I wake up sort of. I have this stress dream that happens. I dream that I am awake all night, so when I wake up, I don't know if I was up all night or asleep. I take Max for our final walk for 5 days. I try not to be sad. I know him and Harland will have a ball. I take him back to my apartment and before I know it, Luke is waiting outside for me. I grab my bag and head out the door. I am wearing jeans and a t shirt.
"Hey Beautiful. Ready to meet the fam?"
"I guess." I try not to look sick.
"Don't worry. They will love you."
We head to Sea-tac. As I am waiting for our flight to take off, I walk to the store in the terminal. That is where I see it. It is People Magazine. In a small picture on the cover is me dancing with Christian. My hands are shaking. This is so not good. I buy the magazine and head to the terminal. Inside I see a clearer picture of me at the wedding. My heart freezes in my chest. Soon they will all know how to find me. All the people that I left behind will know exactly where I am. I tell myself that no one from my past reads gossip magazines, and that Gary is safe in jail. God only knows what rock my evil step father is under or my mother for that matter. I text Harland to calm myself.
Me: made it to People magazine
Harland: no way.
Me: Yup cover and inside Christian must have sold the pictures.
Harland: Oh crap forgot to tell you. My intern lost the paperwork, and Gary is out of jail.
Me: WHAT?
Harland: Yea sorry honey. He won't bother you. That is too much energy.
Me: Hope you are right.
Harland: I am. Enjoy your trip.
Me: Thanks :(
I walk over to Luke. He senses my sadness and know that soon I will have to tell him my story. They call our flight. After we get on the flight to Missoula, I show him the magazine. He laughs and says, "I didn't know I was bringing home a celebrity." He laughs and kisses my temple. I try to relax. I am sure Harland is right why would any of them care. Before I know it, we are landing. The landscape outside is picture perfect. We make our way through the airport. When we get to the curb, there is his dad in a Chevy Pick Up truck. His dad comes out and shakes my hand. Father and son give each other the very manly silent hand shake.
It isn't a long trip to his parents ranch. The drive is very quiet except the radio playing softly in the background. It is country music of course. The drive to a ranch is down a long dirt road off the main road. There are cows on one side of the road and wheat on the other. There are mountains rising from behind the farm house. The ranch house and barns are at the end of the road. I see at least three vehicles. The farm house is beautiful exactly what you would imagine for a Montana ranch. It is all dark wood and one story. The barn is almost as big as the house. I feel like I am walking onto the set of Legends of the Fall. His mom is waiting on the porch with his sisters. His nieces are out there too. My nervousness is rising. I am trying to breathe, but it so isn't working it. The truck stops, and I know it is showtime.
As he gets out of the truck, one yellow lab and two chocolate labs come running out toward the truck. The three dogs run directly to Luke. He gets down with them, and it is like a welcome home party.
"Welcome!" His mom and sisters say. His brother-in-laws are at the far end of the porch. Sarah is his older sister. Sarah has long dark hair and is really beautiful. She is there with her two little girls Meagan and Elizabeth. His younger sister Hannah is there too. Hannah's hair is lighter than Sarah's but equally as beautiful. She has one little girl Riley and is pregnant with a boy due this fall. His mom is so beautiful. She is wearing a long flowing demin skirt and a tank top that is covered by a long western shirt. Her hair is thick dark brown with curls in it and a hint of gray. She comes to be and gives me a hug. Luke walks over to his brother-in-laws and shakes their hands.
"Luke, I would like a hand for the next few days, but today I will let you show your lady friend around."
"Yes, Sir." He says.
"Are ya hungry baby." His mom asks.
"A little, mom."
"Well, I made a lunch spread. Why don't you come inside and eat up."
When we get inside, she has a big fresh salad both a fruit salad and a veggie salad. She has pasta salad, and some lunch meat. She has a hardy homemade wheat bread and a homemade bread that looks like Italian bread. There are jugs of tea to drink. Luke guides me to the table. He puts me in a place where I am between Sarah and himself. I wonder if Sarah is the tougher one or the easier one. Lunch is light. The only questions I have to field are where am I from and how was Harvard. Was it really impressive? I try to help clear the dishes but his mom with have no part of it. After lunch, Luke and I head to the stables. He brings out a chestnut mare, and begins to saddle her up.
"Have you ever ridden?" He asks.
"Only once or twice and that was at dude ranches."
"Okay then you will ride with me."
He finishes saddling her up and helps me on. Then he comes up. He takes me down a path and shows me where all the cows are. He shows me the wheat fields, and then takes me back to his mother's garden. It is filled with every vegetable imaginable. He shows me her fruit trees. She has a very impressive garden. We start up a path that will lead us onto one of the mountains. As we climb he tells me stories of climbing these hills with his brother. He tells me about how they would spend hours climbing and then when they got to the top. They would lay there and watch the clouds roll by. The view as we near the top is incredible. I have never seen anything like it.
When we get to the top of the mountain, Luke gets off the horse, and then helps me off. He walks me to a place near the edge. There is a stream right below us. The sun is high, and it is lighting up the country below.
"Jackson," He yells, "You around big brother. I want you to meet my special lady. Jackson, this is Angelica."
"Hello, Jackson, it is a pleasure to meet you." I say to the wind.
Luke smiles that I am right in the moment with him.
"This was Jackson and my place. I just couldn't think of any place to better to introduce you too."
"I am honored that you would introduce us." I say.
"This is the place I have always felt close to him. This is kind of our place. My mom can't understand why I come here to talk to him instead of his grave in town, but this was the place that we always came to. We talked about our dreams, our hopes, girls we liked, and girls we didn't. This is where he taught me football moves." He tells me.
"Then this is where you should come to be with him. You know that this is where he would want you to go." I tell him.
"Would you like to sit here for a little bit?" He asks.
"Yes, I would."
He ties the horse to a tree on top of the mountain. He takes a blanket from the saddle bag and leads me to a nice shady spot. I sit on the blanket in front of him cross legged staring down at my fingers knowing that I need to be honest. He just introduced me to his brother. He takes my hands in his and brings them to his lips.
"You can tell me." He says.
"My past isn't exactly a fairy tale." I take a deep breathe and continue, "I was adopted and at 4 my father killed himself. Then my mom remarried, and he sexually abused me. The third husband was really nice actually. I left for college six months after they divorced. I never met my fourth or more step fathers. I haven't spoken to my mom in probably 4 years. In college, I had some pretty bad boyfriends. One of them was worse than the others. One night he put me in the hospital. I am telling you all of this because it is me. I am a messed up girl. You deserve better than my drama. When we were at the airport, I saw that magazine, and I know that my past can find me now." I look up and I see the strangest calmness in his eyes. I swear it is like he knew this all and was waiting for me to tell him.
"Angelica, no one has it easy. We all have our roads. Some are rockier than others, but it is the rocky roads that build us. What I see is someone that I want to spend a lot of time with and build new roads with."
"Why aren't you running? I am sure an all American boy like you could find an all American girl and settle down raising all American kids like your sisters."
"I am not going anywhere Angelica. I meant what I said to Harland. I am here for you, and I am going to earn your trust."
We spend the rest of the day on the blanket. At some point, I fall asleep. The sun and the air were so beautiful, and I felt so relaxed. I am wrapped in his arms. We head down the mountain to get ready for dinner. As we are coming down his dad and sister's husbands are bringing the herd into the closer pasture. That will protect them over night.
His mother is cooking a big spread. This time she is cooking it on the grill. She has burgers and chicken. I am afraid to ask just how fresh this all is, but I am sure that it is really fresh. We sit down for dinner. His father says grace, and then we begin to enjoy the feast. The family dynamic is so comfortable. Sitting here you would think Luke was here every night. The sisters and him are teasing each other. The little kids are delighted to have their Uncle Luke home. After dinner, we head outside to watch the sun set. This is like a slice of Heaven. His sisters head out. They have to get to their houses. They live up the road a piece. Tomorrow morning, I am going to help them in the garden while Luke works out in the field with his dad. We head back into the house, and his mom has made up the guest room for me. Before she went to bed, just as Luke had predicted, she said, "No, funny business Mr. You sleep in your room." I tried not to laugh.
The bed in the guest room is a big feather bed. It has a iron frame. It is exactly what you would picture. There are two homemade quilts on the bed. The one Luke told me was made by his Memaw. I take that one and head to bed. Tomorrow is my first day of being a farm hand. I half dread half look forward to spending the day with his mom and sisters.