Chapter 21: Still Alive Inside

(My deepest gratitude to Anelir-Sensei (Here you go! And much more good stuff is on the way.), Xx Blood Stained Rabbit-xX (Okay, no more waiting!), snowflowersister of toshiro241 (Not to worry! Heroes will be coming to their rescue soon!), KxZ fan girl (They sure do get into a lot of trouble, don't they?), Shenigmatic (Awww, you're so good to me! Here's a little reward...), Zmeiss (Yeah, I am a little sadistic sometimes, but I yank on my own heartstrings too! Don't worry, Ichigo and Byakuya will be on their way to their little girl and Tetsuya soon!), BlackButlerQueen666 (I am back and working up a storm! Whew! I have been waiting so long to write this chapter and the next. Well, it hasn't taken that long, but it feels like forever when I want to get it all down and just can't type 24/7 without stopping. Ah well...), Caitriona695 (Okay, it's time for some sweet recovery!), Alabirdie (Aww, I am flattered! :) Those were some hard chapters to write too.), and Mrs. Passionate (Ichi and Bya will be on the way to Mikomi soon. Just have to get them back into fighting shape. You're going to love how Ichi nudges Bya forward!) Happy reading everyone! Love, Spunky)

What is this strange feeling?

Why do I still feel?

Why do I still remember?

Did I not die?

"You're not dead," a voice said, somehow penetrating the liquid Byakuya sensed that his body was suspended in, "Although, you were almost there when we brought you here. Do you know where you are?"

Byakuya's eyes opened and he realized a moment later that he was suspended in warm water, and completely naked, but for the bandages that covered a goodly portion of his body and a small white wrap around his waist. He wasn't breathing and he couldn't feel his heart beating.

What is this?

"Hold on a sec," the male voice he had heard before told him, "I think you need one more dip."

Byakuya felt strong arms haul his immobile body out of the water, bringing on a feeling of heaviness and making his head twinge painfully for a moment.

"Off you go!"

The noble gasped at feeling his body being flung into the air. At first, he doubted that he could be experiencing any such thing and he almost concluded that he was in some sort of waking dream. Then, his body crashed down into something thick, red and extremely hot.

He closed his eyes again, not sure what to do as the red liquid clung to him all over, then began to seep inside him through every imaginable opening, down to his very pores. The feeling wasn't fear inducing or even very unpleasant. And as the red fluid was drunk up by his body, he felt a deep throbbing roar to life in his chest. Several minutes later, the arms that had lifted him before, dragged him to his feet and started to toss him back towards the water, then paused as the noble held on and kept his feet.

"Heh, heh!" the man next to him chuckled, "Gonna do this on your own now, eh? Good, I was tired of launching your skinny ass back and forth."

Byakuya's mouth moved and he tried to speak, but instead was forced to expel the liquid that had filled his healing body. He coughed and felt his vision dim, then dropped to his knees in the warm water he had somehow managed to walk into and began to clean away the red muck that still clung to him. He coughed several more times, then drew a deep, painful breath. His dark eyes blinked in surprise as a folded towel was plunked down on his head.

"Sit down," the man next to him said, touching his arm, "before you fall down."

Byakuya sat back quietly, slowly washing away the last of the red liquid and stealing glances at the man sitting next to him.

"Have you remembered me yet?"

"You are Tenjirou Kirinji," the noble said, finally, "Grandfather told me about you."

"And?"

"And you appear to be just as he described you, an outspoken and unpredictable man, but, you will never find a better healer."

"Hah, hah! Good one," Kirinji laughed heartily, "Your gramps is a class act. And he's one hell of a fighter. Must run in the blood, because I wasn't convinced that you were gonna pull through. You surprised me. But then, just because you Kuchiki's look a little too delicate doesn't mean you don't pack a mean bite. And you're gonna have your 'bite' back real soon, you get me?"

"I understand," Byakuya said quietly.

"Good. Then, stand up."

Byakuya took several steadying breaths and slowly stood, then turned to face Kirinji, who had exited the water and dressed while he waited.

"You take long baths," the hot spring demon commented, "That's the longest anyone's been in there. So, how are you? Feeling a bit dizzy?"

"Not to worry," Byakuya said calmly, "I understand. I am not yet strong enough to feel dizzy. But, having survived to this point, I will take the opportunity to acquire a power worthy of making me feel dizzy."

A slow, pleased smile crept across Kirinji's face.

"Good. That's real good. But, before you do that, you're going to need to bulk up a bit. I'll have my brothers take you on over to Hikifune Kirio. She'll have you pepped up and ready to train in no time."

Byakuya looked around the hot springs, his senses beginning to pick up traces of others.

"Rukia? Renji? Ichigo?" he mused.

"Yeah, they were here," Kirinji confirmed, "They weren't banged up as bad as you. Ichigo and Renji were healed up after one night and Rukia took another half a day. You took a couple of days and nights. Had to put in some overtime. That bastard, As Nodt really worked you over, ne? It took forever to clean that nasty reiatsu of his away. You're nice and clean now. Don't go getting too messed up now, okay? I worked pretty hard to keep you alive."

"Why?" Byakuya asked softly, "I was easily defeated by that quincy. Why would his majesty still want me to fight for him?"

The noble blinked in surprise and stared, wide-eyed as the other man grabbed him by the shoulders and glared into his eyes meaningfully.

"Are you stupid or something?" he demanded, his eyes narrowing aggressively, "Like it or not, you and those three are the ones his majesty told us to bring. I don't know why the hell he'd want some upstart who got his ass kicked and nearly died, but that's his prerogative! He ordered me to heal you, I healed you. He ordered the others to bulk you up, dress and train you, and they're gonna do that."

His reiatsu rose until it pressed in on all sides of the noble, making him have to fight to even remain on his feet.

"And when he orders you to go back there and fight, you'd fucking better win this time, or all of this was for nothing! Don't waste my time. Now, get outta here!"

He released the noble and Byakuya staggered back a step, recovering himself. He took a breath and looked back at the riled guardsman.

"I thank you," he said calmly, "I will be certain that I respect the healing that you did by not dying."

Kirinji continued to glare at him for a moment longer, then broke into a hearty laugh.

"That's better," he said, patting Byakuya more gently on the face, "Much better. Now, scram, will you? I have shit to do. Go and make your grandpa proud, okay?"

"Of course," Byakuya answered, nodding briefly and turning away.

"Hey Bro?" queried Kazuo, peeking into the room, "You want us to launch him?"

"Are you kidding?" Kirinji asked derisively, "You'll kill the poor bastard before we even send him back to fight. Take him in the flying carriage. He's practically royalty, for kami's sake!"

"You've got it!"

Kazuo turned and followed Byakuya out the door, pausing to hand him a dark colored yukata to wear.

"You can have this until you've seen Senjumaru-sama."

Byakuya quietly donned the yukata and followed Kirinji's brothers away. Kirinji watched as the noble left, then sighed and looked down into the water, his eyes sad.

"You almost went the way your dad did," he sighed, "I'm just glad I was able to save you. I wonder if you'd hate me if you knew I tried to save Soujun...and failed."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You are doing well, Ichigo-san," Ichibei said approvingly, watching as the Shiba heir completed the prescribed set of exercises, "You are getting much stronger. You are nearing readiness, but it is time to rest a bit."

"Rest?" Ichigo asked, blinking, "But I'm not very tired. I haven't worked that hard, really. I was tired before, but I feel like my energy has increased."

"So it has," the royal guardsman agreed, "But...everyone needs rest, and...there is a task that you must complete before you leave us."

"Oh?" Ichigo said, looking back at Ichibei curiously, "What task is that?"

"He has awakened," explained the guardsman, "And he is on the way to readiness. Kirinji healed his injuries, Kirio filled him with reiatsu and Senjumaru has outfitted him. He has finally come here."

"Byakuya's here?" Ichigo asked, his eyes widening, "Where is he? Can I see him?"

Ichibei chuckled amiably.

"Can you see him? Of course you can see him! He's unconscious, at the moment..."

"Unconscious? But I thought you said he had...?"

"He pushed himself too hard," the guardsman explained, his jovial manner falling away and a more serious look taking over his face, "He is very determined to get stronger. But...there is something he needs desperately...and it is something that only you can give him."

"What's that?" Ichigo asked, staring.

"I will let you figure that out."

"Great!" Ichigo sighed, rolling his eyes, "Another mysterious answer. Don't you guys ever give a straight answer to a simple question?"

Ichibei met his eyes squarely.

"Ask me a simple question and I will give you a simple answer. But if you're question is, why can't Kuchiki Byakuya use his bankai, even after receiving Urahara Kisuke's concoction, that's not a simple question."

"Byakuya still can't use his bankai?" Ichigo asked worriedly, "Why not?"

"I told you, that's not a simple question. Go to him. Discover what he needs that we can't give him and break the barriers so that he can become stronger. Do that and you won't just be helping him, you'll be showing me that you're ready to go back. You have friends and your daughter who need you, ne?"

"Yeah," Ichigo said, nodding firmly, "Byakuya and I both do. Okay, then. I'll go to him. Whatever he needs, I'll find a way to give it to him."

"Good. Go on, then, Ichigo-san. And good luck."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You are doing well," Ginrei said quietly to his unconscious grandson, brushing several misbehaving strands away from Byakuya's troubled face, "You must be patient with yourself, Byakuya. You were nearly killed and must be restored slowly. Do not despair. You will regain your strength and you will become stronger."

His hands gently infused the younger man's body with healing reiatsu.

"You are as determined as ever, my boy," he said proudly, "Do not feel bad about your defeat. Be glad you have lived and that now you can grow more powerful. I foresee a day when you will join us here and serve the king more directly. But, for now, your focus must be on the Seireitei, and on your family. Yes, I watch from up here. And I know how happy they make you. Trust in your love for them to see you through. You will be all right. They will be all right. All will be well in the end. Just keep fighting."

He paused as the door opened and Kurosaki Ichigo stepped into the room. The Shiba heir caught his breath softly, staring at Byakuya's grandfather as Ginrei stood and extended a hand.

"Greetings, Kurosaki Ichigo," he said stoically, "Welcome to Reiokyuu."

"Thanks," Ichigo answered, looking worriedly down at Byakuya, "I came to see how he's doing."

"He is doing well, though he pushes himself too hard sometimes. That is all he has done. He is very concerned with being ready for the upcoming battles. And I know he will do well, once he is ready."

"That's why I'm here," Ichigo explained, "I heard he was having trouble with his bankai."

"Yes, well, always that is a matter of managing the binding of body, mind and heart. All of those things were challenged in him, so it takes time to be fully restored."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, "Yeah, it does."

"Ichigo," said the elder Kuchiki, "There is something I must tell you. Byakuya has not yet been told about the abduction of Mikomi and Tetsuya from Kuchiki Manor, nor about the full horror of what has happened to our clan. You were informed of all of this, and you must find the way to explain to him. He is in a delicate place in his recovery, so best to be cautious."

"Yeah, I'll try."

"Very well," Ginrei replied, rising, "I must be off. I will come again in the morning to see how he is doing."

"Good night."

"Good night, Ichigo."

Ichigo watched the elder Kuchiki leave, then sighed and turned off the lights. He climbed into the bed and laid down, curling his body warmly around Byakuya's and kissing him one soft cheek. His breath caught in his chest as he slid a hand down the noble's left side and laced his fingers together with Byakuya's.

"I'm so glad you're okay," he whispered, nuzzling the unconscious noble's cheek and kissing him again, "It made me crazy inside, thinking I was going to lose you again. I don't know what I would have done if you really had left me. I love you. I really love you. And everything's gonna be all right. We'll make it all right, okay?"

He let out an exhausted breath and rested his face against Byakuya's, surrendering to sleep and not moving again until hours later, when he felt the Kuchiki heir finally stir in his arms.

Byakuya shifted slightly, turning his head and opening his eyes as he realized that he was no longer alone in the bed. His dark eyes widened and his breath caught as he saw who was with him. He parted his lips to speak, only to find his mouth amorously captured by the shinigami substitute's and his slender body gently trapped as Ichigo rolled over on top of him.

He abandoned words then and greeted Ichigo's hard, penetrating kisses hungrily. Powerful reiatsu flickered and flared to life around the two, sending a soft shudder through the room. Impatient hands bared the noble and swiftly prepared him as their voracious kisses continued. Byakuya loosed a soft, pleased moan of deep contentment as their bodies were finally joined.

Still saying nothing, they moved together, dark gray eyes locked on golden brown and keeping their mouths fastened on one another as though breathing each other in. Ichigo's mouth left Byakuya's, but almost instantly, the noble went breathless and panting as the shinigami substitute's warm lips and teeth teased his tender throat mercilessly, then traced a fine collarbone and returned to invade his waiting mouth again.

Their movements and the erotic sounds escaping them intensified and the reiatsu around them throbbed and pulsed fitfully. Byakuya felt as though he had begun to fall from a tremendous height, his graceful body seizing for a moment, then descending into hard, gripping shudders of welcomed release. And the only word that escaped his lips as the pleasure raked his lovely, pale form was his lover's name.

"Ichigo!"

The sound cracked across Ichigo's aching mind, sending him into hard quivers of release. He stopped any further words with an endless barrage of more tender kisses, then nuzzled warmly beneath the sated noble's chin and let the riled reiatsu around them settle. For a long time, neither man spoke nor moved, feeling content to simply lie in each other's arms and be grateful to both still be alive and together. But finally, unable to fathom the younger man's behavior, Byakuya broke the silence between them with a softly voiced question.

"Ichigo, why did you do that?"

The younger man smiled and nuzzled closer, breathing in their mingled scents and loosing a contented sigh.

"I wanted you to know that all's forgiven," Ichigo replied quietly, "I shouldn't have even hesitated in forgiving you in the first place."

"Ichigo..."

"Nothing that you did was done selfishly. You were just trying to think of my feelings and you did the best you could. The decisions you made were difficult and some things were out of your hands. Anyway, what matters is that we're together now, and I am never, ever letting you go again."

"I'm not letting you go either," Byakuya assured him, "Twice we have nearly been parted, but that ends here."

"Right," Ichigo agreed, "Rest some more now, okay? In a few hours, we'll get up and we'll see about getting that bankai of yours under control."

"Ichigo?"

"Shh, don't worry," the shinigami substitute chuckled, stopping his protests with a fresh onslaught of kisses, "People we care about need us to be at our best strength when we go home, so we're gonna do that...no question, ne?"

Byakuya released a soft sigh of surrender and nodded in acceptance.

"Good," Ichigo said, closing his eyes and resting his face against his lover's, "I knew you'd see things my way."

"Like you gave me much choice," Byakuya mused.

"Damned straight," Ichigo laughed, nipping his lips gently, then slowly drifting off to sleep again.

"Ichigo," Byakuya whispered, spiraling back towards sleep as well, "Arigatou."