See first chapter for disclaimers and warnings. Just know that I don't claim ownership of any material belonging to JK Rowling or Warner brothers and who ever might own Harry Potter.

The next block of chapters won't be out for a week and half on Friday. I'll be gone all week without my computer and it's hard to upload on my phone.

Happy reading.

"Harry, get your butt in here. It's my turn to read." George shouted across the room.

The dark haired teen choked on the last of his breakfast. "One of the twins wants to read?" He asked his godfather with wide eyed shock. He could hear Molly in the background berating her son for rushing 'the poor boy.'

Sirius chuckled as he carried their dishes to the sink. "I think it has more to do with who we're reading about." He teased causing the kid to make a face.

"Finally." George announced dramatically as they took their seats. "On to year two."

"Hopefully this year isn't a repeat of their first year." Kingsley said. The adults all looked pointedly at the headmaster, who was being uncharacteristically silent.

Ron and Harry grimaced and shifted in their seats. Bill noticed and grinned, having been in their position many times in his past. "Something tells me there is plenty of trouble caused by the misfits." He said chuckling.

"Trouble is one thing but surely they won't be risking their life like what happened in the previous book." Emmeline decided.

Molly winced, having some idea about what was coming. "Don't be counting your chickens before they're hatched." She advised.

"On that note." George announced reading out the name of the chapter.

"I already hate this book." Sirius sighed. He would find it funny that the fat git of an uncle was being woken early by the owl if it wasn't for the fact that his kid would be paying the price.

"What's wrong with Hedwig?" Ginny asked in alarm. She was very fond of the snowy owl. "She knows not to get you into trouble at that foul house."

"You'll see." Harry responded throwing an angry look at the book as his good mood rapidly deteriorated. His dislike of his uncle had increased tenfold that summer over the treatment of his familiar.

"They locked her up?" Tonks asked in outrage.

"Not the only thing they locked up that summer." Ron spat out.

"But that's animal cruelty. She could die if she's not allowed to fly." Charlie cried out. "Not to mention how was she supposed to hunt?"

"Don't know why you're so surprised. We've already established they're not the most caring of people." Hermione pointed out, exasperated. She rather wished the book hadn't gone back to the Dursleys. She didn't think any of them needed any reminder of how awful those people were.

George was laughing almost too hard to be understood as he repeated Vernon's question of looking stupid.

"If not I'm sure I can recommend several things to help with that." Sirius suggested calmly, smirking as his godson snorted.

"I'm afraid your help won't be needed Black." Snape said dryly. "He seems to be able to accomplish the look quite well on his own."

Ron had to manually close his mouth when he realized his evil professor had just made a joke. He rolled his eyes when Vernon claimed he knew what would happen if he allowed Hedwig to fly about.

"She'd fly away and alert people that the boy who lived wasn't being treated right." Tonks pointed out.

"And then a whole street full of wizards would show up and expose their badly kept secret." Charlie continue eagerly.

"The majority of them being redheads." Bill added with a grin.

"And they'll rescue the boy who lived and live happily every after." Ginny finished, smirking.

Harry laughed. "If that's the case then I guess Uncle Vernon did know what he was doing after all." He made a face at his cousin's table manners while his aunt fussed over him.

George stopped reading to look over the book at Harry. "Build him up?" He asked in disbelief.

Harry shrugged. "Personally I don't see how he could get any bigger but this is Aunt Petunia we're talking about."

Molly sighed. "I know they're not nice but really you shouldn't talk like that." She scolded. "He can't honestly be that big."

While Sirius frowned at the woman Harry stood up and held out the extra large tee shirt he was wearing. "This was Dudley's shirt five years ago."

Emmeline gapped at the size of the garment. "Sweet Merlin." She breathed in disgust.

"Why are you wearing that disgusting thing?" Snape snapped out with a sneer. He was being forcibly reminded of his own childhood.

Harry shrugged as he sat back down. "It's the only thing I have besides my uniforms and jumpers from Mrs. Weasley."

Sirius rubbed a hand down the thin back. "Something we'll fix as soon as we're done here."

Harry shrugged. "You don't have to." He mumbled looking at the ground.

Sirius tugged at the messy hair until the teen was looking up again. He simply lifted an eyebrow. "Okay, okay you have to." The teen conceded with a slight grin.

Tonks whooped. "Shopping trip." she announced. Remus's eyes widened and he exchanged a concerned look with Sirius.

"Umm Dora?" He winced when the violet eyes radiated happiness as they turned in his direction. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"And why not?" She asked, the pink hair darkening to a warning red.

"Oh um well..." Remus floundered as he looked around for help.

"I'm not sure Harry has the same taste as you dear." Molly told her kindly.

"You do wear a lot of pink." Charlie pointed out with a grin.

"Well it's not like I'm going to dress him up in a frilly dress." She retorted, laughing as Harry's eyes widened in horror.

"I don't want to go shopping in the first place." He whined, sending his godfather a pitiful look.

Sirius tried to look sympathetic. "It's necessary kiddo. I'd take you myself but..."

Remus snorted. "If I remember correctly your tastes at sixteen favored leather."

Across the room Snape was pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'll take the bloody brat shopping if it means we can continue reading."

"Sure if we wanted Harry to look like a bat." George mumbled finding his spot on the page. He chuckled when Harry used the forbidden M word to the Dursleys.

Mcgonagall groaned. "Mr. Potter you must learn when to hold your tongue."

The twins looked at each other and grinned. Sticking out their tongues they each grabbed onto the tip.

"Rheallee uatss oint?" Fred slurred.

"Boys." Arthur sighed.

The twins shrugged as they wiped their hands on their shirts. They had gotten the attention off Harry so goal accomplished.

"Really they're acting like Voldemort himself had shown up." Remus growled.

"Though that would be amusing." Sirius mused with a wink for his godson.

"Maybe not that far." Harry grinned back. "Though the dementors this summer were pretty funny, looking back."

Charlie burst out laughing at Vernon's tirade. "Harry." He mock admonished. "How dare you, young man, saying such bad words."

Harry blushed and ducked his head, the admonishment effective as he remembered the words he'd thrown at his godfather earlier.

'Keep reading' He mouthed looking directly at George. The redheaded twin looked intrigued but did as his friend asked. Merlin knew he and his brother had needed a distraction too many times to count. He frowned as the walrus yelled at Harry for threatening his son.

"I'm sorry but where in there was a threat?" Kingsley asked politely.

"Just the fact that I spoke to him is considered a threat." Harry mumbled under his breath.

Sirius, who had been playing close attention to the teen, and Remus were the only ones to hear and both gave him sad smiles.

George continued reading as things settled down and the book went into introductory mode, describing Harry as not a normal boy.

Harry's lips quirked up at the wording and he shared a grin with his godfather. "I get that from you." He told the older man, causing his smile to widen. He grinned when it mentioned how much he missed Hogwarts and everything in it with the exception of Snape.

"And here I'd been pinning for you all summer." Snape drawled to the amusement of the room.

"He really does care for you Harry, even if he acts like he doesn't." Luna said serenely, causing the teens to gape at her and the potions professor to glare heavily.

"I really don't like that girl." he snarled under his breath.

Beside him Dumbledore chuckled quietly. "She does have a way of looking at things, doesn't she."

Snape snorted at the mention of Hagrid, still angry over the small Ravenclaw's words. "I'm thinking with the amount of trouble Hagrid inadvertently caused during their first year, maybe it would best if visits to him were restricted." He looked pointedly at Sirius. Harry's eyes opened wide as he too turned to look at his godfather.

Sirius slowly shook his head, having thrown a glare at the potions master. "I wouldn't do that." he reassured the upset teen. "I know how much your friends mean to you."

"You promise?" Harry insisted, giant spiders running through his head. "You won't change your mind?"

Remus narrowed his eyes and he stopped Sirius from speaking. "Just what does Hagrid do that's making you so worried?" he asked instead.

Harry exchanged a defeated look with Ron before motioning George to keep reading. He could feel his godfather's eyes on him.

"Harry." Hermione was frowning at the complaint that he couldn't practice quidditch because everything was locked up. "You live in a muggle town. How would you practice even if you did have your broom?"

"That wasn't the point Hermione." Harry explained impatiently.

"Yeah he didn't actually care about practicing." Fred said throwing the teen a grin.

"He was just whining about his stuff being locked up." George laughed at the indignant look on the teen's face before he continued reading. He exchanged grins with his twin as Harry was described in the book, in particular the scar that alluded to a mysterious past.

"Oh now we know why Harry's so popular with the girls." Fred teased, continuing their campaign of taking Harry's mind off his gits of a family.

"Mysterious past." George snorted. "Girls just love stuff like that."

"Mrs. Weasley have you had the pleasure of having a skiving snackbox?" Harry asked trying to hide his red face. His godfather was laughing as he tried to tug the pillow away.

"That was low." George cried dramatically.

"Real low." Fred agreed, pretending to be furious.

"Almost as low as Hermione threatening to tell mum about..." George trailed off as he realized what he'd almost revealed.

"About what indeed?" Molly asked with a pointed look at the twins.

"Nothing mum." They chorused, sending one more pouting look at the dark haired teen who grinned.

Ron scowled at the comrodity between his best friend and his brothers, hiding his irritation by pretending the recap of Harry's history was causing it. He snorted when the book compared Harry to a smelly dog.

Remus grinned. "You don't even know your godfather yet and you're already comparing yourself to him."

"Hey." Sirius exclaimed giving his friend a small shove. "I do not smell." He whipped around to mock glare at his godson. "And not a word out of you."

Harry mimed zipping his lips but couldn't resist sniffing the air. His good mood was ruined at the mention of the Dursleys ignoring his birthday.

"Wow." Ron said sarcastically. "Even one year at Hogwarts spoiled you if you expect to be acknowledged by them."

Hermione nodded. "It must have been really hard to go back."

"Harder that summer." Harry smiled sadly. "Since I didn't have..."

"Didn't have what?" Sirius asked in concern.

Harry shrugged. "It'll tell you in a minute." He gestured to the book wincing at his stupidity at Vernon's announcement of an important day.

"I don't believe it." Bill snarled.

"I don't think anyone does." Arthur assured his oldest, a grim look on his face.

"Oh yes, a business opportunity is so much more important than a little boy." Molly growled a moment later. She turned to the Marauders. "Perhaps we should have a party this week." She mused. "The poor thing never had a party before."

"Yes lets spoil him horribly in an attempt to make up for his childhood. That won't give him mixed signals or anything." Snape drawled.

"I don't need a party." Harry mumbled.

"But a party is a good idea." Charlie pointed out. "I think we can all use some fun." His mouth dropped open as the Dursleys rehearsed their business dinner.

"They have to plan these kind of things?" Tonks asked in disgust.

"Well we've already established that they have no imagination." Kingsley pointed out. "If they didn't have a plan they would probably just stand around with their mouths open."

"Very true." Harry smirked as he listened to Petunia's role in the play.

"That would be the first sign to start running very fast in the other direction." Neville pointed out, earning back slaps from the twins. He held up his hands after hearing what Dudley would be doing.

"Oh sorry, that would be the first sign, after they finished sicking up of course." Neville pointed out as laughter filled the room. Harry exchanged started looks with his friends. Neville was appearing more confident and outgoing than they'd even seen him.

"I saw Emmeline talking to him about his parents this morning." Hermione told them in a whisper. "Apparently it was something he needed to hear.

When the book told of Harry having to stay in his room for the night the laughter died down as they all turned to stare at the teen in pity. He shrugged. "Really its where I would prefer to be."

"Too true." The twins agreed having exchanged a look. "If they really wanted to punish you they would make you stay downstairs and watch." Fred pointed out.

"Hmmm ribs broken from trying not to laugh." George mused.

"He would go blind of course."

"Not to mention poisoned by whatever the horse cooked."

"Really you got the better deal." They decided with a grin. Harry was the only one to agree with them. Everyone else in the room remained grim faced as they continued to listen to the stage directions.

Ginny gagged when Petunia called Dudley her little gentleman and Emmeline hissed in displeasure when they practiced compliments.

"It's called good manners. You shouldn't have to plan them." She fumed.

Hermione gave a vicious grin when Dudley lied about writing an essay about their guests. "Oohh I hope this Mr. Mason calls him on it and asks for details of the essay." She said with relish. "The fat lump won't be able to answer seeing as how he's yet to meet this Mr. Mason."

Harry snorted. "Wouldn't matter if he had. I've seen Dudley's homework. He has no idea how to write an essay."

McGonagall sighed. "It astounds me Mr. Potter that you can still find humor despite what those people put you through."

"He's a marauder." Sirius grinned. "We can find humor everywhere."

"Or we make our own." Remus grinned.

George continued reading, scoffing at the idea of vacation homes in Majorca.

"Like I'd even get to go with them." Harry snorted.

"But that would be brilliant." Ron exclaimed. "They wouldn't be around and you could come to us instead."

"If I wasn't locked away with no food while they were gone." The dark haired teen pointed out.

Ron waved the words away. "We'd rescue you again and you could spend the summer with us."

"What do you mean rescue him again?" Sirius asked in trepidation. He huffed when his godson playfully ignored him.

"It could be worse." Tonks sighed at the mention of Petunia cleaning. "At least there was nothing said about Harry doing any of it." The entire room groaned.

"What?" she demanded, shrinking back from the glares.

"You jinxed it you foolish girl." Moody snapped.

"Is it possible to jinx something that's already happened?" Remus asked pleasantly, coming to the quirky girl's rescue. He winced when the new 12 year was forced to sing happy birthday to himself.

Harry flushed in mortification and attempted to wedge himself in the cushions of the couch.

"Oh Harry." Molly cooed, moving to get out of her own seat to comfort the child.

"Don't." Sirius whipped out even as Arthur pulled his wife back with a softly muttered 'Molly'.

Fred looked around in disgust at all the pitying looks. Didn't anyone realize how bad they were making the slight teen feel?

"Really Harry be glad you haven't celebrated a birthday at the Burrow." He stage whispered conspiratorially. Bill's eyes widened and he blushed but allowed his younger brother to continue without interruption. "Have you ever heard of Birthday spankings?"

"Fred." Ron hissed as his face turned a deep red. Ginny squeaked and buried her face in a pillow.

Arthur grinned proudly at his son. "In our household the birthday boy or girl gets a spanking from every member of the family."

"Even if you're grown and moved out." Bill muttered as he avoided everyone's eyes. Charlie was chuckling, not embarrassed at all.

"A fine tradition." Sirius agreed chuckling when his godson gave him a small shove.

"One we will not be starting." The teen announced. He sent a covert but grateful smile at the grinning Fred. Really he didn't think he would have made it through the first book if it hadn't been for them and already they were working their magic with this book. He turned to grin at his best friends when they were mentioned, just now realizing how quiet they'd been.

Hermione smiled and gave his hand a squeeze while Ron grinned over the top of her head. "Missed you too mate." They both ducked their heads when it was revealed Harry hadn't heard from them.

"Granger, Weasley. Why haven't you made contact with Potter?" Snape snapped. Sirius and Remus were glaring at the two.

"We were." Ron roared back.

"There really is a good explanation." Hermione said in a small voice. Neville and Luna were staring at them in shock.

"You shouldn't abandon your friends." The blond girl said. "There's never a good reason for that." She frowned at them before turning back to the book.

Kingsley cocked his head as he listened to Harry's monologue about underage magic restrictions "Well at least you had a weapon." Kingsley said though he was frowning. The guidelines for underage magic really needed to be revised. It was wrong when a child felt he couldn't save himself from an abusive system for fear of ministry reprisal. He did give a smile at Harry's taunting of his cousin.

"You really are too much like your godfather." Emmeline shook her head. "If I didn't know better I'd say you two were related by blood." The two males exchanged pleased looks.

"How exactly do blood wards work?" Hermione spoke up. "I've tried to do some research but I couldn't find a whole lot."

"Hermione I don't think now is the time" Remus started.

"But it is. It's obvious from what's been written that there's no love in that house." She rushed out. "After coming to Hogwarts he no longer considers it a home. And since meeting Sirius, who he now considers family, how are the wards staying powered?"

"Breathe Mione, breathe." Ron teased quietly, though he too was looking at the headmaster.

"I do believe that its not something that needs to be discussed right now." Dumbledore stated, staring up at the ceiling.

"But." Hermione trailed off unhappily. Harry too was frowning.

"Don't worry." Sirius said in a low voice. "It'll be brought up again." His thoughtful expression turn to a frown at the thought his godson's friends had forgotten his birthday.

"We hadn't." Hermione reassured him. Ron was glaring at the wall in anger.

Harry gave her a small smile as he ignored the mutterings from around the room. "I know." He grimaced as he was reminded of wanting to talk to anyone, even Malfoy.

"Now that's going a bit too far." Fred snorted. "Though I'd be happy to let him know if you want."

"I don't think that's necessary." Harry hurried to say. He sighed when his nightmares after the stone incident were revealed and his godfather tensed next to him.

"Did no one suggest any type of counseling?" Kingsley asked. "The boy had been through a horrible ordeal and you just ship him off to the muggles?"

"We had no idea they treated him so horribly." McGonagall answered stiffly.

"But you knew as muggles they wouldn't understand. How did you explain to them what happened?" Remus asked.

Tonks sighed as she read the guilty face. "You didn't tell them."

Sirius shook his head as he squeezed his godson's shoulder. "I can't believe I'm going to say this but maybe you should have been placed in Slytherin. At least Snape would have actually taken care of you."

McGonagall flinched at the words. "The headmaster insisted on contacting them himself, since he knew them. Though I admit I should have paid more attention. I'm sorry Potter."

He shrugged not willing to accept anything at the moment. "These weren't nearly as bad as this past summer and I was left alone then too." He pointed out stiffly. He gave a half smile when George read about the eyes staring back at him from the hedge.

"What's there?" Sirius asked in alarm sitting up.

"Nothing dangerous." Harry assured him.

Ron snorted. 'That's a matter of opinion." He couldn't help chuckling at the verbal sparing between Harry and his cousin.

Sirius barked out a laugh at Harry's retort of learning the days of the week while Bill nodded approvingly.

"A huge achievement I'm sure." He said dryly. "Only took him twelve years." His smile slid off his face when Dudley reminded them that Harry didn't seem to have any friends.

"Of course he does. They're just being gits right now." Neville growled.

"It wasn't our fault." Ron yelled glaring at his dorm mate.

"It'll be explained soon Neville." Harry said, placing a restraining hand on his best friend.

Charlie chuckled when the dark haired teen told his cousin he was trying to decide which spell would be better to set the hedges on fire. "Considering how much bigger he is you shouldn't antagonize him him like that but it's still funny. The git deserves it."

Bill frowned at him. "As long as he doesn't take it out on Harry or worse tell his parents."

George laughed when the fat boy backed away in panic. "Ooohh he said the M word. Better not let mummy and daddy hear."

The rest of the room joined him in laughing at the nonsense words Harry tossed at his cousin. Even Snape had a small twist of his lips which shocked his students.

"That's my godson." Sirius clapped him on the back.

"What'd she do to you?" Came a quiet voice. Everyone turned to find Molly looking grave.

"Sorry?" Harry asked not understanding.

"What did that woman do?" She asked vehemently. Tonks groaned as the marauders looked at him expectantly.

"Nothing much." Harry shrugged. "Nothing bad."

"Your idea of bad and ours differ Mr. Potter." Snape sighed. His expression tightened when Petunia swung a frying pan at the boy.

Remus eyes flashed as Sirius began running his hand over the dark head. "She didn't get me." Harry exclaimed, ducking out of the way.

"She could have cracked your skull." Molly screeched.

"But she didn't." He said patiently.

"This time." Ron muttered darkly. He gawked at the long list of chores his friend was given.

"Impressive Potter." Moody grunted. "That's a lot of work for a twelve year old."

"Hmph, it does explain how you get through your detentions so fast." Snape mused. "I do believe I shall have to find more creative ones." Harry made a face as he thought about the out recent detentions he'd endured.

His eyes narrowed as George read about the large pudding Aunt Petunia had made. "I really hate that pudding." He muttered causing some raised eyebrows.

"Why?" Remus asked cautiously.

"You'll see." He answered darkly. Sirius rubbed a hand through the messy hair, giving what comfort he could. He growled when the roast pork was mentioned and his godson was only given bread and cheese.

"You worked all day and that's all you got?" Molly asked in outrage.

"He's probably lucky he even got that much." Bill muttered. He sat up in shock as George finished the chapter by announcing that someone was waiting for Harry in his room.

"Hurry Charlie get the book and find out who it is. " Arthur urged.