch her and she starts crying.

''I've been horrible to you. I don't deserve a daughter like you. I'm so sorry Livia. I'm so sorry.''

I stand up and go over and hold her. She falls into me, making me feel like the grown up.

''Shhhhh mom... shhhh...''

''I was so embarrassed, you were always a reminder of the horrible things I've done. I let you grow up alone. I let you grow up being afraid and scared and nervous. I'm so sorry Livia. I'm so sorry.'' She cries harder.

I can feel a lump in my throat grow.

''I love you Livia, I really do. I don't blame you if you hate me.''

''I don't hate you mom, I don't hate you.''

''I wish I could be half the person you are.'' She cries into me.

I look over my mom and see the Red Band Society standing outside my window. Emma and Kara are crying and I see even Leo, Dash, and Jordi choking up.

''You made me who I am mom. I love you.''

She pulls away from me and stares up at me. She smiles and wipes away her tears.

''I'm glad you're still in my life.''

I just nod at her.

''You always know where to find me.'' I add.

''And always know my love, even though it's hard to see, never runs out.''

My main reaction is doubt. I don't believe her, but I know I have to. I have to trust her.

''Okay mom.''