I Fell In Love With My Apprentice
Chapter 21: Living In Dreams, While Reality Slips Away
"Okay, I'm actually starting to get concerned," Talonstrike said after a long moment of hesitation. "Where is Jaystorm and Lilypaw?"
"How should I know?" Darkclaw hissed in exasperation. "They could be anywhere in the forest for crying out loud."
"Well we can't wait around for them forever," Talonstrike mumbled. "I say we take these kits back on our own."
"It would look better if we all do it," Darkclaw argued. "If the entire fearsome foursome goes over there, it would probably have a better effect than just half of us."
"How do we even know there is a fearsome four anymore?" Talonstrike asked cautiously. "After what just happened... I don't know if they'll even be able to be around each other anymore."
"Are you talking about Lilypaw and Jaystorm?"
"Who else would I be talking about?" Talonstrike snapped. After a long pause, he spoke again more gently. "I can't believe Jaystorm actually has a kit in Greenclan."
"I know," Darkclaw said grimly. "It's also unfortunate we had to find out like that."
"It's his own freaking fault," Talonstrike mumbled. "At the rate he's going, the entire forest will soon just be a collection of Jaystorms kits."
"I wonder how he even met Reedflower in the first place anyway," Talonstrike said. "It seems strange."
"Of course it's strange."
"Well, not like that," Talonstrike said slowly.
"What do you mean?" Darkclaw asked, his annoyance replacing with curiosity.
"I mean, something seems ... off," Talonstrike said at last. "I have a feeling something strange is going on."
"Yeah, well," Darkclaw broke off as he saw something. "What do you know. Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear."
Talonstrike turned around and saw what he was talking about at once.
Jaystorm and Lilypaw were walking side by side towards them.
"What do we say?" Talonstrike said in panic. "This is so stressful-"
"Calm down," Darkclaw whispered. "Just don't even mention what happened. Don't say one word."
"Okay," Talonstrike said unconvincingly.
"Hello," Lilypaw said awkwardly as she approached them. Jaystorm nodded his head without meeting their eyes.
"What were you two doing?" Talonstrike said, obviously thinking out each word before he said it. "These kits need to be getting back to their clans as soon as possible."
Jaystorm looked over at Firekit and Cloudkit, who were sleeping next to each other in a pile of leaves.
"And why are you wet?" Darkclaw blurted out, staring at Jaystorms sodden pelt.
"I was swimming," Jaystorm mumbled.
"Uh, okay," Darkclaw said, deciding to dismiss the matter even though he knew it was a lie. The four cats stood awkwardly for a solid few moments before anyone spoke.
"So uh, we should probably go to Treeclan first," Talonstrike said gruffly, and everyone sighed as the tension eased. "Silverstar is worried sick about Firekit."
"Alright," Jaystorm agreed.
Darkclaw looked at Jaystorm, then at Lilypaw. They stood deathly still, not looking at each other. Darkclaw then heard a sort of snorting sound from beside him. He looked over to see Talonstrike making a big show of not saying anything.
"What are you doing?" Jaystorm snapped.
"What's going on with you two?" the words seemed to explode out of Talonstrikes mouth.
"Talonstrike!" Darkclaw hissed. "What did I just tell you not to do?"
"I couldn't help it!" Talonstrike wailed. "I need to know!"
"Everything's fine," Lilypaw said cooly, narrowing her eyes. "Don't worry."
"Yeah," Jaystorm said bluntly. "We're good."
"Alright..." Darkclaw said slowly. "If you say so."
...
"What's Lilypaw doing?" Moonpaw asked Jinglepaw, as he stared at was going on. Across the clearing, Lilypaw was hesitantly walking back and forth from a tree stump to the medicine cats den.
"It looks as though she can't make up her mind if whether she's sick or not," Jinglepaw snorted, as Lilypaw looked at the medicine cats den for several heartbeats before stalking back to the stump.
"I don't know what's going on," Moonpaw murmured sadly. "She looks so distraught."
"It might be because none of her friends are around," Jinglepaw shrugged. "She's usually stuck by those three tom cats every second of the day."
"Well, Jaystorms here," Moonpaw replied. "I saw him not moments ago. I thought they were mates."
"I heard they broke up," Jingle argued.
"Well, I heard they got back together," Moonpaw muttered. "It's a shame."
"Aw, are you still hung up on Lilypaw?" Jinglepaw asked. "I thought you didn't like her anymore."
"It's not my fault!" Moonpaw exploded. "Feelings are feelings."
"Yeah well, the object of your 'feelings' is taken," Jinglepaw whispered. "She's an old soul, Moonpaw. Lilypaw has the body of a young cat but the mind of a senior warrior."
"It's stupid," Moonpaw hissed. "If Darkclaw hadn't reigned her in, she'd still be one of us. He ripped her kit hood out of her paws before she even had a chance to hold it."
"She seems content enough," Jinglepaw shrugged. "She never looks sad."
"Except for right now," Moonpaw said. "I'm going to go figure out what's wrong."
"Good luck," Jinglepaw called after him. Moonpaw flicked his tail in reply and made his way over to where Lilypaw was pacing.
"What are you doing?" he asked when he was in earshot.
"I have anxiety," Lilypaw snapped, not slowing down her pacing.
"Well, can I talk to you?" Moonpaw called after her as she stomped over to the medicine cats den for the sixth time.
"If you walk with me," Lilypaw called back. "I'm not stopping."
Moonpaw sighed and ran to keep up with her. He hadn't even gotten close to her when he could feel her apprehension coming off her pelt in waves. He sensed a sickening tension flowing off her spiked fur on her spine, and he wondered in alarm what was wrong.
"Why do you have anxiety?" Moonpaw asked as he walked beside her. "Me and Jinglepaw could tell something was up across the clearing."
"My life's a mess," Lilypaw said simply. Moonpaw was about to gently suggest if she wanted to talk about it, but he didn't have to. Lilypaw started explaining it before he had a chance to ask.
"It's just like, I feel like everything I know is a lie," she said angrily.
"With Jaystorm?" Moonpaw pressed, even though he didn't particularly want to discuss Lilypaws horrid choice of a mate.
"Well, yeah," Lilypaw said.
"What did he do?"
"I mean, like, he has three kits with Hollyfern," Lilypaw said, ignoring him. "And that's fine. It happened before we were together."
"So... what's the problem?" Moonpaw was confused.
"I don't want to talk about it," Lilypaw muttered. Moonpaw looked at her face and came to conclusion that the last thing she wanted to do was not talk about it.
"So," Moonpaw said, and before he could say anything else, Lilypaw opened her mouth to speak.
"I just can't believe he's Rosepaws father," she said angrily.
"Oh, that," Moonpaw thought back to the days earlier events and cringed. "That was a pretty awful way to find out."
"He lied to me," Lilypaw growled. "He lied to everyone."
"So, what are you going to do?" Moonpaw asked, trying to shove away the nagging hope that she would leave him for good.
"I don't know what to do," Lilypaw whispered.
"Are you going to be mates still?" Moonpaw blurted out before he realized how prying that was. However, Lilypaw didn't notice he was digging for information.
"No, we are not mates anymore," Lilypaw said at last. "I love him dearly, but I can't live my life that way."
"Why not?"
"My life is just starting," Lilypaw sighed. "And it'll be gone sooner if I waste it all looking after kits that Jaystorm brought into the world."
"I think it's a good choice," Moonpaw said kindly, struggling to keep the pep out of his voice. "Does he know this already?"
"I told him a while ago," Lilypaw whispered. "When we walked back to camp together."
"Is he okay?"
"He'll heal," Lilypaw said confidently. "I mean, I think we were both just infatuated by the beginning. It was so exciting, forbidden. Now that we're actually y'know, together, reality sunk in."
"Reality can't go away," Moonpaw smiled.
"I know," Lilypaw said, looking at him with bright eyes. "Sometimes it just takes a little while to see that."