See previous chapters for disclaimer, spoilers, summary, etc. information. NOTE that beginning with Chapter 16 this story is rated M. And by majority rule (and truthfully because I wanted to write it), this chapter has M-rated content. If you're underage or that's not your thing, it's towards the end and you'll see it coming.
Note: From the bottom of my heart: Thank you for the reviews, alerts, and favorites. There were some incredibly supportive reviews to the last chapter and that meant a lot. And I think there are some newer readers so I'm thrilled you've decided to take this story on and get caught up. This was going to be a shorter chapter but Kensi and Deeks were demanding and took over, as they frequently do. Thanks to MioneAlterEgo for the usual eagle eye beta reading! I'd be lost without you! Believe it or not, we're starting to move towards the culmination of the story, characters, and foreshadowing as everything begins to come together. I'm not 100% certain but I'm pretty sure this will be complete around Chapter 30, give or take. Thanks for reading and leaving a review if you do!
The room was dark when he opened his eyes from sleep and for the span of several deep breaths Deeks had a difficult time remembering where he was. Over the years and most recently, over the last six months, there were so many places he slept but didn't really live, didn't call home. There was Marty Tyler's apartment in Venice, nothing like any home he could describe. And there had been the few nights in La Jolla at the Keppingers' home. That was definitely a home, and a place he now had very fond memories of. Not to mention his actual residence where he, Marty Deeks, really lived. But it was glancing over and finding Kensi curled up on her side next to him that confirmed for his slightly disoriented mind where he was: Home.
For some people perhaps home was a place. And up until Kensi he'd thought home was an idea of a place. But it was Kensi who had proven to him that home could be a person too. And for him, wherever Kensi was would be home.
Shifting from his back, Deeks settled on his side so that he faced Kensi fully, his eyes sweeping over her while a hand reached forward to lift and gently push back her hair so he could see her face, could see the graceful slope of her neck. He left his hand on her neck, his fingers curling around her neck while his thumb brushed back and forth along her jaw, eventually coming to rest where her pulse beat strong and fast.
Although he hadn't intended to wake her, his touch seemed to pull her out of sleep. She shifted, instinctively burrowing deeper towards him and into his chest, her lips finding his neck as his arms went around her, enveloping her and pulling her close as her hands went around his waist, her fingers slipping up and under his shirt to caress his back. They'd both been tired the night before, going to bed and falling against each other, bodies sliding together and arms and legs locking into place in a natural embrace. It had the best night's sleep he could remember in a long time but waking up next to Kensi and being able to hold her near was even more comforting.
It was a quietly intimate moment, filled to bursting with closeness and knowledge that could never be faked or invented. And it was something he'd never expected to have and literally stole his breath away. And Kensi kept knocking him over in surprise with each new moment, each new welcome and familiar touch. Like her lips, finding his in the darkness of the room, kissing him with honest and open longing.
After the kind of good morning kiss he wasn't sure he ever wanted to miss out on again, Deeks laid quietly with Kensi, his head on the pillow next to hers, almost wanting to close his eyes and fall back asleep to the feel of her hands drifting over him, her fingers lightly touching as if to remind herself that he was as she'd left him four days earlier.
But he kept his eyes open, drinking in the sight of Kensi's wide, dark eyes fixed on his face. Her eyes were pools of dark brown and black, impossible to discern the iris from the pupil in the dim light, making her eyes seem even more wide, the depth fathomless.
"So what's on the agenda today?" Kensi asked quietly, reminding him that as much as he wanted to stay inside that quiet and perfect moment, they had other things they needed to attend to. And they only had two weeks.
"Time for me to head back to Venice. Nell told me yesterday that the guys checked out of their hotel in the morning so presumably they'll be back on the beach catching waves. I need to connect back with them, let them know that things are ready on my end for the next robbery so hopefully that will move things along."
Kensi nodded slowly. "And I should get back to my job."
After her reluctant sigh Kensi began to pull back as though to get out of bed. Deeks tightened his hold on her, refusing to let her leave the warmth of the bed. Her soft laughter reached his ears and he smiled as she relented, falling back against him without further resistance.
"Just a few more minutes," he murmured. Kensi nodded, her smile wide and bright even in the darkness. Her affirmation came in a soft and pleased voice that made him smile in return. The softer and gentle side of Kensi was a new facet of her. It wasn't a part of her she let many people see. He'd only caught glimpses in the first year and a half of their partnerships. But now, now he was seeing all of her.
A while later, after a glance at the clock confirmed they could no longer put off the inevitable, Kensi got ready for work and they left so she could drop him off at the beach. Kensi promised to check in later in the day and stop by after work and Deeks continued to the beach, confirming with a quick glance out at the waves that Mike, Derek and Jesse were indeed back from Las Vegas.
Dropping his belongings on the sand next to Monty, Deeks set about waxing his board, feeling anxious to get out on the water. Having the imposed FBI timeline was making him very aware of how much progress still needed to be made in order to catch his bank robbery suspects in the act. Although the fear of failure crept around the edges of his consciousness he was determined not to allow that to drive him. Failure in this undercover was not an option.
He was still giving himself a silent lecture when Jesse's excited yell caught his attention and he lifted his head as the younger man trotted up the beach towards him. Jesse propped his board into the sand and knelt down next to Deeks, his eyes full of friendliness and excitement.
"Hey man! Am I glad to see you! How'd things go in San Diego with Kensi's aunt?"
Deeks gave Jesse a smile in response, verbally affirming that Kensi's "aunt" was doing better, which was why they'd returned. He felt a touch of unease as Jesse further questioned him. The unease wasn't because of the questions. It was because he could tell that Jesse thought of him as a friend. And in ordinary circumstances, such as those in which Jesse hadn't broken several federal laws, Deeks was aware that he and Jesse could have been friends. He wished Jesse hadn't turned to the life he had and he wished he didn't have to lie to him. But those were regrets he could do nothing to change.
"How was Vegas?" Deeks asked, changing the subject to veer the conversation back to Jesse, Mike, and Derek. Jesse shrugged nonchalantly.
"It was alright. I never do very well but it's easier to take the loss when you have a pretty steady flow of cash," Jesse admitted with a wide grin, referring to the spoils from the previous bank robberies. Deeks returned the grin, then nodded out towards the water where he saw Mike and Derek on their boards, waiting for waves.
"And Derek and Mike? They have a good time?"
Jesse nodded eagerly. "Yeah, I think so. Derek was in a better mood once his brother arrived. They haven't seen each other for a few years. And he's supposed to come visit Derek here in a few days, so the good mood came home with us."
Deeks chuckled lightly, catching the relieved tone of Jesse's voice. Derek was generally the most volatile member of the group. And Jesse didn't tend to like the conflict that sometimes arose from Derek's moods. Deeks figured anything that might make Derek a more easygoing guy was probably a good thing.
"Marty, I have to ask: Kensi's cousin, Nell? I know Kensi's probably still dealing with stuff with her aunt, but do you think maybe she could ask Nell to come by the beach sometime? Or could I get Nell's phone number?"
Internally, Deeks groaned. He'd been hoping Jesse would drop his interest in Nell. Clearly his hope had been naïve. And it really didn't surprise him that much. Nell was a pretty woman and for all his less savory qualities Jesse was just interested in a friendly romance. But there was no way he could allow Nell to be exposed to the undercover operation further. She might have the field training qualifying her for undercover assignments but it was first and foremost on his mind that Nell was a little like a sister to him. And other than Kensi's safety, Nell's wellbeing was paramount.
"Jesse, I hate to break it to you, but Nell has a boyfriend. I asked Kensi and she's about two steps away from engaged."
"But she's not engaged yet," Jesse pointed out stubbornly. Deeks couldn't help the exasperated laugh that escaped.
"Damn, you are persistent. No, not engaged yet."
"So there's still a possibility," Jesse replied, his face lifting with optimism. Deeks shrugged, unable to put him of course any further without raising suspicion.
Jesse gave him a quick pat on the shoulder and a knowing smile. "Don't worry about it, Marty. I'll go direct to the source. I know it's probably not fair to ask you to intervene with Kensi."
Deeks was about to interject but decided not to push it further. In part because he was already tired of playing the role of the matchmaker saboteur and he figured Kensi could handle Jesse when he came to her.
He finished waxing his board and followed Jesse out to the water, paddling out to the break and exchanging greetings with Mike and Derek. Jesse had been right, Derek was in a far friendlier mood than he'd been in the six months that Deeks had known the man. It was at the back of his mind to ask about Derek's brother since he figured the two men must be close and it was probably a subject Derek wouldn't mind discussing. Deeks couldn't remember from the FBI's file on Smith that he'd had a brother but he figured it was one of the many details he'd forgotten in the last several months.
Before Deeks could ask about Derek's brother the conversation turned to a recap of the various successes and failures at poker and blackjack and Deeks listened, interjecting with comments and asking questions where appropriate. The guys were eager to share and Deeks was encouraged enough by the friendly and open discussion that he was considering turning the conversation in a direction towards when the next bank robbery might be.
A series of incoming waves took Derek and Jesse in towards the shore and Deeks was left with Mike, who gave him a friendly clap on the back.
"I'm glad to hear things with Kensi's aunt went so well." Mike paused, giving Deeks a searching look. When he spoke again, his voice was honestly curious. "She really means a lot to you, doesn't she?"
Deeks fixed a steady gaze on Mike, considering how his alias would respond. Tyler might be something of a cavalier criminal but he was protective of people who were loyal to him. He'd been rejected by his family and the acceptance from a woman like Kensi Sullivan, beautiful and willing to take him as he was, would make him extremely territorial of her. And for better or worse, the guys had seen him interact with Kensi where no doubt his feelings for her as himself had also leaked through.
"Kensi? Yeah, she does. I can't really explain it. But she's so completely out of my league and she doesn't care about my record, or the fact that I don't have money. She doesn't care about the things most girls care about," Deeks admitted, thinking about how Kensi had portrayed her cover to the guys. She was beautiful, accessible and open. And she'd been friendly with all of them, not prying and not asking questions that implied her interest was beyond that of simple friendship. She didn't judge and didn't act as though she found any of them lacking qualities that made them decent guys.
Deeks had watched some of the women who came and went around Mike, Jesse, and Derek. And before Kensi had established herself in Marty Tyler's life he'd spent a fair amount of time talking with women who approached him in clubs or bars while he spent time with the guys and sold his cover.
As a general rule he wasn't opposed to the idea of a simple hook up. His twenties had been scattered with his fair share. And when both parties had that kind of easy expectation it made it simple and quick, almost like a business transaction. He had no illusions; it was about physical attraction and had nothing to do with emotional connection. Plenty of people lived their lives that way and he didn't judge.
Deeks had watched as women pursued his suspects. Women like Kensi were pretty much nonexistent. Most of the women who approached him, Mike, Derek, and Jesse didn't care about who they really were as people, whether they would make a good boyfriend or potential husband or father. The women who traveled in the circles he'd been in the last six months were interested in someone who would take care of them, made decent money, and didn't have a record.
And he'd been subjected to the not-so-subtle flirtations of women who were sometimes interested in a quick fling and others who were hunting for more. Deeks had observed that at least the women interested in a quick fling were honest about it. It was the women hunting for more that usually asked the thinly veiled questions about education, background, and job who usually inferred fairly quickly when men didn't measure up. And those women moved on pretty quickly, not caring that they transparently expressed that their prey was found wanting.
Deeks had watched that pattern repeat itself numerous times with Jesse and Mike. Most women steered clear of Derek, somehow sensing that off-putting vibe that alluded to cold calculation and resulted in unease. But whenever a woman discovered something about Jesse or Mike she didn't like (lack of the right kind of job, lack of a good education, lack of ambition), Deeks had watched the occasionally heartless rejection with painful sympathy. They might be criminals but Deeks had a heart. Female rejection was something most men could relate to. Which was why it didn't really surprise him that Kensi with her easy acceptance probably seemed like something of an incredible dream.
"Yeah, she seems really great." Something like longing seemed to pass over Mike's eyes and Deeks was silent, seeing a different side of the other man. The look passed, to be placed with something close to caution. "And you're lucky to have her, don't get me wrong. But sometimes those kind of connections tie you down."
Deeks raised his eyebrows in surprise and confusion. He felt as though Mike was alluding to something bigger and more complicated than his words implied. Mike stopped him from speaking, changing the subject before Deeks could get a word in.
"How are things going with the software programming? How much longer do you need?"
Although he was still mildly curious about Mike's earlier vague comment, he was also grateful to be able to steer the conversation towards the bank robbery and something that could bring about the end of the assignment.
"It's ready. The software is programmed and good to go. We can go in anytime, just let me know when."
Mike straightened where he sat on his board, looking pleased. "That's great news, Marty. Listen, there's one aspect of our situation that we haven't filled you in on."
Leaning forward on his board in interest, Deeks raised a curious eyebrow, his heart pounding at the possibility that Mike might finally reveal some information on how they laundered their money. The money trail was the biggest unknown in the undercover, and was also the biggest potential payoff to the FBI.
"I'm all ears, what's going on?"
Mike glanced around, noting they were largely alone out on the water with only the incoming waves as their background noise.
"We went it alone early on. The first few robberies we kept the money and were careful how we spent it. But it wasn't long before we started to think the FBI was catching on, closing in on us. It was Derek who suggested we make a deal with one of the Mexican drug cartels. We bring the cash to them, they launder it through their business, through the cash and drug channels that already exist in their organization, for a percentage of the profits."
Deeks nodded slowly, filing away the information that it was Smith who had suggested the money laundering aspect. He was beginning to realize that in addition to the reality that Smith had early on been the computer brains behind the operation, he was the foundation of almost every other aspect as well.
Thinking it was a question Tyler would ask, Deeks interrupted. "So what's their cut?"
"Thirty percent."
"Shit, that's a lot to give up. Is it really worth it?"
Mike nodded past Deeks' feigned objection. "It buys peace of mind. The cash we get back is completely clean and untraceable. They also hooked us up with their accountants who helped set up untraceable offshore bank accounts for our cash."
"Drug cartels have accountants?" Deeks asked, layering his voice with the right level of surprise. Mike laughed and nodded.
"Yeah, they do. They have their own accountants, lawyers, everything. They're not that different than your usual business. Just, you know, illegal," Mike shrugged, not at all bothered by the distinction. Deciding to try his luck, Deeks pushed further.
"So where are these untraceable offshore bank accounts? Switzerland? Somewhere in the Caribbean?"
Mike seemed to be in a sharing mood as he shook his head. "Nope. Apparently the new safe place for storing shady money with no questions asked is the Azores. Now, listen, Marty, the cartel we work with gets a cut of our profits and they also get a say in how we run our operation. It was them who suggested the new tactic we're taking, using the malware you created to collect account information."
Deeks was surprised at the admission and didn't have to fake his response. "I'm surprised that was okay with you, to let go of that control. Not to mention letting others in on the details of how you run things."
The flash of discomfort that appeared and then vanished just as quickly from Mike's eyes told Deeks that for all his claiming that the cartel bought "peace of mind," he was still bothered at the interference.
"It's the price we have to pay so we don't get caught. I didn't like it all the time but it's worked out well for us. Don't worry, you'll still get your cut of whatever we make. But the men who run the cartel want to meet you. I told them a while back we brought you in but they still want to check you out."
Deeks kept his internal reactions firmly tamped down. Meeting members of the drug cartel was certainly a big and important step. Potentially dangerous, but it would help him gather evidence. Not to mention it might give Eric and Nell a trail to follow. Reasoning that Marty Tyler might be a little intimidated at the possibility, he was careful in his response.
"Look, I've never interacted with any drug cartels before. And my record is out there for anyone to see. I don't have anything to hide."
Mike nodded in agreement. "I know that. But they're insisting. It's not a big deal and we'll all go with you. It's more of a friendly meet-and-greet anyway. They just want to be sure."
"Sure about what?" Deeks asked uncertainly. Mike shrugged.
"That you seem like who you say you are. That you're not a cop or a Fed."
Deeks chuckled. "Man, do I seem like a cop?"
Taking the bait, Mike smiled back in good humor. "Not at all. But they've got eyes and ears all over the place, including at the LAPD."
Deeks was quiet for a moment, quickly weighing the risks involved. He knew the hesitation would work well with his alias as Tyler, certainly willing to walk on the wrong side of the law but never having been involved in something as big as these bank robberies, he would feel a little hesitant about it.
"Look, don't flake on me now, Marty. This is no big deal as long as you've got nothing to hide. We go in, you meet them and then we can move on to planning our next job. Can I count on you?"
Deeks felt a sliver of worry edge into his mind. Going to meet the leaders of the drug cartel that laundered the money for the bank robberies was a huge lead. But it also involved some pretty big risks. Mike's allusion to the eyes and ears the cartel might have at the LAPD was certainly the biggest of those risks. But he couldn't turn back. Not now when things were finally heating up and going in the right direction.
"I'm in. When do you want to do this?"
"Tomorrow afternoon. Jesse and I will come get you at one o'clock. Really, you've got nothing to worry about," Mike reassured him again.
Wanting to try and push his luck a little further, Deeks casually asked, "So who are these guys? I mean, which cartel do you deal with?"
Mike waved away his question. "That's not really important. You'll meet them tomorrow." Mike made it clear with his abrupt tone that questioning further wouldn't get him more answers and Deeks sensed it might cause suspicion. Deeks nodded and Mike dropped the discussion, moving to catch an incoming wave.
Pushing aside his worry, Deeks concentrated on surfing. Normally it would be something that relaxed him but it was further proof that this undercover operation was taking its toll that he couldn't quite fully relax. And most of all he wanted to talk with Kensi about the latest development in their assignment. He had a feeling she would be concerned for his safety but he also counted on her sharp and perceptive mind to help think of all the possible angles and to plan for every eventuality.
Thinking of her downtown working at her secretarial job he couldn't help but wish that the rest of the day would go quickly.
When Kensi pushed through the glass doors at the offices of Anderson, Evans, & Johnson she was almost immediately enveloped in a warm hug from Rachel. Kensi awkwardly patted Rachel on the back, almost feeling as if she was more comforting the other woman rather than receiving comfort. But Rachel's hug was so tight and lacking anything but genuine affection that Kensi couldn't be bothered to mind.
Rachel finally pulled back, her deep green eyes filled with concern as she looked at Kensi. "Are you okay? Is your aunt okay? Are you sure you should be back here? Come on, sit down." Rachel led Kensi over to her chair at the front reception desk, practically forcing her to sit down.
Kensi smiled fondly at how Rachel looked at her, practically wringing her hands with barely contained worry. She'd sensed this nurturing and empathetic side to Rachel before, but she found it was rather moving to have it directed at her. Rachel seemed to like to take care of other people. From what Rachel had told her, her previous boyfriends had often taken advantage of that side of her. But Kensi found she was exceedingly touched that Rachel thought of her as a friend enough to worry for her.
"I'm okay. My aunt is doing much better. And yes, I needed to get back to my job." Kensi soothed, reaching out to pat Rachel on the arm. "Really. You're sweet to worry but I'm good. I just want to get back to work."
Kensi stood from Rachel's chair, moving to leave and head for her desk. Rachel's slightly forlorn expression had Kensi resisting the smile that tugged at her lips. "How about we have lunch later and I'll fill you in on all the details?"
At Kensi's suggestion Rachel nodded eagerly and her words seemed to appease Rachel's worry. Kensi walked away, shaking her head in amusement. It was still a bit foreign, to have a normal everyday friend who cared so much for her wellbeing. But she couldn't deny that it was a nice feeling.
Even though her job was fairly low-key, there was still a lot to catch up on after her three days away. Lunch with Rachel turned out to be fairly quick but Kensi was able to assure her that everything was fine. And Kensi found that it was nice to have a friend to talk to about her worry over Diane. She kept the details to herself, but the situation itself was real enough and Rachel was a sympathetic audience, not telling her to not be worried and not treating the health scare as a small thing. Deeks had certainly been supportive and concerned and Kensi found it was a good feeling to have a female friend who cared about her and how she was doing.
Late in the afternoon Kensi glanced at the clock on her computer, glad to see that the day would soon be over and she could head to Venice.
"Kensi, I'm glad to see you're back. Everything go okay with your family in San Diego?"
Kensi tried to ignore the mental red flag that popped up at Joshua Scott's words. He spoke in a friendly enough tone and she had no reason to be wary. It had been common knowledge around the office that she'd been dealing with a family emergency in San Diego. But ever since Josh had insinuated that he thought she was being beaten by her boyfriend and that he could be her white knight and save her, something about the guy had her on edge. Still, she plastered on a friendly enough smile and turned to face him.
"Yeah, everything's fine. Thanks for asking."
Hoping she could leave it at that, Kensi resumed typing on her computer. Josh came around the side of her desk and she resisted the urge to put physical distance between them by backing her chair away from him. Although she didn't like him, she had no reason to react suspiciously. Which meant she needed to act as though he didn't bother her.
Josh's eyes were concerned as he rested his hip against her desk, fixing her with what felt like a somewhat patronizing gaze. "Are you really okay? I know the story was that you were out with a family emergency but I wondered if your boyfriend might have something to do with your absence."
Kensi couldn't reign in the incredulous look she shot Josh. She'd wondered earlier if his method for picking up women was trying to make them think he could save them from invented problems and now she felt as though that was confirmed. Kensi supposed that tactic might work well enough on women with low self-esteem or women who were looking for someone to take care of them. It was like he was trying to convince her she was having problems with her boyfriend and he was kind enough to help her with them.
She followed Josh's seemingly knowing glance as his eyes shifted and fell on the framed photo on her desk. It was one of the photos Mike had taken on the beach almost a month ago, right after Kensi Sullivan started dating Marty Tyler. The photo might have been of their aliases, but even she could see it was completely them as well.
Deeks was dripping wet from the ocean, his arms holding her tight around the waist. Her arms used his shoulders as an anchor and in the photo her eyes were closed, her head turned slightly away from Deeks as he kissed her neck. Kensi loved the smile that lifted his lips as he kissed her and she loved how his arms cradled her tightly. And looking at her face in the photo was all too telling. There was softness in her smile and an easiness in how she let herself be held that spoke volumes. Her body language, even in a still photograph, said that she trusted him, that she was attracted to him, and that his arms around her were welcome. The memory of that moment made her heart beat faster. That had been before they'd defined their relationship as it was now. But she could look at the photo now and see the inevitability of what would be, even then.
"Honestly, Josh, my aunt had a heart attack. Nothing more and nothing less. It wasn't a 'story.' Marty had nothing to do with why I was gone. I've told you before, there's nothing for you to be concerned about. And I would appreciate if you would stop insinuating that there was," Kensi replied, not able to completely leave the edge of anger out of her voice.
The surprised and put-off expression on Josh's face had her wondering if she'd gone too far in trying to make him back off. Even if she didn't like his methods, on the surface he appeared to have nothing but genuine concern for her. It was what was lurking below the surface that had her suspicious. She tried to remind herself that not everything in life had a nefarious side but the pessimistic side of her mind was resolutely skeptical.
Josh held up his hands as a gesture of submission and he stood to back away from her. "Okay, okay, I get it. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was just concerned for you."
Josh's voice was slightly hurt, as though she had insulted him by rejecting his false worry for her. After Josh left she wondered if she should go after and reassure him there were no bad feelings between them but Kensi shrugged, not really feeling like she could muster up the lies. She resisted rolling her eyes. Honestly, some men had such fragile feelings.
Putting it out of her mind, Kensi changed her clothes and packed up her things at the end of the day, happy to get in the car and drive west towards Venice. When she arrived a quick glance out at the water told her that Deeks was out surfing with Jesse and when he saw her she waved before sitting down next to Monty, who practically clambered all over her to lick her face. Kensi laughed, giving the dog a thorough body rub and scratched around his ears and head since she figured he'd been without much affection the last few days. Monty looked back at her adoringly and she was pretty sure if he'd been a cat he would have been purring.
"Kensi! You're back! It's good to see you!" Jesse said, smiling at her and giving her an exuberant hug with one arm around her shoulders after he sat next to her on the sand. She chuckled as the water dripping from his body dampened her clothes and Jesse had the decency to look chagrined. "Oh, sorry about that."
Kensi waved away his concern, not really caring. And she glanced at Monty to her right, and Jesse to her left. She had to grin at the somewhat similar expressions of affection on their faces. Her lips twitched a little with the urge to laugh out loud but she resisted the impulse. Even though Jesse was a pretty easygoing guy she didn't think he'd appreciate her comparing him to an eager dog.
"So Marty filled us in on how things went in San Diego. I'm glad to hear your aunt is doing better. Did your cousin Nell stay with her or did she come back, too?"
And there it was. If it hadn't concerned her so much that Jesse seemed to be fixated on Nell she probably would have found his enthusiastic interest charming.
"Nell stayed in San Diego with our aunt. She's going to help her get settled with her home care," Kensi lied, reasoning there was nothing in the alias that had been set up for Nell that would suggest otherwise. Jesse's smile fell almost comically, then his face lit up again quickly.
"But she'll be back in L.A. at some point? Do you think you could bring her by sometime? Or could I get her number? She seemed like a really nice person."
Kensi sighed, almost wishing she could give in to Jesse's request. Deep down she sensed that he really wasn't a terrible guy. And she had to handle the situation so it wouldn't set back any of the progress she'd made with getting closer to him and establishing their friendship. It was a friendship she was looking to eventually exploit but Kensi refused to let that bother her.
"I'm sorry, Jesse, but Nell has a boyfriend. I don't think she'd be interested. It's not because of you, I think you're a great guy and under different circumstances she'd be lucky to have you," Kensi replied, keeping her voice gentle. Jesse couldn't possibly hide the disappointment that colored his eyes and Kensi felt an unwanted pang of guilt settle in her stomach.
"Okay, I understand. But maybe think about it? Even if she's got a boyfriend that doesn't mean she's off the market."
Kensi fixed Jesse with a slightly incredulous look. "Doesn't that break some kind of Bro Code or something?
Jesse looked back at her with a completely serious expression. "That only applies in certain situations, which this definitely isn't. Like if you and Marty broke up and I was going to ask you out. That's a big no-no since Marty's my bro. Besides, it was Beyonce who said 'If you liked it, then you shoulda put a ring on it' and I didn't see a ring on Nell's finger."
Kensi couldn't stop the laughter that erupted at Jesse's solemn statement. She shook her head in amazement while Jesse looked back at her, a little sheepish but also pleased at her humor.
"I'll tell you what, Jesse. If the situation comes up maybe I'll mention it to Nell. Maybe. But no promises, okay?" Kensi replied, reasoning she could probably throw Jesse something of a bone. Chances were in two weeks it wouldn't entirely matter anyway if the FBI shut down the operation. Or if Jesse ended up in jail. Kensi felt that pang of guilt in her stomach clench further as Jesse nodded eagerly and gratefully at her words.
She was saved from dwelling on her feelings any longer when Deeks walked up to them from the water, putting his board down on the sand and then reaching for her. He pulled her to her feet and up hard against his body, the movement startling her and not giving her the opportunity to balance her forward momentum so she didn't fall against him with her full weight. Deeks still caught her, gathering her close and framing her face with his hand before he leaned down to kiss her with insistent and hungry lips.
Kensi felt her body melt against him, her limbs loosening and then tightened around his shoulders and his back in an effort to pull him closer. Or pull her body closer to his. She wasn't really sure and Deeks' pleased murmur against her lips told her he didn't really care. When one of his hands went down to smooth over her hip and then reached around to cup her rear she felt the blush flash up her neck and she pulled back, her mouth dropping open in shock as she was mindful of their audience. Deeks winked at her before he let her go and finding that she couldn't even quite stutter out an objection, she decided her alias probably wouldn't mind being manhandled in public by her boyfriend.
Keeping his arm around her waist, Deeks looked down at Jesse, who sat on the sand grinning at both of them. "What were you two talking about?"
"The Bro Code. Beyonce. And rings," Kensi replied quickly, not wanting Jesse to latch back on to the Nell part of the conversation. Deeks raised a curious eyebrow as his fingers tightened on her hip.
"Rings, huh? And what about the Bro Code?"
"'Thou shalt not sleep with your bro's ex-girlfriend'," Jesse quoted without pause. Deeks nodded as though this was sage advice.
"Damn right," Deeks replied succinctly. Kensi huffed in exasperation and narrowed her eyes, allowing her persona as Kensi Sullivan to creep in and take over.
"And I suppose you agree with the 'bros before hoes' nonsense, too?" she accused. Deeks exchanged a knowing look with Jesse.
"Of course. Sorry Sweetness, gotta respect the Code," Deeks replied cheerfully. Staying in character, Kensi affected an insulted expression, trying to push him away as his arm tightened around her possessively. Kensi managed to slip out from under his arm and she grabbed her bag, lifting her chin and averting her eyes in the clear and clichéd sign of female irritation as she began to walk away from Deeks and Jesse. Where normally Kensi would have dished back just as good as she got, her alias was the sort to resort to a less than understanding response. She heard Jesse's slightly apologetic voice behind her.
"Sorry man, I didn't mean to create problems with you guys."
"Don't worry about it, Jesse. It's nothing flowers and my charming personality won't fix. Take it easy on Kensi though, okay? She's sensitive sometimes. And a little territorial."
The rest of their conversation was lost in the wind and distance as Kensi kept her steady pace away from them. Sweetness. She knew it was a part of the cover, but she nearly shuddered at the nickname. Her alias probably wouldn't mind the annoying nickname though to Kensi it grated on her. It wasn't one she liked and the condescending undertone in Deeks' voice had raised her ire.
Deeks caught up with her quickly, falling into step alongside her until they got to the car. Kensi tossed her bag in the back, allowing Monty to jump in, as Deeks strapped his surfboard to the roof of the car. Although she was almost certain it had all been an act, Kensi had to push the issue. Sometimes Deeks was a little too good at becoming an alias. Before getting in the car Kensi whirled around, stalking up to Deeks, her hands on her hips.
"Please tell me that was a part of your cover. 'Nothing flowers and my charming personality won't fix'? You can't have that big of an ego," Kensi said. Taking another step closer, she narrowed her eyes and held up her finger to stop him from talking. "And do not call me 'Sweetness' ever again. Not if you value your life."
Deeks crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a slow grin.
"Maybe I was kidding about the flowers. But I think my presence and persuasiveness could probably soothe just about any anger you might have towards me, Princess," Deeks replied, his voice full of intimate confidence. Kensi's eyes narrowed and damn it if his low voice and certainty didn't reassure her, call out to her and make her body respond by taking a step closer as her stomach flipped pleasantly. She didn't even mind that nickname, had even become fond of it. Deeks seemed to see the answer in her eyes and his grin widened, a hand reaching out to cup her neck and pull her close for a deep kiss that had her toes curling.
Kensi pulled back slightly, turning her head and lifting her lips so she could whisper in his ear. "I think you should show me exactly how persuasive you can be."
And with that Deeks quickly opened the car door, helping Kensi to get inside, even pulled on her seat belt for her before he raced around to the driver's side, getting in and quickly moving the car in reverse. Kensi laughed quietly, enjoying the confidence that swelled in her at Deeks' almost hurried efforts to get them to her apartment where they could be alone. She couldn't help but be thrilled that she affected him as much as he affected her.
By the time they got to the apartment in Santa Monica Deeks practically ran through the rooms, completing the usual check for bugs. Kensi shook her head and smiled, all while she felt her stomach tighten in pleasant anticipation. It had been more than four days since they'd been together. And in a new physical relationship where attraction burned as bright and fierce as theirs did, four days was practically a lifetime.
She was pulling the tie from her hair and brushing her hair loose when Deeks came up behind her, meeting her eyes with his in the mirror. Her breath caught at the direct intensity in his blue eyes, and how he didn't even seem to blink as he held her eyes with hers. Unable to contemplate doing anything or being anywhere else but in his arms, Kensi dropped her brush and pivoted around, easily reaching around his neck to pull him close, his lips finding hers quickly.
Their kisses turned urgent and hungry as Deeks backed towards the bed, bringing her with him. Kensi found her panting breaths turning to quiet sighs as his hands went to her shorts, unsnapping them and pushing them down her hips. His fingers made quick work of the buttons on her shirt, pushing it down her arms and then letting his hands smooth up her back, tracing her spine under the curtain of her hair and then smoothing his palms over her shoulders.
Kensi returned the favor, her hands deftly sliding under his shirt, flattening her palms against his stomach for the briefest of seconds to enjoy how the muscles of his abdomen clenching before she drew her hands up, pulling his shirt with them. Deeks moved with her, lifting his arms so she could yank the shirt over his head. She grinned fondly at how his hair, still a little damp from the ocean, managed to look even more chaotic. And then his hands on her waist, pulling her down to the bed, and his hand slipping over her backside and toying with the strap of her bikini bottoms had her pulling him closer to let him rest his weight on her.
She loved the feel of him covering her body. Deeks tried to brace his arms around her to keep his full weight from crushing her but she tugged at his shoulders, silently telling him what she wanted. Deeks chuckled against her lips and complied, letting his hands drift from where he'd been holding his weight above her to slip between her back and the mattress to encircle her. Kensi closed her eyes against the heavenly feel of his skin touching and sliding against hers and almost missed the sudden tightening of Deeks' muscles.
But she didn't miss his quick intake of breath or how he shifted away from her, falling onto his back on the bed. Kensi's eyes snapped open and she rolled to his side, immediately concerned. Deeks shot her a quick and reassuring smile even as he grimaced in pain and tried to reach his back.
"Sorry, Kens. Muscle cramp. I blame Eric and sitting at a desk in front of a computer in Ops for three solid days."
Kensi smiled sympathetically. "And not enough surfing, I'm sure."
Deeks nodded in agreement and winced as he tried to reach the muscle on his back, tried to shift to dislodge the painful tightening. Pushing with gentle hands and watching him for signs of discomfort, Kensi managed to get Deeks on to his stomach on the bed.
"Kens, what are you—"
"Shh, let me see if I can make it go away," Kensi murmured, sitting up so she could straddle the back of his thighs. She thought maybe he would shift away from her when he lifted his arms, but then they went up under the pillow where he'd laid his head, turned sideways towards her. The movement flexed his shoulder muscles and Kensi felt her mouth go a little dry at the sight. She'd admired his body for awhile now. But the toned strength wasn't often as obvious as it was in that moment.
Her hands suddenly itching to feel the tanned skin and toned muscles, she leaned forward, letting her fingers drift lightly, feeling the quick shiver left in their wake, the intake of his breath, and the pained tightening as she found the offending muscle in his lower back. It didn't take long before he was relaxing against her hands as she touched, pressed and soothed away the pain, his muscles and skin warming beneath her hands.
The muscle cramp soon long forgotten, Kensi continued rubbing his back, alternating pressure and letting her fingers drift over his shoulders and smiling at the light freckling under the golden skin that was evidence of how much time Deeks spent out in the sun. And she heard the contented exhale of Deeks' breath as her hands drifted south, gently pressing on the muscles of his lower back and causing him to arch under her touch.
Realizing he was loose and relaxed and perhaps a little too close to falling asleep, Kensi sat back on his thighs, reaching up to loosen the tie of her bikini top around her neck and unfasten the strap around her back to throw the small bit of fabric away. She let her hands rest at the waistband of his board shorts, then moved them up his back, lowering her body over his until she rested her entire front, and her very bare breasts, against his shoulder blades.
As expected, nearly every muscle in Deeks' body tightened in awareness at the touch of her against him. Kensi moved her head so she could nose through his hair, finding the shell of his ear to kiss and nip. Not unaffected by the touch of his skin on hers, Kensi shivered as goose bumps appeared and her nipples tightened perceptively against Deeks' back. It seemed as though it was suddenly more than he could bear because Kensi found Deeks had shifted to his side, pulling her down next to him in the space between two breaths.
And then he stole whatever remaining breath she had with his hot and insistent lips on hers, his lips demanding as he opened her mouth under his, his tongue demanding against hers, swallowing her moan of pleasure. Kensi kept one hand at his side while the other gripped his arm, then followed his movement as that arm went to caress and squeeze her breasts. She closed her eyes against the rolling waves of rising heat he brought forth in her, keeping her fingers on his forearm and feeling how the muscles and tendons rose and fell as he touched her.
Kensi let her hand at his hip drift lower, her fingers finding and following the trail of soft hair low on his stomach where it disappeared under the waistband of his board shorts. And when her hand closed around him, finding him hot and hard and beginning to strain towards her, Deeks seemed to lose all focus. Kensi looked up at his face, his eyes closed and his lips parted while short pants of breath escaped almost in time with her squeezing grip.
Feeling heat and ache pool low in her stomach, she watched in awe at his near complete loss of control. It wasn't a normal thing for him, she knew. She could count on one hand and still have several fingers left over the number of times she'd seen Deeks truly lose control. For someone who was so laid back and casual he was always mindful of keeping his strong emotions in check. She'd seen his anger and had seen how the rage could build and pour out of him. But this, his control slipped to nothing and his entire body and mind unchecked and vulnerable before her, it was a different kind of loss of control. And it was even more powerful in its own way.
Realizing he was close and with awareness of her own restless desire to feel him surge into her, Kensi let her other hand reach for the tie of his board shorts, loosening it quickly and pushing them down. Deeks caught on quickly, shifting to his side to face her, his hands helping her push his shorts away. Just as quickly he lifted his head and leaned in to kiss her deeply, the kisses turning slow and languid. She felt her body soften against him, her curves finding each and every dip and line of his body to fit against.
Without her realizing he'd done it her bikini bottoms were gone, his hands smoothing up and over her hips and backside, insistently pulling her closer. She was blindly reaching behind her in the bedside table for the condoms she hoped were there when Deeks' quick murmur against her lips, at the same time as he lifted her leg with a hand under her knee, opening her so he could fit the hard length of him against her, stopped her.
"Already taken care of, Kens."
She couldn't help the warm grin that lifted her lips as she raised an eyebrow in barely contained disbelief, looking down between them to confirm that he had indeed managed to somehow put a condom on without her realizing it. "Aren't you just full of surprises. How did you do that without me noticing?"
"It's a guy thing, we don't let anything get in the way of where we want to be."
Kensi's laughter was low and quiet as Deeks' hand at her back stroked back and forth. His other hand slipped down between them, his fingers brushing at her opening and finding her damp and ready for him. His quick groan of longing gave her a thrill. It was a powerful thing to know she could make him lose control with his want and need for her.
Kensi widened her legs further, bringing herself fully against him, leaning in to place an open mouthed kiss against his chest before she wound her hands up to Deeks' neck, pulling his head close to hers so she could look him in the eye.
"So what are you waiting for?"
Her inviting question had barely left her lips when Deeks pushed into her fully and in one stroke. Kensi couldn't hold back the gasping moan that escaped, or the arching of her entire body as Deeks shifted to pull out slightly, then surged forward again. For what could have been minutes or hours the only sensation she was aware of was the delicious crash and fall of their bodies colliding and parting with building intensity.
It was almost a struggle to open her eyes but Kensi forced her eyelids open, feeling tears gather at the corners of her eyes as she watched the beautiful sight of Deeks on the edge of his control, seemingly struggling to hold on. Reaching up with shaky hands, Kensi framed his face between her palms, finally catching his attention as he stilled for a moment, his deep panting breaths fanning over her face.
She let her eyes meet his, left him see the love she felt for him pour out, let him see the happy tears that escaped down her cheeks. Her heart swelled to an almost painful fullness and Kensi allowed the instinctive smile to stretch across her face. Deeks watched her with awestruck wonder, one hand going to trace the contours of her face and touch her tears with surprised reverence.
Without another word, Deeks surged against her again, pushing further and deeper and to a point that was past pleasure and almost pain. But as her toes curled and her neck arched back she knew it was easily the most intense pleasure she'd ever experienced as her body throbbed in a silent response to his release and then she gasped and felt the tightening of her body give way to an almost liquid looseness in her muscles.
The quivering in her body subsided gently as Deeks' lips found hers, kissing and caressing with unrestrained desire. It lacked the earlier urgency but none of the intensity. And his murmured words of affection were whispered almost incoherently against her mouth as he couldn't seem to make himself stop kissing her long enough to clearly voice his feelings. The warmth that grew and glowed in her had little to do with the afterglow of lovemaking and everything to do with how she could drive him to complete loss of control.
She couldn't deny he shattered any semblance of control she might try to possess. Knowing that, knowing the affect on her that he had, Kensi knew it was scary and dangerous and quite possibly the riskiest situation she'd ever allowed herself to be in. But it felt too amazing, was too rare and precious, for her to even contemplate regret or doubts. There was no going back now. Not for either of them. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
When Deeks moved his lips away from hers, kissing along her jaw and then her ear, she shivered as his scruff tickled her face. His low words and hot breath at her ear intensified her shivering. "Was that persuasive enough for you?"
Kensi couldn't help the uninhibited laughter that bubbled from her chest, couldn't help her affirmative smile that lifted her lips. And Deeks grinned right back, answering her humor and joy with his own laughter as he gathered her close, burrowing his nose in her hair.
It was much later as they lay in bed, contemplating the setting sun, that Deeks told her he'd signed the papers to become an NCIS agent. He was so certain and sure, his eyes full of that confidence she knew was as natural as breathing for him. Kensi knew it couldn't have been an easy decision for him. He was leaving behind a career he'd thought would define him for the rest of his life. This new life wasn't terribly different but it did change some of the driving motivations of who he was. And she knew, even without him saying, that she'd played a big part of what had changed his mind. She let him see the anticipation and excitement in her eyes so he would understand how much it meant to her that he'd taken such a big step.
Kensi let her hand graze over his arm, then reached up to rest her palm over the scruff of his neck and jaw. Deeks leaned into her touch, nudging his lips against hers for a slow kiss. It was a kiss that made her heart race but also brought on an overwhelming sense of calm that settled over her.
When Deeks pulled back after a few minutes to rest his head next to hers on the pillow she watched him with careful eyes, watched as his mind drifted to other thoughts in the quiet between them.
"Anything new when you met back up with the guys today?" Kensi asked quietly. Deeks' eyes shifted to her quickly and he nodded.
"Yeah, tomorrow I'm supposed to go with Jesse and Mike to meet the members of the drug cartel who clean the bank robbery money for them."
Kensi looked at him in surprise, giving his shoulder a light shove. "Marty! This is huge news. Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Deeks grinned mischievously, giving her a pointed look. "Well, you kind of distracted me. I had other things on my mind. Other very good and important things."
Not completely immune to his charm, Kensi rolled her eyes but didn't press further on that point.
"Do you know which cartel it is? Then we could get Nell and Eric to start looking into them."
Deeks hesitated and Kensi felt a flare of worry lodge in her chest.
"I couldn't get Mike to tell me which cartel it is," Deeks admitted.
"You've done undercover work with different drug cartels around L.A." Deeks nodded at her statement. "What if this is one you've encountered before? What if someone recognizes you from a different alias?"
The unease that drifted over Deeks' face confirmed to Kensi that he'd already had similar thoughts. Her worry multiplied exponentially as she thought of all the possible outcomes. Everything could be fine. Someone could recognize him as a previous alias and blow his cover. Someone could recognize him as a cop. Everything could be fine.
Kensi repeated the last phrase over and over, taking a deep breath to steady her heartbeat. She knew Deeks would have come to the same conclusions, he didn't need her to voice them. And he didn't need her worry to weigh him down. There was no question he would follow through with the meet. It was too important and they'd come too far.
Even though she tried to hide her concern, she should have known Deeks would see it, sense it, feel it, in every breath she took, every twitch and tensing of her muscles. And he was innately tuned into her in every possible physical and emotional way. Deeks ghosted a soothing hand up and down her arm to try and reassure her.
"I'm just going to have to hope I've never encountered these guys before. If by some unlucky happenstance someone recognizes me I'll do my best to get out of there."
Kensi had never felt quite so torn in two. There was the side of her that was Deeks' partner, concerned for his safety during a mission and concerned that he have the right kind of backup but also that he be able to complete his assignment. And there was the side of her that was his lover, worried for his safety and concerned with keeping him whole and unharmed. And she couldn't help her irrational wish that he stay out of danger. But for better or worse, that wasn't him and that wasn't them. Doing her best to separate the two halves of herself, Kensi carefully made her next suggestion.
"I think we should call OSP and have Sam and Callen tail you tomorrow. No comms, nothing like that. But just have them follow so that if something does happen and you have to get out of wherever you are in a hurry that you don't have to go too far to get some help."
Deeks looked as though he wanted to object, wanted to argue for the preservation of his deep undercover. But something in his eyes shifted and he nodded slowly. Kensi smiled softly, feeling relief swell and ease some of the worried ache in her chest. Deeks reached for his earwig from its hiding place in the false backing of the bedside table and offered it to Kensi.
"You want to do the honors?"
Kensi nodded eagerly and sat up, pulling one of Deeks' t-shirts on over her head before she took the comm, putting it in her ear and tapping it to activate the link with OSP. Within a minute Nell's voice filled Kensi's ear.
"Deeks? Are you and Kensi okay?"
Kensi smiled at the concern in Nell's voice, casting an interested look at Deeks. It was clear that the fondness that Deeks had developed for Nell over the last few months was mutual.
"It's Kensi, Nell. And we're fine, don't worry. Listen, is either Sam or Callen still there?"
"I think so, let me check."
The line was quiet for a few minutes and then Callen's firm but curious voice came through. "Kensi, what's going on?"
Callen's quick zeroing in on the matter at hand didn't bother Kensi. She'd always liked that he was straightforward. "Tomorrow afternoon Deeks is going to meet with the drug cartel members who help launder the bank robbery money. He doesn't know what cartel it is and in case it happens to be one he'd encountered while undercover before, or on the off chance someone recognizes him as a cop, I think it would be a good idea if you and Sam followed as backup. No communication, but if you were nearby and something went south at least he'd have some cover."
"That's a good idea, Kensi. What are the details?"
Kensi breathed a sigh of gratitude, then passed along the time and address of Marty Tyler's Venice apartment. Callen confirmed the information quickly.
"Tell Deeks we'll be there but we'll stay as far back as possible and won't intervene unless we see some kind of clear sign of danger."
Kensi thanked him, not able to hide the clear relief his words gave her. It satisfied both sides of her, the side that looked at him as her partner and the side that saw him as the man she loved, to know he wouldn't be alone.
"We'll watch out for him, Kensi. Try not to worry."
Kensi terminated the line after bidding Callen goodbye, grateful that he hadn't called her on her concern or made her feel like she was being irrational. She liked to hope that meant Callen agreed that she'd made a sound operational decision. Turning back around she saw Deeks watching her closely. She handed him back the earwig and he placed it back in its hiding place.
Deeks' hand on her back pulled her back to him and she laid down willingly, her head shifting to fit neatly against his shoulder and then moving to rest her ear on his chest. The silence was comfortable as Kensi reached out with one hand, finding Deeks' and lacing her fingers with his.
"Thank you for letting them back you up tomorrow. I think it's the best way to try and make sure you're safe while also not blowing your cover."
Kensi felt Deeks nod his head in silent agreement. She knew it still wasn't always easy for him to realize he had backup on hand. Even though the concept couldn't be more foreign at NCIS, going it alone had been normal with the LAPD.
"Thank you for caring enough to suggest it," Deeks replied, his voice low and rumbling under her ear. It still pained Kensi to hear the slight surprise in his voice. Old habits were still hard to break. Instead of commenting on it she simply nodded and tightened her hold on him. Words helped sometimes, she knew. But there were also times when actions spoke louder, spoke with volume and emphasis unlike any string of eloquent speeches or declarations.
I love you. Stay safe. Come back to me.
Kensi let the warmth of her body, the touch of her hands and the steady beat of her heart and rise and fall of her chest communicate every intimate message she didn't want to voice out loud.
It was one of the founding tenants of their partnership that they didn't lie to each other. Kensi didn't ask Deeks to promise her he would come back safe and sound. As much as she hated it she knew he couldn't promise her that, not if he wasn't going to lie to her. And she didn't want him to. The only promise she wanted from him was that he would watch out for himself and do everything he could to come back in one piece.
And he gave her that promise in his lips on her forehead and his answering embrace gathering her close.