A/N. Okay. I could be wrong but I think I can wrap this story up at thirty chapters. But I'm really horrible at setting limits for my stories so I could also be way off. We shall see. I don't own anything.

Kendall rearranged the pencils of James' desk for the sixth time then let his gaze wander around the room, resting on each of his friends for just long enough so that he was sure they were safe.

Carlos was still curled up in James' bean bag chair, snoring softly. His position made him look even smaller than usual and without his helmet, he looked extremely vulnerable. But he looked peaceful at the same time.

Kendall frowned when he saw Logan. He was propped up against the side of James' bed and fast asleep. He was going to wake up with an awfully stiff neck if he didn't move. Even though he was a light sleeper, Logan never moved around very much so Kendall quietly moved from his chair and as gently as possible, moved Logan so that his head rested on the soft carpet in a more comfortable position.

He stood up and reached for an extra pillow for Logan to rest on but stopped to study James. He sighed and his frown deepened. James' breakdown earlier that day had scared Kendall to death. James never panicked. At least not when he was concerned. He was too confident for that. But today, he had been on the floor, sobbing in complete terror when Kendall had reached him. And then he couldn't get through to him because he wanted Carlos and Logan to be there too. He needed all of them so much that it frightened Kendall.

Now James looked much more at ease. He was sleeping peacefully, thanks to Logan's careful assessment of him and solution. He still looked incredibly tired though and Kendall, who had been grateful for the fact that Logan had started sleeping soundly, mentally kicked himself for forgetting all about James.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, wanting to say more but not wanting to disturb James' much needed rest. He slid a pillow from the bed and then carefully lifted Logan's head and set it on the floor. Then he sighed again and moved back to his place at James' desk.

They were all so broken. Carlos was timid and quiet, something Kendall hated. He wanted Carlos to start bouncing off the walls again and getting excited about Fish Stick Friday and every other little thing that drove Kendall crazy but he loved because that was who Carlos was. Logan was going to therapy and taking antidepressants for crying out loud. Because they had let him slip so far away that they almost never got him back. James, despite the fact that he had almost died, had somehow slipped under the radar and everyone's concern. And Kendall himself. He was lost again. He couldn't give his friends all the help they needs and it killed him. He wanted to be the strong leader that they depended on. But he couldn't. They had all fallen together this time. It was comforting and scary at the same time.

It was also comforting to know that they weren't the only ones scarred by the tragedy. There had been others. Many others. And some of them had suffered an irreplaceable loss. Kendall shivered at the thought and looked at his friends again. They were alive.

As if to prove his point, Logan stirred and opened his eyes. His gaze instantly met Kendall's and he sat up, rubbing his sore neck. "Are you okay?" He whispered, not wanting to wake James and Carlos up.

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay. I was just thinking."

Logan drew his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. "About what?" He asked, still watching Kendall closely.

"A lot of things." Kendall told him honestly. "You guys, the shooting, school. . ." He trailed off.

"The trial?" Logan guessed. "Because I've been thinking about the trial. A lot. It's mostly what I think of lately, you know? Because school. . . well, that didn't work out very well, did it?" He glanced over his shoulder at James who was still fast asleep and sighed.

"Do you know what's going to happen at the trial?" Kendall couldn't help asking.

"Basically, they're going to ask a lot of the students and teachers what happened." Logan looked down. "Andrew's lawyer will probably try to get him off with a plea of guilty and temporary insanity."

"Are you kidding?" Kendall caught himself before he spoke to loudly. "Can they actually do that? I mean, that doesn't seem right."

Logan rolled his eyes. "That's the justice system, Kendall. It's screwed up." He tried to speak in an offhand manner but his shaking voice betrayed him.

Kendall moved from his chair to the floor besides Logan. "Do you think it'll work?"

"I don't know." Logan shrugged. "It could go either way. I'd like to think that everyone will be testifying against him, that Andrew won't stand a chance." He looked at Kendall. "But a lot of innocent people go to jail and a lot of guilty people go free."

"That's messed up." Kendall ran a hand through his hair. He didn't know what else to say. He had never really doubted that Andrew would be seen as guilty by the jury and locked away where he could never hurt anyone ever again. But Logan knew more than he did and his explanation made sense in a twisted way. "How can-" He broke off and shook his head. "I don't get it."

"Neither do I." Logan admitted. "I'd like to believe that everything will go smoothly but there's no way of knowing for sure. We just have to wait and see."

Kendall suddenly wondered if he should continue the conversation. He studied Logan intently, looking for the shadows but there were none to be found. The younger boy only seemed to be in deep thought. "What scares you the most?" He heard himself ask.

"The defense attorney." Logan replied immediately. "He's going to do everything possible to scare us on the witness stand. He's going to make us look like the bad guys."

"That's impossible." Kendall scoffed. "We didn't do anything to Andrew."

Logan was silent as he thought of Andrew's own words to him and James. "We never did anything for Andrew either." He said, softly. "No one was his friend. Everyone either ignored him or bullied him. That's a big reason why stuff like this happens, Kendall. Because no one cares until it's too late."

"Is that what Andrew's lawyer is going to do?" Kendall asked.

Logan nodded. "It's entirely possible that Andrew could have snapped for just long enough to shoot up the school. His lawyer will paint him as the victim and us as the. . . whatever."

"Will we have to talk?"

"Probably. I mean, James and I definitely will have to." Logan frowned at the thought. "I'm worried about James up there." He confessed to Kendall. "We'll have to talk about it and it won't be easy."

Kendall groaned. "I hate all of this so much." He whispered. "I can't do anything to stop it and help you guys."

"You are helping us." Logan was quick to reassure him.

"Not as much as I want to." Kendall muttered. "Look at what happened to James today."

"I told James that it's not unusual for someone to have a panic attack about a traumatic event in their life." Logan told him. "I mean, he was in the room again where Andrew first started shooting. I'm surprised the whole room wasn't freaking out when we got there. If I was the principal I'd have that room demolished."

Kendall looked up in surprise at Logan's blunt words. "Really?" He smiled when Logan nodded. "I like that idea. We should start a petition."

"I don't even want to go back at all." The fire in Logan's eyes died and he drew closer to Kendall. "I just can't see how we're going to get past all of this."

"The same way we made it past anything." Kendall put a comforting arm around his friend's shoulders. "Together."

"I know." Logan sighed. "I also know that there's no way I could make it through this on my own. So I'm glad we're together. It's still scary to think about. I never want to set foot in that school again."

"Maybe we can figure something else out." Kendall suggested. "I don't know what exactly. Any options?"

The tense look in Logan's eyes relaxed a little as he considered Kendall's question. "We could always switch schools. Um, we could get home schooled." He smiled a little. "I'd be willing to help you guys. I think we could do it. We'd just have to work really hard. Especially now since everything got put on hold for so long." He rolled his eyes. "Again."

"At least we're all alive and for the most part healthy." Kendall pointed out softly.

"Very true." Logan sighed. "That's always nice."

"It's pretty terrific if you ask me." Both boys jumped at the sound of Carlos' voice. He grinned at their reaction and dragged his bean bag over to join them. "Don't get me wrong, Logie but I like you shot and broken better than when you were sick." His voice trembled a little. "At lease we know for sure that you're going to be okay."

Logan had to blink back the tears that came to his eyes. "Thanks, Carlos." He said with a small smile. "Me too."

"See?" Kendall grinned at Carlos. "We've got you outnumbered, Logan."

"Gee, thanks so much for ganging up on me." Logan returned goodnaturedly. "It would be nice if I could have someone on my side."

"I'll be on your side." James sat up and looked around sleepily. "What are we doing?"

"Carlos and I are trying to convince Logan that it doesn't matter if it's taking a little long to finish our senior year." Kendall said.

James blinked. "Oh. Well, sorry Logan, I'm going to have to side with Carlos and Kendall too."

"How are you feeling, James?" Logan switched the light hearted topic to a more serious one as he watched James in concern.

"Better." James nodded. "I really needed the sleep and it's nice to be home." He sighed and slid off the bed to sit on the floor with his friends. "I feel kind of stupid now though." He glanced down at his hands in embarrassment.

"Don't." Kendall shook his head. "Nobody can blame you, James. It makes horrible sense."

"Still." James looked from his hands to Logan's. "I hurt you."

"You didn't know, James." Logan said patiently. "You were having a panic attack for crying out loud." He carefully unwound the thin bandages that he wrapped around his hands every day. "See? They're fine."

But in James' eyes, the palms were a little more swollen and red than normal. He gently touched one with his fingertips, snatching his hand away when Logan flinched. "I'm-"

"It's okay." Logan shut his eyes for a second. "They're mostly sore because I was using them all morning long. It sounds a little silly but it's hard to hold a pencil for as long as I need to."

"I sure didn't make it any better." James said regretfully.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Well, you didn't make them worse so stop making something it's not."

"I'll try." James managed a small smile. "But next time, stop me okay?"

"Well, hopefully there won't be a next time." Logan said optimistically. He rewound the bandages and continued speaking. "I have a question." He said slowly.

"And that is?" Carlos watched him curiously.

Logan finished wrapping his hands and looked up. "Do you think you guys would be able to discipline yourselves to do all of your school work if you needed to? Like, no teachers telling you what to do I mean."

All three of the boys nodded. "Why would we have to?" Kendall asked in confusion.

Logan shrugged. "We're all nineteen. Technically we're adults. We could home school ourselves if we really wanted to."

James sat up and stared at him. "Are you serious?" He demanded. "We can do that?"

"Yeah." Logan smiled to see James so eager for once and nodded. "We'd have to sign up for a program and they'd send us assignments and everything but we could do it. I could help you guys." A haunted look crossed his face. "I can't go back there." He said quietly. "Today was too hard. I just kept thinking about all the kids and the teachers who died and how I never really got to know any of them. It's too late now." He glanced at James. "And I'm afraid of leaving you guys again. Not everywhere. Just. . . there."

James nodded in agreement. "I feel the same way." He sighed. "Especially that whole study hall thing."

"I heard a lot of kids already dropped out." Carlos volunteered.

"See, the thing is," Logan looked around. "I know that we shouldn't give up so easily. But if we stopped then it would be one less thing to worry about." He gently rubbed his temples, trying to fight back a headache. "I feel weak for saying this but I just don't want to deal with that stress."

"Well then, you don't have to, Logan." Kendall said firmly. He was relieved that Logan was being honest about the whole school mess. "We'll just drop out and home school ourselves if you think we can."

Logan suddenly looked so relaxed that Kendall wished he had really known how much school had been stressing him out. He certainly didn't need it. "I know we can." He said, a hint of the old know-it-all confidence back in his voice.

"All right then." Kendall smiled and stood up. "Let's go talk to my mom then. And I'm sure Carlos and James have to clear it with their parents too." He pulled Carlos and James to their feet and then took Logan's lower arm to help him up.

The four boys left the bedroom to find Mrs. Knight seated at the counter, looking distracted. "Mom?" Kendall asked hesitantly. "We have something we want to ask you. Is everything okay?"

Mrs. Knight, in response, slid an official looking envelope across the counter to her son. "This came in the mail today." She practically whispered.

Kendall frowned and picked the envelope up, taking out a single sheet of paper. His green eyes scanned the text and grew wide when they began to make sense. "Oh." He said faintly. "That. . . I was wondering when this would happen."

"What is it?" Logan asked with dread in his voice. He was pretty sure that he knew what it was yet some part of him was desperate to cling to hope.

"The trial is a month from today." Kendall answered. He let the paper slide from between his fingers and they all watched as it floated slowly to the floor and came to rest at their feet.

A/N. I really cannot give them a break can I? Wow. Anyway, this is where the angst picks up all over again. Good times. Review?