''Feel...''

Sasuke's POV

Even if his mind is blurry and his thoughts incoherent, Sasuke felt surprised when Naruto opened his lips to accept his kiss. And god knew, how much passion and wanting Sasuke put in it.

All those years he never gave him anything, all those years of longing, regret, anger, frustration, depression, agony. All those years of love…All those years and all those feelings he never had the way or nerve to express to his best ''friend'', they were pured so fittingly, so fiercely, so devastantigly into that kiss.

It was as if their mouths were a communication point, where their souls and minds connected. Where their hearts became one. It was as if Sasuke was feeding to him… as if he was giving Naruto his heart's contents. And boy, were they more than he could realize.

Now that he had tasted the blond, he couldn't stop. His heart was in pain from the crazy beating, so fast, so uncontrollable, so intense that to his ears it felt like drums on a parade beating right by his side. He decided at that moment, and yes he wasn't sober, that he wouldn't stop. Now that they had finally opened up to each other, now, no, he wouldn't miss the chance.

And then just like that, as if the celebration around him suddenly took an end and took all the excitement it brought with it, Naruto broke the kiss, pulling back, interrupting the intense silence with his soft voice.

Stop.

This causes onyx orbs to avert to cerulean ones. He is still aware of the tears that are running down his face. And he is also aware of Naruto's doubts, that are portrayed so well into the blond's eyes. And the hand that is pulling against his hair so firmly.
Sasuke knows. It is weird, how drunk he is, yet his thoughts and feelings at that certain moment are perfectly synchronized with the situation.

He both understands and doesn't understand. He could feel Naruto wanting him by the way the other reacted to the heated and unexpected kiss.

But he can't step on solid ground, not now, not ever, when it comes to people's feelings for him. Even if it is for Naruto. And so his heart is clenching painfully insisde his chest, hoping Naruto won't push him away, wont look at him dissaprovingly and tell him this was wrong. He hopes that nothing will change after that. That Naruto's behavior towards him will remain the same, as it always had stayed. He did as he felt, yes. And he took the risks with it. Yes. But his heart was weaker than he thought. And as all gambles and risks, it was a 50/50 case: lose or win.

So what had the raven got? Which one of the two?

He expects for the answer, half heartidly, knowing that behind all his grounded thoughts, all the brave attitude, all the ego he can summon from the depths of his will to pull himself back together after a possible rejection, behind all that lies a loving heart. And a loving heart is vulnerable as a fortress without its walls. It is weak. He is weak. And at that moment, he painfully admits, , to himself that his life will end, should Naruto turn him down. Silently.

He is ready to push back and run out of the room, cursing whatever God gave him the guts to do what he did tonight. Cause if he wants to be honest with himself, alcohol alone wasn't his only motivator. No, it was more than that. It has always been. Everything else, deep down, were excuses. Fickle, pathetic, mundane excuses.
But before his mind is able to dwell deeper into his depressing thoughts of what he fears the most, he feels a pair of soft lips pressing back against his own. And his mind blurs into desire again, losing the little reason it had in the previous brief moments of silence.

He had won. With that, he allows himself to smirk slightly into the kiss, satisfied with himself, happy with Naruto. He doesn't care if this is all wrong. When was the last time he had done something right in his life either way? He is willing to burn his future, on that bed, into the arms of Naruto, even if the aftermath breaks him unrepairably. Because he loves him.

He can feel Naruto's hands tracing the surface on his chest, stroking it softly. And he leans in the touch, not being able to resist its warmth. As if he is a puppet resting lifeless and helpless eternally under his lover's control, and those fingers running on his skin, are his strings, the ones his master has good hold onto, on life and death. The depth of his love , he realizes now, scares him.

No, this isn't a healthy thing. But then again, when had he felt something healthy? Ever since he could remember himself, he always felt things that made him feel like a bad person. Jealousy for his brother, insane antagonism against everyone, hatred for the murderer of his family and later on Konoha on its whole…hatred for Naruto. And…love for Naruto.

How much... have you dr-?

Naruto slowed down, asking him something that didn't make sense to the raven. And in fact, it didn't matter to him. He knew Naruto. He could always read his mind, and he could even now, under the effects of alcohol on his system. He thought Sasuke was going to regret this first thing in the morning.

Sasuke didn't know what would happen after, though. He knew, he was sure he loved Naruto. But he wasn't sure for himself. Even he himself deep down, didn't have complete control over himself, over his thoughts, his actions or his wills. He simply was just like everyone else, human. In the cores of his heart, he was just an ordinary man. He was anyone.

Sasuke arches an eye brow at Naruto, shifting closer. He knows he is acting like a jerk, not caring for Naruto's insecurities. But probably, he hasn't realised the depth of the blond's feelings and maybe he never will, being so thick himself. More like he is afraid to trust.

Thinking Naruto doesn't think of it as important as he does, gives him the necessary motivation to ignore the blond's questions.
Because Naruto, if anything, should know better than that. Don't they say ''Drunken words, sober thoughts.''?

''Tche…Annoying.'' He finally says, but he fails to pull of a mockery expression. He doesn't have that much control. Instead, his face is light up with feeling and need. He can't deny himself anymore what lies in front of him. Sure, he might be a b*****d for that, but what would be of change here? Wasn't he always one?

He takes Naruto's messy locks into his fingers, playing with them, as his form is slightly shaking. He doesn't want Naruto to think this is only the result of the alcohol. Because it isn't. It is Sasuke, loving him.
He leans in closer and his cool breath hits Naruto's face. His nose almost touches Naruto's skin, as he slowly runs his face across Naruto's left side of head. The blond smells deliciously. He can't put a name on that scent. It simply is him. That's enough to spin his world around.

''Hmmm, Naruto…''

He presses his hand on Naruto's other cheek, stroking it softly, as he leans Naruto's face closer to his.

''Don't deny me. You can't.'' He murmurs. He lets his hand drop down lazily,softly stroking all the area from Naruto's cheek to his waist. And then it shifts to the blond's back ,together with his other hand. He looks deeply into Naruto's eyes. He knows he can't hold back anymore.

What's more important, he doesn't know what's right or wrong at the moment. But he does know one thing: He shouldn't hold back.

He pulls Naruto into his arms, their two chests pressing suddenly together. Before the ninja has any time to speak or make any protests, he smashes his lips against his.

Maybe he can't prove it with words, but he may be able to prove it with actions.

Will Naruto ever see how much he wants him? That his feelings are like a mountain that can't move no matter what? They are there to stay, just as the blond inside his arms. Because, yes, maybe he had a moment of despair before, right when Naruto had pulled back, but his passion is like a flame, like a fire, spreading, becoming stronger each passing second. And Naruto's sore existance next to him is the wind causing it to go wild.

He doesn't care if he is humiliated. Maybe that is because he is drunk, but his passion has blurred everything else and his mind gives him all the wrong orders. He is going after what he wants with all of his powers. Until he breaks every last of wall of resistance.

For both of them…

Naruto's POV

What does it mean to truly love another?
Naruto is sure he knew the answer once. Or at least attempted to. Hell, given half a chance, he'd still try to control everything within reach that might somehow make the answer obvious. Ease someone's burden, even. Because if Naruto can do nothing for himself, he'd trade it all for a stranger.

He couldn't stop Sasuke from leaving—to be honest, he never thought the other would actually go through with it. But he made sure he kept the remains of their home in tact during the aftermath. If he hadn't, things would never have been all right for either one of them again. Naruto isn't exactly sure about why that would be either; but he knows this fact to be as true as the sky is blue.

Now, it seemed they had survived that home dying. Well, Naruto did. Some might say barely, but still, they made it. It wasn't an ideal situation, not by a long shot, but the blond realized having Sasuke before him was what counted. He'd always believed that. But that isn't to say he isn't still rattled.

And not exactly in your typical way, either. It's a shallow, hungry feeling, that threatens to devour him whole. He'll be damned to show it though, cus' he thinks Sasuke will possibly think less of him if he does. Erk, maybe. It's not like Naruto can sink much lower than his current copious standing.

Then again, Naruto isn't one to gamble with fates. Look what it had cost him already.

Naruto wonders about so many of the others they come across in— people and families who've lost themselves or someone else, whose lives are then destroyed. Maybe things won't be all right for them, ever again. He doesn't know. He hopes for better, but he doesn't dwell on it. He never made any promises to them. Just Sasuke, and himself.

''Hmmm, Naruto…''

The words slip from those cherry lips like smoke from hot flames, and Naruto's neck is tilting back further to welcome him. Those hands are dulling his senses even more so than before, though the blond is reeling from the euphoria it brings at the same time.

Insecure or not, he'd never move away.

They were so young when society turned their back on them, he barely remembers it. What he does recall, is fear and the way everything kept stopping—his friends, the happiness. Losing the one person he'd depended on was different—like losing himself, and maybe that's the same thing.

That feeling is familiar, buried. Rejected. It's half-formed, like a memory that's just colors without sound. Naruto tries to say it, say the words both he and Sasuke need to hear, but they won't come— he just can't find them. For a long time, Naruto really isn't sure things will ever be all right again.

For tonight, the doubt finds its way out of him, flowing into the space between them and the ceiling. It is such a relief to stop thinking it, finally. Those faces are too much for Naruto as Itachi had been for Sasuke.

But this wasn't some red-heart romance. Never had been.
And Naruto knew he could never forget that.

''Teme..''

He isn't sure how to pour everything into a kiss; it's not like he was that experienced in the first place. But the blond thought it was portrayed well enough in every dirty little hero-worship thought he'd had about Sasuke suddenly noticing him for a change(which the raven would never learn), or corresponding to having him look at Naruto with the same starry-eyed admiration he was sure Sasuke expected from him. To be sure the point was shown, the smaller rolled his hips along Sasuke's, the corners of his lips arching upward as he met the Uchiha for another kiss.

''Nphh,'' he moans, and it's a sound filled with silent wonder.

The moment ticks on, but Naruto begins to feel Sasuke's smirk as it forms against his skin. For him, such a small sigil of happiness was a supernova, powerful and rarely seen. It had his heart beating harder and faster than he'd ever imagined, prying the ex-Hokage to press harder up against the Uchiha; only to regain some type of eye contact. That hand continues taunting him as it brushes against his cheek and skin— breaking him with every lost moment.

''Don't deny me. You can't,'' Sasuke says.

All the lies about being mistaken, or You wish (or even the ones Naruto tells himself) can't hide the evidence: when Sasuke reigns him in close, the blond doesn't stop him. And when Sasuke kisses him? Naruto kisses back.

It's impossible, but somehow Sasuke has shifted the universe. Naruto's here. They both are— safe at last.

''Ten times," Naruto finally whispers; assuring something most wouldn't follow. But the blond expects Sasuke to, because if there's anything left of this broken world, he wants the Uchiha to know. He's practically vibrating against the other's chest now; exhilarated and breathless from the course of events. His lips are fitted perfectly against the Uchihas, though the words he murmurs seem to get in the way.

''it'd be ten times harder than you'd think.''

The part where he care for Sasuke far too much, in all the ways a best friend shouldn't, remains quieted. Naruto has already lived with that secret far too long, from all the way back when they were graduating at the academy. Those feelings had mocked him—assaulted him—at the most unexpected moments. Even eight years later, it's like nothing at all has changed.

The rhythm of Sasuke's breathing in the dark is there if Naruto listens. So many times he'd wished he could have followed the raven, just for a few moments, and know for sure that he was still alright. That he hasn't been torn to shreds, will make it through another day. Naruto runs his hand down Sasuke's side now, embracing the smoothness of the other's skin.

He feels the arms curving around his back, and wants to whisper that he is still there—will always be there—all night long. It scares him, how easily he is ready to give this. When their lips break, Naruto is pawing at Sasuke's jeans, desperate to feel more of the skin he so longed for all these years.

"Off," he finally commands, stopping his progressions only to draw Sasuke's lower lip between his, and nibble on it.

Sasuke's POV

Sasuke feels shivers going down his spine as he relaxes into Naruto's hot breath, eying him in hidden surprise.

Ten times. It'd be ten times harder than you'd think.

Sasuke blushes slightly, letting his smirk show to his best friend. He wanted, wished within the depths of his heart that his words had been true, but hearing it being so passionately confirmed by the dobe's lips made him lose his focus for a small fraction of time.

He wants to let the dobe know that he loves him, that it is hard to keep himself away from him, that he could spend all night tasting his skin, his lips, his sweat, sniffing his every smell and scent, feeling the silk of his hair against his palms, breathing into him, slowly, yet excitedly like that, excitedly yet kind of sober in the same time, no not the lack of alcohol kind of sober, but the state in which you can still see the harsh reality for what it is, even if the universe has done everything to get you the one person you treasure the most on this planet inside your very arms.

Sasuke wants to say everything that little heart of his feels to its very own limits, those feelings that keep pressing the small withered walls as if trying to open a hole and flow…flow towards Naruto's heart and meddle with his own feelings, become one. But the raven can't say a thing, not of the things he thinks and feels. Because he is so stunned, so afraid to say anything wrong, anything he might regret later on.

Some moments ago he didn't care, all he thought of was how to make Naruto his. But after Naruto's confirmation, the first straws of fear stung his heart. It was fine, it was a game, a sweet madness, a lovesick risk, before the blond had finally expressed his acceptance towards what was happening.

But now, it all suddenly got serious. And Sasuke doesn't have the possibility of a rejecting Naruto in front of him, anymore. He doesn't have any other excuses and ifs to hide behind, no. He is there and he must do it. Because he started it. And he can't pull away now. But oh dear god, does he feel nervous.

He feels Naruto tagging down at his pants, in an impatient way. His breath slows down, and his saliva cant find its way down his throat. His mind can't figure out what is happening. Why doesn't he feel ready? Why after all this tension?

He stares at Naruto for some moments, those two onyx spheres of his, piercing into the cerulean pools in front of him. As if he needs reassurance. All he sees is lusting, wanting, needing. How can he say no to that? How can he go against his own wants, his own body, that has a will of its own, all caught up in the heat of the sacred moments he is sharing with his bond.

His body wants so badly to connect to Naruto's, feel the blondes skin against his, brushing, grinding, heating up against each other. He wants to make love to Naruto, with his every being. Not just in the mortal uninteresting usual way someone does that. No. He wants his every sense, every feeling, every touch to be an emotional explosion that will set his mind off the present, the past and the future. He wants to go into another dimension with Naruto, where every happy content feeling is too much to overbear, so much that you think you have reached the maximum of a mortal's possible happiness. He wants his and Naruto's souls to make love.

Without breaking eye contact with his blonde, he slowly, almost trembling, stands up and takes a deep breath. With a confident push, he pulls down his pants and bends down slowly to completely remove them of him. Then, he kicks them some distance away in the floor and thus rests in his boxers. He towers over Naruto for a while, looking down at him, smirking slightly, his eyes shining in heat. He bends down softly and starts planting soft brief kisses on Naruto's chest, very slowly. He doesn't care if he seems weird, he wants to savor every single moment of this physical contact with the blonde.

He heads up and down the blonde's chest, his lips leaving their affectionate mark everywhere. If he could say it with words, he feels like it would lose its meaning in front of the way each single kiss of his says it instead: I love you.

He nibbles on Naruto's n****e kind of aggressively, rolling his tongue around it, sucking it, sniffing it, playing with it: I want you.

He tilts up his head, when he's done, to look into Naruto's eyes. If he didn't feel so dizzy, maybe he'd be able to make out what he sees into them. But allas he can't. Is it that the physical contact with his bond makes his mind so uncooperative? Just how much of a big effect does Naruto have on him?

He sits down next to Naruto and scoots closer, till Naruto's shoulder pushes against his chest, as he leans over his blonde, using a hand to pull their faces closer. He looks closely into Naruto's eyes, and then kisses his nose, closing his onyx orbs in delight. He wants to explore all those little areas that no one has ever touched before on his blond. Because to him each and every one of them is precious to him. Naruto is precious to him.

He leans his head to the side of Naruto's head and starts licking slowly down his cheek, his hot tongue leaving small trails of saliva against Naruto's soft skin. He sucks on his friend's cheek, placing his hand on the back of Naruto's head, pressing his cheek harder against his mouth. Without parting lips from the hokage's skin, he moves his lips all the way down on Naruto's jaw's side and from there to the blonde's neck, over his shoulder. He takes in the scent of his skin, as he brushes his nose against it while his lips are busy ravishing the kitsune's length of neck: You are mine.

He breaks the kisses to wrap his hands around Naruto tightly, pushing their bodies closer together. He leans his head to Naruto's ear, to whisper:

''I want to feel you.'' While his free hand brushes softly over Naruto's genital area under his pants. He revolves his hand to tag softly down onto those pants before pulling away to look into Naruto's eyes.

Naruto's POV

It was like a tsunami of desires swamped him at once. Half-formed wants and words bubble from him, but are swept away with Sasuke's next touch. The only time a fleck of unhappiness enters his mind is when the other moves away; to remove what he asked for, granted; albeit his attention is now sweeping across all the scars decorating that pale body, realizing just how often Sasuke has scrapped by. Heck, he even opens his mouth to ask about some of them, when Sasuke descended back down.. And steals every coherent thought.

Nuzzling, inhaling, licking across Naruto's body, Sasuke truly had the smaller wrapped around his finger in a matter of seconds. The fox rolled his hips once or twice —feeling that hard heat trapped between them. The music of Sasuke's breathing makes him repeat the motion a couple more times, just to hear the sound rise against his chest.

Pale arms come around the back of Naruto then, gripping him, pressing him closer, leaving the touches to say everything Naruto could possibly need to hear. He felt so warm and real up against him, this moment had already become more than what he deserved. Naruto was probably going to Hell for letting things progress so far, but the blond knew he'd take an eternity in the pit for this little slice of Heaven. So long as he got to keep Sasuke all to himself for just.. A little bit longer.

Yes, living started here.

Naruto urged the other impossibly closer, letting his hand slip around Sasuke's neck as he breathed out ''Teme'' like the whole world was defined by the sound. Distantly; he accounted the meaning behind those lingering kisses and soft claims, and tried to bottle the moans that leaked from his mouth in return. They were drifting further and further from any normalcy they'd once held; but Naruto didn't want to turn back. No, never.

''I want to feel you.''

His breath hitched. His stomach fluttered. Did Sasuke realize that he was painting the clouds in the sky with those words? His hand was dipping dangerously low, and Naruto swore on his beating heart it'd be the death of him. Ever still, he practically purrs from the still-tingling sensations on his neck, eyes wide with a life he'd long but forgotten. There are no doubts in the kitsune's mind that this is where he wanted to be. No harbored regrets. Only Sasuke.

Always him.

"O-okay," A sweet smile crosses his lips, distracted somewhat by the tug on his pants. This—Sasuke's lips on his, bodies practically joined together—was the need he'd so desperately denied. But Sasuke owned Naruto's heart, his love anchored Naruto's soul.

Is it so bad, when both of us want it?

Naruto probably wouldn't get to keep any of this, not forever, but he'd take it.

He'd forgotten what happiness felt like.. And now that they were here, he would embrace their time. Would count each second and engrave it into his memory.

It's why, as he slowly shucks off his pants to comply to Teme's wish, the ex-Hokage keeps himself concentrated on his eyes. Because it's in those eyes that Naruto always finds sanctuary—can always recall better than his own, back as far as he can think. Those eyes have watched his back, seen him for who he was, even haunted him, since the earliest days.

Whenever Sasuke was quiet, contemplative or blank to a pain within, his eyes were beautiful. Naruto knows he had fallen into them repeatedly from across tables, battlegrounds, hotel rooms. He knows them in all their moods. But when Sasuke's gaze goes astray, Naruto sees that too.

He smiles more softly than before, raising a hand to caress the other's cheek. It isn't nearly as expressive a sentiment as everything Sasuke has done, but Naruto allows himself the fleeting idea of shifting forward to kiss Sasuke. The move isn't hard or demanding; isn't tender or full of passion. Naruto's lips are shaking.., but he won't let that hold him back. Sasuke's lips offer benediction for Naruto's driven-down desires. Sasuke's hands form a sacrament of trust.

He's willing to give everything for tonight, so long as Sasuke's happy.

Before now, he has never had a time where he could simply enjoy something without the pressure of responsibility or stress. The patterns of his past, good and bad, never allowed for the beautiful ease of simplicity. Probably because he never felt right with anyone.

Part of him is getting caught on such new familiarity. The easy glances and intense words tossed between them. But the other part of him remembers chasing Sasuke through the woods and just wanting to slug the b*****d for everything—and thinks that this complete, interwoven bond they have has now come despite that past, despite their differences.

With how differently they think and approach things, loving Sasuke is a sign of something more real, not less. This whole line of thinking is confusing at first, and twists in on itself. But Naruto can feel the truth lying firmly underneath it.

A contented sigh slips past his lips as he hums down toward one of Sasuke's prominent scars; an unfamiliar line that draws along the inner portion of his collarbone.

Right now, he feels more like themselves than ever before. He grins because of this, permitting the pads of his fingers drift downward at a slow pace to follow the scar in a apologetic manner; as if he could erase whatever pain Sasuke might've felt from battle. He may never get a chance to ask about where all these came from, though for this brief moment, Naruto took the time to repent for one… maybe a few of them.

If things had been different, this is how we would have been.

Naruto's fingers have drifted along far enough to dance at the edges of his boxers, nerves pressing him to brush the smooth skin just above it. Blue orbs peer at the raven, doe-eyed and curious.

.. It was time they both start living again.

So with that, he started drawing them down.

Ok, last chapter for now! I will probably take a long time to update again but hey you can't complain, I gave you like more than six chapters in one single day! :P Kidding. :)

Anyways, me and my partner have only written up to this part so I cant know when the next update will be. Please, be patient, and please, review! I am in great need of reviews!

Remember to not be too harsh. Thanks for reading!~

Have a nice day! :D