I only own the OC'S!
It may take a little bit for the next chapter. I broke my thumb playing softball and well it's quite hard to type with a full cast. I'll get it up as soon as I can.
-smithchickx13
Chapter twentyone- new allies
The funeral ended leaving me with much more closure than I had before. It was still hard though, Pete, Remus and Lily decided to stay with us for the rest of the week. Most of it was spent outside in the lake or laying in our bedrooms. We had good days and bad days. Someday's I couldn't force James out of bed, and someday's he was the one forcing me or Sirius out of bed. Remus was constantly trying to get me to eat something seeing as Sirius and James gave up because for some reason, now they were barely eating themselves (I suspect they were only eating before to try and make me feel better). After the week was up they all went home with promises to owl us, I'm sad to say that after they left, James Sirius and I cut the crap and didn't even move out of bed most days. We didn't have to act like we were okay and we didn't have to pretend to smile. It was so much work getting out of bed for all of us that we were tired all the time. As school was only a week away we finally little by little started to get out of bed and go back outside to enjoy the lake. Little by little I also started eating again, seeing as James mentioned how much weight I lost when we were swimming in the lake. Finally five days before we were to go back to school our Hogwarts letter's came. I passed everything with flying colors, even without studying shows what that prat Amy knows. The boys also passed with the same grades I did. Then we were both surprised to find James made Head Boy. Even Sirius and I weren't too upset to tease him about this. It was the first time we all had a good laugh since it happened. He assured us that it didn't mean we couldn't prank people every once in awhile. Sirius made a slip by saying imagine what Jane would say. That shut us all up pretty quickly. The laughing stopped and ended with tears.
It was hard, so hard to think about them. How could someone simply be here one day laying out by the pool with you asking if they could give you away at your wedding and be gone days later? How is possible for someone to take away what meant so much to you? How could those death eaters kill without a care in the world? There were so many questions that I had, that would never be answered. And I hated it. Me, who always had the answers to almost everything, was clueless.
On the first day going back to Hogwarts we woke up a half hour before the train left. I woke up in the middle of James and Sirius as usual seeing as we didn't even bother to sleep separate anymore because if we did then one or two of us would have to get up and lay in the other bed for the rest of the day because we never left. None of us were too excited about going. We had a talk about whether or not we would go for our last year, or just go straight to the order but we all knew what Jane and James would say, so we decided to go.
I rolled over Sirius and stood up. "Well this is it." I told them. I got up not bothering to do my hair just putting it in my sloppy bun. I got dressed in jeans and a hoodie. James and Sirius got up and dressed quietly, dressing the same way I did, jean and hoodie. We all looked horrible. I know, I know we're supposedly the three best looking kids in our year but after what happened we didn't sleep, we hardly ate and we just plain looked tired all the time. I felt tired all the time, like it physically drained me to walk.
We walked into the train station with five minutes to spare. Our heads down watching the ground as we walked. We carried our trunks and didn't look up and we made our way through the barrier. Everyone was bustling around and were really loud. Seeing as I haven't heard this much noise in awhile I dropped my trunk and covered my ears. I looked and saw James and Sirius did the same thing. As they walked by us people would stare and whisper things. Of course they all new. It was a huge story in the Prophet. Jane and James Potter, head aurors killed by death eaters! And also do you know how many witches and wizards attended that funeral. Everyone saw us.
When we walked by another seventh year Hufflepuff, she gave us a pitying look. "Don't look at me like that you pushover." I snarled. She looked taken aback. I felt Sirius hand on my shoulder pushing me forward. We walked along the train everyone stopping dead in the tracks and conversations to stare.
"I wish they wouldn't stare." I said quietly.
"I know, Maurie believe me, I know." James said. Finally we reached the compartment in the back where we always sat and walked in.
"Merlin, I was beginning to think-" Remus started. Then said, "What in the hell happened to you guys, you look terrible." We all stared at him dryly.
"Thanks mate." Sirius said sarcastically. We all put our trunks on the shelf and sat down. Lily put her arms around James and gave him a big hug.
"Hey sweetie." She said kissing his cheek.
"Hello flower." He said back. I guess since I haven't been around people much I haven't noticed how dull his voice sounded. Did mine and Sirius sound that way too?
"Hey guys." Peter said.
"Hey wormy" I said back trying to smile but failing miserably. My life sucks.
"Well don't you guys look," Lily was trying to search for a word, "Happy." She eventually said.
I just shrugged. "What did you guys do after we left? Did you even attempt to get out of bed?" James, Sirius, and I exchanged a look wondering what we should tell them. We decided with the truth.
"No." James muttered.
"Oh, James." Lily said sadly. He just shook his head. Then Lily hopped up from her seat quickly.
"Whoa flower, too much movement, you're making my head spin." I said clutching my spinning head.
"Sorry," she said quickly. "James, we have to go to the Heads Department!" She said loudly. I clasped my hands over my ears as did Prongs and Padfoot.
"Alright women, just don't yell." He whispered. Everyone gave us strange looks but didn't comment. She pulled his hands up and pushed him through the door.
"See you later!" She said brightly, then closed the door. With more room on the seat I stretched my body across it with my head laying in Sirius' lap.
"I'm tired." I said yawning.
"Tired?!" Remus asked. "I bet all you guys did was sleep!" When Sirius nodded Remus made a noise of outrage. "And you think you'll feel better if you just lay there thinking about it all day, as oppose to getting up and doing something distracting?" he asked.
"Moony I don't know, you're making my head hurt with all these questions." He sighed.
"Did you guys do your summer homework?" I sat up quickly. No I didn't. Dammit!
Sirius looked at me wondering if I did it. "Don't give me that look, you know damn well what I did the last month and it was nothing! Dammit! McGonagall is going to murder us. You know, I think I'm going to take a trip to the Astronomy tower when we get to school." I told them.
"Why is that?" Wormy asked.
"To jump off." I said seriously.
"I think I might join you." Sirius told me, also seriously.
"Okay! That's it! I will make you three get up and do something. No more moping. You know what Jane always said, What's life without a little mischief. She wouldn't want you moping around! You guys are going to get up and do something dammit!" Remmie screamed at us.
"I-I don't know what to say to you." Peter said. He to sounded mad.
"Be prepared for a discussion when Lily and James get back." Remus snarled. I just sighed and resumed my position.
About an hour or so later they came back, James still looked tired and a mess and Lily looked angry. "Remus! Peter! That's it we are having a talk with them right now!" she demanded.
"I was thinking the same thing Lily, I waiting for you to get back." Remus said loudly.
"Uhhhhhhhhhh." I groaned.
"You three cannot continue to do this. I know I hate all your pranks but I will bloody allow you to go play a prank on the Slytherins." Lily said.
"Don't feel like it." James said. Wait. James not wanting to prank anyone? I just realized how seriously bad this situation was. I didn't want to either and that's what's scaring me. I always want to prank someone.
"James, I think we are in a seriously bad situation." I told him.
"How so?"
"We don't want to prank anyone. Think about. You, Sirius and Me not pranking and or planning a prank. This is bad." James eyes widened.
"Oh Merlin! You're right!" he yelled.
"This is bad!" Sirius agreed. Then it was like we suddenly snapped out of our slump.
"Who should we get first?" I asked.
"I was thinking hmm, Snape? He's always fun." James said.
"Yeah, maybe we should bring Avery in to this. We could sneak into the Slytherin common room, we haven't really done that before." The others looked at us as if we were crazy. We suddenly went from depressed kids, to the most notorious pranksters the school as ever seen. In other words we were sort of acting like ourselves again.
"No wait!" I interrupt them.
"What is it?" they ask in unison.
"Maria." I say with an evil grin. I watch as they grin back at me.
"Maria." They agree.
"Ravenclaw common room. I have a feeling, she is going to love for her blond hair to be dyed maroon. It would look simply lovely on her." I said still smiling.
"You know, I believe you're right." Sirius said. "But I think we should add it in her shampoo along with itching powder."
"Excellent idea, mate." James laughed.
Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh no, what have I done?" she asked herself. We just cracked up.
The rest of the ride was spent planning our prank for my cousin Maria and just laughing. I felt better than I had in weeks and this time it wasn't an act. And I knew they felt better too. After the speech and the great dinner, we were once again called to the headmaster's office. He sat in front of us his eyes sad.
"Well good evening James, Xeomara, and Sirius." He said smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Good evening sir." We said back.
"I haven't had time to check on you since the um- funeral, we've been quite busy with the order."
"Quite alright." I said to him. He looked at us strangely for a moment.
"I need your help." I looked to my left and shot a confused look to James who mirrored my expression.
"With what sir?" Sirius asked him.
"I know you're not order members yet, but I was wondering if you would do a mission for us." I smiled broadly at him.
"Of course!" I told him. He smiled down at me and this time his eyes twinkled.
"I should never of course ask this of students, or allow you to break school rules but times are tough and it needs to be done. I want you three to do whatever you can to spy on the slytherins and the ravenclaws. I need you to find out which students are death eaters though I'm assuming you already know. I want you to keep track of what they do and let me know if you hear anything." He stopped for a moment and then said "suspicious."
"I think we have just the tools for that sir." James said laughing a little.
"Why am I not surprised James." He said laughing along with him. He turned serious again. "You three had better make sure you don't tell anyone of your mission and don't get caught because if you do.." he trailed off.
"We won't sir." I said smugly, some of my confidence coming back.
"Good, you may go." With that we walked down the stairs. We were laughing and talking about the prank we were going to pull tomorrow night when I heard a voice behind me call my name. I whipped my head around to see Regulus coming out from behind the tapestry. What does he want to talk to me for? And besides is he crazy, what is he playing at. Does he honestly think I want to talk to him?
I walked over and cornered him. James and Sirius standing behind me.
"Oh, and what could you want of me Black?" I sneered. He looked a little scared of me and then I remember what happened last time we met. "Ah, this predicament is similar to the last time we met is it not?" I asked laughing coolly.
"I- I wanted to-" I cut him off not wanting to listen to him.
"Wanted to what Black? What do you think you're playing at coming to talk to me. What are you even doing here? We all know you serve Voldemort. Why bother coming to school. You know, I think you must be extremely thick. You are aware that the headmaster is Albus Dumbledore right? Who also knows you're a death eater. And yet you come to this school why?" Not waiting for him to answer I pulled out my wand.
"I wanted to talk to you actually- I wanted to-" he looked away nervously.
"Talk to her?! What could you possibly have to say to a blood traitor?!" Sirius questioned him angrily.
"Brother please, I-" I cut him off with a fist the nose. I heard a loud crunch and Regulus lifted his hand to hold his nose which was now leaking blood.
"Xeomara I-" I raised my hand to him again but James grabbed my wrist.
"I think you've done enough damage to the kid, don't you think? It's not worth it." He was referring to the curse I used on him summer break. I nodded and dropped my hand and pocketed my wand.
"You're lucky. It was stupid of you to come here." I then spun on my heel and stomped away. I noticed James next to me but Sirius hadn't moved. He was looking at his little brother but he didn't say a word. He opened his mouth but closed it quickly and the turned to follow us.
We reached Gryffindor tower and the common room was empty. I kissed Sirius good night and gave James and hug and kiss.
"I think we'll sleep better tonight now that we're not home, yeah?" James asked. I nodded and went to my room. I didn't sleep though, not yet. I laid there staring at my ceiling which I enchanted to look like stars. Then I heard the fluttering of wings and turn to see a silver patronus in the shape of an eagle.
"Meet me outside the forbidden forest." It said. I didn't know anyone who had an eagle but I knew I was going anway. I got up not bothering to get changed into clothes and ran out of the portrait. I made it to the forest and no one was there yet so I transformed to wait for who it would be. Hidden behind a tree I waited for ten minutes until I saw a dark shape walk towards where I was supposed to be meeting the person. As the person got closer I realized it was Regulus. I transformed back quickly and stepped out of the trees.
"Black." I greated coldly.
"Xeomara." He used my first name?
"You better have a good reason for pulling me out here in the middle of the damned night." He didn't answer for a second and it was then that I took a good look at him. He normally tanned skin was pale and his cheeks were sunken in. His eyes were more duller than I had ever seen them and he looked like he lost a lot of weight. I feel like I could pick him up and snap him in half like a tooth pick. His hair was messier, and longer than before. I looked back to his eyes again and saw that they were filled with tears. Regulus? Crying?
"I do." He said his voice cracking. I then felt bad for him, I know after what happened I shouldn't but I can't help it. He is my boyfriends brother.
"Regulus? What is it?" I ask softly. His face breaks and then he starts to cry. His hands in his head and his shoulders shaking with loud sobs.
"He's horrible!" he says loudly. "I hate him, I hate him!" I reach forward and put my hands on his shoulders.
"Who Regulus? Who?" He looks down and meets my eyes.
"Voldemort." He snarles, tears rolling down his cheeks still. At first I thought he was lying, then my second though was he called him voldemort not the dark lord, or master. Then my third though was why is he telling me this? As if reading my thoughts he said. "You said you could help me. I want your help. I want to get out." I still wasn't sure if he was sincere or not. How could I trust a death eater. How do I know it's not a trap and it won't get me killed.
"Why?"
"I-I at first I was astonished by his power, and I wanted it. I wanted all the power he could give me. I didn't care about all the pureblood and muggle-born crap I just wanted the power. Then now that I have it, I don't want it. Not the way he uses it." I stare at him while he speaks and I then realized how different he looks from Sirius. At first I always thought they looked alike same features same hair, and color of eyes but really, where Sirius looks young and playful, Regulus even though he is younger looks old and worn out. "The things he makes me do." He shuddered. "I can't do it anymore. When Dumbledore sent me back that night, I was punished. I was sent there to kill my brother and I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him." He looked down.
"Regulus, I don't know what to say. I don't know if I can trust you. I want to help you. I want to help you so much but how do I know you aren't lying."
"Take me to Dumbledore. Give me the truth potion." He said simply. Good idea.
"Let's go." I grab him hand and hold it in mine. He seems a little shocked by this but doesn't lets it go. When we reach the gargoyles I already know the password "lemon drop." The gargoyles jumped aside and we walked up the stairs and I knocked on the door. After a few moments of silence I heard "Come in."
I walked into his office with Regulus at my side. He looked at me with his eyes brow raised.
"I need your help sir." With that being said we sat down and both explained to him what Regulus told me just a few minutes ago. I thought he would look shocked but he didn't.
"I excepted as much." He told him. "I could tell you were different. I knew you were only in there for the power, but power can only take you so far." Regulus nodded.
"I am going to give you Veritaserum." He summoned it with his wand and gave it to Regulus to sip, he took a large sip and handed it back.
"Do you wish to leave Tom's ranks?" he asked sharply.
"Yes. I despise Voldemort." He answered back. I was surprised at all the hatred in his voice.
"Do you wish to do anything you can to get away from him?" Dumbledore asked again.
"Yes sir, I'd do anything."
"Curious, would you become a spy for the order of the phoenix?" I gasped, was he serious?
"Yes." He answered back again.
"I think that's all the questioning we need. Welcome to the right side Regulus." He said extending his hand. Regulus shook it without hesitation. He then turned to me. "Thank you." He sounded sincere.
"You're welcome. But sir, a spy?" I asked turning my attention to Dumbledore.
"Yes. It would be the only way for now. Later when things change for the better it would be safer to pull him out but if he really wants this then this is the only way."
"I want this sir." He said definitely.
"This could go bad for all us, if you are not true." Dumbledore told us. "Especially for you Xeomara." He looked at me, then to Regulus. "You are aware that this could get her killed." Regulus looked at me. "If this goes badly and you are lying or you fail in your mission all it takes is some simple mind reading, and Xeomara would be killed." I could feel Regulus eyes on me but I looked at Dumbledore. "Are you willing to risk this Xeomara, do you believe in him that much?" I thought about it for a second. Was I willing to risk everything to help someone get away from Voldemort. No, not just someone but Sirius' brother? Imagine how this would make Sirius feel to know, what his brother wants to do. Would I die for this? Yes. Of course I would.
"I trust him with my life sir." I said staring at Regulus now. "Don't disappoint me."
He smiled at me gratefully. "I owe you everything Xeomara, Thank you." He told me again. I smiled back at him.
"Here are the rules. Every month after you're meetings and such you and Xeomara are to report back to me. You are a team understood? Xeomara is a spying on the children while you are spying on the out of school death eaters. Be careful and don't get caught. You both are forbidden to tell anyone of what you do or hear but me. Xeomara, you must keep this a secret from your friends for now." I looked down thinking of how I was going to lie to James. But I needed to do this and I would. I would find someway.
"I will sir." I told him.
"Good. Now Regulus, I will see you this time next month. Or if you have urgent information contact Xeomara using you're patronus and get to me immediately. Same for you Xeomara. Everything understood?" he asked again
"Yes Headmaster." Regulus said.
"Okay, off to bed both of you. I seem to always be saying that to you don't I Miss. Raes." He laughed.
"You sure do sir." Once we reached the hallway he stopped me.
"I want you to know something, your eldest sister Amanda and her Husband our death eaters."
"Thank you for telling me, but since I already trust you I have no fear as to tell you this. They are also spies for the order. If you speak a word of this to anyone I will kill you myself." I told him seriously. He nodded. "I'm sure Dumbledore will have you meet with them so they know you're on both sides. If not things could go wrong."
"I know. I really can never thank you enough. My brother is lucky to have you. Xeomara really, you-" I smiled at him.
"Call me Zee, and really you can stop thanking me. This is just as much my job as it is yours. I'll become an order member when I graduate. This is I guess a test mission."
"Zee, you really are something." He said and then he gave me a true genuine smile. "Be good to my brother yeah?" he asked.
"I will, I promise you, that one day you will be able to have a real relationship with him. It won't always be like this. It will get better. I promised I'd help you get away now I'm promising you that. Now do something for me. Be careful Reggie." He didn't comment on the nickname I used for him.
"I will, and you better be as well." With that he turned and walked away, but then called over his shoulder "See you soon." I stood there watching him walk away. I didn't have a bad feeling about this at all. I knew I did the right thing and I had complete faith in him. I knew he wasn't lying, I knew he was telling the truth. I thought back to when he cried and told me how horrible he was and how scared he looked. Then I remembered how I used the cruciatus curse on him this summer. Next time, we meet I'll apologize. Though one thing continued on in the back of my mind as I walked to Gryffindor tower, what if this ends badly?