A/N: Oh my bloody hell, I'm so torn! I can't even begin to describe how I sit here, my fingers hovering over the keyboard, trying to choose between Galahad and Lancelot in the upcoming chapters! AHHHH! (You'll see what I mean pretty soon!) :pulls hair: God, this is totally making this writing process much slower than usual! (I guess this is what I get for including two awesome men in a story!) Maybe I can just make the Shinodians have this religion that allows for, say, four husbands? Bahaha, wouldn't that rock:breathes out: But yes, choosing between Lancey and Gal..ley? is just as hard for me as it is for Lourdes! haha But I know that I'll disappoint some readers, whoever I choose in the end. :frowns: But I still hope that you enjoy the story, though, because I sure as hell enjoy writing it:smiles:

Anyway, unfortunately, updates will be a little slower than my usual pace. Work is just getting pretty hectic, and my wrists actually hurt! (I do read and write for a living, meaning I spend the entire day on the computer!) haha My brain's pretty fried, too. But THANK YOU all for your great reviews and for your patience. :digihug: I honestly want to write every thought in my brain, but my fingers just can't type that fast! Grrr! But hey, I hope you'll be with me for the long run. There is SO MUCH MORE to this story left to write. I know it was a pretty slow beginning, but every story needs to get established first. Trust me, I've got pages and pages of notes and ideas! I'm estimating this to be nearly 150,000 - 200,000 words by the time I'm done. Yes, I'm writing an amature novel! But hell, if you guys can read that much, and enjoy doing it, then I'm bloody happy! Right now, I just feel as though my writing isn't up to par, and I need to take my time and perfect everything. I think it's better if I don't rush this story, because then it'll be a better story! hehe So bear with me! I'm pretty happy with the responses and hits that this story has been getting, especially since it's not TristanOC, so yeah, I'd just like to keep it that way:salutes: Love you all!

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makedamnsure: Yeah, as you'll see later on, I'm making the characters even more complex, trying not to pigeon-hold them, ya know? It just makes it harder for Lourdes to choose! muahaha I'm so evil...well, not really. But yeah, that Galahad. So good-looking, yet most of the time, I'm not sure where his brain is! He is so damn emo, it even makes me cringe! You probably wouldn't want to meet the guy that I'm sort of basing his character on, then! He'll just piss you off! haha

And you are a meanie, but I like you anyway! hahaha Isabella's cool...right:cough cough: And that Lord Theodore...I'm basing him on another chap I know. But he sort of speaks for many men out there, doesn't he? But yeah, Lancelot's getting pretty attractive now...you're getting swayed, but I have to be careful not to be, because then this story will be biased! lol All the Galahad fans will shake their fists at me, and shaking fists are scary. But thank you for reading and reviewing, you rock! If you have any ideas for the story, let me know!

Kates: Emo-Galahad and Casanova-Lancelot...PERFECT. That's exactly what I'm going for! haha The two ends of the guy spectrum, so to speak. You've got the sensitive type vs. the "hey I'm SO hot" type. But women can't lie...they're still attracted to BOTH! haha We'll see if Lourdes can take the stress or break from it. I'm having SO much fun screwing her life up, it's not even funny. Well, it makes for a good story, doesn't it! bahaha

Ugh, I so love Lancelot's character. So much fun to play with! And you never know...he and Lourdes just might have little munchkins of their own in the future:wink wink: But then again...not if Galahad has anything to do with it! haha Oh man, I'm enjoying this too much. But I do love the way both Lancelot and Lourdes change whenever they're around each other. It's such a cool relationship, and I can't wait to establish (or break? hahah) it even more! Hope you keep reading and reviewing:smiles: And any ideas that pop into your head about what you want to happen in the story, throw them my way!

magicalex-aurorhobbit.: Yeah, I totally held out on that kiss for the longest time, didn't I? haha I just want to see how much I can stretch the tension before the readers ask for it! hahaha But yes, you finally got a kiss. Is there more on the way? Hmm...you'll just have to read and find out! haha How evil of me, I'm sorry. But I know what you mean. I'm totally in celebrity love with Hugh Dancy. He's so great in all his movies! Totally following in the right "Colin Firth" footsteps! Anyway, I'm glad that you're such a big fan. I will always remember you because you were the first to ever review to this story! haha I'm working hard on the next chapters, but yeah, the updates will probably take a little more time now that I have officially fried my brain. But what else do you think should happen?

WitheredLover: Why thank you! Well...I mean, right now, I'm only updating with one chapter...but I honestly don't want to rush this story! I don't want to disappoint you guys with crappy plot lines and even crappier dialogue/descriptions! lol But I'm definitely going to keep up with the eastern influence. I'm really interested in showing not only personality clashes, but cultural clashes as well. And I will take your suggestions and incorporate them into the later chapters! Thank you for them, and if you have any other ideas, let me know!

anisharoxmistry: LOL I'll update as fast as my brain can think and my fingers I type, I swear to you!

RagingRaven:: haha Why thank you! Well...as of right now, two really want her (or do they:gasp:), one is just playing with her, and the other is just her best friend buddy-buddy type. But still. All those men? Yeah, she's pretty lucky! lol Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad to hear from you!

Props also go out to: cleopatra32003, LadyofTrebond, tvfanatic64, ZELINIA, FallenAshes, Gerdie, iheartcoffee, janell, mangoskin93 - Thanks for reading, you guys!

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CHAPTER 20

That night, only the crackling of the glowing fire made a sound as the grief-stricken travellers crowded around their only source of light. An aura of death and despair loomed amongst them, all wearing blank stares, expressions distant and cold. The talking, boisterous laughter and heartfelt singing was now only a distant memory, nowhere to be heard, only to be replaced by distressed sobs and agonizing wailings. As part of the aftermath of the incident, some still shook, never having experienced such a life-threatening situation in all their years. Death had taunted them, threatening to cut the strings of their lives; and because of this, they will always be scarred. Those from Arthur's realm had always lived such a peaceful life, never having to fear for their safety, rarely facing any form of threat or impending danger. For so long, Sarmatia had always been free from invasion; but, for the past few months, news of incursions by various indigenous tribes had reached their ears, beginning on the northeastern and northwestern border and trickling further and further south. Though those who had attacked them earlier were not Saxons, but Sarmatians themselves, this event served to remind the Sarmatians of what they may be facing, what the future may hold for all of them. The danger was finally so lucid, so real.

The group had spent the previous couple of hours treating the wounded, gathering what was left of their belongings and burying the dead. They paid their respects to their fallen comrades, honouring them with a proper Sarmatian burial, before painfully moving on, travelling until nightfall. Upon Arthur's orders, they had made camp, and with heavy hearts, counted their losses. Fifteen men, women and children were injured, along with ten village men killed. The knights suffered from bumps, cuts, scrapes and bruises, but none complained, helping the others cope with their injuries and loss. Dagonet had lent his expertise to all, supervising the group's gradual convalescence. Vanora and her children were all unharmed, though, incredibly shaken up by the experience. Bors tried his best to comfort them in any way that he could, angry at the fact that they had to be exposed to the life that he lived, that they saw him take life. The family huddled closely together, seeking comfort in each other, as they stared blankly into the fire. Galahad delicately tended to the minor cuts that Isabella received, hushing her gently as she continued to cry, tormented at the fact that she had to experience another threat to her life.

Lourdes' entire body ached, her spine taking most of the damage from being roughly ejected from her mare. She had twisted her left wrist during the fall, the swelling immediately beginning as the fight concluded. The pain that she had felt was immeasurable, quite unlike anything she had ever suffered from in her entire life. Her only grace was that, after a few hours, the numbing sensation had all but taken over her, and she felt nothing. Her arms, legs and face were bruised and scraped, all mixed with the dirt, dry sweat and blood. At her horrid appearance, though, she didn't care. During the entire ride, she sat upon her mare, head bowed, eyes downcast and empty. She paid no attention to any sound around her, barely even hearing the soft words of the nearby knights, nor the trotting of the horses and the squeaking of the wagons.

These men are not bandits. They were sent to kill you.

She felt so lethargic that Arthur's words, which replayed continuously in her mind, barely affected her. The guilt caused by the fallen villagers and the man's manifested grief tore at her being, making her even more numb. If the man's words were true, then she knew what they also pointed guilty towards: Shinodians did kill Galahad's family and destroyed his village. The thought made her heart constrict even more as she shut her eyes, silent tears cascading freely down her face.

At the encampment, she sat a few metres away from the group, feeling so much shame, guilt, anger and helplessness. She felt so alone, so hated as she sought solace in her blanket, wrapping it closer to her. Even though she also placed the hood of her cloak upon her head, it did not stop the cold that she felt, nor the shaking of her body. Her conscience could not be silenced.

This all happened because of her.

It was then that she heard the soft sound of sobbing behind her. She glanced over to see the man whom she had fought with and spoken to, his upper torso tied to a nearby tree as he rested on the ground. He was the only one in his party left alive, spared only by Lourdes' sword. She had pleaded for them to let him go. Though, so many questions surrounding this attack plagued their minds that Arthur and the knights decided to hold him as their captive, interrogation their main concern.

The man was dirty, bloody and a complete and utter mess. Seeing his sorry state, Lourdes felt so much pity and sympathy for him that she eventually stood and cautiously made her way to his side. The man did not look up at her presence, ignoring her, and continued to be lost in his grief. Bravely, she touched his shoulder with a firm grip, trying to catch his distant gaze.

"I am sorry for your loss. I truly am." she said softly in condolence, pain and sorrow lining her voice. "If I could bring those who did this to justice, I would."

Sniffling, the man looked up at her with bloodshot eyes, his face showing a mixture of emotions. He took a moment to examine her, hearing the sincerity in her voice and seeing the sadness in her expression. He kept silent, gaining his composure, and inhaled deeply before speaking. "We are caught in a war that we are powerless to stop." he began cryptically, his dark eyes never leaving hers. "'Twas wrong of me to participate in this attack, milady. But I was so hurt, so angry, that I needed someone to blame."

He spoke with such politeness and sincerity that she would not even believe that he was even capable of thinking of what he did, let alone carry it out. Lourdes swallowed at his words, trying desperately to control her tears and anger. "Murdering someone that did not commit the crime will not help ease your pain." she stated firmly, her eyes cold. "It will only increase it."

"I know!" The man suddenly cried in anguish, startling her. He shook his head profusely, more tears falling from his dirtied face. "...But he just convinced all of us that all Shinodians were..."

"Who!" Lourdes asked attentively, placing her hands on the sides of his arms as she slightly shook him. "Who convinced you!"

"Lord Theodore." he breathed out in response as Lourdes' eyes grew wide in bewilderment. "He owned my village, you see. And when he heard news that the Shinodians destroyed everything that he had invested in, he became enraged, vowing to take revenge upon Shino's peoples...all of them."

"He is a madman." she spat through gritted teeth, her emotions quickly rising. "Why place the blame on my entire people? Why spill more blood?" she clenched her fists, an uncontrollable anger flashing in her eyes. "This is why wars never end, why thousands of people lose their lives and livelihood. As long as men lust for power and seek revenge, the cycle will never be broken."

There was a moment of silence between the two as they both became lost in their thoughts. The man kept his eyes on Lourdes, examining her strong countenance. She spoke with such compassion and conviction. Surely, she had goodness in her heart! How foolish he was to participate in this attack! And what made him even indebted to her was that she had spared his life. Now, it was his turn to feel guilt, realizing that he had tried to murder a good, innocent woman. What, then, made him different from those that killed his family?

Lourdes felt his eyes on her, but did not say anything in response. She wanted so badly to do something, to help ease his pain and release him from the confines of his suffering. Yet, she could not doubt the vengeful feeling that stirred in her heart for those responsible - for Lord Theodore! What had she done to deserve any of this? Was it not her that was forced to leave her home, which was now in ashes and smoke thanks to the Saxons? Fate had thrust her into a life that she never thought she would live, one that is quickly taking its toll on her mind, body and heart. She did not know how much more she could bear before she fell apart.

"Lourdes."

She felt a light touch on her arm, bringing her back to the present with a slight jolt. She instantly stood up and swirled around, seeing Lancelot's sympathetic expression. The knight swallowed and pursed his lips, only glancing at the man for a second, before resting his eyes on her once more. "Come. You must rest."

Lourdes did not protest to this suggestion. At that moment, she wanted to run away, to hide from condescending and angry eyes. She could not even care if she were shut in a cold, dark room on her own; for in that situation, all she would need fear is her own mind, her own conscience. She wished to sleep and wake to find that this was all just a bad dream.

As Lourdes nodded in response and began to walk away with the knight, she heard the man call distantly out to her:

"I am sorry, dear child. I am sorry."

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"Knights."

The knights turned attentively to Arthur's call, instantly recognizing the strong expression on his countenance. They immediately halted what they were doing and stood, silently following their commander to the outskirts of the encampment, where it would give them an opportunity to meet in privacy. The soft voices of the villagers and the burning fire faded into the background, the faint rustling of tress and chirping of crickets surrounding them. Automatically, they formed a circle, all eyeing one another quietly, before turning their undivided attention to Arthur.

Instantly, Arthur furrowed his brows, scanning the area. "Where is Lancelot?"

Simultaneously, the knights surveyed each other, then after a few moments, shrugged. Every knight had missed Lancelot's sudden departure, all shaking their heads and shrugging their shoulders at Arthur's inquiry. Galahad's eyes had unconsciously searched for Lourdes as well, but also found her nowhere in sight. A flash of worry passed over him, but his attention was then drawn to Arthur's voice.

"I shall speak with him later, then." Running his fingers through his hair, Arthur let out a sigh, his instinct telling him that there was no need to worry about Lancelot's whereabouts. "As you know, the man that we have taken captive is the only attacker that survived."

"...Or was left alive." interjected Tristan, clearing his throat. This earned a small smirk from some of the men.

Arthur nodded, realizing his statement to be true, and continued. "I made him talk. And knights, I think that what he has informed me of will shock you as much as it did me."

"How do you that he can be trusted?" questioned Dagonet instinctively, crossing his muscular arms, his face firm. "He may be telling lies in order to stay alive."

"Believe me, Dag," Arthur shook his head, a convinced look appearing on his face, "spend some time with the man, and you shall also see that he has nothing to live for."

"That, and the fact that I told 'im that I'd kill 'im if he didn't co-operate." scoffed Bors, his eyes still glinting with anger.

At that moment, Galahad stepped forward, uncrossing his arms. "He...claims...that Shinodians destroyed his village," he almost choked upon his last words, "and murdered his family."

His fellow knights gazed at him with both incredulity and sympathy, knowing the heavy heart that their comrade bore. Gawain placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he glanced at Arthur.

"Arthur, do you really believe that the Shinodians are to blame?" Gawain shook his head in astoundment, motioning his arms. "What if the Saxons are really the ones committing these heinous acts?"

"At this moment, we cannot know for sure." he replied, briefly thinking, "But the people that he had described did not resemble Saxons, but resembled..."

"Lourdes." Galahad finished, yet hoping with all his heart that he was wrong. When he was answered by a curt nod from Arthur, his countenance abruptly changed to one of disappointment and contempt. Now, it is almost certain that the Roman soldiers did see Shinodians fleeing the scene of his pillaged village. He was almost convinced that Shinodians were to blame for all of these atrocities against the Sarmatians. Yet, a part of him still refused to believe it, still disillusioned by the fact that someone as kind and compassionate as Lourdes could be a descendant of such a heartless, murderous people. With all his being, he knew that he could not truly hate her. He simply couldn't! But now, he could not deny that he felt utter rage and pure contempt for her people and what they had done, and what they continue to do.

"Lord Theodore had sent these men to kill her."

At Arthur's new revelation, the knights burst into incredulous murmurs, expressing their frustration and confusion, but also trying to make sense of the entire situation. Needless to say, this was quite unexpected, especially since Lord Theodore, after all these years, apparently had never been known to be deemed capable of such acts. Waiting for his knights to quiet down at the revelation, Arthur continued.

"Apparently, Lord Theodore caught news of Shinodians attacking villages that he owned. A messenger had arrived just a couple of hours after we had left the tournament grounds, reporting all the damage that had been done. An hour after the messenger had arrived, survivors from the attacks fled to his castle for safety. Instead of the safety that they sought, Theodore sent them out to follow us, realizing that Lourdes was indeed Shinodian. He had convinced them to avenge their families' deaths and the loss of their belongings, to show Lourdes no mercy, just as the Shinodians had done."

"That bastard!" Hitting his fist on a tree trunk upon his outcry, Galahad's eyes burned, his chest rising and falling in utter rage. "I will pay him a little visit and show him the limits of my mercy!"

"No, Galahad, you must not." Arthur said quickly, accurately predicting the knight's reaction. He shook his head. "Lord Theodore is not the real enemy."

"He is now!" With a low growl, Galahad swiftly turned, leaving his fellow knights unnerved and deep in thought.

Arthur sighed, shaking his head once. "Bors, keep an eye on him," he lightly commanded the older man, "and make sure he does not do anything foolish."

"This boy can spark more trouble than any of my bastards." Bors shrugged, then tilted his head in silent acquiesce. "He'll be in good hands."

As Bors made his exit, Arthur placed his attention on the remaining knights. "The sooner we return to my castle, the better. We will discuss our further course of action then." The others nodded in agreement, content with their consensus. "But in the mean time, let us hope that no more men come after us on the way home, for I no longer wish to take away innocent lives."

"I say, if they attack me, I have the bloody right to attack them." Tristan commented gruffly, resting his hand on the hilt of his sword.

"Arthur, they have made this battle personal." contributed Gawain, unsettled by the experience of seeing their families, friends and fellow villagers in such danger and witnessing so many men lose their lives. "Sarmatian or not, these men have to suffer the consequences of their actions."

Dagonet could not help but agree, though added, "And Shinodian or not," he surveyed his fellow knights, then said with strong conviction, "we must protect the girl."

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Hand in hand, Lancelot led Lourdes to her tent, just a few yards from the central firepit. They did not speak as they walked, feeling the same heavy emotion in their hearts. Lancelot could feel the coldness in Lourdes' grip, the slight, unconscious and uncontrollable shaking of her body. This made him worry over her current state even more, fearing that she was taking this more harshly that she dared to show.

Suddenly, Lourdes tightened her grip on Lancelot's hand, making him stop abruptly.

"Lancelot, they tried to kill me." she breathed out, the shock slowly dissipating and the severity of the situation finally hitting her with full force. "All those men are dead because of me."

Instinctively, the knight wrapped his arms around her in comfort and support, hushing her gently. "Tis not your fault. None of this is your fault."

Lourdes gripped the front of his tunic, resting her head on his chest as she closed her eyes. She finally began to bawl, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she shook uncontrollably. Wincing, Lancelot placed his chin on her head, holding her closer. Lourdes then stiffened at his touch, and that was when Lancelot noticed the bruises on her body and felt the bumps on her back. He immediately loosened his grip on her, but continued to hold her, rocking her from side to side.

"When those villagers look at me, they will see a murderous race." she sobbed erratically, voice unsteady, her face still buried in Lancelot's tunic. "They will blame me for what few have done, for the machinations of others! Point their fingers at me and condemn me to be killed!"

"No!" cried Lancelot, forcing her to look up to him with a hand on her chin. "No, they will not do that! They will not!"

"I want this all to end!" she wailed, again burying her face in his chest, shaking her head. She breathed heavily, trying to control her emotions. "I want all this pain to go away. I want to wash my hands clean of all that I have done!"

The anguish in her voice tore Lancelot apart inside, making his own eyes mist with tears. Ever since he had met her, she was faced with danger, war and pain. He wanted so badly for her to return to her peaceful days, to erase everything that has happened to bring her to such a state. He knew what it felt like to have the innocence torn away from you, to have your entire life taken from you. He would never wish his own circumstances upon others, especially not Lourdes herself. And yet, it grieved him to realize that this was now her life, that she was a marked woman, being hunted down by both Saxons and Sarmatians.

But he knew that even if it killed him, he would protect her.

He could not form any words, for he was not used to comforting women - or anyone, for that matter - in such a state. He had barely comforted himself in his times of distress, for his solution was always to become lost in the sensations that women gave him to free his mind from torment. Though, for Lourdes, he knew one way to ease her pain.

"Sleep." he finally said, using his right hand to lift the flapping entrance of her tent.

Lourdes stopped her sobbing, thinking over his suggestion. After a few moments, she nodded in acquiesce, pulling away from his grasp. With a short sigh, Lancelot turned, about to walk back to the main encampment. It was then that Lourdes clutched his hand, pulling him back to her.

"Stay with me." she whispered, gazing at him with blurry eyes. She cupped his face in her hands when he did not instantly respond. "Please?"

Lancelot placed his hands on hers, entwining her fingers with his. He hesitated for a moment, but then discerned that he did not want to leave her alone. No, he could not. Not now.

As Lancelot nodded in agreement, Lourdes led him inside the enclosed space. He followed her, eyeing her briefly as she took her cloak off, revealing only a thin dress that covered her. It took most of his willpower to pry his eyes away from her as she laid down underneath the blankets. She looked up at him expectantly, her eyes silently telling him to follow suit. With a deep breath, he did, at first kneeling down beside her, then finally, joining her underneath the covers.

It was probably the first time that Lancelot was nervous lying with a woman.

Lourdes turned on her side to face him, her eyes tracing the curves of his face, memorizing his every feature. He returned the gesture, his gaze focusing on her supple lips, then her dark eyes. She twirled his hair in her fingers, then felt the side of his face with the back of her hand. His beard tickled her, and she gave him a small smile, making Lancelot smirk. She inhaled deeply as she felt his hand wrapping around the small of her back. They moved closer to one another, reveling in the warmth of each other's bodies, swimming in the sensation of each other's touch. Lourdes breathed out as she rested her head on his chest, his right arm protectively around her head. They laid there in silence, only listening to each other breathe. Lancelot mindlessly trailed his fingers up and down the length of Lourdes' arm. She pressed the length of her body closer to his. Entwining her legs with his, she let her fingers tenderly trace his jaw, then neck.

Lancelot's lips were only centimetres away from Lourdes' forehead as she slightly turned her head to face him. "Do you think Lord Theodore will send more of them after me?"

Instantly, Lancelot snapped his head up in anger. "Lord Theodore!" he simply boomed, eyes burning.

"Yes." Lourdes nodded as she snuggled closer to him. "He sent those men today."

Lancelot did not take the news lightly, not one bit. The passion in his eyes was almost completely erased, his temper flaring. "I will ride back right now and kill him myself!" he cried in rage, pulling Lourdes' face closer to his. "I promise you, Lourdes, I will not let him get away with this."

"No!" she shook her head in protest, hand on his cheek. "No more blood shall be spilt because of me." she continually brushed his face with the palm of her hand, burying her face on the crook of his neck. "It would kill me if something happened to you. It would kill me."

"Lourdes, we have to..."

"No." she said firmly, finally resting her head on the ground as she closed her eyes. "No more blood."

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A/N: What are your thoughts and feelings, my lovely readers? This actually took an entire day to write. Yes, I'm slow, haha. But yeah. I highly encourage each and everyone of you to discuss this story on the 'reviews' section. Not only would I love your feedback on it, but I would love to hear your feedback on what OTHERS have said as well. As you'll see later on, I've taken many of your suggestions and ideas, weaving them into the story as I go. So yeah, you guys are a great help, and your responses really do keep me inspired and writing! I'm not gonna lie...I love hearing from you all! So...keep 'em coming:smiles: Thanks again, and for sure, I'm working my butt off on the story as you read this!