A/N: As always, thanks to those of you who review. Normally I don't respond to reviews unless they have specific questions, but I just had to point out one I got from last chapter concerning Ginny slapping Harry. When I say slapping, I mean in the best possible way. Swatting is a better term to describe it - I wish I had thought of it when writing. And besides that, it was just an amazingly awesome review all around.
For those of you wondering, this is the second to last chapter. While I've had loads of fun writing it, I'm glad to see this fic come to a close. I have many other ideas, some of which you'll see showing up here, and even more of which will be in my LiveJournal.
My beta asked me if there will be any Harry/Ginny scenes where I write what Harry teaches her in terms of magic (read the chapter and you'll understand), and I told him not at the moment. I might, however, write one-shots if there is interest, so let me know if that's the case.
Anyway, here's an update just like you asked for. :D As always, thanks to Greg for keeping me grounded.
Chapter Twenty-One: Of Past and Future
As the spring continued to grace the Hogwarts grounds with fabulous weather, all anyone (including the faculty) could seem to talk or even think about were the impending finals of the dueling tournament. The four house winners had been selected through the single elimination tournament, and the finals were set to commence on the third Saturday and Sunday of May. However, as much as he was involved with the preparation and running of the tournament, Harry Potter had one other thing on his mind that, to him, made the tournament seem like a minor detail. He knew if he waited much longer Ginny was going to propose to him, and as much as it seemed easier to do it that way, he would never be able to stand the shame.
He already had the ring - he'd gotten it ages ago, knowing the moment he saw it that it was perfect - and he knew where they would be, but he had zero idea of what to say or how to say it. He'd been puzzling over it for the past few months, even standing in front of a mirror, but in the end he finally beat down his pride and asked for help from someone with experience. He couldn't ask Ron - Hermione had told him how awkward (although romantic) it had been - so he turned to someone who he knew would be cool under the pressure.
"Hello Harry." Bill Weasley offered a hand as Harry approached the table. The pair had agreed to meet at a nice wizarding restaurant, not too fancy, but nice enough that Bill was currently enjoying a very fine wine. The place had been Bill's suggestion - Harry had simply owled and presented the eldest Weasley brother with his problem.
"Hello Bill." They shook hands as Harry took his seat, looking around nervously. One thing that he'd never done or had any great desire to do was dine at fancy restaurants. It seemed too overdone, too uptight to be comfortable. His feelings, of course, had nothing to do with the fact that he had no idea how to act, and certainly nothing to do with how the Yule Ball turned out.
"You might want to get used to it - this is what us married folk do."
Harry resisted the urge to scowl at Bill's knowing smile. He pondered that for a moment, deciding that Bill was right; Ginny would love to (occasionally) get dressed up and be treated to a night out by a gentleman, as long as it ended with a long goodnight kiss. He suppressed a smile at the ideas of what would happen during that kiss.
"Not married yet," Harry sighed, looking everywhere but at Bill. The redhead nodded, understanding the younger wizard's nervousness. He'd felt it not so long ago, even though marrying Fleur had to be the best decision of his life.
"Not for lack of trying on her part, I'd reckon." They shared a laugh at that as the waiter came over to take their orders. Bill, upon seeing the discomfort that such a large menu and being put on the spot caused Harry, ordered for the both of them. He'd talked to this particular waiter before Harry arrived, offering him a nice tip if he'd keep the Boy-Who-Defeated-Evil's presence quiet.
"I just don't know what to say to her. I mean, I know that this is what I want, and that I can't wait much longer, but every time I think of something to say, it just sounds lame."
"Of course it does, Harry." Bill gave him a sympathetic smile. "That's when you know you're ready to be married. You love her enough that when you try to put it into words, it comes out all wrong and it doesn't come close to what you really feel."
Harry's eyes widened, wondering how Bill could put into words what he'd been trying to for months. "That's exactly it. She deserves so much better than anything I can say."
Bill shook his head, amused for reasons that Harry couldn't comprehend. "What better thing can you do for her than give her the thing that makes her the happiest?"
Harry knew exactly what Bill was getting at, but he just couldn't bring himself to agree. "She's been focused on me for so long, ever since she met me. What if there's something better out there that she hadn't even seen yet?" At this, Harry's eyes met the tablecloth as he sighed, absently toying with his fork.
"How does she act around you?"
Harry blinked. "Um...like Ginny?"
Bill shook his head. "Is she happy?"
Harry nodded as his forehead creased, wondering what Bill was getting at.
"Do you want her to be happy?"
"Of course!"
"Then wouldn't being around her forever give her that happiness that you want her to have?"
Harry squirmed uncomfortably. Bill was forcing him face the fact that he made her happy, and that was something that he'd never completely believed. He'd been completely helpless to make anyone less than miserable for the first eleven years of his life, and the first being that he'd made happy was a Boa Constrictor who'd never seen Brazil. It just didn't seem right that he could produce something so wonderful.
"So suppose I actually got up the nerve to ask her, what would she want to hear? I mean, she's so different than Hermione, and to be honest, I've never really been around many other girls."
Bill laughed. "Quite the ladies' man, are you?" He took a sip of wine. "If I know my sister, she'll just want to hear what you're really thinking. She'd like nothing better than for you to stumble over your words and get all tongue tied."
Harry smiled grimly. "That's what I'm afraid of. She'd never let me live that one down."
"No, she'd love to have that to hold over your head, but at least you don't have to deal with the veela charm when you're trying to pop the question. I remember Fleur was glowing and nearly attracting every un-married male in the entire restaurant. I could barely think straight she was so beautiful."
"Ginny doesn't need the veela charm to do that to me," Harry replied quietly, sipping on a butterbeer as their food came. It was extraordinarily fast service - there were benefits to being a hero, even if he hated it. "So you proposed in a restaurant?"
Bill smiled, his eyes glossing over, obviously locked in memory. "It was a nice French place. We were visiting her parents in France, and I wanted to surprise her. She'd always expected me to ask while we were in Britain, so she let her guard down while we were there. I think that's the one and only time I've seen her look absolutely stunned. I won't ever forget it."
Harry nodded, smiling. If he had anything to say about it, neither he nor Ginny would ever forget the night they got engaged.
The meal continued in an easy peace, the talk drifting away from proposing and more to what actual marriage was like. Bill admitted that it was like putting yourself under twenty-four hour a day inspection and always having to please the wife, but when it was someone you loved as much as the two wizards loved their women, it didn't seem so much of a chore as a privilege. Harry tried to pay for the entire meal, which Bill would have none of (the wife will kill me), and the two parted with a warm farewell and a promise that he'd be one of the first to know after Ginny said yes.
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His conversation with Bill made Harry feel a bit better - especially the part about Ginny loving it if he stumbled over his words. Grudgingly, Harry admitted to himself that she would probably find it cute, as embarrassing as it would be. He vowed to himself that she wouldn't get the chance to tease him about it, but he knew the chances of that were slim.
The only thing that was still out of place in his mind was the near constant presence of Tonks, as she was appearing often even within the walls of the castle. Ginny was getting more and more smug as the tournament's end approached, and Harry had even spotted several members of the Order around, causing Harry to wonder what she was up to. They all seemed to be talking to Ginny at some time or another, but he could only guess that they'd become somewhat friends during the war - everyone had taken part in cheering her up while the Trio left her behind. Harry felt a pang of guilt at that thought, so he didn't ask about their presence, but he was still glad that Ginny hadn't been with them for the war. Some of the things that they'd seen and done he would never wish on any human being, let alone the love of his life.
Before he knew it, the tournament had come down to one final match between a Gryffindor sixth-year and a Slytherin seventh-year. It really hadn't been fair to the younger years to be matched against older (something he'd have to think about next year), but it had been loads of fun all the same.
Every student (or so it seemed) turned up at the pitch to watch the final match on Sunday. It took place on a warm but breezy day, one that made Harry want to disappear and take Ginny down by the lake for a nice picnic that included a long snogging session, but that would have to wait until later. After a heated match, the Gryffindor (much to Harry's delight) had snuck a stunner through the Slytherin's shield. It had come down to endurance, in which the Lion had bested the Serpent. Currently, Harry was announcing the winner and offering him a trophy that Hermione had spent hours detailing.
Harry bowed slightly to the Champion, his black unbiased robes fluttering gently in the wind. He'd wanted to wear red and gold, but Ginny had talked him out of it on general principle. Speaking of the witch, she was suspiciously absent, but Harry had seen the look on her face that morning - she was up to something, and it was without a doubt the surprise she'd mentioned earlier in the year. He quickly pushed that thought from his head as he pulled a rather large piece of gold from his robes and turned back to the victorious Gryffindor.
"In honor of Mr. Boardman's victory, I am happy to present 50 Wheezing Galleons complimentary of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. The esteemed owners of such a fine establishment have chosen Hogwarts as the location that they wish to unveil their newest product line - House-Humbling Fireworks."
As the last bit of Harry's amplified voice traveled throughout the pitch, an explosion sounded, drawing every eye up to the massive red and gold lion that appeared over the stadium. A collective gasp was followed by a deafening roar from the lion before it ran a lap around the stands, fading into nothingness in another shower of sparks. Applause exploded from the crowd (well, all but the Slytherins) as Harry handed the Gryffindor his coin. The cacophony continued for a long while, and Harry was just about to dismiss everyone when another very familiar voice exploded from the other side of the pitch.
"I, Ginevra Molly Weasley, formally challenge Harry James Potter to a wizarding duel, to be held at this time and location."
For his part, Harry did his best not to look shocked, but there wasn't much that he could hide behind. Even the unflappable Minerva McGonagall (who was standing behind him) seemed to be stunned. Ginny had somehow slipped onto the pitch unnoticed, which had to have been an astounding feat given the blazing red and gold robes she wore. The robes matched her hair perfectly, also something that was impossible, and the gold seemed accent the glow that surrounded her angelic presence.
The crowd was deathly silent as heads turned toward the press box where the awards had been presented. Harry knew dueling had been outlawed many years ago, but that wouldn't stop Ginny from digging up the formal challenge rules and pulling something like this. Harry had no idea what the proper response was, but he tried his best to sound official.
"I, Harry James Potter, accept this challenge."
A gasp and whispers of excitement raced through the crowd as Harry stepped out of the press box and made his way down to the pitch. He could almost see the grin on his girlfriend's face as she stood waiting. He finally got down to the pitch, though the whispers had increased to a dull roar. Harry could even see the faculty looking on in anticipation. He turned to face his opponent just as her voice rang out again, no doubt amplified by a very powerful Sonorus Charm.
"The only rule for this engagement is the two combatants must stay within the bounds of the arena, in this case the pitch." Ginny paused to send a devilish smile at her boyfriend. "Mrs. Hermione Weasley has offered to moderate this duel. Would you please step forward?"
Harry eyed his best friend as she stepped onto the pitch, also seemingly from nowhere. She was wearing deep blue robes that looked amazing on her – Harry was even reminded of the Yule ball for a moment.
"Are the two duelists ready?"
Harry's eyes fixed on Ginny, letting Hermione's voice float into one ear and out the other. The last few months made sense now - the Order was helping Ginny train for this moment. In his prime, Harry would have no problem taking Ginny out quickly, but now that he'd taken a break from the strenuous action for nearly a year now, and that Ginny had enlisted the Order's help, this could be a good match.
Well, if a fight is what she wants, that's what she's going to get.
"Ready!" Harry called out, and Ginny echoed him, their eyes never breaking each other's gaze.
"Tonare!" A blast echoed, and Harry leapt immediately into action.
"Expelliarmus!"
"Protego!"
Ginny blocked the stunner like she knew it was coming. Harry had to jump out of the way of a return hex, staring at the redhead. A lot had changed in the past few months, and suddenly Ginny was a beacon of power standing in front of him that glowed like nothing he'd ever seen. No doubt Hermione had let her in on all of his dueling strategies - Ginny had every advantage over him, unless he could do a few things that even Hermione didn't know about.
"Incarcerous!"
Ginny tried to deflect the spell, but it overpowered her. Her arms were suddenly bound behind her and her legs were bound together, causing her to fall to the earth. A gasp went up through the crowd as Harry walked toward her, his wand pointing at her.
"Come on, Gin, you really think you can take me?" He was gloating, something he knew he'd have to pay for later, but it was really low of her to surprise him like this.
"Expelliarm-"
He never finished the spell. Ginny somehow cancelled the magical chains that bound her wrists and whipped her wand around and bellowed a curse.
"Percido!"
Harry felt like Hagrid had sucker-punched him right in the gut. He was blown back a good twenty feet, landing hard on his back on the grass and sliding another good foot and a half. It was all he could do to keep hold of his wand as he rolled onto his side and doubled over, wheezing as his vision blurred and cleared. By the time he was kneeling and was able to find Ginny, she was standing with a self-satisfied smirk on her lips.
"Had enough yet, Potter?"
I have to find a way...oh. Harry met her eyes, smiling. "I don't think so, Weasley." Legilimens! Harry thought, but just as he was about to access her thoughts, a big, solid wall blasted him in the face, giving him a resounding headache. Ginny laughed, keeping her wand trained on him.
"Thought that would work, eh Potter?"
Harry cursed under his breath. Since when did she know Occlumency? Damnit, even I can't do that!
"Langlock!"
"Protego!"
"Rictusempra!"
"Silencio!"
Caecus! Ginny wasn't prepared for the final, non-verbal curse. She'd blocked/dodged the first two and her silencing charm had hit Harry's throat, but the third curse was completely unexpected. Her eyes started moving frantically, her hands coming to her face out of instinct which allowed Harry to stand. The pain in his gut had subsided to a dull throb, which Ginny was going to pay for now.
Incarcerous!
This time, visible ropes exploded from Harry's wand, wrapping the redhead tight and giving her another thing to struggle against. She'd expected a disarming charm, the block for which failed against the binding spell. Harry pulled on the cords to bring her closer, hearing her desperately trying to relieve the blindness of her eyes. Suddenly, her movements stopped and she touched her wand to the ropes around herself.
"Incendio!"
The ropes burst into flame, singing her robes but falling away as they no longer had the thickness to restrain her. She pulled her wand in a huge slashing arc in front of her, aiming in Harry's general direction before he'd blinded her.
"Flagrate!"
A massive arc of fire slashed toward Harry, forcing him to duck out of the way and throw himself at the ground. He felt the heat wash over his back. His face turned from the dirt as his wand shot out in front of him, noticing that Ginny's eyes had locked on him in the time it had taken him to get out of the way and turn on his side.
"Expelliarmus!"
Only Ginny's voice could be heard, but two flashes of red light struck their targets, sending both wands high into the air. Reflexively, Harry grabbed Ginny's as it came toward him, but his own wand wound up in her hand. It felt a little odd having her wand, but somehow, deep down, he knew it was right. It wasn't the same thrum of power he got from the holly and phoenix feather, but somehow he could feel Ginny in his hand.
"Adstringo Incendium!"
Ropes of fire exploded from Harry's wand in Ginny's hand, wrapping around Harry and binding his arms to his sides and his legs together. He froze for a moment in shock, the fire burning through his robes.
So she wants to play with fire, eh? Aguamenti!
The water put the ropes out as he pushed off the ground and got to his feet, holding Ginny's wand against its owner. They both were breathing heavily, sweat smearing their foreheads and fierce determination showing in their eyes.
"Stupefy! Stupefy!" Ginny let out two stunners in quick succession, then crouched and rolled to the side. Harry waved his wand and conjured that bright silver shield, the familiar gong sounding through the pitch, though on the second spell the metal cracked slightly.
Levicorpus!
Ginny was ready and deflected his hex, still crouching and aiming her wand.
"Exoculo!"
Harry panicked and dove out of the way, his shield vanishing in his evasive action. He rolled with his momentum, coming up to face Ginny, but she'd already caught him. A nasty green-colored hex blasted him in the stomach with the force of a sledgehammer, causing him to double over for the second time in the duel. He immediately vomited, spewing slugs all over his shoes as Ginny's laugh rushed over his ears.
"Justice is served, Potter." She grinned, keeping her wand trained on him as another wave of slugs washed over him, clearly enjoying her seeming moment of advantage. Harry waited until he retched again, then waved his wand at her.
Aculeus!
She never saw it coming. Harry's curse erupted from his wand with a deadly precision, spearing her in the stomach and causing an almost unbearable stinging sensation, like she'd been stung by a gigantic insect. Harry vomited again, giving her a moment to recover and shakily point her wand at him again.
"Vespertilio Emungo!"
It probably wasn't such a nice thing to do to hit him while he was down, but he obviously wasn't out. Harry found out first hand why every Weasley feared her Bat-Bogey Hex - he suddenly had a very dry nose and enormous bats attacking his face while he belched slugs. Laughter could be heard throughout the crowd, striking something deep within Harry he thought he'd forgotten.
Imperio!
The thought was out before he could stop it. He'd felt as though he was back in primary school, with Dudley torturing him as everyone laughed around him, helpless under some sort of spell, but now he could take control. Ginny's eyes glossed over, waving her wand as she released the Bat-Bogey Hex. Harry's instincts kicked in, jabbing his wand at her through another belch of slugs.
Stupefy!
He forced her still with the Imperius as the red light lanced out at her. She was blasted off her feet, landing some fifteen feet away, hitting the grass hard and sliding against it for another foot. Hermione immediately ran over to her, as Harry stared at his wand, spacing in and out of real time as his the rest of him caught up to his actions. Another belch of slugs, and the thought passed him that nothing could punish him properly for what he'd done. Well, there was one thing, but he had to get out of...
A red light flashed in front of his eyes, and everything went black.
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His eyes snapped open to find three wands pointed at him, two of them held by redheads and that familiar brown bush also hanging over him. He had no idea where he was, other than the bed was extremely comfortable and he could smell a faint scent on the pillow that comforted him.
Immediately, he groped for his wand, but he knew it was a futile action. He did learn that he was in his own bed, and that Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were the ones with their wands trained on him. As far as he could tell, there was no one else in the room.
"Harry?"
Ginny's soft voice floated into his ears, bringing back the memories of why he was here and why he suddenly had the urge to run far away and never come back. He felt a soft hand on his cheek, and he realized one of the wands had disappeared. He brought his eyes to rest on his girlfriend, glancing at her once over to assure that she wasn't hurt before he closed his eyes, unable to look her any longer.
"Harry, please look at me."
He shook his head from side to side, refusing. He wanted to leave, to run, to get away, but the two wands pointed at him held him in place. At least with his eyes closed Hermione would have to wait until after he moved before acting - before she could just read his thoughts.
"I'm not angry with you Harry. I just don't want you to do anything stupid."
Trust Ginny to get straight to the point, and to hit the nail on the head. She was, after all, his soulmate.
"Just leave me alone."
He could almost feel her deflate next to him as she sat down on the bed. "Harry, I'm not leaving. You promised you wouldn't shut me out, and I don't trust you to be alone."
Irritation swelled within him. Why was it such a problem to leave him alone? Why couldn't he deal with this by himself, just like he'd always done? Why did she have to care so goddamn much?
"I didn't promise them." He pointed in the general direction he'd seen Ron and Hermione. He knew he was being childish, but it really didn't matter at the moment. He was surprised when he heard footsteps leading away from the bed, and then the soft sliding of the wall as it opened and closed. He could only assume that Ginny gave them a look that said Let me deal with this.
With her brother and sister-in-law gone, Ginny climbed on top of Harry and straddled his stomach, though he couldn't feel much of her through his robes. She leaned down to kiss him, capturing his unwilling lips sensually and stroking his cheek with her palm. He didn't kiss her back, but she didn't seem to care. She laid light kisses on his lips and nose, sliding her hand around to hold the back of his head and gently caress him with her nails.
"I love you."
He fought it, he really did. He fought the compulsion, the need, the desire to speak, but he couldn't. Not when she said it first.
"I love you too."
She seemed content with that, kissing the outside of his eyelids before she pulled back a little. When her lips fell again, he felt a tingling sensation on his scar, sending a soft wave of pleasure through his system. She laid three light kisses on it, the last one lingering as both of her hands laced into his hair. She kissed it once more before pulling back, her soft palm brushing his cheek once more.
"It's all right, Harry. It's over."
He shook his head. It was far from over, and what's worse, it could happen again. "I just lost control, Gin. I treated you like a Death Eater. I took it way too far."
The self-loathing was clear as day in his voice, causing Ginny's heart to break. "You did what you needed to win. Nothing more."
Harry shook his head, squirming under her but unwilling to throw her off him. "No, you don't understand. It was like being seven again, and having everyone laughing at me while I was helpless. You don't understand what I could have done to you, how I hated what you had done to me. I...I think I did it out of hatred, Ginny. I hated you."
A tear slipped from his cheek, one that Ginny quickly kissed away and moved to kiss the next one that fell on his other cheek. "You didn't hate me, Harry. Nothing I could do would make you hate me. You love me. You love me more than anything you have ever known."
Regardless of whether she believed it, she was right. Harry could detect the fear in her voice, the slight slip that showed her insecurity, but it didn't matter. She was right, and he still needed to prove it to her. Even after almost nine years of knowing each other since they were little kids, he needed to prove it to her.
"I do. I love you more than you can possibly imagine, Ginny. I just can't forgive myself for doing that to you."
She leaned down to kiss him, and this time he was a more willing participant. They shared a soft kiss before Ginny looked down at his still closed eyes. "What are you going to do, Harry? How do you think you can make this better."
He opened his eyes for the first time, and Ginny's heart nearly broke again. There was nothing of the usual fierceness, nothing of the life she so loved in them. "I can't. Nothing can ever forgive this, it's unforgivable. I used the Imperius on you, and I'm going to spend the rest of my life in Azkaban."
Her legs tightened around him, her arms wrapping around his neck as his head was pressed into her chest. It was all she could do to blink back the tears forming in her own eyes as she buried her nose in his hair.
"You're not going to Azkaban, Harry, and if you are, I'm going with you. I will not spend another moment without you."
If it had been any other time, Harry would have appreciated the face full of Ginny's chest he was getting, but even that couldn't cheer him up. His voice was muffled, but still audible.
"I'll never be able to look at you ever again, Gin." She pulled back and he shut his eyes to avoid hers. "I won't be able to tell you I love you without thinking of today."
She sighed and sat up, brushing her hair back with a hand and resisting the urge to slap him. "Harry, no one knows what happened besides the four of us. Everyone else thinks I froze and you got me with a stunner after you ended the Bat-Bogey Hex. If you think for one minute that anyone will believe you used the Imperius, you're sadly mistaken."
"I can use a memory to prove it."
"I'll obliviate you."
That drew a wide-eyed stare from her lover.
"So help me God, Harry, if you let this get between us, I'll obliviate you. Better yet, I'll let Hermione do it. She'll make sure the only thing you remember from the end of the duel is an unbelievable shagging from me."
Despite everything, Harry's lips just had to quirk upward in a very slight, almost invisible smile. "Because you need a memory charm for that to be believable."
Ginny stared down at him in shock. "We'll see where you are sleeping tonight." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking quite irritated.
"Gin, don't even go there. You know you need it more than I do."
She gaped at him, wondering if this was how to fix everything. The moment she'd started talking about shagging, Harry had dropped the subject. She reached behind her and slid her hand under his robes, finding a certain area between his legs and cupping her hand over it. She was rewarded with the predictable response, and a smirk appeared on her lips and in her eyes.
"I don't think so, Potter."
He sighed, turning his head to face the wall and avoiding her eyes again. "No, Gin...I actually don't want it right now. I don't want anything."
Ginny's hand came to turn his head, her look changing from a smirk to concern as fast as you could say Potter. His eyes showed that it was long forgotten, that he'd just jumped on the first thing that let him get away from the subject. "Harry, I don't want you punishing yourself over this. I just want you."
He shook his head. "I...I can't."
To his surprise, she didn't respond immediately. Instead, she reached for her wand, pointing it at his arms and whispering "Incarcerous."
His wrists were pulled above his head and tied to the wall there by magic. Harry knew it was futile to search for his wand, so he simply looked up at Ginny, confused.
"That spell is becoming a favorite, I suppose."
She nodded silently, resting her hands on his chest, her legs relaxing around him now that he couldn't get away. "Harry, do you know why I spent the last few months learning from Tonks and Hermione to get ready to duel you?"
He shook his head.
"It's because I want to protect you. You almost died in Hogsmeade, and there was nothing I could do for you. You were with Ron and Hermione the whole time during the war, and they watched over you and protected you. When it came time for me to do the same, I wasn't strong enough. I should have taken care of Malfoy before he even got the chance to hurt you."
Harry's eyes became bigger and bigger as she talked, and by the end, he was shaking his head. "Gin, don't...I don't want you to. What happened isn't your fault."
She put a hand over his mouth, shushing him. "Harry, you're always going to be in danger, and so will I. The only thing that will keep us safe is trusting each other and watching each other's backs. You're a hero, and there's nothing either of us can do about it. So either you can let me continue to be weak and defenseless, or you can take it as your punishment to help me and teach me to protect us. I know you don't want to, but I think its a good punishment. If I could have defended myself, none of this would have happened."
The rest of what she was saying made perfect sense, but Harry grasped the last part, absently pulling on his restraints as they kept him from grabbing her shoulders and shaking some sense into her. "This isn't your fault, Gin. Stop blaming yourself."
"I will when you do." She developed that stubborn tone that Harry knew better than to fight. He relaxed against the bed again, his wrists hanging above his head limply.
"Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"
She shook her head. "You're going to teach me everything you know, even all that Dark Magic you picked up while you were drowning yourself in firewhiskey. It's only fair because you used it on me."
That sparked a new life in his resistance. "No."
"Yes."
"No, Ginevra. I won't. Not the Dark Magic."
She didn't argue, at least not verbally. She waved her wand again, whispering as his legs were magically bound to the bottom of the bed. Sometimes having a four-poster bed wasn't such a good idea.
"Fine. I'll leave you here until you agree with me, James."
The name sent a cold shiver down his spine - she'd never used it before (and probably wouldn't again), but he instinctively knew what it meant. The use of that name was her counter to his usual way of getting her attention, and the effect was only reinforced by the memories of his father's big-headedness during school. She moved off him and stood up, looking disheveled and tired. She walked toward the exit, taking her wand with her, as well as pulling what Harry presumed to be his out of the bedside table.
"Gin...don't leave."
She turned, an Oh really? look in her eyes. "I thought you wanted to be left alone?"
Harry sighed. She was going to make this as painful as possible. "I...I don't want to be alone. I want you."
She looked as though she was going to pounce on top of him, but she held back at the last possible second. "And to prove it, you're going to teach me everything you know? Everything that might possibly help me protect us?"
He hated how she said it, how she wanted to put herself in the middle, how she wanted to undo everything he'd ever tried to protect her from. He hated how she was forcing him into this, but what he hated most of all was that he wanted it. He wanted someone to share everything with, to teach everything he couldn't share with his students, to listen when he told stories he'd been keeping from the world, and someone who would comfort him in the end.
"I will, if you teach me Occlumency."
A confused look came over her face. "You...you don't know how to shield your mind?" It had taken her only a few months to learn it, at Hermione's suggestion that Harry was a good Legilimens.
Harry shook his head. "I tried, I really did. Hermione was always amazing at it - even Voldemort himself couldn't get to her. She said my problems had something to do with my past, and how emotionally frayed I am, and how I was trying to force away feelings that would be picked up by any good Legilimens. She tried to get me to talk about it, but I wouldn't. I couldn't share everything - you saw what it was like when I was younger. I couldn't let her know something like that, especially during the war."
Ginny's gaze softened, her wand waving to release the binds as she crawled on top of him. "Of course I will. You know I'm always here for you, no matter what you need. You know I hate it when you keep things from me - this will be a good way for the both of us to get over everything."
Finally, Harry wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, causing a soft smile to work across her face. "I'm sorry, Ginny. I'm only trying to do the right thing."
She snuggled into him, planting her cheek against his chest affectionately. "I know, Harry. That's all you ever try to do, and I love you for it. I just wish you would listen to me more."
"I'll try."
She nodded, letting her eyes fall shut, exhaustion sweeping over her. Worry for Harry had spiked her system with adrenaline after she'd been revived, but the rush was wearing off and her lover's arms were so warm and comforting.
"I'll always love you, Harry. No matter what."
His hand rubbed her back gently, his voice as sleepy as her own. "I love you too, Gin. Even when I'm being a prat."
Her soft giggle was the last thing either of them heard before drifting off into a peaceful sleep together.