[AN This is probably the most serious chapter to date {aka LIGHT ANGST warning} although plenty of humor as well. It's certainly the longest to date. I think it strikes a balance and makes sense in the context of nudges and so on - although I might have gotten a bit carried away. As always let me know your thoughts via PM or review. Thank you! ]

She kept staring at her partner. He wasn't disappearing. Maybe this is a bad dream and in a moment I'll wake up.

His eyebrows furrowed in concern as she continued staring at him without speaking. "Nadine?"

Apparently this wasn't a nightmare and she was going to have to respond. She opened her paws for an instant. "Hi." came out as a squeak. I sound like a hamster on helium.

He rocked on his heels and swayed as he looked away for a moment "So..." he started turning back to face her "whatcha doing?"

She thought this was an excellent question. She'd been wondering it herself for some time. Praying for death? Preparing to run away? Considering a multitude of things to do to Hopps as revenge? None of those seemed appropriate for the situation.

She opened her paws for an instant again. "I don't know." came out softly. At least I sound normal again. That's progress, right?

"Hmm," he nodded a few times. "That's fair. Well, come on. Let's go." He turned and walked away a few steps before stopping and looking back at her. She still hadn't moved.

I guess we're going to visit his wife with him?
Oh no. Oh no no no.
What do you have to lose at this point?

She lowered her paws from her muzzle and gestured towards him with both of them. "Um. What?"

He pointed over his shoulder towards the entrance with a thumb. "You're here, so you get the grand tour. Come on."

She looked down at the ground. "I...um...I should go." She backed up a step.

"Nadine, it's okay." She looked back up at him. "I'm glad you came." That stopped her for a moment. What? Why-?

"Ralph...I shouldn't be here. I don't-"

"On the job, we've gotten each other out of some bad situations haven't we?" She nodded and looked back down at the ground.

"We have each others backs. You know this. So trust me." He walked back over and hunched down a bit to look up at her. "It's okay. Really. After all...if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be visiting a cemetery; it would be home."

She looked away; her mouth opened and closed a few times as she sighed and shook her head. He put a paw on her arm and she looked at him.

"Besides, it's not like it could get any more awkward could it?" He tilted his head towards the entrance. "Walk with me." He turned and slowly headed towards the entrance.

She rubbed her paws over her face and ears ending with them over her muzzle again.

You could run you know.
And what do I say tomorrow morning? Sorry for leaving you at the cemetery like that? I remembered I had a fur appointment?
You could...ask for a different partner. Or transfer to another precinct.
That will make things worse. This isn't his fault.
Then I guess you're going for a walk.

She hung her head even lower and sighed. He'd stopped at the entrance - his ears were back and tracking her. She shuffled her way over to him as her legs finally started working again. Where were you guys a minute ago? When we could have run away. She felt heat all across her body. Great. I wonder if he'll be able to smell how scared and embarrassed I am? I so need a drink.

The wide path of the entrance continued a short distance and then split into two that split into multiple smaller paths that split again and again. Some smaller paths branched off directly from the main as well. Trees, fairly dense, were all throughout the area. Glancing from side to side she could make out headstones scattered along all of the paths. It's almost like a tree. The main path is the trunk and all the side paths are branches. I guess the headstones represent...leaves?

He saw her glances. "You see the pattern?" She nodded continuing to look around. While it wasn't crowded, it certainly wasn't empty; various other mammals, mostly wolves, were walking down paths or had stopped at some of the grave-sites. Most were adult although ages ranged; there were even a few kits walking with what must have been their parents...or in some cases parent.

"We've always had an affinity for the forest. Some things don't change no matter how much you may think you've evolved." He took the main left branch from the entrance path walking at a slow pace as she walked beside him. It's peaceful here, she thought. Then she blinked a few times and shook her head slightly. Idiot. It's a cemetery. Of course it's quiet and peaceful. Good thing I didn't say that out loud.

"Once I got out of the hospital I came here every day for about a month." He sighed. "Even my pack was worried about how I was acting." He steered right at the next major branch. "After that it was weekly. Always on Saturday - the day of the accident. In the late afternoon." He stopped for a moment; she did as well. "That's why I was never available for Saturday evening shifts. Bogo made sure to keep me off the schedule." She mouthed an "oh" silently and nodded. He started again, walking slowly. "Earlier this year I decided to change it to monthly. I know it's time...", he shook his head, "it's just hard." He snorted. "I can imagine what Jamie would say with how long I've been coming here; she had quite the temper." He chuckled and took the next branch to the left.

"We were meeting friends for dinner over in Tundra Town. It was raining but not too hard. I'd had a long shift so she was driving that night." he stopped again and took a deep breath. "It's one of those accidents where it wasn't anyone's fault. No one was speeding. No one was being reckless." His head was nodding and his tone changing as he went through the list - as if he was still trying to convince himself after all this time. "It was just...an accident." He shook his head. She almost reached out to put a paw on his shoulder; his quick glance showed he'd noticed.

He looked off between the trees in front of them. "It's why I always drive." She looked at him confused - forehead slightly wrinkled. "If I'd been driving she'd still be here." His paws were back in his pockets and he looked at the ground. "Jeez Ralph...I..." slipped out as she realized what he meant. This time she did put a paw on his shoulder giving him a soft squeeze.

He kept looking at the ground. "It's not sexist. It isn't. She was a good driver, she didn't do anything wrong." He looked up at her for a moment, "You are too", and then looked back at the ground. "The crash would still have happened; there's no way I would have been able to avoid it. She'd be alive though. I'd have protected her. Like I was supposed to." He took a deep breath and shuddered as he let it out. Her thoughts were jumbled as she tried to decide what, if anything to say. He's been holding that for years. Even from me.

"I didn't know her...if she did have a temper...wouldn't she be upset with you for believing that?" Without thinking she'd gone from a paw on his shoulder to rubbing it.

He took another deep breath and let it out slowly before he looked at her. "That's...probably an understatement," he had a small smile as he looked off in the distance. He started walking again, taking one of the smaller branches. She followed, closer than she had been before.

"When Hopps pulled her stunt last night - you did hear about that right?" She nodded. "Nick thought it was real." He shook his head. "I don't know how she got the chief to go along and I don't know how she fooled Nick into thinking it was real, but she did. He thought she was dying; thought his...mate...was dying as he was holding her...and there was nothing he could do." He blew out another breath.

He stopped walking and looked ahead and down. The path had wound around a tree and ended at a single grave. She'd been so focused on Ralph she hadn't noticed. She realized how close she was standing to him and moved a few steps away.

Why move away now?
Are you kidding? We're at her grave!
It didn't bother you when you were walking.
This is different. She's here. I mean we're here. It's not appropriate!
That doesn't make any sense.
CUT ME SOME SLACK ALRIGHT? THIS IS SO WRONG. I SHOULDN'T BE HERE.
He-
NOT. A. PEEP.

She moved back closer.

"When the accident happened, our car was mangled - between the truck that hit her side and the railing it was crushed. We were both pinned. I knew at least one of my legs was broken. Jamie...Jamie was hurt far worse." His voice became softer and coarser. She kept her eyes fixed on the grave. This, this is going to be bad.

"Part of the car..." he took a deep breath "...punctured her side. The steering wheel was jammed up against her chest. Her legs were crushed. She could barely turn her head to look at me. All I could do was hold on to her paw." He clenched his jaw and clicked his tongue. "Over all the fumes from gas and oil...I could smell her blood spilling out onto her seat and the wreckage." She tried to steady her own breathing and had to wipe at her eyes. What a nightmare. With his sense of smell? She shook her head and looked down.

"She must have gone into shock immediately. She wasn't yelling or screaming. But she knew. I could see it in her eyes." She squeezed tears out of her own eyes. I can't...imagine...trapped and waiting for my mate to die next to me? Knowing I couldn't do anything?

"I...I was yelling. At the EMTs. At the crews trying to come through the windshield to get to her. At anyone who was there. And at her." He shook his head and took at a ragged breath. "At her. To stay. To fight." He wiped at his eyes and shook his head again, sniffling. "She tried...I think...but she couldn't talk." Nadine couldn't either; her own breathing was raspy as she kept swallowing and wiping at her eyes.

"She was crying. Holding my paw...barely able to squeeze it but I could feel it." She could feel herself getting a little unsteady and knelt down and rested on her haunches next to him.

"Until her eyes closed. Then...then it all stopped - no tears, no squeezes. I don't really remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital." How did he live with that memory for so long?

She tugged on his shoulder. He turned and she gestured with her paw before pulling him in to a hug. He relaxed into it after a moment. Her arms easily encircled him, whereas his paws could barely touch. She felt his muzzle rest on her shoulder as he started shaking. She leaned her much larger head against his. Neither said anything for a moment.

It was hard for her to speak. "I...have been...such a bad friend and partner all these years. You've been carrying...this...forever." She had to shake her head a few times and blink to clear her eyes while sniffling. "I am sorry...I didn't have your back...all this time."

He leaned back to look at her; his eyes carried their own wetness. "None of that. You've been there for me so many times in so many ways - I never you let on this. Not before today anyway. I should have long ago." Even kneeling she was still a little taller than he was - she leaned forward and pressed her forehead on his for a moment before leaning back again.

I wonder if he knows what that means.
Don't care. Not at the moment anyway.
It changes things.
Maybe. Maybe not. At the moment I'm comforting my friend. My partner.
What about later?
I'll worry about it then.

"Why today?" She was still sniffling.

"At the coffee shop this morning, when Hopps looked at me - I knew she knew. I don't know how and I don't want to know - but she did. She told me she was sorry; she hadn't known what had happened with Jamie or that I was there in atrium. How it was all her fault. I kept trying to deflect and change the subject. She wouldn't let me."

"What she said after she hugged me has stuck with me all day. She said...she said 'It was time.'"

Nadine looked at him incredulously. "How...What?"

"Right?" He shrugged. "I have no idea. Those two are just...they're different. Special."

"You know, after she spoke to you, she stopped me when I was bringing coffee to the table. She told me to 'Take care of you and to keep an eye on you'. That's stuck with me all day too. It's...um...why I..." her eyes shifted between her partner, the grave, and anything else nearby "...followed you." she finished with a whisper.

"Hmm." He gave a few shallow nods. They'd ended up nose-to-nose; his paws were on her sides while hers were will still wrapped around him. He tilted his head and a ghost of a smile appeared. "I'm not sure this is what she had in mind." Her eyes widened as she realized how intimate of a position they were in. She felt her body flush. Oh...oh...oh. You just...in front of... Her eyes focused over his shoulder onto the grave. She started shuffling backwards on her knees to pull away as her breathing began racing.

"Nadine. Hey." He'd grabbed onto both her paws as she kept backing up. She looked down but he hunched over and looked up at her.

"Stop." She stopped backing up but kept avoiding his gaze.

"It's okay. I invited you here." She opened her mouth but closed it and just shook her head looking down at the ground.

"I meant what I said earlier. I'm glad you came." Her eyes flicked between his and the ground several times before she nodded. He squeezed her paws and pulled up on them so she stood; she still had trouble meeting his gaze. "I'm sorry you had to hear it." He paused before continuing in a softer voice. "At the same time...I'm glad it was you." He still hadn't let go of her paws. "Are we still okay?" She nodded. "Really?" She took a breath and looked at him, "We're good."

He nodded back. "Can I...can I get a moment...alone?"

She opened her mouth and then closed it, nodding and giving his paws a squeeze before letting go. "Take as long as you need Ralph. I'll wait just down the path."

She headed a short distance away where she could still see him but was out of earshot. She leaned back against one of the trees and rubbed her paws over her face again.

If he hadn't wanted you here he wouldn't have asked you in.
I've completely invaded his privacy. And...in front of her grave...I...
No. He shared this with you. His choice. When he wanted privacy at the end he asked for it.
I need a drink.
Of course that was quite a hug the two of you had.
I'll just run a tab.

A tug on her pants broke her out of her thoughts. A wolf cub, no more than 4 or 5, was looking up at her. "You're tall." She looked around and didn't see any adults nearby. She dropped down on her knees and hunched over to get closer to his height. "Well hello. Yes, I am. You're not here alone are you?"

"Nah. I'm here with my mom. We're visiting grampa. Why are you here?" She chuckled. Have to love how direct kids will be.

"I'm here with my friend; he's over there." She leaned and pointed towards Ralph. The cub looked, and stood on tippy-toes to see over some of the bushes; he must have seen Ralph as he turned back and nodded at her. I was just checked-on by a wolf cub to make sure I wasn't lying. Seems fitting I guess.

"What's he doing?"

"I...I think he's saying good-bye," she whispered. Ralph had squatted down in front of the grave. She shook her head and blinked...and realized she had a few tears again. She brushed them away with one paw. The cub noticed and patted her on the arm. "Saying good-bye is hard," he whispered back. She nodded and almost jumped as a voice next to her added "Yes it is." A she-wolf squatted down and glared at the cub who had slid to Nadine's side to keep her between himself and the obviously angry parent. "You know better than to wander off and you certainly know better than to bother anyone here." The cub was peeking over the tigress' arm at his mother. I'm in a cemetery, Ralph is talking to his dead wife, we had a deeply emotional hug, and a wolf cub is using me to play hide and seek with his mom. Okay. Sure. I got this.

"He wasn't bothering me ma'am, however," Nadine turned to look at the cub who stared up at her, "she is right. You shouldn't wander off like that." The she-wolf tilted her head and went "Ma'am? I'm not that old."

"Sorry ma-", she chuckled. "Sorry. It's habit from work. Officer Nadine Fangmeyer, ZPD." That certainly caught the cub's attention. "Wow! You-" A glare and hissed "Timmy" from his mother had him hiding behind her arm again. Motion caught her eye and she noticed Ralph had stood back up, but was still facing away from her. The she-wolf followed her glance; without looking away from Ralph she asked "Who is it?" Nadine thought it was an odd question, for tigers it would be rude, but...given she was in a wolf cemetery she amswered. "His wife." The she-wolf's head snapped back to look at her directly. Are all she-wolves this intense?

"He invited you?"

"Uh...well...yes...eventually."

"Sounds like there's a story there."

Normally she wouldn't have engaged; she would have just nodded or changed the subject. Of course normally she wouldn't be in a cemetery. Or have hugged her partner. Or half a dozen or other things. Today was not a normal day.

"I...I was worried about him. He's my partner at the ZPD. He was...off all day; mood swings, behavior changes. A group of us gets together every Thursday night- he hasn't missed on in years but tonight he said he 'had something to take care of' so between how he acted on shift and that I...uh..." It all came out in a huge rush.

"You followed him." It wasn't a question.

"I didn't know where he was going. I swear! I was outside the gate before I realized what this was - I thought it was a park! I froze and before I could leave he came out and asked me to walk with him." The cub was looking at her with wide eyes. The she-wolf looked...thoughtful. Nadine continued on. "I know, I know. I've-" A paw on her arm stopped her. "Shh. It's okay. If he invited you then he trusts you and thinks very highly of you."

"Why are you so scared?" the cub asked out of nowhere.

"Uh...Um..."

"Timmy! What have I told you." The cub darted back behind her.

She looked at the she-wolf, "What-" She tapped the side of her nose. Nadine's eyes widened as the other smiled. "We have to start teaching them young", she leaned back to look behind the tigress at her cub, "that it is very, very rude", he shrunk down with ears back and head dipped, "to talk about what we can smell on other mammals." Nadine looked at her in horror. "What? What's wrong?"

"I forgot. Ralph's so good about that. Oh. Oh no. The whole time...he was telling me what happened to Jamie...", she blinked rapidly, "he could...he could smell..." She looked around wildly. "Oh. Oh. I need to go." A paw on her arm stopped her as she started to stand.

"Stay."

"No I really-"

"Stay. If he invited you here and shared what happened you have nothing to worry about." She chuckled. "We start training our males young." She glared at her cub who looked about to speak - he closed his muzzle. "Some take longer than others." He slid back out of view.

Nadine took a few deep breaths blowing each one out slowly. "I'm Natalie by the way." Nadine smacked a paw on her forehead. "I can't believe I forgot to ask. I'm sorry..."

Natalie gave her a small smack on the arm. "Stop apologizing. Wolves are even more stubborn and pushy than most males. You'll have to stop that if you're going to keep him in line." Nadine looked at her blankly. Keep him in line? That's a strange thing to say, she thought.

"After all," Natalie crossed her arms and leaned back on her haunches with a small grin, "there's a reason we she-wolves have a certain reputation. We need it to deal with them." She chuckled. Nadine's eyes widened. "Oh...oh...we're not..." Natalie cut her off with a wave.

"There's what you are and what you might be. What's happened to you today - it's had an impact, hasn't it? You're looking at things around you a little differently now, aren't you?"

"I..", she stopped herself. I certainly saw part of Ralph I never had. And I'm not a hugger...but it felt right. Sort of. Maybe. I am just not going to think about that now.

Natalie flicked her eyebrows and nodded, "Exactly."

"Nadine, where are..." Ralph's voice trailed off as he turned the corner and saw the three of them together "..you...Hello?" His eyes darted between them as his ears flicked from up to down and back.

"Hey Ralph...uh...come join us?" she smiled and her eyes were blinking rapidly. This just keeps getting stranger every minute.

He slowly dropped down and knelt across from her and next to the she-wolf who still hadn't been introduced.

"So...Nadine...you going to introduce me to your...friends?"

"Oh sor-" she was interrupted as Natalie flicked one of Ralph's ears. "OWW! What-" Nadine's eyes widened and she covered her mouth.

Natalie was shaking a claw at Ralph's muzzle. "You invited her here! That's not how you talk to her. Mind your manners." Ralph's eyes were tracking the claw at the tip of it's muzzle. Nadine snorted and tried to stifle a laugh. Timmy tugged on her arm; she looked at him and he whispered, loudly, "She does that to dad a lot!" She had to use her other paw to keep her laughter contained as she looked back at Ralph. He was grimacing and had dipped his muzzle towards Natalie.

Natalie huffed and turned back towards her. "See? That's how you keep them in line. You remember what I told you." Nadine nodded vigorously. "Yes ma'am. I will."

Natalie turned back to Ralph who was still holding his ear, looking him up and down. She frowned. "He looks like a difficult case." She unzipped her small purse and, after rummaging in it for a few seconds, pulled out a business card which she waved towards Nadine. The tigress took it in one paw, the other now resting on her chest as her laughter was mostly under control. She glanced at the card and then looked a question at Natalie. "That has my number on it. If he gives you too much trouble you call me and I'll give you some tips." Nadine looked at it again and then looked up at the she-wolf who had stood. "Thank you." Natalie nodded back.

"Timmy - let's go. Time to head back home."

Nadine felt a squeeze on her arm, as the cub gave her a hug before he darted away after his mom.

She stared after Natalie who disappeared down one of the branches on the paths. "So...are all she-wolves like that?" She was idly ticking the card in her paws.

"Pretty much." He'd stopped rubbing his ear. "The good ones anyway."

"Guess I'll keep this then." She waved the card before putting in one of her pockets. "It might come in handy." She couldn't keep a small grin off her muzzle.

He narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue while he watched her put it away.

Jamie would like her.
I think so.
Are you really doing this?
Maybe. Maybe not. At the moment it's two friends who had an emotional day.
That's often how it starts.
Perhaps. I'm not thinking about that tonight.

"What now?" she'd sat back on her heels. Please let it involve alcohol. There has to be a bar near here. Please Please Please.

"Well, there is a local bar just-"

"Oh god. Yes. Let's go." She jumped to her feet and started down the path.

"It's a popular wolf hang-" He stood up.

"You had me at bar," she called out over her shoulder.

He looked back at the grave up the path, not the grave - Jamie's grave, he corrected himself. He closed his eyes and dipped his muzzle one last time letting out a last, deep breath.

"Nadine! Wait up." He turned and hurried after her.

He woke to a familiar sensation. At some point Judy had joined him and was burrowed up against his chest as he wrapped around her on the small bed. That wasn't the sensation. He had to pee. He tried to move away; Judy grabbed his fur tighter and let out a small growl. He guessed peeing wasn't allowed yet.

He managed to reach back to the nightstand behind him to get his phone to check the time. He set it to silent and turned it back on. It slowly booted up. I need to replace this with something newer. 6:10 finally popped on the screen. Along with numerous notifications - text messages, calls, and voice mail. He frowned. He didn't recognize any of the numbers that had called. The texts were all from Ben.

BEN: Nick, Judy - The chief told me to tell you that you're going to be on the news tonight. Someone leaked the video. The mayor and he both gave a statement as well.
BEN: It'll be in the About the Town segment on ZNN - airs at 6:50 near the end of the evening news. He said you both should watch it.
BEN: And if you get calls from numbers you don't recognize he says to ignore them. They are probably reporters.
BEN: PS - don't forget, you promised photos! =D

He read the messages a second time. And then a third. They didn't change. He looked down at Judy; she was still sleeping. One ear flopped over her face and eyes as she rested on his chest.

That would make a great photo.
She'd kill me.
Ben would love it! He'd squee full volume!
She'd kill Ben too.
You're about to be on the news. She's going to want to kill everyone.
So I should let Ben get some final enjoyment before we all die?
Exactly. Kind of like a last meal. Only a photo.
So send a photo to Ben, wake her up and tell her. That's the plan?
And then pee. Wouldn't want to die on a full bladder.
Good add. Maybe you are useful.
You say the sweetest things. No wonder she adores you.

He had to take a few shots before he found one that framed her face and showed his other arm wrapped around her. He sent it to Ben with a warning message.

NICK: Thanks for the heads up on the news. I had 4 calls from odd numbers. This will be bad.
NICK: Here's a photo. Do NOT share this. Just for you. Judy will kill us both if anyone else sees it.

A few seconds later he had a response.

BEN: AAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

He chuckled and set the phone back down on the nightstand behind him. He turned back to Judy and moved her ear off of her face.

"Hey...Fluff. Time to wake up."

"..."

"Carrots. Need you to let go of me and wake up. I have to pee."

"...holdit..."

"We're going to be on the news in 40 minutes. We should probably watch."

One eye shot open.

"What?"

[AN - So the exchange (and finish in particular - before they presumably go to the bar). I was trying to place their interaction in a particular context:

1) They have been nudged
2) They have both "talked to themselves" about how they don't know what it is and aren't worrying about it now
3) They've reaffirmed they are okay as friends and partners
4) They've had a very, very emotional day and experience - they're both drained
5) They have been partners for several years in life and death situations...so there is an extended basis of trust no matter how strange the day has been

So while it could seem rushed or a bit odd...all the above sets a pretty specific context/situation.

Let me know what you think!

MinscLovesBoo]