Author's note: First and foremost, I would like to apologize profusely for the extreme lateness of this chapter. This is the longest I've ever made you guys wait, and I feel just awful about it. But I think it was worth it, so I hope you'll forgive me. :)
Also, regarding Doof, I have good news- he's done sitting around and despairing. ;) Not saying anything else for the moment, but this chapter and the next are gonna be pretty epic! w However, I'll warn you here, the entire climax is not contained in one chapter, so it cuts off at a really dramatic part. But don't worry! I feel it my duty to remind you all here that I update every other week, so the next part will premier in good time, and not at whatever random date I feel like posting it on. I would advise you to write it down somewhere- it's gonna be pretty epic! :D
Also, this one was goingto be the longest chapter ever written...but it actually turned out to be too long, so I had to split it in two. XD Oh, well, more chapters is always better.
Oh, and before you read, I advise that you check my dA page and see the Disintevaporator-Inizer sketches I've uploaded. It's a complicated machine to describe, and I think things will go a lot better if you know what it looks like. :3 The link to my page is on my profile.
And as a last teaser before we begin; once, we studied Norman Rockwell in my art history class. Did you know that he gave himself a secret cameo in nearly all of his paintings? ;)
My word, this author's note has been long. All right, I'm done. Enjoy! ^w^
The sounds of battle echoed throughout Downtown Danville- the chaotic, clanging, headache-inducing sounds of orders being shouted and battle cries rising above the dust, of the sharp blasts of lasers and the huge BOOM of the Sonic Pulse Gun. It was impossible to ignore, no matter where you were in the city- although no one was really trying to ignore it anyway. Already, some citizens had taken up arms and rushed in to join the Rebellion on a passionate whim, excited to help. Others had hidden away in their houses to keep themselves and their families safe until the danger had passed, and still others were hanging out their office windows with open mouths. Somehow, the whole situation seemed very final, as if it were the last battle the Rebellion would be fighting- and since this kind of thing didn't happen too often in Danville (despite the other crazy things that did), no one wanted to miss it.
However, to say the battle could be heard anywhere was a bit of an overstatement- there was one place where its sharp sounds could not penetrate. That place was deep within Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, high above the other buildings around it, nearby where Perry's temporary holding cell was located- and, in sharp contrast to the outside world, it was nearly silent.
Prior to the battle, Perry had spent a fitful night in his holding cell, reflecting bleakly on the events of the past day. Everything had happened so quickly, he hardly knew what to think anymore- and sometimes, he wished he didn't have to think at all. After all, nearly every thought that came to him was hopeless and full of hurt, and they just never seemed to end.
Locked in the cage that was his cell, the agent drew his knees up to his chest and put his arms around them, closing his eyes to the scene around him. He had been there so long, it seemed, that he could picture every detail of the room; the guards standing by the cage in the corner, the other guards standing by the doors, with their eyes staring into the cage with an unnerving watchfulness, and the overall emptiness of the place. There was nothing there, except for him, the guards, and the cage, and only one door served as the entrance and exit. The familiar purples and greens of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated were painted on the walls, but they gave him no comfort- rather, they were the reason he shut his eyes so tightly. After everything that had happened to him, Perry didn't want to think about his nemesis at all. Even after he had been left in peace at the jail, his troubles had not ended- and though he didn't want to think about it, he couldn't help but relapse into those painful memories from the previous day…
(Music time! And no, I'm not kidding with the crazy title. XD Go look up 'Portal 2 OST Volume 2- PotatOS Lament')
The talk with Doofenshmirtz had not gone well at all.
Not that Perry had expected it would. In fact, when the guard told him that his nemesis had come to visit, Perry had initially considered an attempt to refuse, even though he was fairly sure it wouldn't work. It wasn't that he didn't want to see anyone, it was just that he dreaded the argument he was sure would arise from the visit. And what an argument it had been- looking back on it, he couldn't help but wince and hug his knees a little tighter. After hearing that his own nemesis hadn't remembered their Neme-Versary again, for the second time in the last five days (or eight years, possibly- Perry didn't even want to try to think that one through), he had begun to wonder if it was a day worth celebrating at all- and that was not a particularly comforting thought to have when he was trapped in a jail cell all alone, awaiting the doom that he knew would come eventually.
That night at the jail was no better. Having nothing else to do, Perry had simply curled himself up in a corner of his cell and attempted to fall asleep there, so he could be spared from his endless worries for a few hours. Unfortunately, even this was not very fruitful, for despite the long day he had had, it was the very exhaustion he felt so sharply that kept him awake. It didn't help when suddenly, the lights outside the cell flickered out and there was a huge commotion from the guards, who, unknown to Perry, were very alarmed at the sudden loss of power. Their confused shouting irked him even more than their usual raucous yelling, and he covered his ears in a vain attempt to escape the noise and find the silent relief he longed for.
Just a short, confusing half-hour later, all the lights were back on and Perry had hardly noticed a thing. All he knew was that for some reason, there had been an immense amount of shouting outside, and he didn't know why- but considering these were LOVE MUFFIN guards, he decided they were probably just arguing over something stupid. Perhaps one of them had spilled a drink on the other's newly dry-cleaned jacket, or someone had made a corny joke that caused a ruckus. These thoughts only distressed him further, and he wondered how anyone could argue over such petty things when so many terrible things were happening all around them. This, in turn, reminded him of his dear boys, alone somewhere in a cold jail cell; and finding this a thought too upsetting to ponder, Perry finally drifted into a short-lived sleep that was filled with dark remnants of dreams.
The next thing he knew, it was still incredibly late at night and one of the guards was rousing him, while another set about fetching the handcuffs from the previous day and a thick metal collar. He was then led out of the jail, with several thickset guards around him and the large and rather awkward collar locked around his neck and shoulders, and loaded into a van that took him all the way to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. He could hardly see the building through the early morning mist and his own tiredness, but the sight of it gave him shivers.
Seeing this, one of the guards in the front seat turned to his companion and asked, "You think he's awake enough now?"
The other guard turned around and examined the platypus, then shrugged. "Probably. Besides, we gotta show him sooner or later…" And he pressed a button on the dashboard, which lit up red. A TV screen promptly descended from the ceiling in the back of the van, met with a somewhat confused and uneasy glare from Perry- and when it flickered into focus, the wrinkled and sinister visage of Rodney appeared on the screen. Perry narrowed his eyes at the screen and growled under his breath, although he knew it was probably just a prerecorded message.
"Hello there, Agent P," drawled the evil scientist, smirking down at him. "You're probably wondering where we're taking you, and why you're being taken there. Well, I hate to break it to you-" here he snickered to himself, as if he had just made a clever joke, and continued, "but there's been a little problem at the eastern jail- a breakout of sorts- and I'm afraid the party will not be starting anytime soon."
He paused here with a self-satisfied smirk, while Perry just raised an eyebrow. Eventually, his expression changed to a frown and he demanded, "That's a joke, you know! Why aren't you people laughing?"
"Radneyh, wat ish tat even shupposed to mean?" asked a nearly incomprehensible voice from somewhere off screen, accompanied by a few other confused ones ("Did he just say you should pose to something?"). Rodney rolled his eyes in scorn.
"It's a Miley Cyrus reference!" he argued, looking quite exasperated. When his remark was met with further silence, he added, "What, you never listened to her?"
More silence, during which someone coughed awkwardly. Eventually, the voice from before replied in a disconcerted tone, "…You did?"
Rodney bristled, seemed to consider replying, and then sighed. "Look, the point is- earlier this night, a shocking event occurred at the eastern jail. It seems your precious family tried to break out of jail, with absolutely no thought of the consequences whatsoever- not even that little threat we posed about hurting you if they did!" He donned an expression of mock astonishment and added, in a very false sounding voice, "Such a shame…I guess they must not love their pet quite so much as you thought they did. Maybe they're planning to replace you with a cat or something!"
At this, there came a good deal of snickering from off screen, and the evil scientist took the liberty of giggling along with his friends. "Yes, thank you for laughing that time…it was funny, wasn't it?"
On the contrary, Perry's face had gone completely white (not that you could tell, thanks to his fur) and his eyes were widened to their fullest extent, the dark orbs shining brightly. Phineas and Ferb had what…?
In the front seat, one guard snickered and said, "Is that the most deeply horrified secret agent platypus you've ever seen, or what?"
His friend just nodded solemnly. "Ee-yup."
However, Rodney wasn't finished yet. In fact, he was really just getting started. "Sadly, they'll never get that kitty," he continued, imparting a terrible sense of dread with the words. "It's rather a sad thing; you'll have to let me explain."
And then, he told the lie. The one lie that he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would finally break the unbreakable.
"You see," he began, appearing the very picture of remorse, "some of our guards happened to be testing out my new Disintevaporator-Inizer in the parking lot at the time. It's a very powerful ray, you know, capable of destroying anything it comes into contact with- and I'm afraid the encounter didn't end well for your dear boys…"
At this, Perry's eyes widened even further than they had been before, and he took a sharp breath. It was as if someone had pierced his heart and stopped his world all at once, and in the sudden terror that had fallen upon him, he could think of just one word.
No.
Rodney sighed with a mock sadness, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry…" he said, closing his eyes in a very solemn way. Eventually, someone giggled, and a malevolent grin spread across his face. "…that I couldn't have been there!"
With that, all the other scientists broke into evil laughter at the sheer cruelty of it all. Perry just stared, his entire body going numb. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. He could hardly even hear the cackling of the scientists as they praised Rodney's evil humor, mixed with the guards' badly-concealed guffawing to themselves. It couldn't be true…it just couldn't…
At last, Rodney and his cohorts finished laughing, and the scientist began to speak again. "Still, somewhere in my evil heart, I can't help but feel that it's just terrible to keep you apart from your family for so long. So don't worry- this morning, first thing after dawn, you'll be reunited with them forever. And I can assure you that I won't miss that!"
And with that, he gave a final evil chuckle, and the TV screen went black.
Perry was completely silent. Even the guards were quiet, waiting for some sort of reaction. However, no noise came from the back seat. At last, one turned around, wondering if the agent hadn't just dropped dead on the spot. Upon turning halfway, he saw that this was nearly the case.
Perry was standing motionlessly, staring with vacant eyes at the now blank television. His pupils had shrank as if in a harsh light, and his mouth had gone slack. His mind was buzzing with a thousand thoughts and worries, and yet was completely empty of all reason and sense, and that alone was enough to stagger him greatly. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Phineas and Ferb would never, ever betray him unless they had some sort of plan- but it was the latter part of Rodney's speech that had really struck him.
An accident with the Disintevaporator-Inizer…
Somewhere deep inside, Perry's heart told him they were okay- but all manner of dark possibilities began to crowd that hope out, each pushing harder than the first. Every 'what if' that came into his head was too much for him to take, and his small certainty was soon buried beneath all this misery. What if it was all a lie, and the poor things were still captured, unknowingly awaiting their own demise? Or, on the other hand, what if Rodney was telling the truth, and there really had been such an accident? The thought was like a terrible wound that he couldn't quite believe he had sustained- crushing, unbearable, inescapable, and horribly real…
At length, he took a gasp of air and directed his eyes back down at the floor, his expression beginning to change from numb disbelief to absolute horror. The world was suddenly blurred, and there was a pounding in his ears. His head spun, and he blinked hard to try to clear his flooded vision, to no avail. All at once, his strength gave out- and slowly, hopelessly, he dropped to his knees, hardly remembering to take a few harsh gasps of air as he sank to the ground. His thoughts began to drop away like snowflakes, leaving only a terrible desolation; his breathing grew ragged and uneven, and the tears fell unrestrained. Perry let them fall without care, for if what Rodney said was true, there was no reason to stop. Without Phineas and Ferb, his life was meaningless; without them, he was almost glad to just meet his doom and be done with it all. Their faces flashed through his mind, all the memories they shared, one after another with no relent, until they were flowing almost as fast as the tears that streamed down his face and into his wetly gleaming fur. He couldn't even brush the thickly flowing streams away, nor would he have attempted to do so if his hands had been free. What did he care anymore? If Phineas and Ferb were really gone, then he would rather face his demise and see them again than waste another moment on the face of this miserable earth.
It's over… he couldn't keep the words out of his head as they repeated themselves endlessly, and yet he kept denying it hopelessly. It's over…it's all over…
Through the perpetual sobs, he didn't notice as the van stopped with a slight shake. There came the sound of a car door opening, and before he knew it, the guards were getting out. But even as they led him up into the building, closer and closer to his own end, he did nothing more than follow limply, eyes shut tight and head hung low.
The unbreakable had been broken- Perry was defeated.
Elsewhere at the bottom of DEI, amidst the furious fighting taking place there, the rebels had at last scored a point. The fake Phineas and Ferb had managed to reach the doors to the building, rushing inside and taking out the security cameras immediately, and they were standing just inside the lobby now, both breathing hard and looking quite exhilarated.
"That went well!" said Phineas happily (or rather, Irving), panting heavily but grinning all the same. "So, what now?"
"Well, we could try to get to the top of the building to help the boys out," Ferb said in between breaths, grinning excitedly and glancing at the elevators. "That sounds like fun, doesn't it? Ooh, but we mustn't disrupt the plot! Plot first, eh, Irving-?"
Just then, he was interrupted by Phineas, who suddenly exclaimed, "Ooh, look! They have doughnuts!" And he promptly dashed over to a table on which a plate of doughnuts sat, looking very tempting. "Phineas loves chocolate doughnuts! I'll just take one so I can stay in character…"
Ferb's eyes went wide, and he sprinted after the boy. "No, wait, I wouldn't do that if I were you! This is probably going to hurt-!"
But just then, stunning beams flew from the shadows and hit both of them, stopping Ferb mid-sentence and making both of them yelp in pain ("I told you so!"). They both fell to the ground immediately, and out of the shadows stepped Joe and Dean, each looking very satisfied with himself and holding a long rope.
"I can't believe how easy that was!" Joe exclaimed in ecstasy, envisioning an even bigger promotion that he and Dean would surely be receiving sometime soon. "Dean, your trap was brilliant!"
"And symmetrical!" Dean added joyfully, kneeling down beside Phineas and brandishing the rope. He began to tie it around the struggling boy, who squeaked in fright. As he did so, the rope that he was holding suddenly brushed against the redhead's ear and caught on something there- something invisible. Dean raised an eyebrow and looked down at the rope in confusion, wondering what it had gotten snagged on.
"Hey, what gives?" he asked, reaching down to pull the rope away. Phineas gasped and flinched as he did so, and in a moment, it was clear why- when Dean pulled at the rope, it pulled off a small disguise module that had been resting on Phineas' ear, and the hologram that had been projected around the boy suddenly disappeared. Quite suddenly, Phineas was gone- and in his place sat Irving, wrapped tightly in ropes and looking very embarrassed.
"Aww," he whined in his normal voice, looking at the fallen device. "And I sounded so cool as Phineas."
At this shocking turn of events, both minions gasped, and Joe exclaimed hotly, "Wait, who are you? You're not the rebel leader we were after!"
"You're not even symmetrical!" Dean added, looking quite horrified and very disappointed at the evident lack of symmetry.
"It must have been a decoy," Joe mused with a furious scowl, staring into the middle distance. He was livid at having been tricked so easily, and it showed clearly in his bright-red, scrunched-up face. "So, if you're fake…then who's your friend?"
Irving squealed in terror, and Joe glanced suspiciously down at Ferb, who he had just finished tying up. Ferb just snickered unexpectedly, as if he knew exactly what was going to happen, which only seemed to further enrage Joe. Baring his teeth in fury, he reached down and ripped off the disguise module that sat on the boy's ear, and the hologram disappeared.
The reaction was instantaneous. Dean blinked and knitted his brows in confusion, his mouth hanging open stupidly. Joe's eyes went wide and his eyebrows shot up, as his jaw dropped in shock. All the color went out of his face and he suddenly became quite pale, as if he had just seen a ghost. For a moment, both of them just sat and stared, looking rather comical, while Irving looked from one to the other and giggled quietly. At last, Joe recovered his wits, groaning loudly and slapping a hand to his forehead. "Oh, not you again!" he bawled, as if it was some old nightmare come back to haunt him. "Dean, lookit! It's that girl we arrested for being annoying!"
For there sat a teenage girl with lightly tanned skin and excited-looking brown eyes, wearing a shirt with Perry's face on it and a Perry hat to match, underneath of which her messy black hair stuck out. She seemed immensely amused by the whole situation, especially by the minions' annoyance.
"What are you doing here?" Dean demanded, still looking rather stupidly shocked.
"Makin' a cameo!" the girl answered cheerfully, wearing a rather out-of-place smile. "See, I wore my Perry hat for this and everything!"
Joe responded with a loud moan. "And she's still just as annoying as before! Worse, even!"
"She's freakin' annoying!" Dean agreed vehemently, although he didn't seem too sure of what he was talking about.
"Watch your mouth, young man," the girl scolded lightly, disregarding the fact that she was clearly much younger than him. "If you keep that up, I may just delete you from the story entirely. Authors do that sometimes."
Dean looked somewhat terrified by this, but Joe ignored it. "Augh, we should have known it wasn't really them!" he lamented, clenching his fists tightly. "After all, they were acting totally out of character and weird the whole time."
"Speaking of that, how come you're allowed to act all out of character and break the fourth wall, anyway?" Irving asked, looking somewhat skeptical.
The girl just shrugged, saying, "Creative license."
"Dean, quick! We've got to warn headquarters about this!" Joe ordered, still attempting to ignore his odd prisoner.
"Ooh, sorry, that won't work," she chirped. "Dean accidentally dropped his phone somewhere while he was capturing us, didn't you, Dean?"
Dean gasped loudly, then plunged his hands into his pockets and began to search feverishly for the phone. After a moment, he came up empty handed, wearing a light blush of embarrassment. "Well, Joe, I hate to say she's right, but…she's right."
The girl burst into a fit of giggles at this, quickly joined by Irving (just for the heck of it), and Joe groaned loudly. "Dean, you moron! Now we'll just have to run up there and warn them ourselves, 'cause they took out the cameras too!"
With that, he leapt up and began to rush towards the elevator, abandoning the prisoners without a backward glance. Dean jumped up after him and began to follow, leaving a terrified Irving behind him.
"Oh, this is not good!" he whined, struggling weakly against the tightly-knotted ropes. "If they uncover the plan, we're toast!"
The girl just smiled. "Bah, don't sweat it. They don't even reach the elevator."
Irving opened his mouth to reply, looking bewildered and upset, but just then he was interrupted by a huge shattering noise from the front doors. Behind them, the glass doors had suddenly been broken down forcefully by a laser blast, sending splintered and cracked window glass everywhere. Irving squeaked loudly and the minions gasped, whirling around in horror- but before anyone could react any further, two stunning beams shot from the direction of the doors and hit both minions square in the chest, sending them flying right into the elevator doors they had been about to reach. A heartbeat later, they were both collapsed on the ground in heaps, Dean murmuring something about daisies in his stupor.
Thoroughly alarmed, Irving turned to the front door and gaped- for standing amongst the glass and holding Sonic Pulse Guns threateningly were none other than Candace and Jeremy, each wearing a rebel uniform and a triumphant grin.
"Now that's what I call busting!" Candace exclaimed happily. Then she paused, frowning, and remarked. "Whoa, déjà vu. Have I used that line before?"
"Yes," the girl confirmed, now giggling uncontrollably. "Yes, you have!"
"Weird! I don't remember when I would have said such a thing…"
"I can name the episode if you like!"
"Episode?" asked Jeremy, blinking in confusion. "Wait, are we talking about a TV show or something?"
"Well, technically-" the girl started, visibly on the verge of a long tangent. Thankfully, she was interrupted by Irving at the last moment.
"Look, whatever! Now, would somebody please untie me?" he whined, still struggling against his ropes. A moment later, the rescuers complied, and the ropes came off.
"Now what? We can't just leave Phineas and Ferb on their own up there!" Candace fretted, glancing at the ceiling.
"I agree, they'll need reinforcements," said Jeremy with a nod. "But how to get there? We can't all fit in the elevators!"
"Some of us could," suggested Irving meekly, glancing at the stairs in dread. He hadn't pointed them out on purpose, because it was the last route he wanted to take- but in a moment, Candace had come to the same conclusion, and she wasn't afraid to say it.
"Then we'll have to take the stairs!" she announced fiercely, pointing at the stairwell with conviction in her eyes. Jeremy nodded, Irving gulped in terror, and behind them, the girl giggled excitedly (which was taken as an agreement). Just then, the other rebels broke through the LOVE MUFFIN defense line and swarmed into the lobby, all yelling loudly and brandishing their laser guns. Immediately, more guards began pouring out of the stairwell- but Candace only grinned, undaunted.
"All right, you guys!" she called to her companions, tossing Irving's dropped disguise module to him as she spoke. "For my doofus brothers!"
"For Phineas and Ferb!" the others echoed gallantly, retrieving their Sonic Pulse Guns and raising them high.
"Let's do this thing!" Candace yelled by way of a battle cry- and with that, they rushed back into the fray, and the battle began anew.
Just a short time earlier, at the top floor of Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, most of the LOVE MUFFIN officials weren't paying attention to the events going on below- but excitement was buzzing in the air nonetheless. Orange-gold sunlight poured in through the windows, whose shades had been pulled aside, and it gave the place a sort of eerie, final look; an appropriate setting for an execution. The entire LOVE MUFFIN committee had gathered in the lab, which had been cleared of its usual clutter to better accommodate them, and while some of them were finishing setting up, most were talking eagerly of the ceremony they were about to watch. None of them seemed to mind that there was a huge battle going on at the bottom of the building, each convinced that their soldiers would take care of it easily.
Along the back wall, several rows of raised chairs had been erected for the scientists to sit on, softly cushioned seats and all (although how they had gotten the things into the building, no one quite knew), and in front of these, positioned prominently at the center of the room, was a huge machine. The sunlight glanced off its highly-polished, steel-plated sides, illuminating the complex-looking control pad and glinting off of a huge laser sticking out from the back. It was comprised of a large cockpit from which to control the machine, with several steps leading up to it and a seat inside. Behind that, a huge mechanical arm stuck out, with several segments that appeared to be moveable. On the last segment of this arm were several disks, leading to a pointed end with four spikes surrounding it. It looked like the sort of thing one would see in a science fiction movie- huge and deadly, carrying a sense of power in the very air around it.
Of course, such an impressive machine was hard to ignore, and it had attracted a small crowd of onlookers since being brought to the building. Several scientists were crowded around the cockpit, admiring the huge laser, and four guards at the door were watching curiously from their positions. Naturally, Rodney just had to be in the thick of it all, gloating about his creation smugly while they all admired his work.
"Oh, this? It's nothing, really," he said in a falsely humble voice. "Just a little thing I threw together for the occasion, you know. The blueprints actually belonged to Doofenshmirtz originally, but he never used them, and since he's been busy these past few days, I thought I'd finish it for him! I'm sure he doesn't mind, do you, Heinz?"
Across the room, Doofenshmirtz glanced at the machine and frowned, seeming very worried and a little frantic. "Uh, sure. Whatever. I'm kind of busy right now."
Just then, the doors opened and Professor Periwinkle came in, holding a large cardboard box and looking very excited. Upon seeing him, Doofenshmirtz perked up and ran to meet him, completely ignoring Rodney and his friends. The bald headed scientist watched him go, then rolled his eyes. "Ugh, so hard to communicate with. No wonder they're friends!" And they all burst into laughter.
But Doofenshmirtz didn't care. He was too excited over the package that the professor had brought.
"There you are! What took you so long?" he asked, stopping in front of the professor as one of the four guards closed the door behind him.
Periwinkle groaned. "Oh, twaffic's just tarrible, Doofy! Tere's rebels wunning willy-nilly, and even the citysens are revolting now! But the worst paht tis, tey've taken awl teh good pahky spaces."
Doofenshmirtz just rolled his eyes. It was hard to understand what the professor was talking about, but from what he gathered, he could conclude that the man was a total nutcase. Then he glanced down at the package, and his face lit up. "You got it!" he exclaimed, grinning at the box. "How'd you do it? I thought you had to have special clearance or something!"
"Wellh, ah just towld tem ah wus gonna borrow tis ray gun tingy," said Professor Periwinkle cheerfully, "and tey sed it was fine! They looked a little cunfoosed, dough, and ah just koodn't figure out wah."
Doofenshmirtz stared blankly at him for a moment, trying to decipher the words in his head. At last, he gave up and turned to the package instead. "O-kay…so, now that it's here, what should we do?"
"Wayt until tey bring 'im in, ah guess," said Periwinkle with a shrug, handing the box to Doofenshmirtz. "Hear you go, Doofy. Gud lack!"
Doofenshmirtz nodded nervously, his hands trembling as he held the package tightly. "Thanks…I'm probably going to need it."
With that, the professor ran off to the stands, his role complete. However, the moment he was gone, Doofenshmirtz blinked in sudden confusion. "Wait. 'Good luck'- that is what he said, right?"
Of course, he received no answer, so he just sighed and followed the professor, knowing that his own role was about to begin.
"There he goes," one of the guards commented, watching Doofenshmirtz's retreating back. "He looks really on edge. What's up with that?"
"I don't know," another shrugged. "Maybe he's mad at the boss." And he nodded in Rodney's direction pointedly.
"Well, that makes sense. The dude is kind of a hater," the third added, narrowing his eyes at the bald-headed man.
"You know, I don't get that word. I always hear it on the web, and I just don't get it," the first added, scowling in thought. "What's haters, precious? What's haters, eh?"
The fourth spoke up unexpectedly, staring off into space as he did. "Hey, what do they plan to do with that platypus? Does anybody know?"
"Boil 'im, mash 'im, stick 'im in a stew," the second man giggled, grinning widely. And with those few words, they all broke out into hysterical laughter.
Meanwhile, Perry had been removed from his holding cell and was now being taken to the top of the building, chained and handcuffed once more and utterly miserable. It was the second time he had been led to his doom this summer, he mused. But this time was definitely worse. Last time, the boys had been with him, and Candace, and even Doofenshmirtz. Sure, they had all been about to die- but they had been about to die together, working as a team to escape that fate. Now, Perry was alone, with no chance of escape at all…
But he brushed that thought away as quickly as possible, unable to dwell on it for too long. He could not bring himself to think of Phineas and Ferb anymore; it was just too painful. As for Doofenshmirtz, he dreaded the thought of seeing him at the top floor, but there was no doubt that the evil scientist would be there. What would he be doing, Perry wondered? Awaiting his nemesis' arrival eagerly, excited to get rid of him at last? Or just standing there awkwardly, the way he had been when he came to visit at the jail? Either way, Perry didn't like the thought of it. He didn't like the fact that he was going to be destroyed in his nemesis' building, either- the very place where he had escaped death so many times before. Suddenly, he was flooded with memories of past battles and schemes, the few times when he and Doofenshmirtz had actually gotten along, and even memories that weren't related to the place at all, such as Phineas and Ferb and the times when he would sleep on Candace's bed uninvited. The sudden rush of emotion was too painful to withstand, and before he knew it, his eyes were obscured with tears again. He only wished it would all be over soon…
"All right, we're here. Someone tell the boss we're ready."
"Yes, sir."
A few moments passed, and Perry let his gaze drop to the floor. It really was over now, literally. When he passed through those doors, he was going to be destroyed, and there was nothing he could do about it. The final chapter. End of the line. Game over. However you wanted to phrase it, it all meant the same thing, and he was approaching that thing at lightning speed…
Inside, everyone had found their seats, and Rodney was standing by the Disintevaporator-Inizer excitedly. "Oh, Heinz! Come here for a moment," he called, waving for the doctor to join him by the machine. Doofenshmirtz, who had been looking into the box from a secluded spot, hastily closed the lid and looked up furtively.
"What for?" he asked, approaching his rival cautiously.
"Well, I was just thinking," Rodney started conversationally, speaking loudly enough so that the others could hear them clearly, "this is technically your machine, and it's your nemesis we're destroying today. It just seems right that you should get to do it, don't you agree?"
Doofenshmirtz blinked in surprise and fell silent for a moment, trying to think of a good way to refuse. "Umm…well, I don't know…"
"Oh, come on, Heinz. You know you want to!" said Rodney temptingly, ignoring Doofenshmirtz's uncertain expression. He turned to the stands to make an appeal, calling, "Don't you think he should get to do it, everybody?"
The scientists gave a loud cheer of encouragement (although some didn't quite seem to know what they were cheering about), and Rodney grinned. "See? We're all behind you on this one!"
Doofenshmirtz bit his lip. If only that were true… At last, he said, "Well, normally I wouldn't mind, but…"
"But what?" asked Rodney, seeming a little miffed that Doofenshmirtz hadn't accepted his offer right away. "I thought you hated your nemesis."
"I do!" Doofenshmirtz protested. "It's just…it's kind of hard to destroy someone after you learn they have family and everything. I'm not sure I can do it."
Rodney just laughed, as if Doofenshmirtz had made a joke. "Oh, don't be ridiculous, Heinz!" he sneered. Doofenshmirtz remained very disapproving, refusing to give up ground that easily. If he was to go through with his plan, he needed to be far from the machine, someplace where no one could see him, and that wasn't going to happen if Rodney managed to rope him into helping. At length, Rodney sighed.
"All right, then- let me tell you a little secret that you missed last night," he said slyly, leaning forward a little. "After you left, we came up with a brilliant idea to ensure our victory over your nemesis, and it's already been put into effect." At this, a twisted, sinister grin spread across his face, and he said, "So if you're worried that it's going to be hard, don't be- he's pretty much crushed. For you see, Agent P now believes…that his family is dead."
At these words, Doofenshmirtz's eyes went wide and he gasped softly, shocked by this sudden turn of events. For a moment, he was silent, and in this silence, a single thought came into his head.
You dirty liar.
But before he could react to this thought, the doors began to open slowly and Rodney blinked in surprise. "Oh, here he comes now! Quickly, Heinz, you get in here and I'll stand on the steps. Don't worry, you'll do fine!" And without warning, he opened a small door on the side of the cockpit and pushed Doofenshmirtz up the steps and inside, closing it behind him. Doofenshmirtz whipped around to argue, but upon doing so, he tripped and fell into the chair behind the control pad with a loud, "OOMPH!"
The other scientists snickered briefly at this, but just then, the doors swung fully open, and they all fell silent. Into the room came two guards, each holding a thick, black metal chain. In front of them, his feet dragging and his eyes closed, was Perry. His hands were tied behind his back, and the heavy metal collar around him seemed to weigh him down as he walked (or staggered, really) toward the Disintevaporator-Inizer.
As he approached, someone in the crowd gasped, "Oh, he's just little!"
"Deadly, though," another scientist whispered in response. "Give him so much as a spoon and he could knock you out cold."
At last, the guards came to a halt, and the chains attached to Perry's collar clinked loudly, alerting him that they had stopped. Slowly, unwillingly, he opened his eyes and looked up, despair shining in the dark brown irises. Doofenshmirtz stared back for a moment, looking rather terrified, and then looked away- he could no longer bear the sight. Surrounded by his eager colleagues in the stands, Professor Periwinkle glanced at the abandoned box nervously, then at Doofenshmirtz, as if asking what he planned to do. Doofenshmirtz shot him a sideways glance of uncertainty, then shrugged slightly to say that he had no idea what to do. Periwinkle bit his lip, his glasses enlarging his concerned eyes to ridiculous proportions. "Uh, oh, Doofy…"
And so the silence continued to stretch, as Perry gazed absently at the huge machine before him and Doofenshmirtz wracked his brain for something to do. At length, Rodney said quietly, "Ah, Heinz, since you seem to be at a bit of a loss for words, I'll just say a few for you."
He cleared his throat, and attention shifted to him immediately. "Friends, colleagues, and our enemy," he began, sweeping an arm out grandly, "allow me to welcome you today on behalf of the League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness!"
Everyone cheered immediately, and the evil scientist grinned. Under any normal circumstances, Perry would have been scowling at them all and struggling madly- so it rather unnerved Doofenshmirtz when the agent simply directed his gaze to the ground again, closing his eyes in a pained way. What, nothing? Not even an eye roll at the ridiculous name?
"Everyone looks great today," Rodney commented, gazing around at the crowd. Then he turned back to Perry, saying, "Well, everyone except for our guest here. I must say, you look terrible!"
There was a small roll of laughter from the crowd, and Rodney continued with his speech. For Doofenshmirtz, however, that all faded into the background. As he observed his nemesis, he couldn't help but note that Rodney's words were certainly true- Perry really did look terrible. His fur was gleaming wetly again, which meant he had been crying, and there were slight shadows under his eyes. He even looked slightly thinner than usual, perhaps from stress, and the expression resting on his face was enough to make him look ten times worse. The one feature that stood out to Doofenshmirtz, however, was the fact that he wasn't wearing his hat. He just wasn't the same without it, and combined with his exposed features, it was difficult for Doofenshmirtz to recognize him at all. Was that really his nemesis? It was hard to believe- but then again, he didn't know any other platypuses who had that much control over their facial muscles.
Meanwhile, Rodney had finished addressing the scientists, and he seemed to be nearly finished with his brief speech. "Well, I think I've talked enough," he said, "and by now, we're quite ready to say goodbye, aren't we?"
More cheering from the crowd. Rodney grinned insincerely and at last turned back to Perry, who eyed him with a hollow stare. The grin widened and he proceeded to taunt him, saying, "What's the matter, agent? Isn't this the part where you escape?"
Perry looked away, his gaze landing briefly on Doofenshmirtz before it fell once more to the ground at his feet. Rodney's grin melted into a malicious smirk, and with a nasty tone, he commented, "I guess some routines aren't made to last."
With that, he nodded at Doofenshmirtz and said grandly, "He's all yours, Heinz. Remember, in one little flash of green light, this'll all be over- and then we can get back to our normal lives."
Doofenshmirtz didn't quite know how to respond to that, so he merely took a deep breath and turned back to Perry. His nemesis was still staring at the floor, and he seemed quite resigned to his fate. However, Doofenshmirtz knew that if he just had something to motivate him, along with some kind of distraction, he could change the tide…but what?
Out of options, he shut his eyes and squeezed his hands together in his lap, desperately trying to think of a way to execute his plan. However, nothing came, and he knew only that he couldn't do it alone. He needed some kind of distraction- anything that would give him the time he needed to do what he had to do. He needed help; and as soon as the thought entered his head, the last word began to echo desperately, the phrase ringing true every time. For a moment, it seemed that help would never come- but then, something happened that no one, under any circumstances, could have predicted. A ghost of a voice penetrated the room, barely reaching Doofenshmirtz and prompting him to look up slowly. A shadow, he saw, had fallen over the semi-transparent roof. Then more shadows joined it. And then, it happened.
BOOM!
Shrieks filled the room as the skylight shattered, allowing five figures to fall through and land, one after another, on the floor below. Rodney fell off the Inizer's steps promptly with a loud shriek, while Perry's guards jumped in shock and screamed in extremely high, girlish voices, only to fall on top of one another a moment later. Perry's eyes widened in shock, and he whirled around, the chain clinking wildly. For a moment, no one could see anything through a small cloud of dust and debris, but it wasn't long before it cleared. Upon seeing who it was, Rodney's face twisted in shock and hatred; Perry's eyes widened even more, and he gasped in a choked voice; and Doofenshmirtz, after recovering from his immense surprise, grinned. Well, he had asked for a distraction; and this would definitely do.
For there, standing back to back with the boys in front, were Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet, all holding Sonic Pulse Guns and looking very determined. At the head of the group, Isabella on his right and Ferb on his left, Phineas smirked.
"Well, Ferb," he said, gazing around the room, "looks like we've arrived right in the middle of the party!"
Ferb smiled placidly, one eyebrow raised cockily. "And parties are all about rebellion."
To be continued…
XD Shameless self-insertion goin' on there…
Well, this has been an extremely confusing chapter, methinks. If anyone is wondering about anything, just ask (or go look up 'Boil 'em (Potatoes)' on Youtube XD). I can't answer everything, though.
Oh, and before I go...
TATERS. OwO