Brave Man
A/ N Hi, so this chapter is another song fic, based on the song 'Brave Man' by Will Young. I hope you like it. Thanks to those who reviewed last chapter! And, it's been a year since I started writing these. Time has flown, hasn't it?
Charles is vaguely aware of voices shouting his name, but the pain in his legs is so strong he can't begin to focus on anything else. He cries out, and closes his eyes to stop the flashing bolts of pain which cause black spots to appear in his vision. He remains standing for as long as possible, but soon his legs give in and he crashes to the floor.
He senses a two pairs of hands sitting him up against a wall, his legs outstretched before him, and a pair of footsteps retreating, yelling that's he's missed a dose. Charles slaps his hands to his face, groaning. It hurts; he had forgotten how much it hurts.
See these scars of these years gone by?
Old scars, reopening with this new suicidal mission he's got himself into. Old wars restarted: his conflict with Erik, with Raven, his legs and his love for Lena.
Aches and pains each took it out there bursting out these pores.
He swears, and many memories just like this come back to him. Evenings spent drinking, with pent up frustration at his legs, and taking it out on anyway stupid enough to come near, who normally turned out to be Hank. However, he digs up other memories as well.
He sees Alex, Aiysha and Hank playing snap. Then all three of them teaching a set of young mutants their alphabet. Moira spilling coffee all over the carpet. Raven the night he met her. Erik raising a toast, and Lena sipping hot chocolate by the fire.
I met strangers to become my friends.
Those were good days, he thinks. He wishes Alex would come back; the mansion has seemed devoid of laughter since he left. He wishes Alex were back to tease Hank, and bake biscuits for Aiysha.
Aiysha.
Yet another thing to add to the mountainous pile weighing down on his conscience. But, he realises, he could still save her. All is not lost.
Draw up the horses, spears at the ready, I'm not afraid to fight the war.
He just has to take it one step at a time. He'll find Aiysha, apologise to Raven, punch Erik and then rebuild the school. Hank can teach, Alex will come back and maybe Charles will help him plan the wedding he heard Alex discussing with Hank.
Together we'll shine, on this battlefield.
He finds comfort in this new plan.
A hand grips his, and he realises he's forgotten someone.
What will he do in regards to Lena? His brain starts to overload again, but some small part manages to cling on to rational decision making, and tell the rest of him to calm down.
He knows he loves her, but is not so sure if those feelings are returned. He feels sick when he thinks of being without her again. Whether she loves you or not doesn't matter, his mind tells him, it matters if you take care of your daughter. Of course, Gaia. He must love and cherish Gaia.
He adds 'be a good dad' to his list of jobs. Right. He can do this.
Then, of course, as the serum's effects continue to dwindle, the voices return. Only three, but he screams in agony nonetheless.
He hears Logan wondering if he's made a difference at all. Of course you have, Charles wants to yell, you changed me.
Hanks feverish thoughts, panicking to see if Charles is alright. Charles almost smiles. What would he do without Hank?
He sees Hank hold out the syringe.
No. He hears the third voice think. Charles looks to his left, and his heart sinks. She looks disappointed.
I'm not afraid to fight the war.
Charles pushes away the syringe, and four pairs of eyes watch it crash to the floor in surprise. Charles looks at the hope in her eyes, then down at his burning legs.
See these scar, of these years gone by? They don't hurt me, just remind me I can cry.
He's cried, he's cried plenty, but now he has a chance to put all that behind him. Simple steps, that is all it will take.
I'm a brave man, running through the rain.
He winced as sweat pours down his face. She smiles softly.
I'm a brave man, not scared to feel the pain.
Charles finally manages to control his mind enough to send a single word to all three minds.
Wheelchair.
They all look at him in surprise.
Not afraid to tumble.
Not afraid to fall.