Chapter 21:
Tangled Love Lives
After Dannyl and Tayend have consummated their new relationship in every single position they can think of…
Dannyl: I hate to be the one to say this, but maybe we should be leaving Armje.
Tayend: We've only been here a month! I'm sure the fangirls can think of something new for us to do…
Dannyl gets a mental call from Akkarin.
Dannyl: OH MY GOD IT'S AKKARIN HE'S GONNA KILL ME!
Tayend: *asks Dannyl to put the mental link on loudspeaker* Stop calling Dannyl, you pervert! He's mine now!
Akkarin: Mwahahahahaha
Sonea: *joins the link* Hello, Dannyl?
Dannyl: Oh hey Sonea! What's up?
Sonea: Well I've been ruthlessly bullied all year, held hostage by a man who likes teenagers in novice uniforms, and everyone makes fun of me because I'm a virgin. And speaking of what's up, I heard you lost your virginity! It's all over the Guild tabloids.
Dannyl: WHAT?!
Sonea: I'm also pretty sick of seeing Fanfiction. net being filled up with Armje fics. The only thing worse are those sick stories about me and Akkarin *shivers*
Tayend: Personally I'm rooting for you and Regin.
Dorrien: *joins the link* Hey! Nothing's ever gonna break me and Sonea up. Stop speculating!
Akkarin: Mwahahahahaha
Rothen: *also joins the link*
Dannyl: God this mental communication is like a chatroom today.
Rothen: Dannyl, what have I told you about that Tayend fellow?! Keep your hands off him and keep healing away your inappropriate urges like a normal magician!
Tayend: Aren't you the guy who overdoses on nemmin?
Rothen: … *leaves*
Sonea: I gotta go too, I'm devising a way to murder Regin and make it look like an accident.
Tayend: You know, bullying you relentlessly is just his way of showing affection.
Sonea: Nobody messes with the Slum Girl and gets away with it!
Tayend: Well, good luck losing your virginity!
Dorrien visits the Guild after being sacked as a Healer in his village, for smuggling in nemmin over the Sachakan border to fuel his father's addiction.
Dorrien: *seductive tone* Hello… Sonea. Do you know what'd look fantastic on you? ... ME.
Sonea: Seriously, you're using Tayend of Tremmelin's chat up lines to try and seduce me?!
Dorrien: Well, my own methods don't seem that effective, seeing as you haven't replied to any of my love letters!
Sonea: I was being held hostage by a Black Magician!
Dorrien: Our relationship won't work if it's full of lies.
Sonea: Maybe I don't want it to work!
Dorrien: You're gonna regret saying that after some old pervert knocks you up and then goes and dies leaving you to raise the kid as a single mother.
Sonea: … That's an unusually descriptive prediction.
Dorrien: I need to wipe out the competition, so that our future together will work. Why don't you challenge Regin to a formal duel in the Arena?
Sonea: Why don't you do it?!
Dorrien: Look Sonea, this is your chance to murder him and make it look accidental. Plus it will silence the Sonea/Regin shippers forever!
Sonea: Let's do this thing!
Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter! There's only one chapter left, so it won't be long until the craziness ends and you can all go back to reading sexy Waterfall/Armje fanfics without my parody characters judging you!
Thanks as always for all your kind support :D