A/N: Wow…and wow…thanks for all the reviews guys! I don't know how else to thank you all…so here's a new chapter! Enjoy!
The Missing Half
Chapter 21 – Me Without You
(Buffy's POV)
This absolutely cannot be happening. It really can't.
The high pitched wail of my girlfriend's life flat lining tells me it is.
I can't comprehend any thought. Nothing. Except that I love her. And she's leaving me. Everything is fading in and out around me. The already drab walls are turning grayer and the room is slightly spinning. A vice like grip on my heart hurts with every breath I take.
My girlfriend. Dead. No.
I picture Faith's bright eyes. Her smile that reaches into my soul. Her deep throated chuckle that gives me chills. Her heart shaped, full lips. The little dimples in her cheeks. Her touch, thoughtful and tender. Her kiss. The one that makes me want to live a thousand lives with her, and never one without her.
Faith. The only thing on my mind right now.
The room spins faster and I feel myself fall to my knees in shock and disbelief. Unable to hold myself upright, unable to breathe, unable to blink.
A single tear makes its way down my cheek.
I love you Faith. I wish I could have told you one last time. I wish I could have kissed you one last time. I wish I could have just held you in my arms as you slept in my bed. I wish we could be together, living the life you deserve. I wish a thousand things, but my wishes are all wasted.
My wishes can't help the dead.
My eyes close suddenly, the shock of losing my one true love setting in.
My vision fades away.
(No One's POV)
The scene held before the waiting room was one of absolute despair.
In a room closed off, the sounds of scuttling feet and rushed, worried directions from doctors can be heard. Along with the monotonous screech representing a heart no longer beating.
A lone blonde woman stands in the middle of the room. Just standing there. Not moving, not making a sound. A look of absolute shock and sadness is stretched across her face, her mouth hanging slightly agape, her eyes wide and unblinking.
The blonde falls to her knees, and continues to stare at the room holding her beloved.
The wail of the heart monitor continues, and the woman pitches forward, darkness finally claiming her weary heartbroken body.
A nurse appears from around the corner and jumps slightly when he sees the blonde girl lying on the ground. She moves over to her and checks for a pulse. It's still there, strong and very much alive. She's also breathing regularly. She seems to be fine.
The nurse lifts her head and acknowledges the noise coming form the trauma room. She looks again at the petite woman on the floor and back at the room. Understanding sweeps through the nurse's body and sadness courses through her veins.
'Poor girl,' She thought to herself. 'It must be horrible losing someone you love.' The nurse called over a doctor and he helped her carry the young woman into an empty recovery room. There they placed her on a small bed.
When they walked back into the waiting room, they realized it had become silent. Little noise could be heard from the patient's room that was previously filled with beeps and yelling.
The nurse could only imagine that the person inhabiting that room must be gone. She willed herself to leave the area, not wanting to subject herself to any more sadness.
But curiosity got the better of her. She slowly crept into the trauma room and the scene in front of her made her heart catch in her throat.
A brunette girl lay on a gurney, blankets piled on top of her body. Cuts and bruises marred her skin, and her hand was horribly broken.
The object of the passed out blonde's affection was beautiful, even as damaged as she was. What a shame it was…
Wait. Her chest, it's rising and falling, she's breathing…
But wasn't she just…?
A quick glance at the heart monitor showed a steady heart beat. Strong and there. So very there.
The nurse looked at one of the doctors in confusion. The doctor's eyes caught the nurses' and he opened his mouth with an explanation.
"This girl was brought in here about fifteen minutes ago. Hypothermic, beaten, terribly injured. About five minutes into warming her up, her heart stopped. And we all thought she was done for. But the girl must be a fighter. She must want to hold on for something, because against all odds she pulled through," the doctor explained.
The nurse couldn't help but smile at the thought of the blonde girl who would not have to lose someone she so clearly loved. "Will she…recover?"
"As far as we can tell, she has no other life-threatening injuries. A few broken ribs, none of which perforated the lung. Her hand is broken in a few places, but it will heal. She needs stitches, but we are waiting until she warms up a bit more before we do anything else. Don't wanna risk it."
"Good work Doctor. I hope you know what you've given back to the both of them. In the waiting room, a blonde girl, presumably the one who brought her here, fainted in shock…she won't have to lose this woman now, thanks to you."
"It's what I do," the doctor calmly responded. "Can you go back to the waiting room to see if any more family arrives?"
"Of course," the nurse replied. She walked out of the room back into the waiting room just in time to see a middle-aged man clad in tweed and wire rimmed glasses walk in.
(Giles POV)
I got here as quickly as I could. I don't know if it's soon enough. Soon enough to be here for my first slayer, to comfort her. Soon enough to see my second, but by no means lesser slayer one last time before she is…
I can't bring myself to think about it. What would happen to Buffy if her newfound partner died. What I would do if she died.
I refuse to accept the reality of losing someone else who meant something to our family. Even if she wasn't truly close to all of us yet, she would have been. With time, the others would accept her for the new Faith.
I walked up the steps of the hospital and made my way into the building and up to the first nurse I saw. She looked as though she were expecting me.
"Excuse me, miss. I was wondering if you could tell me the condition of a brunette girl, late teens-ish, brown eyes, about this tall?" I asked, indicating her height with my hand.
The nurse nodded. "She's over here, in this room," she replied, then patted my shoulder and walked towards a room close-by. But I couldn't walk. Not until I knew…
"Nurse? Is she…is she..." I can't complete my sentence, so scared for the answer, but needing to know.
"No," It's amazing how one word can carry so much meaning, so much relief. "She's in for a rough one, but she'll make it through. Would you like to see her now?" she asked softly.
"Yes, please, I would." I take a deep breath and brace myself for what I might see, Buffy said it was bad…
I walked tentatively into the room and my eyes locked on Faith's body, completely covered by a pile of blankets, the only visible thing was her face. Her bruised and cut face.
I can't help but feel like I've let her down. Like I let her get hurt. She's partly my responsibility. My slayer.
The nurse appears at my side once again and slowly leads me from the room.
"The doctors need to send her in for some tests and clean her up now. It might be a while until you are able to see her. But there was a blonde girl…a little older than she was. Do you know her?"
"Yes I believe that's Buffy. She was the one who called me about Faith—the brunette's—condition. Would you mind taking me to her?"
"Not at all. She umm…kinda passed out a little bit ago, she's probably still asleep."
"Dear lord, is she ok?" What happened to Buffy?
"Oh don't worry! She's fine, just exhausted we think." With that, the nurse led me to a recovery room where Buffy lay on a small white cot, curled into a ball.
"Thank you ma'am." The nurse nods her head and exits the room.
Oh my. My heart is breaking once more at the sight of my surrogate daughter, the girl I watched turn into a woman in the years I've known her. Her eyebrows are furrowed, as if she can't escape her devastation, even in her sleep.
But what really kills me is the slight whimpering coming from her tight lips. It's such a pitiful sound, as if she's crying in her dreams.
Buffy. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You don't deserve this. You deserve a normal life.
For the first time in a long while, tears form in my eyes. Tears of defeat.
These people who do so much good. Who save the world almost everyday unbeknownst to the people around them. These people…Buffy, Xander, Willow, Dawn, Faith…they've lost so much. Love, friendship, innocence…
I wish it could stop.
I need to wake Buffy up, tell her that Faith is alive…
Whatever I can do to dull the pain.
(Buffy's POV)
Faith. Gone.
Even in my dreams, I see her unmoving body beneath the rocks, her shivering frame so weak, her dark hair contrasting strangely with the white snow and her pale complexion. Blood…
I can see her slow moving chest, rising and falling with difficulty. Her eyes fluttering closed, lacking the strength to keep them open…
And it's all tearing me apart.
Faith. Why did you have to leave me? You can't just come back here, work your way into my heart, and rip it out like you did.
The scene around me changes and I see myself curled up on a cot in a hospital room. Faith is sitting next to me, holding my hand in hers. She's gently rubbing circles in my back and whispering soothing words into my ears.
She leans over slowly, and kisses my trembling lips. "B, it's ok." She whispers.
Ok? OK! It is not ok. You're dead. I wanna scream at her, yell and make her realize what she's done to me. How she took my soul, tore it in half and stepped all over it. Even if she didn't mean to.
But all I manage to do is quietly squeak, letting out a disbelieving, "Faith?"
She squeezes my hand. "Yeah B, it's me."
"But…but…you're…" I can't seem to say it.
"Not yet B, I'll never leave you."
How can she say that? She did! She's lying dead on a hospital bed, she left me.
"But Faith…"
"I'll always be right here," she points at my heart, "You need to wake up B."
"But I don't want to say goodbye," I whisper. A lone tear makes its way down my face.
"You don't have to…open your eyes."
Her body shimmers away.
I open my eyes.
I feel a hand clasped gently around mine.
My heart skips a beat…is it? Is it her?
"F-Faith?" I stutter out.
A weary sigh floats to me ears and I look up to see the emotion filled face of…
Giles.
"Buffy, love, are you ok?" His eyes are so full of concern.
"Am I ok? AM I OK! Giles, the woman I love just died for God's sake! I am by no means ok. I don't know if I ever will be…" I explode.
"Buffy…she's—"
"She's what…in a better place? I keep telling myself that, but the selfish part in me wishes that the better place was right here with me!"
My voice cracks and I break down, sobbing uncontrollably. Giles immediately wraps his arms around me and I let him pull me in close. I rest my head on his shoulder, my sobs the only thing I can hear.
I cry like that for a good ten minutes. It takes me a while to realize that Giles has been trying to tell me something over my sobs. But I keep quieting him and continue to bawl.
Finally he pushes me away gently, grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes.
"Buffy. Listen to me now. If you would just let me talk, you might feel a little better." What could he possibly have to tell me that could make me feel better? He takes a deep breath and continues. "Buffy, Faith is not dead."
"Oh stop it Giles! I'm don't want to hear about how she will always be with me! She's gone!"
"Buffy!" He nearly shouts. "Buffy, she is still alive, in your heart, and in person. Yes she did die, but after you…passed out…her heart started again."
What? And another big freakin' WHAT!
I sniffle a little. "Really?"
"Yes Buffy, I have been trying to tell you that but you wouldn't let me!" he let's out an exasperated sigh.
"So, she's not dead?"
"That's what I said Buffy."
I can't believe it. I am so confused…her heart stopped. But she's alive.
SHE'S ALIVE!
"Giles, she's alive!" I squeal. I hug him ferociously until he grunts strangely.
"Buffy, as much as I'm happy for you, the hug…stop…strength." He gasps out.
"Sorry Giles…just got a little over-excited."
"It's perfectly understandable Buffy."
"Can I see her?" I anxiously ask.
"Not yet Buffy, the doctors haven't really patched her up yet. She's got a lot of healing to do…"
"But she'll be ok?" I ask in the meekest voice that I've heard myself use in a while.
"I sincerely believe she will," Giles responds.
"Thank you," I whisper. What would I do without him?
Before my mind drifts off again, I hear the familiar pitter patter of Dawn's feet. She comes rushing into the room and immediately runs up to me and wraps me in a hug.
I hear her crying faintly. "Buffy…is she…dead?"
"No Dawnie…she's alive." I can feel the breath rush from my sister's lungs in relief.
"Good," is her simple response. We continue to hold onto each other, both utterly grateful that the newest member of our family wasn't taken away from us.
I go out into the waiting room and see Xander, Willow, Tara, and Anya already there.
They stand up and we all hug each other, not saying a word, just being there.
(Xander's POV)
So. Faith nearly died. Figures she'd pull a stunt like that…
She got everyone all worried…made us all pace around without knowing what we could do to help…
Faith. So what do I think about her? I don't even know. Since she's returned she's saved Buffy and Dawn's life. I guess that means I should trust her.
It might take a while, but I think it's time I give her a chance.
I just hope this chance doesn't end up with me sporting a shiny new broken neck.
(Willow's POV)
My fault. I caused this. My inability to accept her. To accept that her and Buffy are in love. My inability to accept that Faith might get to experience love, love like what Tara and I share.
My inability to accept absolutely anything about Faith and the fact that she might have actually changed landed her in the hospital. It killed her.
What I wouldn't give to just take it all back…
(Buffy's POV)
We've all been sitting her silently, for at least an hour and a half, anxiously waiting to hear about Faith.
I need to hear that she's going to be ok.
I need to see her.
A doctor walks briskly up to us and I jump to my feet.
"Doctor? How is she?" I impatiently ask him.
"Well, we've set all her bones, stitched her up where she needed it, and sent her in to have a CT scan. She had a few minor head injuries that we fear produced some swelling, but she should be ok. You can see her now if you'd like," he offers.
I shake my head excitedly and follow him towards the recovery rooms down a hall and around a corner. My heart is beating relentlessly as we come closer to her room. The doctor stops in front of a door and opens it to let me through.
"I'll give you some time."
"Thanks doctor…for everything," I say as genuinely as I can.
He tips his head my way and leaves, closing the door behind him.
I walk further into the room and my heart seems to skip a beat when she comes into view. Her skin has returned to close to its normal color. Her lips, once blue, are now a cheerful red. A butterfly-bandaged cut above her brow reminds me that she's not really ok. That she's hurt. A quick sweep of the visible parts of her body produce a small sob to escape my lips.
An irritated cut on her cheek is surrounded by a small amount of swelling. Her bottom lip is split and her jaw is bruised. The area from her temple to her ear is a deep purple and her neck has small scratches on the side.
I can only imagine what the extent of her injuries under the bed sheets looks like.
I grab her hand, the one not in a plaster cast, and rub her bruised knuckles gently.
I want to help her, talk to her…
So I sing.
I sing softly into her ear, brushing my lips against her broken skin.
"I'll take care of you / Have faith that when you call my name / I'll be there"My dream comes back to me, Faith telling me she was ok…how could I have believed she was dead?
"It was a straight-faced lie I believed / It was a straight-faced lie you would ever leave me / So for now I'll keep believing your words / Soon enough my strength will return"
I'll be ok when she opens her eyes. I'll be ok when I can tell her I love her.
"So keep breathing on / Keep that sweet heart of yours beating / And I'll be there / I'll be right there"
If she just wakes up, she'll know I won't ever leave her.
"Let me draw the blinds for you / You can watch the sunset from the bed / In your hospital room / Until you're sleeping / And I'm sure that I don't understand / How I found a love so pure"
I couldn't possibly leave her. If today proved anything, it's that I'm nothing without her.
"Let me hold you here until all the pain is gone"I bow my head slightly, lost in my love for her.
(Faith's POV)
I'm lost. I have no clue where the Hell I am.
But something is calling for me. A soothing voice, singing softly. A voice I know I should recognize but can't quite place.
The words the voice is singing reach my ears and I feel elated with the joy they bring.
Slowly, I make my way back to conscious world.
(Buffy's POV)
The sound of the door opening jolted me back to reality.
It was the doctor.
"Buffy? I believe there's been a complication—"
But before he can continue, Faith stirs slightly in her bed. All my attention is diverted to her.
Please wake up baby, I need you.
Faith's eyes fluttered open and revealed her deep brown orbs that I feared I would never see again.
"Faith?" I whisper lovingly, tears clouding my vision.
She looks up at me, her eyes adjusting to her surroundings.
"Faith?" I question again. "Faith, baby, how do you feel?"
OK stupid question…but it's about all I can think of right now. I'm just so…happy.
Faith takes a moment to respond, confusion sweeping across her face, "Ummm ok I guess…except for the fact that I feel like I just went twelve rounds with a four time heavyweight champion," she pauses for a moment, then continues. "By the way…who the Hell are you!"
A/N: Same drill as the last chapter. Wanna know what happens? Feed me lovely reviews. Thanks ;)