Note: Hello everyone! Sorry for not updating sooner, but I've been very busy with NaNoWriMo this month. I've completed my 50k words and verified my novel, but I still have like four chapters to write before it's finished. This chapter of Endurance though was finished last night and I saw no point in waiting to update.

I sincerely hope you like it. Thank you so much for your continuous support and love for this fic! :)

Endurance

Chapter 21

She walked for a good while, keeping to the main road. Taking a car with her from Alexandria hadn't been an option, because she knew that the story she was going to try to sell to Negan wouldn't be believable at all otherwise. In fact, as she walked, she began contemplating how she could make it sound as if she had been forced to aid Daryl, Emma and Annie in their escape. She didn't think anyone would believe her but if she was lucky, they might at least let her inside the fence so that she could try to sell them her bullshit story.

Walking to the Sanctuary would take her forever though, at least a day an a half, so she had no choice but to try and look for a vehicle. Every time she saw a car somewhere, she stopped to check if it still worked. However, if a car had been abandoned on the side of the road, it was usually an indication that it had run out of gas.

As she walked she recalled everything that had happened the night before, still feeling that pleasant ache between her legs which made her remember every single detail about her time with Daryl. The way that his rough hands had moved over her skin, how he had pleasured her in-between their small conversations about what was to happen when she left, and what he needed to do. Images of the two of them moving in union, their skin layered with sweat and their kisses sloppy as them came down from their respective highs after getting off together… It had been explosive and unlike anything that she had ever had before. She couldn't remember having felt her emotions run as high as they had the night before and what shocked her the most was that out of everything that they had done, every position they had fucked in, she had been the most content when Daryl's arms had just been wrapped around her.

Their conversations had been quiet, but important. She had let him see parts of her that she knew that she had been keeping suppressed ever since she had first started climbing in ranks at the Sanctuary. It had been so long since she had been that open with someone that she had almost convinced herself that that part of her had been lost forever.

It had been lost, in fact, but when she had seen that boy get murdered at the Hilltop, it had been as if something inside of her had fired off another gun and she had woken out of the persona that she had created for herself in order to survive. She had believed in Negan and the person that she had thought he was; the person that he had been, in a way, that first time that she had met him. He had saved her from being raped once and he had always had her back and she had never doubted him, until that day. Until she had seen what he had done to that poor child. Until he had brutally beat him to death, just to prove that he wasn't someone to be messed with. She hadn't talked to him at all as they had driven back to the Sanctuary, at least not until they were alone in his office. She had asked him then if he felt remorse, but he had only smiled and told her that he had just gotten another community to serve them, so why should he? Beth had nodded, pretending that she was okay with it but she had seen it in his eyes that he knew that she wasn't. She had gone to Jack the next day and asked him to draw her wings just the way that she described them to him, just the way that she remembered them, and a few days after that, she was laying on the table while the tattooist pierced her skin for the first time.

Beth walked and she walked, her legs not tiring. She kept pushing herself forward, even though it felt like she was getting nowhere. Looking into the woods, she recalled the small cabin that they had spent the night in after they had escaped from the Sanctuary together and she wondered whether she would be able to find it again on foot. She knew how to track and she hoped that her sense of direction was right because she was pretty certain that the cabin shouldn't be too far away. Besides, she really needed to pee too.

A walker was dragging its feet a bit further off, but it hadn't seen her yet so she quietly slipped off into the woods. She continued her walk for just a bit, keeping her eyes and ears open for any threats nearby before unbuttoning her pants.

After relieving herself she quickly hurried back to the road and by now, the walker had come close enough to spot her. It was murky and dark, covered in blood and she took out her dagger quickly as it staggered toward her. Quietly and efficiently, she stabbed it in its eye, before letting it crumble to the ground. Wrinkling her nose, she wiped the blood off of her jeans before tucking it away again.

Beth looked ahead and continued to walk.

-§-

She had continued to walk until the sun started to set. It had taken her too long to get as far as she had and if her calculations were correct, she wouldn't be able to reach the Sanctuary until tomorrow. Until then though, it wasn't safe to remain outside in the open. She was on high alert as she walked down the road, but due to months and months of clearing the area, there weren't that many walkers around. Usually if one stumbled by, it was a lone straggler which had made it there from places that weren't within Savior territory. So far, she hadn't come across any other than the one a few miles back, which meant that she had been lucky, something which was rather surprising.

As she walked down the road, she spotted a car which had been driven off the road. She walked over to it to look through it quickly because she had to check if there was any fuel left by any chance so that she could maybe drive the last few miles. It seemed like her fortune had run out though because not only wasn't there any fuel left, but the car seemed to have been abandoned years ago. She knew that it couldn't be healthy to sleep inside the rust bucket, but she had to get some shut-eye somewhere where the walkers couldn't get to her. The car technically had four walls and a roof, and even though it was rusty as fuck, all the windows were intact too. She managed to get the back door opened and slid inside as quietly as she could, sliding the door shut. The windows were so dirty that it would be impossible to see anything from the outside, especially during the night, but that meant that it would also be difficult to get a clear view of things from the inside. Beth decided that some rest was worth the risk.

She ignored the mouldy smell of the vehicle and tried to focus on the good things as she took out some food that she had snatched on her way out of Alexandria. At least there hadn't been a walker inside the car and there didn't seem to be any remnants of blood around. That meant that no one had died inside the vehicle or been eaten alive. Instead, she figured that whoever it was that had left it behind all those years ago must have driven it off the road knowingly, as if not wanting to block the way for future travels.

Beth ate in silence as she once again thought of what would be waiting for her in the Sanctuary. Firstly, she didn't know what had happened to Luke, if Negan had bought the story that she had told him to sell. A part of her didn't want to face the young man if he was still alive by some miracle, because she knew that she was beginning to regret ever having used him the way that she had. It had been the logical thing to do then, because she had been different. She had used herself as a resource to seduce the poor man and make him care about her so that she would later be able to escape with his help. The fact that she had spared him, when she had originally planned on simply killing him, made her question whether she had ever been as cold-hearted as she had thought herself to be. Daryl had had a thing or two to say about the matter, but even though she believed him, a tiny part of her still questioned herself.

Her second problem was connected to the first. If Negan had bought Luke's story, and he was somehow alive, then there was no way that Negan was going to buy hers. There were so many holes in the plan but she knew that she had to try. If anything, maybe Negan would show her mercy, since there had been a time when he had cared for her in a deeper way than just wanting her to be his for the sake of winning a game.

Beth ate her food in silence as her mind instead returned to everything that had happened between her and Daryl. She wondered how far he had gotten, if he had reached the Hilltop Colony already and if Gregory had proven himself as the asshole that she knew that he was. She hoped that they had managed to convince Jesus at least to stand on their side. It wasn't that she had had many conversations with the man, but after she had been awakened when Negan had beat that boy to death, she had started paying more attention to the people around her. That was how she knew that Jesus was someone who could be trusted to stand up for those in need, or how Andy, one of their doctors at the Sanctuary could be trusted to help Daryl without asking too many questions. Andy had looked horrified by the whole ordeal and Beth had seen that before he too had fallen right back into keeping his face as impassive as possible. She knew that the man who had tattooed her back, Jack, was someone who had made a peaceful living out of his work before and sure, he earned points in the Sanctuary, but he did so by guarding as well as tattooing the other Saviors who then paid him by giving them some of their own collected points. As the man had been working on Beth's back, she had made sure that everyone knew that he wasn't to be touched. She was certain that he could take care of himself, but her saying that hade made Jack grateful to her, and thus loyal. There had been other people in similar positions who had shown their gratitude to her for her help by standing by her whenever someone began questioning her authority.

Dwight was one of the complicated ones though. A part of her thought that he hated her because of her position with Negan. She knew that he deep down was still angry over the fact that his wife, Sherry, had chosen the easier life of being Negan's wife. From what Beth had understood, that had been a mutual decision between the two of them. They had hoped that it would keep them safe somehow, but eventually, being apart had become too much. Beth still recalled the day that Negan had caught them together; she still recalled the smell of burning flesh as Negan pressed the heated iron to Dwight's face, burning half of it clean off. She remembered how she had stared down Luke, trying to keep him from helping his cousin because she had known that it would cause him problems in the future. Back then, the two of them hadn't been involved, but after what had happened to Dwight, it had been made clear that the same fate, if not something worse, awaited the one who touched Beth.

She knew that she had been cruel to Dwight a few times, mentioning Sherry on purpose as well as remind him of the fact that despite getting the choice again, Sherry had chosen to remain with Negan. Beth regretted it, even though Dwight hadn't exactly been the kindest person toward her either. Whenever he caught her alone, he would drop snide remarks or acknowledge the fact that she had earned her place with Negan partially because he favored her over everyone else. Still, Dwight had been the one that she had been partnered up with the most whenever they went on runs and he had always had her back when they were out in the wild. He knew how to follow orders like any other Savior, but when others would sometimes question her, he backed her up, reminding them of Negan's rules and the hierarchy within the Sanctuary. He was a complicated man, yes, sometimes even reminding her of Daryl, and not just in the sense that he too used a crossbow. The two of them were more similar than she had liked to admit. Both of them had been through hell and more, and come out on the other side. The main difference between them though, was that Beth had never been able to imagine Daryl surrender to a bully like Negan. Perhaps that was why she had treated Dwight the way that she had, because she had wanted him to be the man that she deep down knew he was; the kind of man who stood up for injustice and for those who couldn't stand up for themselves.

Or maybe she was wrong about him and she had destroyed any hope of having him as an ally.

Beth chewed on her food in silence and then leaned back, closing her eyes to the fleeting images of Daryl's smile inside her head.

-§-

Beth woke with a start the next morning. Her breaths came out in hard pants as she tried to recall what her nightmare had been about this time. She had gotten used to sleeping next to someone, next to Daryl, in such a short time and when she had been in his arms, the nightmares had been few. It was almost as if she had forgotten about them completely.

She forced herself to breathe slowly, swallowing a few times to calm herself. Finally, she closed her eyes, putting her hand over her heart so that she could count her heartbeats. She was still here; she was still alive. There was still something to fight for.

With that in mind, she got up and ate a stale cracker before getting out of the car, taking down two walkers who had just been stumbling past her and then continuing down the road.

-§-

"Well, well, well," a sneer was heard behind her. Beth recognized the voice and tightened the grip on her dagger. "Would ya look at who came stumblin' back to our territory?"

She hadn't spoken to anyone since she had left Alexandria and her voice was hoarse, rough around the edges when she spun around to look at Turner. "I escaped," she said, her eyes widening almost too dramatically as she thought of all the people she had lost, making her voice thick with tears. She hadn't expected Turner to be the one to be sent out by their scouts. Dwight usually was. She could handle the crossbow-wielding man, but Turner? He was a wildcard.

"Escaped, eh?" Turner mocked. She forced herself to stand still when he took two large strides and stood in her space. "We'll fuckin' see 'bout that, won't we?"

"Take me to Negan," she said, still trying to sound exhausted, which wasn't very difficult considering that she was exhausted. She had been walking for so long that she was certain that her feet were bleeding by now.

"As the lil' angel wishes," Turner said. She could see something sinister in his eyes and he motioned with his fingers for her to turn around. Beth hesitated, because she knew what was coming. There was no way that it could have been so simple. "Turn 'round, Sweetcheeks," Turner instructed and Beth did as she was told, putting her hands behind her back. The cool plastic of the zip-tie dug almost painfully into her skin as Turner tightened it. He pulled her close to him so that her back was against his chest and his foul breath reached her nose when he leaned closer to her so that he could whisper in her ear. "We're gonna have so much fun when we get back," he told her. He took a step back from her and she closed her eyes when he let out a whistle. All around, Turner's team stepped out from the forest. Beth could hear them hooting and cheering as they gathered around in a circle around her. She held her head high and opened her eyes, moving over the familiar faces.

What she didn't expect to see was Luke staring back at her, his look as hard as the jagged scar that ran over his left eye.

-§-

Turner had confiscated her weapons and her dagger was now attached to his belt. The thought of that alone made her want to throw up. The dirty man led her toward the gates, whistling to announce their arrival after they had stepped out of their vehicles. Beth kept her head down as Turner led her inside but just because she didn't look, it didn't mean that she couldn't hear.

As the man led her to the dining hall, the other Saviors around them whispered and gasped amongst themselves. Some sounded shocked to see her alive and others started throwing words of insult at her, but she ignored them all.

"That's how we greet traitors," Turner whispered to her, sounding borderline giddy. Beth's hands clenched and she wished that she could just take her dagger and stab him in his fucking throat, just so that he would stop talking. And preferably, die.

Turner stopped leading her when they reached the middle of the room. The people inside stood in a ring around her and Beth could feel Turner's own hunting knife digging into her back. "Don't try anythin', Sugar. We gotta wait for the Boss while he finishes fuckin'," he told her, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger as he forced her to look at him. "He's been insatiable since ya left. We can all hear his wives moanin' durin' the night. I'm sure they'll thank ya for it."

Beth glared at him defiantly, the urge to knock his teeth in growing with every passing second. She turned away from him forcefully and looked at the people in the crowd. Some of them looked almost frightened. Her eyes hardened and she wondered whether it was possible that it had something to do with the Sanctuary, the fact that she could so easily fall back into her murderous thoughts. Her eyes settled on Jack, the tattooist, who she knew didn't hate her.

"Go and get Negan," she told him, her voice rough. "I'm tired of being tied up like an animal."

Turner howled with laughter, his knife breaking skin. Beth could see Jack hesitate. "Ya think ya can just come back here an' start givin' orders again?" he laughed. "Sweetheart," he spoke slowly, "ain't no one gonna listen to ya no more."

Beth gritted her teeth and in one quick move, she snapped her head back, satisfied when she heard the small crunching sound of Turner's nose caving.

"Fuckin' bitch," the man screamed, pushing her forward hard and her knees connected painfully with the hard floor. People in the crowd started moving, but Beth wasn't sure if they were going to attack her or defend her. She shut her eyes tightly, anticipating the first blow any second.

"What the fucking fuck is going on?" a loud voice boomed. Her eyes snapped open and she turned so that she could look at the platform where he stood, looking just as dangerously handsome as he always did. Lucille was in his hand as he gripped the railing tightly, glaring down at the people who had been about to break out into a fight. His eyes settled on her and for just a second, she saw him falter. There was no way anyone else had seen it though, because it was quickly replaced with his trained smile, always present whenever he was about to make a show out of someone.

"I'll be damned," Negan said, his grin only widening as he moved back from the railing. He descended the stairs, Lucille still in his grip as he started to approach her. Beth tried to move so that she could stand, but it was difficult to do so. On the other hand, she figured that seeming vulnerable might be a good thing.

"Negan," she said, her voice almost a whimper as she looked up at him through what she knew was teary eyes.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Negan shook his head, crouching down so that he was almost face to face with her. "Don't bother getting up, Angel," he told her. "I want you kneeling for this."

-§-

Beth wasn't sure how much time that passed. All she was certain of was that she hadn't taken her eyes off of Negan as he walked in front of her. He wasn't exactly pacing, but he didn't seem able to just stand still either. On the other hand, he had never really been capable of doing that.

She could see the looks that everyone else in the place were giving here. What they thought ultimately didn't matter because she had come back to the Sanctuary to convince Negan that she was innocent of whatever it was that they suspected he of. If she got him on her side, no one would dare touch her and she would be able to work to but Daryl and the rest of Alexandria more time.

"Now," Negan started slowly, looking around at the other Saviors, "I'm sure you're all wondering what the fuck is going on. I mean, Angel here just disa-fucking-ppears one night, leaving the gate open and the rest of us to clean up her fucking mess. And now she's back, once again taking the fucking knee in front of me, in front of us."

She couldn't decipher what he was doing. The only thing she knew for certain was that Negan had never likened himself to the rest of the Saviors. He was their superior and to listen to him talk like this, as if he actually saw them as equals in some fucked up way, made her skin crawl.

"Do you know how many people were killed that night, Angel?" Negan asked, once again stopping in front of her. Her tongue felt like led, mouth dry. "Speak when you're fucking spoken to," Negan said, his voice dangerously low. "You know the fucking rules."

"I don't- I don't know," Beth breathed out, her chest feeling painfully constricted. She didn't want to think too much but her mind kept going back to Daryl and the others, wondering what would happen to them if she didn't successfully convince Negan that she was still on their side.

"Seven," he spat, and she could see the anger rolling through him. "Four men, three women. Neither of them knew what to expect when they stepped out that fucking morning to look at the fucking tomatoes. They sure as fuck didn't expect twenty dead ones to be surrounding them."

Her mind tried to make sense of it. What was he saying? She couldn't remember if she had closed the door to the Sanctuary, but she was sure that she hadn't. But if she hadn't, how had Luke made it out of there alive if twenty walkers had gotten in? He had been passed out when she had left and she knew there would have been no way for him to defend himself.

"I'm sorry," Beth said.

"You're gonna be fucking sorry," Negan hissed at her. She still didn't look away from him as he stared her down, his gaze pinning her. "Seven people, Angel. That's what you owe me," he told her. "Unless you can prove that you somehow hadn't planned on fucking letting my prisoners go and leaving the gates of hell open."

"I didn't have a choice," Beth blurted. "I went to check on the prisoner, thinking that I could talk to him… He attacked me and forced me to lead him to the women."

"That's not the story I heard," Negan said and a murmur erupted among the other people surrounding them. For just a moment, she had forgotten that they weren't alone. Interrogations usually took place one-on-one, but it was evident that Negan wanted people to see this. Did that mean that he was going to make an example out of her.

"I heard," he continued thoughtfully, "that you let the prisoners out and that you led them out of here. That you knocked out Dwighty-boy's little cousin because he caught you escaping with them."

"I had no choice but to make him believe that!" Beth snapped, her eyes narrowing. She didn't want to be reminded about the way that she had treated Luke. For fuck's sake, she couldn't even look at him without feeling remorse, especially since it was clear that he had been punished for it. She couldn't know for certain if they had taken his eye completely, but the scar that ran over his eye was an indication to it. And if they hadn't, then she was fairly certain that he had at least lost his eyesight after someone had attacked him for letting her and the the others escape.

"He was a silly boy who would have followed us," Beth continued, her anger finally shining through. "He would have gotten himself killed if he had gone after me. Fucking hero-complex, that's what he has," she practically snarled, her eyes not daring to seek out Luke's. She wanted to apologize for the harshness of her words but there was no point now. "Those people left the gate open, I didn't," she said. "They took me against my will and there was nothing I could have done. I would never have killed our people, Negan."

This time, when she said his name, she saw something flicker in his eyes. Some kind of calm settled over him, which had her worried for a moment. There was no way of knowing what was going to happen next. She knew that there were holes in her plan, and they weren't small either. Negan stepped toward her, Lucille still in his hand and she could see him gripping the bat tightly. His lips moved, but just barely and she wondered what he was saying to himself. It wasn't the first time that she had caught him talking to the inanimate object in his hands.

"All right," he finally spoke out loud. "Let her go."

A moment of silence passed and Beth couldn't breathe.

What?

"The fuck?" Turner snapped, breaking her out of her thoughts. He came to stand between Negan and Beth and she could see the fury in the man's eyes. "Ya can't just let her go!"

"And who the fuck are you to tell me what the fuck I can and cannot do?" Negan asked, stepping closer to him, getting in Turner's face. "You might want to take a fucking step back before I knock you the fuck down a few inches."

The threat was clear with the way that Negan lifted Lucille up between them. Beth watched as Turner swallowed thickly and shook his head, finally stepping away from Negan and away from Beth, stalking out of the room. She was certain that he would be punished sooner or later for his disobedience but she couldn't think of anything else when Jack walked up to her and cut off the zip-tie. She touched her wrists, rubbing them gently. Her hand automatically moved to her dagger, but it was nowhere to be found. She recalled that Turner had taken all of her weapons and she made a mental note to ask Negan if she could have them back later.

Without thinking about it for too long, she walked toward Negan and wrapped her arms around him in a small hug. She knew that she probably shouldn't, not in front of the rest of the Saviors, but she had to do it. He had spared her life and she wasn't really sure how she had pulled it off, but she had and she was going to stay alive for another while, at least. Hugging Negan was more about her making sure that he would still accept her touch, even though he was clearly angry with her. She felt his fingers grip her hip, almost too hard, but she couldn't bring herself to care at that moment. There would be more talking in private, she was sure, but for now, everyone else seemed to believe that she had been pardoned for what she had done.

"My office," Negan mumbled to her and she nodded against him. She could sense that there was still some hesitancy in him and it made her wonder, because there was no way in hell that Negan would show anyone that he was hesitant to take a woman's touch. Beth wasn't sure just how much of it had to do with him reluctantly choosing to believe her and how much of it was because she was her, his Angel.

Negan pulled back from her and met her eyes for just a second and she saw the barely there nod that he gave her. Without another word, she followed him up the stairs and onto the platform, walked with him all the way to his office and stepped inside. It was the same as it had always been, she noted to herself.

The lock on the door clicked behind her and she couldn't help the tenseness that settled over her shoulders as the bad feeling in her gut flared up again. She heard his footsteps as he walked past her, putting Lucille on the desk, something which he never did. Lucille had her own special place in the office, just as she had her special place in Negan's bedroom.

Beth watched Negan as he opened one of the drawers and pulled out a bottle of scotch, something which she knew had been a courtesy of the Hilltop Colony and their coward of a leader. A part of her expected him to fill up a glass, but instead, she watched him take a swig directly from the bottle, something that she couldn't remember ever having seen him do. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and turned around, meeting her eyes. She knew it then, in that moment, that she couldn't have been that lucky. She hadn't convinced anyone of anything and much less Negan.

"How fucking stupid do you think that I am?" he asked her, bitterness lacing his voice, another thing that she had never heard from him. Beth swallowed thickly, because no, she hadn't pulled anything off at all.

Note: The much awaited return to the Sanctuary has finally arrived, and yes, Negan hasn't believed a word that Beth has told him. In the next chapter, we'll finally get the confrontation, but before that, I might actually post my Negan one-shot which will sort of let everyone see just what has been going on in his head since the start of the apocalypse, to the day that he met Beth and took her in, what he was thinking when she disappeared and then finally just what he has been thinking about everything that has happened. I'm like half-way through with the one-shot (which is going to be a long one) but keep an eye out for it sometime in the beginning of December. It will be called "A Touch of Madness".

Also, I have a bit more to write on my NaNoWriMo story, so don't expect another update until after this month is over... I hope you liked this chapter though, and it would make me so happy to hear your thoughts! Please, tell me what you think will happen in the next chapter.

Thank you for reading and supporting my story!

Until next time! Xx

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! :) xx