AN: Happy Thursday, everyone! I hope you all had a good one! Enjoy!
Three days later, and the people of Polis had gone without anything interrupting the peace. The day after the City of Light was destroyed, Abby and Marcus went back to Arkadia to get back to their people, and they said that they would let Raven know that it was safe for her to arrive in Polis. Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, and Bellamy were now wandering the streets of Polis, waiting for Raven to arrive. Lexa couldn't help but smile at the fact that she was spending time with the love of her life and her newfound friends.
When Raven finally arrived, the three Skaikru members went nuts, rushing over to say hello to her. Lexa remained at a respectable distance, giving the other girl a smile and a polite nod. Raven made her way over to hug Lexa anyway. After an initial time to talk and catch up, and the promise, to Octavia's delight, that Lincoln would be arriving the next day now that Clarke had convinced Lexa to lift his kill order, the four of them began to show Raven through Polis. Before long, to the surprise of no one, she began to teach some of Lexa's people to build a small bomb. A Molotov cocktail, she had called it.
Lexa, Clarke, and their friends were watching from a respectable distance, but once the people of Polis started to try constructing some for themselves, Raven made her way over to join them, one of the small bombs in hand. "Hey guys, you want to throw one?"
Clarke rolled her eyes, shaking her head, and Raven held it out to the commander. "Lexa?"
Lexa's eyes widened, and she quickly stepped behind Clarke for protection. She knew she was being childish, but she didn't want to be anywhere near that thing, lest it should explode. Clarke seemed to know exactly what Lexa was thinking because she smirked, stepping out of the way. "Lexa, it's not going to explode unless you light it."
Lexa reached out hesitantly, and Raven placed it in her hand. "When I light it, throw it as far as you can towards the woods, okay?"
Lexa nodded, and Raven went to light a stick in a fire pit near one of the butcher stands before bringing it back to light Lexa's cocktail. Lexa instantly quelled the fear she was feeling, knowing that Clarke wouldn't be allowing her to do this if it were not safe. Once Raven lit the bomb, Lexa threw it into the woods, where it exploded in a fiery blast. Some of her people instantly ran over with buckets of water, having been prepared for this kind of thing the minute Raven began building the bombs. The people who had been working to build their own bombs cheered for Lexa, and she couldn't help but smile. She had to admit that this new form of weapon was pretty cool.
"See? That wasn't so scary after all." Clarke spoke up from behind her.
Lexa turned to face her with a grin. "Not at all. I am just not used to Skaikru technology so I was a bit wary."
"No need to be," Clarke said, giving her a quick kiss. "Maybe someday I'll teach you how to shoot a gun."
Lexa was hesitant at first because she had been taught to fear guns at all costs, but then she nodded, trusting Clarke. "Okay, Clarke. I will be looking forward to it. Now, if you'll excuse me though, I have to make sure the new weapons came in properly."
"I'll come with you." Clarke grabbed on to Lexa's hand.
Clarke and Lexa walked away from their friends, pushing through the crowded streets to find the area that housed most of the weapons stalls. Lexa was glad when she saw the young woman from the trading post and her father distributing the last of the weapons to the vendors. Lexa nodded to them both, and they bowed respectfully, but before she could even open her mouth to speak, Clarke released her hand, stepping a little closer to inspect the workers. "Niylah?!"
"No way. Wanheda!" Niylah exclaimed, making her way over to Clarke.
"Please, call me Clarke." The blonde extended her hand for Niylah to grasp in the style of the grounders.
"You're finally going to tell me your name, huh?" Niylah teased.
"I'm sure you already knew it by now," Clarke pointed out, to which Niylah just shrugged and nodded.
"You two know each other?" Lexa broke through their friendly chat.
"Yes, I stayed with Niylah at the trading post for a while when I was in hiding. You know, before Roan found me. She's my friend," Clarke explained.
Niylah laughed aloud, and Lexa was seriously confused as to what the other woman found funny. "Do you sleep with all your friends then?"
Lexa stiffened at the mention of this. Clarke had slept with this woman?
"Niylah!" Clarke scolded.
"What's wrong?" Realization dawned on Niylah's face at that moment. "You're seeing someone, aren't you?"
"Yes." Clarke reached down and grabbed Lexa's hand before giving Niylah a pointed look. "Lexa."
"You and the commander?" Niylah asked, looking shocked, and Clarke nodded. "I'm very sorry, Heda. I didn't mean to be disrespectful. It was nothing really."
"Don't worry about it, Niylah. You're fine," Clarke said.
Niylah kept her inquisitive gaze on Lexa. "Heda?"
Lexa wanted nothing more than to kill this woman on the spot, but Clarke jabbed her in the side, so she said gruffly, "Of course. It is fine."
"Listen, Niylah, why don't you stay here today? We can catch up," Clarke offered.
Niylah smiled. "Sure, I'd love that."
Lexa seethed. Clarke had slept with this woman, and now she was inviting her to stay in Lexa's own home? She wanted nothing more than for Niylah to leave. Lexa knew Clarke loved her, but she couldn't help the feeling that she was being replaced. After all, Clarke had slept with this woman after she met Lexa, and she had never mentioned it to the brunette once.
"You cannot stay here. You have more deliveries to do in the other villages," Lexa said, unable to hide the anger from her voice.
"We only have one other village to bring weapons to today, but of course, Heda. If you wish for me to finish the job immediately, then I will not stay." Niylah bowed respectfully.
Clarke caught her arm before she could leave. "No. Lexa's just being jealous, and for no reason, I might add. You are perfectly welcome to stay."
"I am the commander, Clarke," Lexa growled, "I have the authority here, and I say she leaves."
"Lexa, I'm not allowing you to turn her away just because I slept with her one time. I'm with you now, and you're being ridiculous," Clarke said sternly.
"I am not. I simply wish for her to continue her job," Lexa said, keeping her eyes guarded. "She has weapons to deliver to another village."
Octavia hurried over to where they were arguing, easily introducing herself and intercepting Niylah's attention, pulling her over to watch Raven teach the people of Polis how to build bombs. The two bickering girls shot Octavia grateful looks, glad that they would now be able to talk more easily without the object of their conflict standing right in front of them.
Once Octavia and Niylah were both out of hearing range, Clarke turned to her girlfriend with gentle eyes. "I'm sorry I never told you about what happened with Niylah."
"I just do not understand why you would keep this information from me." Lexa's own eyes softened as well.
"Because it didn't mean anything." Clarke brought her hand up to Lexa's cheek. "I love you, Lexa."
"And I love you too, Clarke," Lexa said sincerely, but she knew that her doubt was still visible in her eyes. "Are you sure you no longer have feelings for this woman?"
"Positive, Lexa. I'm all yours." Lexa could not mistake the absolute love that was shining in Clarke's blue eyes, so she nodded.
"Then, she may stay, and I will give the two of you some time to catch up," Lexa said reluctantly. "Perhaps I will spend some time with Raven."
"That sounds like a good idea. I'm sure she'll love the company. And if you can, please make sure she doesn't burn down the whole village," Clarke said.
Lexa's eyes sparkled with amusement. "I will try my very best."
Clarke kissed Lexa on the cheek before pulling away to go join Niylah. Lexa watched, still feeling uneasy, as they exchanged a few words with each other before heading into thecrowd. Once they had disappeared from Lexa's view, the brunette walked back over to where Raven was still trying to teach her people how to make bombs. Some of them burnt out without an explosion, but others were successful, bursting into flames on impact with the ground. Lexa couldn't help but notice the comparison between the flames that were bursting up from the bombs and the fire of jealousy that she still felt burning in her heart. She tried to quell this fire as she sat on a rock watching Raven work, but she had to admit that she couldn't help it. She didn't want to share Clarke with anyone, and she hated the fact that Clarke had been intimate with Niylah like she was with Lexa. It made her want to keep this girl away from the blonde for the rest of her life, but she had to admit even she could see how crazy that would be. She knew that Clarke was not her property, so she allowed the blonde to do as she pleased. That just didn't mean that Lexa had to like it.
The commander had to admit that Raven worked well with her people, and they all seemed to like her, listening intently as she corrected them on what they did wrong. She also had to admit that this form of weapon would be very useful for them in taking out any enemy that may yet arise. Once her people started to better get the hang of it, Raven came over and plopped down beside her. "What's up, Lexa? You look broody."
Lexa turned to face her. "It's Niylah. I do not like her."
"Yeah because she slept with Clarke, and you're jealous," Raven said.
"I just do not like the way that Clarke is treating me as if I am in the wrong." Lexa sighed.
"You kind of are, Lexa. She said it didn't mean anything, so you need to believe her. You have no right to be jealous right now when there is clearly nothing going on between the two of them. Clarke loves you, not Niylah, and you're her girlfriend. You should trust her."
"I know. I am just finding it quite hard to picture Clarke with someone else. But maybe it would be better for Clarke to have her. Why wouldn't Clarke want her?" Lexa couldn't bring herself to meet Raven's eyes. "I mean, I am the commander. I will always have to lead my people. With Niylah, Clarke can be free."
Raven rolled her eyes. "Lexa, you're being ridiculous. You and Clarke are practically married. There's no way she would ever want anyone else."
"Then why did she sleep with her?" Lexa countered.
"Because she was hurt. You left her at the mountain, and she was extremely upset with you for it. You of all people should know that after what she did to you when she saw you again." Raven smirked a little at the thought. Lexa brought her hand up to ghost along her jawline, feeling a phantom ache there at the memory that Raven had inspired. Lexa still couldn't help the way her lips turned up slightly, even though Raven's comment had been at her expense. God, it had hurt and been an awful ordeal when Clarke broke Lexa's jaw, but the way that Clarke felt so greatly at that moment, even if it was hatred for Lexa, was what made the brunette fall in love with her in the first place. Clarke was a leader, same as her, but she found a way to feel so greatly and still do what was best for her people. Lexa often found that she had to push her feelings away to do the same.
"I understand," Lexa said, "So should I just leave her alone, or should I try to apologize for my earlier actions?"
Raven opened her mouth to respond, but Lexa began talking again before she even got a word out. "I will apologize. What should I say?" she asked turning to Raven. Lexa hoped that Raven would give her something to say that would impress Clarke and make up for her earlier behavior.
"Tell her she's the most beautiful woman you've ever seen." Lexa watched as Raven got an almost mischievous glint in her eyes. "And then tell her you want to fuck her."
Lexa cocked her head to the side upon hearing the Skaikru term. "What does that mean?"
Raven laughed, and Lexa was even more confused as to what was so funny. "It means that you want to kiss her, and I'm going to guess you do."
"Yes, I would very much like to kiss her, but I know when you are lying." Lexa raised an eyebrow. "I assume this word is something I most definitely should not use aroundClarke and that you only wish for me to say it to get a laugh out of the situation."
Raven just shrugged. "Eh, it was worth a try."
"Perhaps, I will say it to her some other time when she is not already mad at me and see how she reacts." Lexa winked.
"If she is not mad at you, I'm sure you'll like the result of that." Raven smirked at her, and Lexa wondered what this word could possibly mean that would be bad for her to say now but seemingly good if Clarke was not mad. She shook the feeling off, knowing Raven would not tell her if she asked.
"Anyways, thank you, Raven," Lexa said brightly, standing up from the rock.
"Anytime, Lexa."
When Lexa finally found Clarke and Niylah, they were standing near a jewelry stand, and they had seemingly just bought a necklace, which they were admiring, that now hung around Niylah's neck. Lexa only hoped that Clarke actually let Niylah pay for it herself. She didn't like the idea of Clarke giving this woman gifts. However, Lexa knew she would make it nowhere with Clarke if she continued thinking like that, so she took a deep breath before she walked over to stand beside Clarke, pushing her jealousy down as best she could.
"Hello, Clarke," Lexa said as she walked over to where the blonde was standing.
Clarke nodded in greeting, and Niylah dipped her head politely. Lexa could tell Clarke was at least a little mad about the way she had acted earlier because she did not kiss Lexa upon her arrival or even grab her hand. She tried not to think about the other possibility for this, but somehow it pushed its way into her head. Maybe Clarke simply did not greet her in the usual way because she preferred Niylah's company to Lexa's. Still, she swallowed this feeling and pushed on with what she needed to say. "I'm sorry, Clarke, for the way I acted earlier, and Niylah, I apologize to you as well. You are welcome to stay here for dinner tonight."
"Thank you, Heda," Niylah said.
Clarke then did reach down and take her hand. "Thank you, Lexa. It was very big of you to come over here and say that."
"I think you're very beautiful, and I love you," Lexa said.
Lexa was glad when this brought a genuine smile to Clarke's lips. She was even happier when Clarke leaned up to kiss her cheek. "I love you too."
When she pulled away, Lexa nodded to both of them and left them alone. She didn't get very far before she was pulled into a conversation with one of her people. He wanted her to look at some small bracelet, and she did, kind of admiring the way the color was so similar to that of Clarke's eyes. To anyone else, she would appear to be paying attention, but Lexa's focus was still on her girlfriend and Niylah. Her stomach churned when Niylah reached out to touch Clarke's arm, and she wanted nothing more than to go over there and yell at the other girl to leave, but she did not wish for Clarke to be mad at her, so she let them be. She finished her conversation with the jeweler, and then she forced herself to walk away. She knew that if Clarke wanted to spend time with Niylah, it would be best if Lexa didn't stick around to watch.
Lexa managed to avoid Clarke and Niylah for the rest of the afternoon, instead choosing to hold a training session with the nightbloods. When the session was over, Lexa knew it was time for dinner, and there was no avoiding the blonde and her "friend" any longer. While the rest of the nightbloods ran off so that they themselves could eat, Aden made his way over to Lexa's side, knowing that something was wrong. She sighed, wondering why it was that she could never get anything past Aden.
"Heda, is everything alright?" he asked.
Lexa would have lied to anyone else, but to Aden, she let herself be honest, shaking her head. "No. The weapons were delivered today, and it appears that the young woman from the trading post knows Clarke too well for my liking. They were intimate in the past, and now Clarke claims they are just friends and has invited her for dinner, but I still do not like her being there."
"Would you like me to serve your dinner tonight? I can accidentally spill some food or water on her." Mischief danced in the young boy's eyes. "Or both."
Lexa's lips turned up in a smile, and she wished so much that she could say yes. "I would love that very much, Aden, but Clarke will see right through that act. She will know it was I who authorized it."
"I could get one of the younger nightbloods to do it," Aden suggested, "Jacen is only five summers old. It would be perfectly believable if he did it. Kids spill stuff all the time."
Lexa reluctantly shook her head. "Then, Clarke would be angry at me for putting someone so young on duty when we have a guest. I will have the normal servers bring our dinner tonight. I do not wish for Clarke to be mad at me."
"Don't worry, Lexa. Anyone with eyes can see that Clarke loves you," Aden reassured her, "and if this woman becomes a problem, I will not hesitate to beat her up for you."
Lexa smiled at him. "Thank you, Aden. Now, go join the others for dinner. I have a very awkward meal to sit through."
Aden nodded to her before running off in the direction that the other kids had gone. Lexa sighed, running her hand through her long brunette hair, wincing when her finger snagged in one of her braids. She took a deep breath before making her way towards the tower where the others would most likely be waiting for her.
Everyone was already seated, as expected, when Lexa walked into the dining hall: Raven, Octavia, Bellamy, Clarke, and Niylah. The trading post worker was seated on one side of Clarke, and there was an empty place waiting for Lexa on the girl's other side. Lexa's blood was already boiling before she even sat down. Why should Niylah get to sit beside the commander's girlfriend? That should be Lexa and only Lexa. Niylah should be sitting on the other side of the table, but she let it slide.
"Hello, Commander," Niylah greeted in a polite manner.
Lexa wondered if the politeness was all an act. She gave the woman a stern nod, and she didn't miss the glare that Clarke shot her, warning her to be nice. Lexa sat down stiffly, wishing she could be anywhere but there at the moment. Raven and Aden may have been able to convince her that Clarke probably wouldn't leave her, but she still couldn't be sure about what Niylah would do. She had no idea of the other girl's intentions. For all she knew, Niylah could be here to win Clarke's affections, and Lexa still couldn't be one hundred percent certain that she wouldn't succeed. Being with Niylah would be so much easier, definitely safer, and most likely better than being with Lexa. She held too much responsibility as the commander.
When Niylah next addressed her, she had to try her best not to groan. "I heard you were out training your natblidas. How was it? Are they shaping up to be the warriors you expect them to be?"
"It went well," Lexa said gruffly, "They will all be great warriors someday."
Niylah was put off by Lexa's tone, and she brought her eyes down to her lap, seemingly learning that she should not be addressing the commander so casually, and she was right. Lexa did not wish for this woman to be on familiar terms with her. However, the brunette did not miss the disapproving glare that Clarke shot her way or the way that Clarke scooted a small distance away from her. She wanted to apologize, but she couldn't help it. She wanted this trading post girl gone. She knew she needed to allow Clarke to do what she wanted, and if that meant spending time with Niylah, then so be it, but Lexa could not help her jealousy, and she wished that Clarke did not expect her to spend time with Niylah too.
After Lexa's gruff remark, Niylah avoided her like the plague, not daring to address her again, and Clarke refused to look at her as well. Clarke's friends shot her sympathetic looks, but when the food arrived, Lexa refused to look at anything other than what was on her plate. The other five table inhabitants conversed easily, almost as if Lexa weren't there, and she was left to brood in peace. She sat quietly for several minutes, ignoring everyone around her until the people at the table brought up a topic that drew Lexa's attention.
"That bracelet is beautiful." Raven pointed to the object on Clarke's wrist. "Where'd you get it?"
Lexa noticed that it was exactly the same bracelet that she had looked at earlier. The one that matched Clarke's eyes. She was suddenly curious as to why the blonde had gotten it.
Clarke glanced down at her wrist before saying, "Oh, Niylah bought it for me."
Lexa's lips turned down in a frown. Now Niylah was buying the blonde gifts? Clarke was Lexa's, and she wanted to make sure this woman knew it.
"I did," Niylah confirmed, "It's absolutely beautiful, and it goes well with her eyes, don't you guys think? This man—"
"Clarke." Lexa interrupted before Niylah could continue, and Clarke turned to face her, a small glint of annoyance sparking in her eyes. Suddenly, Lexa was kissing her. She knew she shouldn't because it was rude, but she couldn't help herself. Having this woman around who had clearly been attracted to Clarke at some point in the past set Lexa on edge, and having the girl buying her girlfriend a gift pushed her right over it. She didn't like the fact that this other girl had seen all of Clarke, had been intimate with Clarke, but it was even more unsettling that Niylah had been intimate with Clarke before Lexa had. Niylah had Clarke first, and now Lexa couldn't help the feeling that she was trying to take her back. Lexa wasn't surprised when she felt Clarke pushing her back a moment later, without even bothering to return the kiss.
"What the hell is wrong with you today?!" Clarke snarled.
"She bought you a gift, Clarke. That is what your girlfriend does. She is clearly trying to win you back," Lexa argued, and she hated how crazy she sounded.
"No, she's not. If you had let her finish, you would've heard that she didn't go up and pick it out for me and give it to me the way you are thinking. A man came over and offered it to me, said he made it specifically for me, but I did not want to accept it for free. Niylah argued that it was too beautiful not to accept, so she bought it for me. She's not trying to win me back, and you are acting like a child. Grow up, Lexa."
Lexa cringed at the disappointment she saw in the blonde's eyes, wishing that she could erase everything that she had done in the past few minutes. It made sense now. The man had asked Lexa about the bracelet because he had made it special for Clarke, and the commander would know better than anyone else if she would like it. He might have even mentioned it to her that he was giving it to Clarke, but she had been too focused on the two women that were talking behind him to notice. She hung her head in shame, and she knew she had messed up.
"Come on, Lexa. Let's go take a walk," Bellamy said.
She was grateful for the excuse to get out of the room, even if she knew he was just going to yell at her anyway. She easily accepted his offer, following him out of the room and down the corridor to go stand on the balcony at the end of the hall that looked out over the streets of Polis. The dining hall was only on the fifth floor so they were able to easily see what was going on in the marketplace. She and Bellamy stood in silence for a few moments, but it became unbearable, and she only wished for Bellamy to say whatever it was he needed to say.
"So what is it you brought me out here for?" Lexa kept up a formal tone.
Bellamy was not fooled. He already knew who Lexa was inside so he was not intimidated by her commanding exterior anymore. "You acted like an idiot, you know that?"
Lexa sighed, hanging her head. "I am aware."
"Good. You probably think I'm about to yell at you or something, but I'm not." Lexa's green eyes rose up to meet Bellamy's brown ones in surprise, and he smiled. "We all act like idiots sometimes. We just have to realize it and try our best to make it right again."
"And how do I do that?" Lexa asked him.
"Offer to sleep on the couch," Bellamy suggested, "I've learned that when a girl is mad at you, she will often make you sleep on the couch. Maybe if you offer to do so before she tells you to, she will become less mad."
Lexa never thought in all her years as commander that she would ever give up her bed to some girl and offer to sleep on the couch, but she would do it for Clarke. Especially because she would be extremely hurt if Clarke actually told her to sleep on the couch, so she figured it would be better to offer first. "Okay. I will try that."
"I know that Clarke's mad at you now, but I promise she'll come around. Probably sooner than you think. She loves you."
Lexa looked out over her people. "I shouldn't have acted like that. I just love Clarke more than anything else in the world, and I didn't want to take the chance that she might leave me. I don't know what I'd do without her, you know?"
"I understand, Lexa. I've been in your shoes before." Bellamy laughed aloud when Lexa looked down at her boots, wondering why it was that the boy standing next to her would have worn them.
"It's a Skaikru expression," Bellamy explained, smiling, "I keep forgetting you're not familiar with our terms. It means that I've been in a similar situation. Anyway, I had a girlfriend on the Ark, and one time, at a dance, we ran into her ex-boyfriend from three years prior. She wanted to catch up with him, and I remember feeling the same jealousy you probably felt today."
Lexa turned her curious green gaze on Bellamy again. "So what happened? Did you act like a fool as well?"
Bellamy grimaced. "Worse. I punched him in the face."
"Oh." Lexa's eyes widened in surprise. At least she did not go that far.
"Yep, and she broke up with me two weeks later. You're lucky you didn't do something like that," Bellamy said.
"I am sorry," Lexa offered.
"Ancient history."
Lexa swallowed thickly, trying to hold in the tears that she felt at the thought that she had angered her girlfriend. "How long do you think Clarke will be upset with me?"
"I say not very long. Sure she'll be mad you acted so crazy, but she loves you more than I've ever seen her love anyone. Being mad at you will be just as much of a punishment for her as it is for you," Bellamy assured Lexa.
She surprised herself when she leaned lightly against his shoulder, drawing comfort from his touch. He looped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer, and she smiled, grateful that he was here and that he was allowing her to have this moment. It was nice to have someone who understood and who cared about her because she hadn't had someone she could confide in, well, ever. She had always had older people who mentored her and who she looked up to, and she had her nightbloods, but she was glad to have someone her age who she could just be friends with and who seemed to actually care about her. She had been wary at first of Clarke's friends, but now she found that she was actually glad that they were around. It was nice to have people other than Clarke who treated her as Lexa instead of the commander. She was just a girl after all, even younger than Bellamy, and she was glad he saw her as such. She was also extremely grateful that he was sticking up for her in this moment when no one else would. Bellamy seemed to sense her need for comfort because he didn't move away, allowing them to stand in that very spot as the sky turned black, and the stars blinked into existence.
When Lexa and Bellamy had left the room, Clarke turned back to face her friends, glad that her infuriating girlfriend was gone for the time being. She turned back to Niylah with an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry for the way she was acting. She had no excuse to be so rude."
Niylah's eyes twinkled in amusement. "Maybe if I told her that I was seeing someone else back in my village, then your commander would not have gotten so jealous."
Even though she was angry at the brunette right now, Clarke couldn't help the way her stomach fluttered when she heard Niylah refer to Lexa as her commander. "I'm glad you didn't tell her. She had no right to treat you badly just because we slept together a while ago. She deserves the jealousy for a while. I half want to sleep with you right now just to show her I'm not her property."
"Lexa doesn't think you're her property," Raven spoke up. "She's just afraid she'll lose you. She thinks that it'd be better for you to be with Niylah anyway since she's the commander and all. I think she feels guilty for taking you from a normal life, even though she clearly doesn't want to give you up."
"Like she said, I was born to lead. I never wanted a normal life, and she needs to stop making my decisions for me," Clarke snapped.
Raven sighed in exasperation. "She's not making your decisions for you. She just doesn't have a lot of self-confidence. I think she's a little scared to love. She's afraid you'll leave her and break her heart."
Clarke's head was spinning. She didn't know whether she should feel angry or sympathetic towards her girlfriend right now. "I'll talk to her about this later."
Raven stopped trying to defend Lexa, and Clarke was glad. She didn't want to talk about her girlfriend anymore after the insane way she had been acting all day.
"I should probably go," Niylah said.
"No," Clarke argued, "You don't have to leave because Lexa's acting like a jerk."
Niylah raised her eyebrows. "It is unwise to speak of the commander in that way."
Octavia laughed out loud. "Clarke could say anything to Lexa, and Lexa would do absolutely nothing. She'd never hurt Clarke."
Niylah smiled in amusement. "I see you have the commander wrapped around your finger. But that is not why I am leaving. It is getting late, and my father and I have to bring weapons to one of the nearby villages before dark."
Clarke nodded. "It was nice seeing you here, Niylah. I wish that Lexa would have been more pleasant."
"It is fine. I still had a great time catching up with you." Niylah held out her hand, and Clarke gripped it in the style of the grounders. "I am sure I will see you again."
Clarke simply nodded in agreement, and Niylah pulled her arm away, heading for the door. When she reached it, she turned back, shooting Clarke a smile. "Goodbye, future Hedatu."
Clarke rolled her eyes at the other girl, and then Niylah was gone, leaving Clarke sitting alone at the table with Raven and Octavia. They sat in silence for a moment before Octavia finally spoke up. "Wanna come back and hang in my room for a while?"
Clarke was immediately grateful for the offer. "Yes. I need some time to cool down before I face Lexa again."
"Understandable," Octavia said, "You can stay as long as you like."
Lexa was already in bed later that night, reading a book when she finally heard the door to her room open. When she had first arrived, Clarke had not been there, and she had decided not to fall asleep just in case Clarke did want her to sleep on the couch. The instant Clarke entered, she tossed the book to the ground, standing up off the bed and making her way over to stand in front of her girlfriend. "I'm so sorry for earlier, Clarke. I don't know what came over me. I was just afraid you would leave me for Niylah, but I know that what I did was wrong, and I should not have acted in that manner."
"Lexa, the only reason I slept with Niylah at the trading post was because I missed you. She was there, and I slept with her thinking that it would get you out of my mind or maybe that it would remind me of the way it felt to kiss you. When I woke up, I immediately regretted it, and that's why I left. Only to be captured by Roan," Clarke said, "The point being that I never really even had feelings for Niylah at all, and you need to trust me."
"I know, Clarke, and I am sorry," Lexa said, looking down in shame. "Would you like for me to sleep on the couch?"
Clarke's lips turned up in a smile when she said this, and she allowed Lexa to wait in silence for a few seconds before she finally answered. "No."
Lexa's brow furrowed in confusion. "But I acted like a fool."
"You're right. You did, and I'm glad you realize what a jerk you were." Clarke's eyes softened after she said this. "But I love you, and you're my fool. I will never replace you with anyone else, and I will never, ever leave you."
"I love you too," Lexa said, "May I kiss you?"
"No," Clarke said, and Lexa immediately felt hurt and disappointed, but she tried her best to push both feelings away. "I'm still mad at you, Lexa. You acted crazy today, and I'm not ready to kiss you yet, but I forgive you. Maybe I will allow you to kiss me tomorrow."
Lexa nodded, glad at least that Clarke forgave her. Clarke changed into her bedclothes and then wandered over to the bed, where Lexa joined her shortly. They lied down on opposite sides, and for the first time ever, Lexa wished that her bed were not so huge. It felt like she and Clarke were miles apart, and she wanted nothing more than to scoot over and wrap her arms around the blonde. However, she refrained because she was afraid that if she did, Clarke would rethink her decision to allow Lexa to sleep in the bed with her, so she was content to simply lie next to the blonde, even if it felt like she was very far away.
Lexa quickly found that she could not sleep without the blond girl. She was so used to the two of them sleeping curled up together that she no longer knew how to fall asleep on her own anymore. Clarke, on the other hand, seemed to have no problem falling asleep, and Lexa could hear that her breathing had already evened out. Lexa thought it was so much worse not being able to cuddle with the blonde when she was lying right next to her than it was when the other girl was away. It was like Clarke's comforting warmth was taunting her, and she had to restrain herself from succumbing to her urge to wrap her arms around Clarke anyway. Lexa couldn't stand the thought that Clarke was lying right there, and she couldn't touch her, but there was an invisible line between them tonight, and Lexa was determined not to cross it. She rolled onto her side, facing away from Clarke so that she was not taunted by the other girl any longer. After a few minutes of lying with her eyes closed, trying to fall asleep to no avail, Lexa felt an arm wrap around her waist, and she could feel the front of the girl whom she had previously thought to be asleep press gently against her back. Lexa sighed in relief as Clarke's hand came to rest upon her stomach, rubbing soothing circles there.
"I'm still upset with you, Lexa," Clarke whispered in her ear, "but we'll be okay."
Lexa didn't know how much she needed to hear those words until now, and she instantly relaxed against Clarke. After being awake for at least an hour, now that she was wrapped in Clarke's comforting arms, she finally, finally drifted off to sleep.
AN: Thank you to starperformer4343 for giving me the idea for this chapter! I hope it lived up to your expectations! :)