Okay, I am dearly sorry for my little freak out in the previous chapter, for anybody that read it! I was in a tough spot, and I was about to crack! But I assure you I have regained my sanity! And I am all good now! I re-wrote the chapter! And it actually has changed from the original story line. It changed a lot. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strange, ch-ch-changes, I'm just gonna have to be a different one! Hmmm…I see I still haven't fixed that little 'breaking out into song' problem, have I? Oh well! Thank you David Bowie! Anyways, this chapter is named after the Beatles song, Tell Me Why. It is totally fitting…kind of. It goes, tell me whhhhy-hyy-hyy-hyyyy you cry, and why you liiiiiieeee-hi-hi, to-oo me-heee? I suggest you listen to it, because it is wonderful! Actually I am listening to it as I write this. And yes, as I have already told you, there is a Beatles song for every possible situation! Okay, well I hope you enjoy this chapter! And, please, please, please, REVIEW!

Chapter 20: Tell Me Why You Cry and Why You Lie to Me?

"Remus" I said quietly, and he turned around, for he had not been facing me at first.

"Oh hi Clary" he said smiling. At first he seemed normal, but then when he remembered what was going on between us his face changed and he looked depressed and uncomfortable.

This is it Clary! It's time to let it out! Or maybe I can wait 'till tomorrow? No…no! You have wanted to do this for weeks now, Clary! Now is your chance. But I'm scared. Stop being so freaking scared! He feels the same way. He said so! He told me to my face! Right? Oh god…what if he changed his mind? What do I do? Urggg….stop procrastinating! Just do it Clary! But I can't! Yes you can! No. Yes, just do you stupid idiot!

"Remus!" I screamed accidentally, being caught up in my little moment I was having there. His eyes widened in surprise.

"You realize that is the second time you've done that to me today" he said teasingly.

Why am I so nervous? I'm never nervous around Remus! Oh wait! I'm about to tell him that I am in love with him! Yeah…that's why I'm nervous.

"Hmmm…sorry" I sighed. What do I say? "Uhhhh…how was your day?" I asked, while looking at my feet.

"It was good, besides you screaming at me" he said and he smiled. Urgggg…

Why are you so cute, Remus Lupin? You are only making this more difficult on my part!

"Oh yeah…again, sorry" I said, trying to calm down.

"How was you're day?" he asked, kindly.

"Great" I said with a big, fake smile plastered to my face. Clary, you filthy liar.

"Really?" He lifted an eyebrow at me, obviously not buying my smile.

"Uhhhh…no" I sighed, miserably.

"Clary, what's wrong?" he asked, thoughtfully. I looked into his eyes quickly.

Alright I'm gonna say it! I'm gonna tell him! I'm gonna tell him that I love him! No more stalling. No more distractions. I'm gonna do it! Yeah…let's go! I'm gonna do this! I'm gonna…I'm stalling aren't I?

"Ummmm Remus…uhhhh…I just….I just put an end to that club of mine."

He looked at me strangely, "Why?"

"Because…I realized….that I….I don't want to be…alone" I said and I looked up at him. He had no clear expression on his face, but it didn't matter. His eyes said it all. They were sparkling and staring at me lovingly.

"You mean…" he said slowly.

"Yes…you" I said, softly and I smiled. He smiled right back at me. Goodness he is so handsome! His long sandy brown hair and his big blue eyes, and his perfect nose, and perfect smile, and perfect face, and…

"No!" he cried. Then suddenly he spun around and sat on the couch. He put his face in his hands.

"Remus! What's wrong?" I said as I sat down next to him.

"Clary, I can't be with you! I can't be with anyone! That's why I have never told you that I love you! Because we can't be together!" he yelled angrily.

"Remus, I don't understand" I said. What does he mean we can't be together?

"Clary look….I have been hiding something from you…from everybody. Well, except the other Marauders, but they figured it out themselves. And that is the reason why…why I can't be with you" he said.

"Well, can you at least tell me so we can talk about it?" I asked.

"I…I can't" he sighed.

I felt angry.

"So, you are just going to blow me off, after everything we have been through, because of some stupid reason that you can't even tell me about?" I asked, feeling my cheeks grow hot. I stood up. I felt my hands clench into fists at my side.

"You don't understand, Clary, I am only doing this to protect you" he said, standing up as well. Merlin…why does he have to be taller than me!

"To protect me?" I asked incredulously.

"Yes, Clary, it's…it's complicated" he said.

"Remus, I'm not a child! I don't care if it's complicated" I spat at him.

"I didn't mean it like that. Clary…" he reached out to touch my shoulder.

"Stop" I said, and I stepped away from him.

"Clary, you know I don't want to do this!" he yelled.

"Then why are you?" I asked.

Then a thought came into my mind. I looked up at him, with sad eyes, and then down to the floor. I shook my head, and stepped a back once again.

"You don't really like me, do you?" I asked, quietly.

"Clary, that's ridiculous, you know I like you" he said. He took a step towards me.

"No, I don't know! This is just some excuse, isn't it? Because you don't want to go out with me!" I said, I felt tears beginning to burn in my eyes.

"That's not true-"

"It is true! I know it's true!" I cut him off.

"Clary-"

"I don't wanna hear it, Remus!" I snapped, cutting him off once again.

"Please, Clary, I'm telling you-"

"Look, next time…next time just tell me the truth" I said quietly, feeling the first teardrop roll down my cheek. I turned away from him and ran up the stairs.

"Clary!" he called after me, but I simply ignored him. I ran into my dormitory, and plopped face down onto my bed. I sobbed into my pillow for the next hour, until I heard the girls coming up. I quickly got into my bed, and drew the curtains as if I was sleeping. I didn't want to talk to them right now.

I just wanted to cry.