As I can't sleep, music is my muse. "Careless Whispers" George Michaels. "Save Me" Shinedown. And "Hurt" Johnny Cash.

Twenty:

The truth fell over the threesome like a veil of darkness. Tidus felt the mass of the it upon his back. It tore down the walls he spent years building around himself. Years and years of putting himself out there, in the world's eye; To not seem different, to not fall victim to the image of him as an abandoned orphan. He had washed up on the shores of Balamb, and was taken in by it's people. If it weren't for Rikku and Yuna, where would he have been? Lost, he would have been lost. Just as he did sitting in Rikku's room. Lost in Rikku's betrayal. He squeezed Yuna's hand in his, but in a way, he felt betrayed by her as well. They were the closest of friends; How could she not have known? And her father, Headmaster Braska, was the supposed best friend of his father; How could he have not known? He felt trapped in a web of lies. Lies told from the mouths of those he thought would protect him.

"So you send your boyfriend in here to save you?" Tidus said with his head lowered, "The guy who murdered my dad?"

Rikku hadn't cried as hard as she was in years, not since her childhood. Not since Brother zapped her with lightning and scarred her for life. This, this was the emotional equivalent. The pain that clutched her chest tight, so tight she couldn't breathe. She saw the hurt in her friend's eyes, and knew there was nothing she could say to make him feel better. No matter how many times she told him 'I didn't know!,' he wouldn't believe her. Why would he? She was in a relationship with the man that took his childhood. Auron told her what had happened, he did. He just left out a few details. He never mentioned a child in the car. He simply said it was his friend who died, nothing more. How would she have known that his friend, Jecht, had a son named Tidus, who also went missing when the car went under water? "No! I swear to you, I didn't know. I didn't!"

"Tidus, she isn't lying." Yuna said as she consoled him. She rubbed his back, and moved hair from his face. He couldn't bare to look at her and that stung. Yuna only wished to ease his pain and help him through it.

There words repeated for minutes to come: You're lying. You knew. No, I didn't know! Tidus stop! Just stop it! Fuck you! Listen to me! Fuck all of you! Tidus stormed out of Rikku's room, unable to bear another second of excuses. Yuna quickly followed after him as tears started in her eyes. Rikku couldn't move. She leaned against her wall with all her might; It took convincing to keep her legs at a stand. Her eyes, riveted to the rug beneath her feet, dropped tear after tear as she sucked in deep breaths. While she longed to be alone, Zell placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hey." He said quietly.

"Shut up." She croaked.

"Wait, I thought-"

"What?" Rikku looked up at him, pain etched on her face, "Did you think coming in here to tell him that would give you the best friend card?"

Zell withdrew his touch. It hadn't been his intention. He had awoken a new; He wanted to do right by everyone. This, this had completely turned left and out the area of his plan. "Look, it wasn't suppose to happen like this. I only found out because I tried to talk to Braska and heard him talking to someone about it."

Rikku froze as she listened to Zell.

"I wanted to apologize. To him, to you, to Auron. But I couldn't believe what I had heard, so I-"

"You thought you were doing the right thing." Rikku said, barely over a whisper.

"Yeah." He said as he stared at his hands. "I'm sorry."

"Just go." If it hadn't been as silent in her room, Zell wouldn't have heard her. But he did, and he listened. No objections. He walked out of her room and closed the door behind him. As soon as Rikku heard the click of the lock as the door shut, she dropped down to her knees. She let the tears erupt, and her cries fill the corner of her bedroom.

Auron sat behind his couch, his back pressed against the faux cover, and stared into his kitchen. It had been hours, long into the night. For once, he kept the lights on. Every light in every room. He couldn't run to the darkness, not this time. The secrets he kept inside for so many years had begun to unravel. They slipped through his fingers after he held them in his fists. The spilled from the empty bottle of vodka at his feet. He looked at that bottle, picked it up in his hand, and stared inside; No, it was empty. He couldn't harbor his lies within that bottle anymore.

He sat there in that spot for hours. He thought of Tidus' face. He was so angry, hurt. It had been a long time since he saw tears like the ones he cried. The last person who bore those tears - besides himself - was Tidus' very own mother. Mileena had cried endlessly for days. Auron tried to console her, but she wanted nothing to do with him. She blamed him. She blamed herself. She placed the blame on anyone and everything that moved; Until the day she herself didn't move. There, there was the day Auron cried so loud that Yu-Yevon himself prayed for him. To find something you loved and cared for dead, hanging from her linen closet, was a sight no one could erase from their minds. No matter how many bottles he drank. No matter how many drunken fits he gave into. He, himself, was broken.

...Was. "Rikku." He said as he rubbed his face hard with his fingers. The pain ebbed as he did. But he couldn't remove her face. Up until recently, he had been broken. Alone. Drowning in the alcohol he drank throughout the hours of the day. Then, there was Rikku. The brightest student who had faith in his class. Her smile brought light into a room, even when he wanted it to be dark. She saw him for who he was, and not for who he became. And now, she knew his past. She knew what brought on his alcoholic storm. Why he would have been unemployed by the end of the year. It was because of Tidus and Jecht. It was because of Mileena. It was because that one night.

He tossed the bottle in his hand and watched it crash against his kitchen floor. The glass shattered into pieces, both large and small; Some slid close to his feet. He kicked at them with his bare toes, but stopped when he heard the sound of his front door open. He hadn't locked it.

"Auron." It was Rikku's voice. He shot up with all the energy he had and turned to look at the small, young woman who bore his heart. Her face was red and puffy. Her eyes were glistening with their green swirls. Her hair, which was normally down, was up in a messy, wet braid. Wet? It hadn't hit him it was raining. Auron's eyes went wide as it hit him further; She fought the storm to get to him.

"Rikku." He said as he rushed to close the door behind her. There, he heard the thunder, but she didn't move. She didn't cower. She stood in one spot, clutching her drenched sweater to her arms as she shivered from the cold. Auron rushed for blankets and wrapped her in them. He cupped her face in his hands; He wanted to smile at her, but couldn't. "Rikku." was all he could say.

"You lied to me." She whispered. She searched his eyes with her own.

"I didn't." Auron said quietly, but knew it was time. "I just didn't say everything."

"Jecht was Tidus' dad?" Rikku shook her head, "All that time I talked about Tidus and you never, not once, said something."

"How could I have known it was the same Tidus?"

Rikku shook her head as she rubbed her eyes with the blankets wrapped around her. If Auron listened carefully, he could have heard her heart break. "He blames me." She said, "You don't know what kind of life he had. Do you know how many families he lived with on one island? Do you know how it feels to move into your neighbors house, and have to look at your old bedroom through another window?"

Auron took a step back. No, he didn't.

"This was Tidus' life, you know. And we weren't always there. I was at Home, and Yuna was here. When we went to visit was when he was happy. Other than that, he was alone. And now, I think I've lost one of my best friends."

"I could talk to him. I could tell him-"

"Don't. My Uncle is doing that now."

"Oh." Auron sat back against his couch. The pain returned, and he rubbed his temple. He regretted the entire bottle of Vodka, and the bottle of rum he left in the bathroom.

"I asked you before to tell me everything. So you wouldn't lie to me. And, you didn't."

"How could I tell you that not only did my best friend died, but I lost his son at sea?"

Rikku didn't say a word. She looked at Auron and his saddened face. She saw the tears in his eyes.

"I had him in my hands. I pulled him from the car seat. I pulled him away from the sinking car but once I reached the top, and the storm hit my face, I lost him. I can't remember how I lost him, but I did." Auron stared at his fingers as he imagined young Tidus in his arms. If he had only kept a stronger grip, he could've saved him from the life he lived in Besaid.

"But how?" Rikku asked, "You told me you were drinking then, right? But Zell said-"

"Zell said?" Auron blinked.

"-said that you had no alcohol in your system."

Zell. Zell was the reason they all knew. He gritted his teeth, but thought he would ask later. Another day maybe. But now, now was time to come clean. "Braska." he said.

"What?" Rikku shook her head, confused.

"The blood work they received was Braska's, not mine. We're the same blood type, so no one knew. He did it, so I wouldn't be prosecuted. I didn't call the police first. I called him." He thought back to the night, and Braska telling him everything would be alright. That he would take care of everything. And he did, until he couldn't.

"So everyone was in on this whole lie."

"It wasn't a lie!" Auron rushed to hold Rikku. He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. "It was all an accident. He was trying to protect me, but we did all we could. We couldn't reach Jecht in time. We held a search party for two weeks, but never found Tidus. I've killed myself, over and over, every day since then. Everyday, until I met you."

Rikku stepped away from him, even as his fingers gripped her shoulders. "Me?"

"Yes." Auron said as he tried to pull her back. She wouldn't move, her feet planted to the floor. So instead, he balled his hands into fists and kept them at his side, "I had my termination letter in my hand. I was on the verge of being fired. And then, there was you. The only student to ever take an interest in my class. You, and that bright smile of yours, gave me a reason to keep going. I knew that the second I met you-"

"Stop." Rikku whispered.

"No." He moved to lift her chin, "You're my reason. You're the reason why I'm still here. Can't you see? This was all supposed to happen! I can make it all right. I can fix all of this. Just believe me!" When Rikku didn't say a word, he stared into her green eyes pleadingly, "Please."

"I can't say that I don't love you. But you don't understand-"

"I do." He whispered as he inched forward, "I understand all of your pain. Believe me."

"I just want to sleep." Rikku said as she walked away from him, leaving him where he stood. She didn't turn to leave; He knew she couldn't face the storm again. Instead, she walked towards his bedroom, "Is it alright?" She asked as tears formed in her eyes.

What could he say? He simply nodded, motioning her to walk into his room. But before she could close the door, he lifted his head and said, "I love you. I'll make this right."

She didn't respond. There was a weak smile on her face, but it was masked with the dark shadows of his room. As she shut the door, Auron pulled at his hair. He would let the night cool over. He would address it all in the morning. Address it with all the facts and all the truths. If the Department came knocking at his door, he'd answer to them as well. It was time to put everything back in it's place. For everyone's sake.

His hand itched for a drink. Without thinking, he turned for his kitchen. He thought of the last bottle that sat in his top cabinet. What he didn't think of was the glass on the floor. He stepped on a shard and slipped as he tried to jump back. Auron felt additional pieces slam into his back. He heard his head crack as he hit the floor. He couldn't recall if he made a sound, but his eye shut instantly. Somewhere within the darkness and pain, he thought he heard Rikku's voice.

Auron!