A/N: GAH!!! I love how the last chapter got the right suspenseful effect on so many of you! You. Guys. ROCK!!!

Okay, so only 2 more chapters + an epilogue left after this! Remember that after I post the last chapter (which shall be in two days, ah!) I will be putting up a poll so YOU can decide what scenario I should write for the epilogue. Yeah, yeah. I know I'm generous. Anyway, here's another suspenseful chapter! PROMISE ME YOU WON'T KILL ME AFTER THIS!!!

On with Chapter TWENTY ONE!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing… except for Phil's totally badass side!

I definitely wasn't that. My eyes widened and my blood started pumping in my ears as I read the text.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

You're not watching me,

But I'm watching you…

Right. Now.

See you soon, Bella.

That's when everything went black.

Chapter 21: I'll Keep your Memory Vague

"Bella? Bella!"

Someone was calling my name, I was sure, but the words were so clouded and fuzzy, I felt I was listening to them through a pillow.

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

Shaking. Being lifted. Floating. Honey scent…

Wait… I knew that scent…

"Ed-Edward?" I said breathlessly, my eyes fluttering open. I lifted my head to look up at him but a sharp pain stopped me.

"Ow…" I groaned. Edward, who was carrying me, gently laid me down on my bed. I looked into his eyes to find them swimming with relief but also full of worry, concern, and curiousity. I rubbed the back of my head to find a small lump there. I winced as my fingers grazed the sensitive area. Edward gently removed my hand from my head and gripped it in his own.

"Oh, Bella…" he whispered, relief and concerned both laced his words. He gently kissed my forehead. My eyebrows furrowed, trying to straighten out my muddled thoughts. What the hell happened?

"Ugh… How come my head kills?" I said, closing my eyes and leaning back on my pillows.

"You must have hit it when you fell. Bella, when I came in, you were unconscious on the floor. Did you faint?" Edward asked, the fingers of his free hand gently stroked my cheek. Did I faint? I must have… Everything was so blurry. Why couldn't I remember fainting?

"Um, I think so. I mean, how else would I have ended up on the ground?" I said lightly. No need to worry him.

"What made you faint, love? Do you remember?" I felt like he the psychiatrist and I was the patient.

What did make me faint? I skimmed through everything that had happened today. As fuzzy as the memories were, my head was starting to clear up a little more with every breath I took. Woke up, ate breakfast, went to class, got out of class, came here, checked email…

Checked email.

Oh my God, my email!

I shot up so fast I almost hit Edward who was hovering over me. I started to tremble violently remembering the email. It was from an unknown sender but I knew better. There was only one person who could've possibly sent me such a thing. I shuddered and felt Edward gather me up in his arms.

"Bella?! What's wrong?!" he asked frantically, worried over my sudden change in stance.

I couldn't answer, not verbally anyway, so I just pointed one shaky finger towards my computer screen. Of course, no one had done anything to it since I fainted, so the email was still open on the screen. Edward looked at me, a little puzzled, before walking over to the computer and taking a look at whatever was freaking me out.

His eyes scanned the note Phil sent me and widened. He looked at me, then back at the email, then back at me, as if asking for confirmation. I could only nod.

"Bella, is this…?" he was quite surprised himself. I nodded again and put my face in my hands. He found me. Phil found me. And now… and now he was… I couldn't even comprehend what he was going to do next.

"Bella, it's okay. Everything will be alright, I swear it."

I'm sure Edward meant for it to be a comfort, but it had the opposite effect on me.

Everything was NOT going to be okay. Phil knew where I was now, and if the email was true, he had been watching me. He could have been watching me right this very moment! I started shaking again, my breathing becoming panicky as I realized he could very well be in the shadows, watching me. Was he looking through the window? The peep hole through the door? Was he… was he watching me from inside this very room?!

These panic-stricken thoughts filled my mind and I desperately tried to shoo them away. I had to be calm, I had to think clearly to figure out what to do next, but my mind wouldn't let me. My body wouldn't let me. The hairs on my arms and neck stood up, adrenaline pumped through my veins, my heart thudding in my chest as if it were trying to escape.

I couldn't do this. Phil was cruel and ruthless. He wouldn't stop until he did what he came to do. I knew what he came to do. But… I thought he said that if I didn't tell anyone, I wouldn't die. Did he find out I told Edward? He couldn't have. Edward and I hadn't spoken one word about Phil since that day Edward found out himself over three weeks ago. Impossible.

But… this was it. I wouldn't make it out of this unscathed, or maybe even alive. I gripped my head with my hands as I bent my knees, curling myself into a pathetic ball, rocking back and forth. Just when I get Edward and all my friends back, I lose them. Just like that. Phil always got what he wanted. And this was it.

I felt Edward arms encircle me and his hands gently wiping tears I never even knew had fallen, from my face. He held me close to his chest as he whispered soothing words in my ear.

But it wasn't working. I couldn't be comforted.

Through all these jumbled thoughts and feelings coursing through me, there was only one thing I could understand. Only one thing that got through to me clearly.

Edward.

He was in just as much danger as I was. This was bad. This was worse than bad. This was… I started sobbing harder.

There was one thing I was sure of, and that was that I had to protect Edward. I had to protect him and Alice and Emmett and Jasper and Rose. I had to protect Charlie. They were the most important people in my life and I would die myself if anything happened to any one of them.

But the fact that they were even in my life was the entire reason they were in danger.

It was all my fault. I should have transferred out of this place as soon as I discovered the Cullens were here. I should have known we were going to get close again. I should have known better. Why hadn't I listened to the little nagging voice in the back of my mind?

I knew that there was no way to fully fix this mistake. I knew that if the tables were turned, Edward and everyone else would do the same thing. In the huge gist of things, this act I knew I had to do next was so simple and straightforward, yet at the same time, it was so, so hard.

Absorbing every single ounce of strength I had left in me, I put my hands on Edward's chest and pushed him away. Of course I wasn't physically strong enough to do this, but Edward knew what I was trying to do and reluctantly let go of me, confusion and hurt written all over his face. (Sorry for the interruption, but this is where you should start listening to the song I named this chapter after: "I'll Keep your Memory Vague" by Finger Eleven.)

"Bella…" I cut him off.

"Edward… this has got to stop," I choked out.

"Bella, what are you talking about-" I held up a finger.

"Let me talk," I took in a shaky breath. My strength was quickly escaping me and I needed to do it now or I would never have the resolve to. "I haven't tried as hard as I should have… to keep you away from me. I guess I just never wanted to come between us… I…"

"Bella, no!" Edward almost yelled. He reached for me again, but I slipped off the bed and stood up, away from him. It was killing me to do this to him, to myself. I could feel my heart being ripped apart inside of me. Who knew it could hurt this much?

I shook my head as he stood up too and took a step towards me. "Edward, stop. You aren't m-making this any easier!" I said, harsher than I intended. But this was good. Anger was good. It was so much easier to feel anger than heart break.

"Edward, it ends here."

"No! Just because of-"

"Just because of what, Edward?! Just because a psychopath has me next on his hit list? Is it just because of that?!" I was actually fuming now. Call me bi-polar, but I couldn't stand how he was taking this so lightly! Lives were at stake here!

"Bella, you know that's not what I meant!"

"I don't care what you meant, Edward. It. Ends. Here," my voice broke and there went the anger, "It's not only you. God, it's not only you. I can't have you or Alice, or Rose, or anyone hurt! Please be reasonable," I pleaded, "I wouldn't be able to stand it if anything happens to you. Something will happen to you if we keep going on like this!"

"And I wouldn't be able to live on if something happens to you! What if the tables were turned, Bella? Would you stay away, stand aside, as I unnecessarily risk my life?"

"Well, what if the tables were turned? Would you let me stay with you even though it puts me in unbelievable danger?! Would you?!" Edward stayed silent. "I thought so," I said bitterly. "Don't you ever use the 'tables turned' card on me, Edward, for it can be just as effective on you, and don't you ever say this is unnecessary."

"Bella, please don't do this. I'm saying everything will be alright because it will! I can protect you!"

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"I can protect myself too."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"I'm not."

I shook my head. "Edward," tears were rolling down my cheeks leaving salty streaks. "It's over. It isn't safe. I'm going to transfer schools as soon as possible to get out of here. I know this sounds so high school, but… I'm leaving you Edward. Breaking up with you."

"No! NO! Bella, no! You are NOT leaving me and there is no way in hell I am leaving you!"

"Edward, not everyone gets a fairytale ending. Phil might as well take out just one person instead of more."

"I'd rather Phil kill me too instead of just you!"

"That's not what I want."

"Bella, please! You can't leave me! You are not going to! I won't let you!" Edward gripped my face in his hands, his eyes were frantic and panicky. I knew how he felt. I was dying on the inside, as corny as that sounded. I knew that if I left Edward, not only would it keep him safer, but it would devoid me of any feeling. It's so much easier to die if you feel nothing.

It had to end now.

I ripped his hands away from my face and took a few steps back. A knife stabbing my heart with every step I took.

"You won't let me?" I said, my voice emotionless. Maybe if I showed him this wasn't hurting me as much, he would back away. Probably not, but worth a try. "I don't remember needing you to let me do anything."

"Bella-"

"Edward, it's over."

"What about all the memories? You can't just forget them! Didn't the past three weeks mean anything to you?! Did our entire lives mean anything to you?! Do I mean anything to you?"

I let go of my emotionless state then and let the anger and fury over take me. I couldn't believe he was saying that! That was low, and he knew it.

"Do you honestly think that all this time between us meant nothing to me?!" I shouted, "That you mean nothing to me?! Honestly Edward, for someone so smart you can really be stupid! If you meant nothing to me, I wouldn't be breaking up with you! It's because you mean so much to me that I'm letting you go!"

"You can't just forget a lifetime of memories."

I won't forget," I whispered breathlessly, "I'd never forget. I'll just… suppress them somehow. I'll keep them subdued. Don't feel bad about me, Edward, because I won't forget, I'll just keep them, and you, away… vague."

"Bella, you can't…" his voice turned pleading and I had to shut my eyes. I couldn't stand to look at him. It hurt too much.

"Edward, don't make this any harder than it already is," I begged. He wasn't listening.

I opened my eyes to see him, his eyes and cheeks wet with his own tears. He was crying.

"Bella, you may think you can push away all of this," he pointed between us, "but I can't. You and I are meant for each other."

"It won't be so sad for me," I lied. I would keep him near, in my mind and heart. But in body, I couldn't. "Please leave. We're done."

"No, no, no, no!" he dropped to his knees in front of me and took both my hands in his.

"I can't," I cried, trying to extricate my hands from his, but he kept holding on tighter. "Edward, I can't. You can't stop me from leaving you, because I am. You said you would never leave me, but I made no such promise myself." Both of us were sobbing by now. I kept trying to loosen his grip on my hands, but he wouldn't let go.

"Edward," I sobbed, "please leave. I told you, I will never forget you, I can't, but you need to forget me. Don't feel bad about me, please. Just… leave!" I finally managed to take my hands out of his own. He stood up, shaking his head. I couldn't look at his face.

Using the last of my self-control, I shouted, "I said it's over! Leave!"

I turned around, facing the wall. He didn't say anything, or move. A part of me desperately hoped he would leave. But another much smaller part of me wished he would stay. Fight harder for me. To not let me go…

You can't have it both ways, Bella.

I felt the softest, feather light kiss of the top of my head, and a velvet whisper, "This isn't the end. I won't let you go, Bella. I'm going to keep you safe. I love you."

And then he was gone.

* * *

Numb.

Emotionless.

Dead.

I could feel nothing anymore.

And that's how I wanted it. It had only been a mere hour since Edward finally left, but it felt like it had been years. My body yearned for him, yearned with the need to feel his arms around me. My nose craved his scent. My eyes ached for his bright green gaze. My hands flexed, needing to feel his soft bronze hair. Tears fell down my cheeks, yet I didn't make a sound. My heart recited his name with every beat, like an elegy.

Th-thoomp, th-thoomp, th-thoomp, Ed-ward, Ed-ward, Ed-ward.

But… I couldn't feel any of it.

I shut myself down. I was a hollow shell. Phil could have killed me right now and I wouldn't have felt it nor minded.

I wondered how Edward was feeling. With any luck it wasn't as bad as I was. Rethinking on what I had said to him… I knew I broke him. But I couldn't help that hope that one day, when I was long gone, that his heart wouldn't have to hurt anymore.

He was gone. I let him go. I let him get away. No, I didn't let him get away. I threw him away. I knew that no matter how many times I would try and tell myself that he was gone, my mind wouldn't let him leave the scenes it would play over and over again in my head.

Gone.

But it was okay, because now he was safe.

Who was I fooling? Not even myself.

The door to my dorm room opened, but I didn't make any reaction to the noise. I didn't even look up. I felt a small hand stroke my hair, but I didn't bother to look to see who it was.

Alice and Rosalie all of a sudden appeared in my line of vision, but I couldn't register it as their faces. I looked at them, I couldn't see them.

"Bella…" Alice whispered, he voice sad. I made no response.

"Bella, please say something," Rose said gently. My eyes finally flickered to their faces.

"Oh, Bella," Alice said, gently wiping away my tears with her fingers. A lot like he used to do. "Bella, we saw Edward. He could barely speak properly. Said you left him. Why? I thought you were so happy. Why, Bella?"

I shook my head, snapping enough out of my zombie state to answer her. "Because I can't be here anymore."

"Why not?" Rosalie asked, her voice shocked.

"I just… can't. I'm transferring out of here as soon as possible," I stood up from my bed and walked over to my computer. I noticed Edward exited the email. Good. I didn't want to see it again in fear of breaking down. I grabbed my bag and stuffed my wallet inside. I left my cell phone on my desk. I couldn't handle any calls right now.

"Transferring?!" Alice said, horrified. "Bella, no! Whatever happened between you two can be fixed! Don't leave!"

I walked towards the door, new tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "No, Alice. For once, you're wrong. It can't be fixed."

"But… we just got you back," she whispered.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. I looked back down and bit my lip. "And this thing… between Edward and I, is just proof I was never supposed to come back. I'm transferring schools, and you can't stop me." I looked back at the two of them. Alice looked so sad, I felt like dying all over again. Rose wasn't even looking at me. She had her head turned away.

"I'm going out. When I come back, there better not be anyone here except for Rosalie, and that's only because it her room too. I'm not changing my mind. I'm sorry Ali," I whispered the last part.

It was dark outside when I left my room. The night was cool, but bearable. I didn't even know where I was headed. I was just moving with no goal or purpose. I just needed to get out of there. I couldn't stand to look at Rose or Alice. Edward… Edward I already dealt with. Emmett and Jasper… how could I say goodbye to them? Jasper and I weren't overly close, but I still loved him and all the others like my siblings. And Emmett… what would I do without my teddy-bear?

No, this was bad. I couldn't think about them like this. It invoked emotion.

I had to be emotionless.

"Bella!" I heard someone call.

I turned around slowly to see Jacob running towards me. He was alone.

"Hey, Bella! What are you doing out here? It's kinda late." I tried to smile at him, but it wasn't working, so I gave up.

"Just… walking," I said. It wasn't a lie. I was only walking. I had no destination.

"Do you want me to walk you back to the dorm rooms?" he asked. I checked my watch and realized I had been out for half an hour. That was longer than I thought. Well, I had no reason to say no, and I guess I would just feel safer if Jacob walked back with me.

I nodded and started heading back towards the dorms. He followed me, easily keeping pace with my stride.

"Hey, are you alright?" he asked, obviously noticing my less than chipper mood. It touched me that he was concerned.

Stop that, Bella. Be emotionless.

"I'm fine," I said quietly.

"You don't seem too fine."

"Trust me, I am." Lies, all of them.

"Okay…" he said skeptically. I stopped outside my dorm building and turned to Jacob. He was in a different building so he couldn't follow me inside. I stood up on my tip-toes, since he was so damn tall, and very lightly kissed his cheek. I knew this was going to be the last time I would see him.

"Bye Jacob, and thanks for walking me back. You're a good friend."

"You talking like this is the last time I'll ever see you," he laughed lightly.

I just shook my head ever so slightly and walked into the building, leaving him outside. I guess I would miss him. He was a good friend. He was a nice guy and I wished I could have become better friends with him, but that was impossible.

I entered my dorm room and was pleased to discover it was empty. This was good. I was anticipating someone there, Rosalie most likely, who would try and convince me to stay. I guess they realized I needed space. This made things so much easier. I didn't bother to turn on the lights as I peeled off my coat and fell back on my bed. I closed my eyes, not knowing I would ever be able to sleep tonight without…

Don't think about him.

All of a sudden I felt the same tingly sensation. The one that felt like someone was watching me. I sat up and looked around the moonlit room.

Thud.

I whirled around towards the sound. It sounded a lot like a footstep. Oh God. My heart started beating rapidly in my chest, like it was trying to fight its way out of my ribcage. I could hear the blood in my ears.

Thud.

My breathing hitched and then picked up again double time.

"Edward?" I called out shakily. Maybe it was him or any of the others coming to talk to me. "Jasper? Emmett?"

I turned back around, scanning the rooms with my eyes again. Nothing. Nothing was there. But where had that sound come from. Please don't let it be-

A large hand landed on the back of my neck.

As soon as I felt it, I knew who it was. How many times in the past had I felt those hands hit me, punch me? This was it.

I opened my mouth to scream, but in the next milliseconds, a cloth came down over my nose and mouth, gagging me, cutting off my air flow. I tried to struggle, but the lack of oxygen was making me light-headed and dizzy. Whimpering, black dots started clouding my vision.

That's the last thing I remembered before losing consciousness.

EPOV (while reading this, listen to "Dreaming with a Broken Heart" by John Mayer)

The sun shone behind my eyelids. The night had to be the worst I had ever had. I tossed and turned for hours, rotating between restless sleep and just being wide awake.

I rolled over and reached for my Bella to pull her closer, only…

She wasn't there.

All of a sudden all of yesterday came back to me, and my eyes shot open. She left me. She left me. She left me. I could hardly breath as I sat up and looked around my room, hoping against hope that she would be standing here in my room.

She wasn't.

She was gone.

Gone.

Gone.

No, I told myself. She may have left me, but I wasn't going to give up on her. I was going to get Bella back; my whole existence relied on her. She was the air in my lungs, the beats of my heart, the blood in my veins, she was everything. I couldn't live without her.

And I wasn't going to.

I dreamt of her last night. Through the small amounts of time I did sleep, I dreamt of her. I asked her to stay, begged her to, just as I had done yesterday. But unlike yesterday, she said yes. She stayed with me.

Waking up from that dream was so hard.

I felt so numb. I couldn't even feel my heart anymore. It wasn't like it had broken; it was as if my heart was gone altogether.

Her crying eyes flashed across my vision and I gripped my chest, where my heart was supposed to be. But I knew it wasn't there. It was in a room on the floor above, with a beautiful brown-eyed brunette. It would always be.

I felt so hollowed and broken without my love. I couldn't say goodbye to her, I couldn't. But she said it too me. I couldn't wake up beside her and hold her.

Because she was gone.

No, I couldn't think like that.

I wasn't going to give up or I'd surely die.

I needed her so badly. I didn't cry easily, but I cried now. I swiped my arm across my eyes and saw the glitter of tears. She was so vital to me, I needed her. I needed her here with me. I had to talk to her. I had to convince her that everything would be fine and no matter what, we could make it through everything, even Phil.

I got up and threw on the closest clothes to me. I didn't care how I looked like. I needed to see her. I needed to hear her voice and get lost in her eyes. I needed to get her to see the light; to see that we had to be together. Being without each other would be worse than death. We would wither away.

I understood why Bella did what she did. I could see the reason behind her words, but I couldn't bring myself to accept them. Bella was stubborn and I knew that I wouldn't have been able to get through to her yesterday, so I gave her a day to sleep on it. Today, I would make her see otherwise. I wasn't leaving until we were together again.

I walked out of the elevator and over to Bella's room and opened the door without bothering to knock. The door was always unlocked and I knew she would never let me in if I just didn't barge in myself.

"Bella," I said breathlessly as I entered. My eyes went straight to her bed, hungry to see my love, my life. But she wasn't there.

Her coat was slung over the back of her computer chair, like always, so I knew she was here somewhere.

My eyes scanned the room, trying to find her. I needed to see her so badly. Last night was the longest I had gone without seeing my angel and it was pure torture.

I walked around the room. "Bella?" I called. But she wasn't anywhere. It was too early for class. Was she in the bathroom?

"Bella?" I said again, knocking on the bathroom door. No answer. I turned the doorknob and it opened to reveal no one inside. My mind started panicking and my breathing became faster. Where was she? Why wasn't she in here? Everything was as it should have been; coat in place, books and bag on her desk, no signs of any struggle or disruption. So where was she?!

"Bella!" I called, becoming frantic. Why couldn't I find her?! Where did she go?

I quickly whipped open my cell phone and called Alice.

"Hello?" she answered sleepily.

"Alice, is Bella with you?" I asked urgently.

"No, why?"

"I can't find her, she isn't in her room," I said, my running my hand through my hair and pacing around Bella's empty room. Think, Cullen, think.

"Maybe she's with Rose…?" I hung up before she could finish the sentence.

I dialed Rosalie's number faster than lightening.

"Hello?"

"Rose, is Bella with you?!"

"No, I'm with Emmett. Why? Where is she?"

"If I knew I wouldn't be calling you," I said through gritted teeth. I pinched the bridge of my nose in an effort to control my temper. I snapped the phone shut before she could say anything more. I didn't need her questions. All I knew was that Bella wasn't with either Alice or Rosalie, and through extension, Jasper or Emmett since those two always spent the night with their girlfriends.

I knew she wasn't with me, so where the hell was she?!

My mind was racing, trying to desperately figure out where she could've been. What had happened to her? Oh God, was she safe? I had to go out and look for her! I needed to reassure myself she was alright.

Nothing bad could've happened to her, it just couldn't.

I turned to run from her room, ready to search all of Seattle for her, but stopped as one thing caught my eye.

Her computer.

Her email.

It all dawned in my mind then.

Phil.

No.

BPOV

I felt myself starting to regain consciousness slowly. My head was groggy and ached horribly. I felt like I had been hit with a ton of bricks.

I opened my eyes very slowly. I squinted as bright lights filled my vision. I then realized that I was sitting up in a chair. Huh, wha? My head was bent down uncomfortably as I had been unconscious before. I slowly lifted my head, trying to stand up at the same time.

But I couldn't.

My hands were tied to the back of the chair and my ankles were bound together with thick rope.

I snapped open my eyes fully then and lifted my head so quickly, I felt a head rush. I looked around and realized in horror who had brought me here as the memories flooded back to me. The light continued to shine down on me harshly. I looked up.

It was a spotlight.

I looked around me. A little ways in front of me were empty seats, like you would see in a live theatre. Then I suddenly realized where I was.

I was tied to a chair, under a spotlight.

In the centre of a theatre stage, the curtains open as if a play was being performed.

And I was the main event.

A/N: Hit or Miss?

Yeah, yeah, I know everything seems really screwed up and I messed up everything and blah, blah, blah, but you know what? I'm the author, so TOO BAD! If it makes any of you out there feel better, I'm NOT the type to write tragedies.

Only TWO chapters left (not including the epilogue). Luckily the next update will be tomorrow, where MANY things will happen. Tomorrow's chapter will be, to me, the most climatic chapter of them all. If you hate me and want to kill me for this chapter - don't! If you do, you won't know how it ends…

So, even if you hate me, REVIEW!!! Tell me how much you hate me in a REVIEW!!!

Peace out.