A/N: Sorry no editing.

Chapter Twenty-One

Even the Wicked Cry

Erik's POV

Life has proven over and over to me that taking anything for granted is a mistake. How terrible to live such an idealistic life only to lose it all in one fell swoop. Better to never have enjoyed a moment of happiness if without warning it can be ripped away leaving you with nothing.

For once in my life although things look bleak I am not to stand alone braving life's harsh blows. Three women fussing over me in earlier years would have seemed like being transported to heaven. Nothing matters as long as Helene turns away from me shutting me out at a time when we need one another just as Eileen predicted.

For the last three days Helene has been locked inside her room. We did not foresee her leaving her sickbed to lock us out. No sound comes from within for the first two days, just dreadful silence.

Everyone advices me against breaking down the door at the moment. Weeping can be heard so we know there is still life behind that mahogany door. For every tear my beloved weeps I shed two. Fighting off morass feelings is hard but how can one not see a light amidst the darkness with four people constantly holding your hand, kissing your cheek or regaling you with hopeful outcomes to the current situation.

Raoul only made the concession to sit with me or replace the water in my jug when I too took to my bed. He has even gone so far as to bring me sustenance. Little holds interest for me. Antoinette berates me for not making more effort to see the positive side of things still left to me. To that end the woman takes up her former career of bossing underlings around in order to put the house to rights from top to bottom. Only her assurances how pleased Helene will be once she returns to her senses, forces me from my bed.

During the daylight hours I spend pent-up energy hauling furniture out to be cleaned and mended when needed. The women clean the inside while Raoul and I use our muscle wielding piece after piece outside. We grumble when we are ordered to beat the dust out of rugs. The cloud of dust cannot be good for my throat. I plan to woe Helene with song all night every night if need be until she returns to me.

During one of our intermittent coughing spells Raoul hesitantly offers me his opinion on Helene's state of mind.

"Erik, it is not my custom to interfere unless requested to do so but this is a matter that has gone on too long. Helene is hiding from what her mind cannot deal with now. Antoinette and I have spoken of this current situation and feel in order to make any further progress we must force the issue. To that end the women will be taking a tray up this evening and sit outside the door all night if need be. No one refuses Antoinette anything she sets her mind on having. Look how long she kept you beneath the opera house," Raoul ends with a slight joke of sorts. In a way Antoinette did keep me tethered to my former home. I could have found similar lodgings anywhere in the world if I had chosen to do so no matter how I permitted myself to believe myself tied by the ugliness of my face. I am ugly no matter what place I occupy. For a moment I am certain I hear Eileen's voice chastising me. I smile for the rest of the day.

Antoinette pulls me aside when the others declare they cannot move another muscle without taking a few minutes to recoup. I would much rather keep working. Left with too much time to think I may take matters into my own hands by breaking down Helene's door.

Closing the door behind her Antoinette turns to me giving me one of her most stern, fixed and hard eyed stares. Only for a miniscule moment does it bring forth the urge to fidget like a small boy under his mother's chastising eye.

Then one of her warm smiles spreads across her lips as she softly says, "Erik, I know how you are feeling and know what thoughts are in your mind. I am proud of your forbearance during this difficult time. Helene needed time alone and you gave her that."

Praise, for my behavior, from one of the sternest women I know? For a brief second I await a lightening bolt to strike m unworthy carcass. I am left whole and unscathed. How different my life is now.

"We have all given Helene her space but this standoff has gone on too long. It is unhealthy to lock herself away in this fashion. I will speak with her tonight just before dinner. My guess is she has not bathed since locking herself in. I will not give her the option to refuse. If I have to force her to rejoin the living then I shall do so but with kid-gloves. Tonight Erik, I instruct you to make yourself presentable. Then we shall see how things go from there. Is that something you think you can do?"

For Helene I can and will do anything. Without her there is no reason for me to be. Without her love I will wither and die.

"Do this Antoinette and I shall forever be in your debt. I…I cannot live without her. Make her see that. Make her see that together we can withstand whatever life puts in our path," nearly choking at the end on my emotions I turn away. Wisely Antoinette understands why I must turn away. I do manage to keep from sobbing aloud but I am certain she did not miss the shimmer of my tears ready to spill over as my emotions overwhelm me.

With quick steps I take the stairs two at a time. Days of dirt from my labors must be washed away. Tonight I will once again be the proper gentleman Eileen taught me to be. Not only will I look the part but I shall act the part as well.

Since most of my things were left behind there is little left worth being thought a gentleman's attire.

Once more Raoul comes to my aid. I am sure Christine has much to do with his generosity. A few alterations later no one would guess I wear borrowed goods. I must say it feels rather good to have the last few days growth removed from my face. Many times over the years I thought of growing a beard but now I know I do not care to look so scruffy. Some men can carry a beard well, I am not one of those. I prefer smooth skin, especially if I am aloud to get close to Helene again. I craver her touch, her lips on mine. Although I miss intimacy, it is not so important that I will rush my darling Helene into anything. At the moment her mind is far too fragile for that much emotion.

It feels wonderful to be clean again. I did not realize how I missed such frivolous things. Trying to stay alive, while being in charge of two precious women, leaves no time for vanity. Eileen's illness held all our focus as her health deteriorated.

Many prayers later I am ready to face my future or my ruin. For once I feel almost confident of the outcome. A wave of peace overcomes me and I know Eileen has given her blessing to me from beyond the grave.