Hanging In There
Hermione set down her folder and rubbed her temples, barely aware of the professors exit or the marauders dashing out. She had to get a hold on her emotions before she let something slip too early. Something touched her shoulder and she turned to see Lily sitting on the chair-arm. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just a lot on my mind," Hermione took a fortifying breathe. Lily looked at her with sad eyes for a moment then quickly pulled her into a hug.
"You can do this," she whispered. "You've been strong this far, don't give up."
Hermione pulled away, "I just wish I didn't have to feel it all over again."
"We talked about death before didn't we?" Hermione nodded glumly. "Everyone has to die someday but we can change how they go, give them full and happy lives. And -" Lily crouched down in front of her holding her hands, "if my boys are going to go, I want them to have had that." Hermione tried to tell Lily she had nothing to worry about. She tried to say there was no reason to think that but the words clogged in her throat. Lily seemed to hear the truth anyway and tears began to brim. She checked behind her to make sure the marauders couldn't hear them, "Can it be helped?"
Hermione shrugged helplessly, "I hope so. I couldn't bear the idea that I told you what would happen and you couldn't help yourselves…just waiting for the end to come."
"We will do what we can," Lily promised. "But if we can't, that's not your fault. Like you said, what is meant to happen will happen."
"You're right," Hermione bobbed her head quickly. "Let's go see what those three are up to." They both rose, hoping against hope that tragedy wasn't in their destiny.
The guys had decided to surprise the girls with sandwiches and lemonade. James and Remus were making the sandwiches while Sirius cut some lemon slices. All three were silent but kept on looking each other with slight frowns. Finally Sirius put his knife down, "Okay I'll say it, we -" he gestured between himself and Remus, "may die." There, the words out but by saying it, it was almost as if they had become solid material objects – very real and impossible to ignore. Sirius waited for his friends to say something but they remained mum and he became frustrated, "We accepted James and Lily's deaths and vowed to change it. Why is this any different?"
"Sirius is right." James braced the counter, "This is war, death is always on the table. We should be focusing on finding out everything so we can fix it."
"We're scared," Remus said quietly and the other two looked at him. "We have only one shot to get this right and if we fail…"
"We won't," Sirius said firmly. "We're marauders, we don't give up."
James nodded, straightening up, "We can't lose heart now, lives are counting on us."
Remus seemed to rally his strength, "Right, we have to keep with it, now is not the time to go to pieces. We just have to make sure that we plan carefully and do our best to shape the future correctly. But if something happens to me -"
"Don't mate," James stopped him. "We'll deal with it when it comes."
Just then the girls entered the kitchen, "What are you lot doing?" Lily asked approaching the counter.
Like the flip of a switch, Sirius became jovial, "SANDWICHES AND LEMONADE FOR OUR DEAR LADIES!" he declared brandishing the lemonade pitcher, causing the liquid to slosh dangerously.
"Okay! Okay!" Hermione laughed, her hands outstretched in case he actually dropped some. "Let take this to the living room, the professors will be back soon."
They arranged glasses, plates and the food on the coffee table and settled back down. Lily sipped her lemonade with Harry in her lap, "I'm so excited, my little boy had his first kiss. I wonder if he's going to ask Cho out too…"
"If his dance date is anything go by," James groused.
"Stop already," Lily whacked his arm. "Give it a rest." James just grumbled some more under his breath.
The fire blazed and the professors returned. Dumbledore surveyed the room, "Good to see you all in slightly better spirits."
"We're hanging in there." Remus motioned towards the table, "Please, have something."
"Why thank you Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore selected a sandwich. "I haven't had a good peanut butter and jelly in more years than I care to admit; the trials and tribulations of having such a long beard. Minerva?"
It seemed as though McGonagall was having a hard time holding back an eye roll, "None for me thank you Albus. And may I remind you, it was by your own choice that your beard grew so long. I did offer to cut it years ago."
Dumbledore sat down, "True but if I may remind you, you were rather cross with me at the time and I didn't much like the idea of being hanged by it as the latter half of your offer suggested." For one moment the absurdity of that statement took over and everyone snickered. "Ah laughter," Dumbledore said satisfactorily, "the best medicine."
"Thank you for that Headmaster," Hermione giggled. He was right she did feel more buoyant, but there would be no amount of laughter that could help them through the ending.