Series 8 One-shots: Nanny Dearest

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas.

Another JJ one – with Hotch! The two characters I really struggle with. Though that doesn't mean I can ignore them.

. . .

Prompt

Henry: Why did you always go to work Mommy?

JJ: Well . . . Urm . . . because there are people out there that need my help. But I'll be back soon.

. . .

JJ starred aimlessly out of the cabin window, oblivious to the tumbling white cloud around them. Without any realisation of her actions, her fingers drummed slowly on the table. The pages of the open book in her other hand remained unturned. JJ's mind was already home even if her body had many more miles before it could share the same pleasure.

From his usual seat Aaron glanced up from the open file in his hands. The well being of his team was ultimately his responsibility and it was something he took very seriously. Right now he could tell something preoccupied his friend. She had isolated herself from the others as soon as she had stepped on the jet. Her carry-on bag has been dumped in the seat opposite her her, giving a very clear 'leave me alone' message to anyone who wanted to sit near her.

Finally giving in and putting the book down on the table JJ used her now free hand to pinch her nose, trying in vain to ward off the impending head ache that was gradually building behind her eyes. She was physically tired but her mind wouldn't let her rest.

Now watching intently Aaron contemplated his next move. He wanted to talk to her but it was easy to see that her defences were still well and truly up. Even if he managed to get past the physical barriers Aaron knew her carefully built mental defences were a whole different matter. Yet there was something about her state that concerned him. JJ was the sort that rarely showed that things had got to her, yet this evening it was written in bold across her face. No-one could ignore the fact, even if JJ wished them too.

JJ tried lifting the book once more, but the words and letters all blurred into an incomprehensible jumble. She knew she needed to relax, she always promised herself and Will that she wouldn't bring the work home with her. No files, no photos and she tried to make this extend to emotional issues. Yet today she was struggling. JJ wanted nothing more than to be home tucking Henry into bed for herself. Not that she didn't trust Will to do it; she just needed to have her son in her arms. JJ needed to hold him, to see he was alright, in fact that he was more than alright, to see he was perfect.

Closing the manila file, that he was failing to concentrate on Aaron finally stood and made his way through to get a coffee. On his way he checked on the other members of his team. Dave and Spencer had shared the table with him, but were both engrossed in a game of poker. Laid out on the couch Morgan hand his iPod on and his eyes' closed. He passed Blake, who was sat on the opposite side of the plane to JJ reading a battered copy of a linguistics text, simultaneously making notes on a pad of paper. Happy that each person was suitably distracted, Aaron returned with two cups of coffee and hovered by JJ's side.

"Mind if I sit down?" Aaron placed the first coffee down as he spoke, his head indicating towards the seat with her bag on.

"Of course not," JJ replied as she reached across the table for her bag, though her tone made it clear her words were not the truth.

Placing his beverage down Aaron took the now empty seat. JJ watched him, a guarded look on her face as she waited for him to let her know what he wanted.

"Is everything ok?"

JJ glanced rapidly round the cabin, her eyes briefly stopping to check on each of her team mates. Satisfied no-one was aware of their conversation JJ nodded, "I'm fine, just tired."

A single eyebrow raised on Aaron's face before he could help it, "Really?"

JJ let her head drop, she should know better than to try and lie to Aaron. "You are lucky to have Jessica, to look after Jack."

Instantly Aaron knew what this was all about. It had been hard for him too. Like the parents he knew what it was like to know your child was in the hands of a serial killer. So too did JJ. Unfortunately for both their job had led them to put their family at risk. But the issue here was something different. Just like the parents JJ had to leave her son in the care of someone who had once been a complete stranger – Henry's Nanny.

"I am indeed very lucky that Jess has wanted to play such an active role in Jack life."

A weak smile crossed JJ's lips, "But at the end of the day it doesn't make him any safer then Henry. Jo, his Nanny, she's fantastic and he thinks the world of her."

"But . . ." Aaron urged her to continue.

"But . . . she's not me. She's not his Mom. What sort of mother does it make me if something happens to Henry while I am busy saving others?"

Aaron's head dropped briefly, he knew exactly how she was feeling.

"Haley used to say that I put the job first. That there was no point making the world a safer place if Jack didn't know what his father looked like. I learnt the hard way that she was right. Which is why I have changed the way I balance work and my personal life. When I am home, my time is Jack's time. At first I went over the top in an attempt to over compensate for the job and losing his mother, but I soon realised that he appreciated the simple things as much, if not more, then the grand gestures. You know baking cookies, camping out. JJ since you have had Henry you have changed. At work you are still as focused as ever, but when you leave the build you become his Mom. I have seen you mentally switch off from the job as you make your way down to your car. I have noticed your bag is no longer overloaded with case files. What sort of mother are you? In my opinion one of the best. You put Henry first when you are at home. You enjoy the little things like having a kick about in the yerd. You have a relationship with him – you know what he likes, his favourite food, toys, and friends. I am ashamed to say I have known mothers who are home all the time with their child but still don't know that because they aren't taking the time to get to know their child. And I'm not talking about the mothers of an UNSUB, this is some of Haley's friends."

JJ looked back at Aaron, "Thanks."

"Anytime," Aaron stood ready to make his way back to his unread files, "Oh and when you get in, give him an extra hug from me."

JJ smiled as Aaron walked away, glad that she would soon be home once more.

. . .

The balancing act of motherhood and a career, and being a wife, is something that I don't think I'll ever perfect, but I love the challenge of it.

Kerri Walsh