A/N - This one is all Emily POV. I started alternating and it got messy. So then I went back and re-did it and I'm much happier with the results. Because as much as this story involved Derek and even JJ, it was really Emily's journey. And, no, it's not over yet! :)

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Emily startled awake again on Christmas Eve morning, but this time it wasn't from Devon screaming with a nightmare - it was the sound of his giggling that woke her up, and the sound of what sounded like Maddie shushing him.

Derek's chest was comforting and solid against her back, his hand under her pajama shirt and laying flat against her stomach. When she tried to move, he gripped her tighter and she smiled. "I should check on them."

"I think they're playing in Maddie's room. Just stay a second," Derek mumbled against the skin on the back of her neck. "Just listen."

Emily settled her head back on the pillow and listened to the muffled sounds coming from down the hall. And then she heard it, though she couldn't quite hear all the words. Devon was talking to Maddie without a single stutter.

She turned in Derek's arms to face him, her eyes wide. "It must only be bad when he's nervous, and he's not nervous around her. Rose never mentioned that, though. Maybe she and Mrs. Murphy didn't know."

Derek smiled at her and nodded. "We'll know more when we get their records next week. I just was enjoying laying here listening to them. They adore each other."

Emily returned his smile and whispered, "And I adore you."

She realized she'd never said that word before out loud to anyone, but it was the truth. He'd been so warm and wonderful this week and at some point a few days back she'd realized that this wasn't only about everything that was going on; it was just Derek Morgan. Loving him was easy; the shocking part was how easy it was for her to let him love her. Adoration seemed an appropriate descriptor.

She shifted her body lower on the bed so she could rest her cheek against his chest and sank into his embrace, sighing when his hand moved to her back and started rubbing gently against her skin. "We don't have to be at Rossi's until five o'clock. What do you want to do all day?" she asked.

"Already planned," he said. She could hear the mirth and excitement in his voice.

"Well, are you going to tell me the plan?" she asked.

"I think it's time that you, Emily Prentiss, finally tried sledding."

Emily smiled against his chest. "I'm going to be happy when it's spring and summer, when your idea of 'living' doesn't involve me freezing my ass off."

Derek laughed and hugged her tighter. They stayed like that, listening to the happy sounds of Maddie and Devon from down the hall. After several minutes they got up to check on them. Emily knocked on Maddie's door.

Maddie opened it a crack, enough so just her face was showing. "Good morning," she said.

"Good morning to you. Is everything okay?"

"We're fine. We just need a few more minutes," the little girl said with her small grin.

Devon's face appeared down by Maddie's knees where he could find a space to squeeze through the small opening in the door. "It's a s...s...surprise!" he exclaimed with twinkling eyes.

Emily grinned at the obvious joy on his face. "Okay. Derek and I will go downstairs and start breakfast. Just come on down when you're ready."

Emily followed Derek down the stairs and they headed to the kitchen. He started coffee while she pulled out eggs. She was going to have to do something about this cooking thing. She knew how to make enough to keep herself alive between orders of take-out, but not enough to cook for a family with any sort of variety. To be fair, she'd never had time to really experiment or try before; she had ample time now.

"What are you thinking about, Em?" Derek asked.

Emily looked at him and realized she'd been standing there holding a carton of eggs and staring off into space. She grinned. "I'm thinking about doing the previously unthinkable and taking a cooking class, and feeling oddly domestic at the thought."

"You do domesticity well."

"At least for the past twenty hours or so," she responded with a laugh.

They both looked up when they heard footsteps on the stairs, but the kids didn't appear in the kitchen at first. When they walked in a few seconds later, Devon was fairly bursting with excitement.

"C...c...come l..l..look," he said and grabbed Emily's hand.

He guided her to the Christmas tree in the living room and tugged on her until she knelt down by the tree next to him. He pointed out one of two rolled up pieces of paper. "E...Emily," he whispered.

Emily smiled. "Is that for me?"

Devon nodded at her and grinned.

"I can't wait to open it, Devon!"

The little boy stood and put his arms around Emily's neck, resting his head on her shoulder. "T...tomorrow?" he whispered.

Emily squeezed him gently, "Tomorrow, Devon. We'll open presents tomorrow morning. Should we go get some breakfast?"

He nodded against her shoulder but made no move to let her go. Emily stood and took him with her, carrying his little pajama-clad body and again being slammed with that surreal desire of longing to be a mother. Her eyes landed on Maddie, who was smiling. Emily reached out placed a hand on her head, and Maddie surprised her by leaning in and giving her a quick hug.

Emily's eyes were watery when they found Derek's. So were his.

It took forever in the shower for her to warm up after Derek's sledding adventure, but she couldn't deny that several hours outside with him and the kids, whipping down hillsides on sleds, hadn't been exhilarating. They'd all had fun and laughed a lot.

She was standing at the mirror in the master bathroom, finishing with her make up, when there was a soft knock on the partially opened door.

Emily turned and found Maddie standing there in her Christmas outfit. She looked precious.

"Can you help me?" she asked shyly.

Emily smiled warmly. "Of course, Maddie. What do you need?"

Maddie held out one hand, which contained a handful of small hair clips. In the other hand was a picture torn out of a magazine. "I like this hair, but I can't get it right."

Emily glanced at the picture. For some reason her heart was beating wildly again. It felt like every moment she had to bond with Maddie was a test, and she was afraid of failing. She breathed and took the clips from Maddie's hand. "I think I can manage that. Do you want the back wavy like it is in the picture?"

Maddie glanced at the picture and then at Emily before nodding slowly. Emily turned to plug in her curling iron. She moved Maddie so she was facing the mirror and then stood behind her, picking up her brush and running it through the girl's silky black hair.

She glanced at Maddie's reflection in the mirror and was surprised to find the girl's eyes welling with tears. Maddie raised her fingers to her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to stop the flow of tears that seemed uncontrollable, leaking around her fingers and running down her face.

Emily stopped brushing and bent to kiss the top of Maddie's head. "What is it?"

Maddie shook her head and tried to control herself. Emily waited patiently. Eventually she picked up the brush again and started working, letting Maddie just be quiet.

"I like you," Maddie finally whispered.

Emily's heart felt like it was melting and her knees felt weak, but her mind fought hard to focus. She looked at Maddie like she would anyone she was trying to profile and went with her instincts. "It's scary to trust people again after spending so long not trusting anyone."

Maddie's eyes opened wide and she stared at Emily's reflection in the mirror. She slowly nodded.

"It's not the same circumstance at all, Maddie, but I do understand how you're feeling." Emily paused and chose her words carefully. She needed to leave Doyle and her pregnancy out of this one. She pulled a section of Maddie's hair back and clipped it. "I've always had a hard time trusting people. I had some things happen to me when I was younger and it made me very scared to open up to people. Not trusting people kind of became part of who I was. And then I started working with this group of people who were able to crack through a lot of that distrust, and it was scary. Very scary. Even though I didn't let them see it. I would go home at night a lot of the time and be afraid, though."

"The FBI?" asked Maddie.

Emily smiled and clipped another section of Maddie's hair. "Yep. All the people you met there and who you'll see tonight. But mostly Derek. I knew he loved me and I could trust him the most, and that's what scared me the most."

"What did you do?" asked Maddie.

Emily clipped the last section of Maddie's hair and turned to pick up the curling iron. She sighed, "Eventually, I ran away to London so I didn't have to face it. I've regretted it more times than I can count. But then I came back, and now I'm here with Derek and you and Devon and it's still scary, but also happy. I'm happier than I've ever been."

Maddie was quiet. Her eyes in the mirror watched the curling iron instead of Emily's face for awhile. "The last time someone did my hair was two Christmases ago. My mom did my hair. Last Christmas I was in a temporary placement. I wore sweats and we had fast food for dinner."

Emily picked up another section of Maddie's hair and curled it around the hot iron. "Hmmm...last Christmas I worked until around ten o'clock on Christmas Eve. And then I came home, changed into sweats, ate leftover take out food and watched anything but Christmas movies on TV."

She put the curling iron down on the counter and felt Maddie's eyes on hers. She ran her fingers through the curls in Maddie's hair and let them fall into waves down her back. Emily finally met Maddie's eyes in the mirror. "What do you think?"

Maddie glanced at her own reflection for a second and clearly knew Emily was talking about her hair. But the little girl turned and put her arms around Emily's waist. She rested her head against Emily and squeezed tight. "I think I'm scared and happy, too."

Several times with Derek and with Maddie the past week, and with Devon the past day, Emily was overcome with raw emotion, where she felt herself fighting between trembling and going numb. It was nothing compared to this moment, though. It was perhaps foolish. It was maybe too fast. But it felt right in the moment. Emily squeezed Maddie and whispered, "I love you. I always have, even when I couldn't take care of you."

Maddie didn't say anything back, and Emily didn't expect her to. But the little girl did squeeze her slightly tighter instead of pulling away. They stayed like that, clinging to each other, for several rapid heartbeats. And then Emily felt Maddie laugh quietly.

"What?" asked Emily.

Maddie turned her head so she was looking up at Emily's face. "I'm just remembering how your face looked the first time you went down the hill on your sled."

Emily smiled and then touched Maddie's face. Though Maddie, with her outfit and her hair, looked lovely, Emily never wanted the little girl to judge herself on her looks. "When I watch you with Devon, or watch what a good sport you are on the basketball court, or listen to you when you're being your real self, I think you're one of the best people I've ever known, Maddie. You let the real you shine, and soon it won't be scary anymore, only happy, I promise."

Maddie stared at her and nodded. The bathroom door opened slightly with a light knock. Derek stepped in and grinned. Emily wasn't certain how much of the conversation he'd listened to, but if his eyes were any indication, he'd been outside the door for most of it.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's almost time to leave and I still need to get ready. Maddie The Magnificent, Devon is downstairs watching a Christmas cartoon. Can you keep him company?"

Maddie grinned and nodded, heading out of the bathroom and their bedroom. Derek kicked the bathroom door closed and grabbed Emily by the waist pushing her against the wall and looking her in the eye. "I've always thought you were one of the best people I've ever known, Em. But when I watch you with them, when I feel your arms around me, when you tell me you love me or smile when I tell you you're beautiful, when you trust me and you're open, I think you're breathtaking. Soon it won't be scary anymore, only happy, I promise."

The atmosphere at Rossi's was pure joy and wonder. It was the first time the team had spent any real time with Rossi's daughter and grandchild. It was the first time any of them had spent any significant time with Maddie, and the first time anyone but JJ had seen Devon. It was the first time any of them had seen Emily and Derek there together, as a couple, with Derek's hand resting comfortably on her back or hip.

It was the first time Emily had spent any truly carefree time with the group of them since the fall of 2010, over five years before, before she knew Doyle had escaped.

There was a lot of conversation and laughter; a blur of it mixed with pinpoints of clarity.

Maddie hit it off with Jack right away. The two of them spent a long time playing Foosball in Rossi's basement. Maddie also spent a lot of her time talking with Penelope.

There was Will, who saw Emily and hugged her and welcomed her home, like there was nothing awkward at all in their shared pasts. The look in his eyes when he released her from the hug said it all. I've let it go. Let's move on.

Devon was clingy, shy and almost mute at first, but then Henry arrived and he warmed up. Having Henry over to play the day before had been the right call. Devon also seemed fascinated with JJ's stomach, knowing that there was a baby in there and asking stuttered, excited questions about when the baby would come and if it would be a boy or girl.

What Emily noticed aside from Maddie and Devon was Penelope, who was over-excited, even for her. And Rossi, who seemed to know what Penelope was up to. And Derek, who Emily caught spending one conspiratory moment in the hallway with Pen, both of them smiling.

When they'd all gorged themselves on a crazy amount of delicious food and everyone was lounging lazily in the living room, Rossi appeared in the doorway with a massive red sack slung over one shoulder and started handing out gifts. Derek and Emily glanced at each other with worried looks. They hadn't thought about this: Rossi was frugal with his money three hundred sixty-four days out of the year, but then Christmas rolled around and he tended to overdo it. Which was generous, but neither of them had thought to prepare Maddie and Devon for that.

When Rossi reached in his bag and took out a present, looked at the tag and handed it to Maddie, Maddie wasn't sure what to think. "But you hardly even know me," she said softly.

Rossi bent his head down so it was inches away from Maddie's forehead. "If you're with Emily and Derek, you're family. That's all there is to know. Besides, I have it on good authority that you need one of these of your own."

Maddie gave him a small, closed-lipped smile and carefully started removing the wrapping paper. Inside was what Emily guessed it would be; an iPad. Maddie's eyes were wide and she turned to look at Emily, gently pushing the box towards her, blinking back tears. "It's too much," she whispered.

Emily smiled and pushed the box back towards Maddie. "Not for Rossi. It's just how he is at Christmas. Look, Maddie."

Maddie glanced around the room and saw Jack and Henry opening equally as expensive gifts. Then she glanced at Devon who was sitting on the floor with a large box by his feet, seeming unable to move and open it.

"It's o...o...o...kay?" Emily heard him ask Derek.

"Of course, buddy. Go ahead and open it," said Derek with a smile.

"I...it's m...m...mine?" he asked with teary eyes.

Maddie who was taking all of this in, squeezed Emily's hand and moved away from her, kneeling on the floor next to Devon. "It's okay and it's yours, Devon. Some people are just super generous, and Dave is one of those people. Do you want help opening it?"

Devon looked at her and nodded, but still didn't move. Maddie started carefully removing the wrapping paper and Emily glanced up to see all eyes in the room focused on the display, everyone emotional. She should have thought about this. She should have talked to Rossi about this. With so much going on, it hadn't crossed her radar.

When the silence in the room registered with Maddie, Maddie glanced back and then looked at Derek, rolling her eyes. "Nothing like being the center of attention."

The group laughed, and Jack Hotchner, truly his father's son, stepped forward, his own gift forgotten. He knelt down next to Maddie and helped her rip open the box, which contained more super hero action figures than Emily could count at first glance.

"Whoa!" said Jack. "Batman! And Spiderman! Thor!"

A slow smile spread across Devon's face. He knelt up to look in the box.

"Can we take them out of the packages and play with them together, Devon?" Jack asked.

Devon looked at Jack with huge eyes and nodded. Henry jumped up to get in on the game. While the kids were happily occupied, Emily cleared her throat and stood quietly, hoping to escape to the bathroom for a few seconds and compose herself before she totally lost it. Derek caught her eye, but it was JJ who reached her first.

"You have a family, Em. It's Derek and Maddie and Devon and all of us. You deserve this," she said quietly.

Emily patted JJ's hand and kept walking to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Family. It was a word that held mixed emotions for her. The family in which she grew up was everything she ever wanted to escape from, making monumentally poor choices along the way; the family a few yards away from her outside the bathroom door was everything she ever wanted and never thought she'd have.

She looked at herself in the mirror and took in a few deep breaths before opening the door. Rossi was leaning against the wall in the hallway. "I didn't think about the gifts," he said softly.

Emily opened her mouth to say it was okay when Jack, Devon, Maddie and Henry zoomed by with action figures in their hands. "There doesn't seem to be any lifelong psychological trauma," she said with a smile.

Rossi stepped forward and put his hands on her cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "You're home, Emily, where you belong, and your children are beautiful and wonderful. It's a better gift than any amount of money could buy."

She was hot. That was the first thought that registered with her as she made the slow journey from sleep to alertness. She was in flannel Christmas pajamas and she was hot because Derek, also in flannel that almost exactly matched hers, was pressed up against her side with an arm flung over her.

Emily became more alert and realized it was morning. The night before both Maddie and Devon had sleepily opened their pajamas, thanked them both, changed, and fell into an exhausted sleep in their beds only minutes later. It was morning, and Devon hadn't had a nightmare that woke them.

She didn't want to disturb Derek's slumber, but she felt like she was suffocating. She carefully moved her legs and kicked the covers off the lower half of her body, sighing when the cool air hit her feet.

"Flannel is great unless you're sleeping next to someone who is also wearing flannel," mumbled Derek.

Emily laughed. She hadn't known he was awake. "You could move," she said lightly.

"Not a chance. It's Christmas and we're in matching flannel pajamas."

Emily laughed again and moved more covers off her body before placing her hand on Derek's arm. She was almost falling back into a light sleep when she heard footsteps in the hallway, and then those footsteps slowly made their way downstairs.

A second later, and those same feet were pounding quickly up the stairs and Devon appeared in their doorway. "S...s...santa!" he exclaimed.

Derek immediately moved to a sitting position. "No way! Santa came?"

Devon smiled and nodded.

"Go tell Maddie and then we can go downstairs and see!" Derek said excitedly.

He moved to get out of bed and Emily grabbed the collar of his pajamas, pulling him back towards her. "I'm not the greatest with words, but I just want you to know," she whispered, "that sometime before the next Christmas, when the kids are settled, we are going to go someplace together. There will be no pajamas at all. We won't even pack them. And then I'm going to show you exactly how I've felt about you the past couple of days."

His lips touched her forehead first, before gracing each cheek and finally landing on her lips. "I'll look forward to that and hold you to it. But just so you know, no words are necessary. Now come on. Santa came!"

Emily laughed and got out of bed.

They wore their Santa hats and there was no rush. They passed out gifts one at a time, and everyone watched to see what the other was opening. Devon was free with his emotions, but she and Derek, and even Maddie, tried to keep it together.

Maddie was fine when she opened her new red jacket. She stumbled emotionally a bit when she got basketball shoes, too.

Maddie and Devon had made them both pictures for Christmas. Happy pictures with all four of them standing by a tree.

They made their way through small gifts of slippers and notebooks and pens and books. And then the kicker, or what they thought as the kicker, happened when the last gift remained under the tree, obviously wrapped by a child.

"I think there's one more for you, Devon," whispered Maddie.

Devon crawled his way toward the package and carefully removed the wrapping paper. When he saw the doll, his eyebrows raised and he grinned. "S...santa kn..n...new," he whispered in awe.

Emily felt like she was going to choke before she got past the lump in her throat and she could see Derek wasn't far behind her. Maddie helped Devon get the doll out of the box and then placed it in his arms. Devon glanced at Derek, like he was embarrassed.

And Derek - wonderful, amazing, Derek Morgan - moved off the couch and got on his knees next to Devon and whispered, "Buddy, I think you forgot the baby's booties." Then he reached in the box and put the booties on the doll's feet, and Devon grinned wider than Emily had seen before.

Devon cradled that baby doll, and Maddie stood up and put her arms around Derek's neck from behind. "Definitely not anywhere near my creep-o-meter," Maddie whispered.

Emily started to wonder when she might next go twenty-four hours without having to frantically blink back tears, and then decided she didn't want to. These were happy tears, and they could keep coming until they'd played out.

The contentment in the living room was interrupted thirty minutes later by a loud, beeping car horn. Derek stood first and went to the front window. "It's Garcia," he said.

"Is this what you two were whispering about last night?" asked Emily.

Derek glanced quickly at her and then shook his head. "No. I didn't know you saw that, but I can assure you I have no clue why she's here right now."

They moved to the door, Maddie and Devon at their heels, and opened it. Penelope Garcia was standing in the driveway wearing the most wonderful, outlandish, spectacular Christmas outfit Emily had ever seen. She gazed at the four of them while they stood on the front porch and smiled a smile that was so uniquely Penelope, you just knew something amazing was going to happen. And it did.

Without taking her eyes off the four of them, Garcia stepped back in the driveway and opened the back door of her behemoth car. It didn't quite register with Emily at first when she saw the leaping body and golden fur. It registered with Maddie, though, in an instant.

"Sammy!" Maddie screamed.

And the dog barked and whined and bounded towards Maddie as Maddie ran down the front steps. They met somewhere in the middle and Sammy couldn't decide if he wanted to play or whine at Maddie's feet in sheer joy. He knocked Maddie into the snow and then laid next to her on his side with his face in her neck making joyful noises Emily had never heard come from a dog.

Maddie was sobbing and laughing and Devon ran down the steps to be part of the action just as Penelope came up the steps. It didn't matter that the kids were in pajamas with only socks on. None of them bothered to blink past or swallow back tears as they watched the kids play in the snow with the dog. At one point Maddie ran up the steps and flung her arms around Penelope and shook her head like she couldn't believe it. There were tears frozen on her cheeks and under her nose and Emily thought Maddie in that moment was the most beautiful she'd ever seen her, the most carefree.

"Please tell me you didn't steal that dog," Emily finally managed to whisper.

"No," Garcia said with a laugh. "We found the person who adopted Sammy last Tuesday, after Maddie came with her laptop. But she didn't call me back until yesterday evening because she was at a cabin with friends for the week and there was no reception up there. When she heard the story, she was heartbroken, but she knew she couldn't keep Sammy."

"So she just gave him up?" asked Derek.

"She knew it was the right thing to do," said Garcia, slightly hesitating. "Rossi may or may not have offered to pay off her student loans."

"As a bribe?" asked Emily.

"As a thank you," replied Pen.

Derek laughed and Emily joined him.

And Maddie ran around the front yard with her dog and cried happy tears for all of them. And Sammy barked joyfully enough for all of them, too.