Heya all well *tear* this is the last chapter I have to say this was a freakin wonderful rush. This story is one of my baby's and the fact it brought a bunch of you happiness reading it means the world to me. Especially as it took me FOREVER to finish so thanks to EVERYONE who stuck with me love you all.
Star
Xx
Track Listing
Gotta Find You by Joe Jonas
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT to
The Queen of Confusion
TheSwannsSparrow
Mina Ina Cooper
Lucas4everPeyton
tanith-4486
You guys ROCKED with your super speedy FREAKIN FAB-TASTIK reviews
IF I missed anyone out I am sorry I love you all
oOoOoOo
"When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things. Define the moment, or let the moment define you."- From Tin Cup
~~~~~{
Previously
Taking a deep breath Buffy felt her eyes flicker amongst the three choices again and again squaring her shoulders Buffy let the tears fall freely down her face she knew what she had to do turning to her mother for the last time she whispered
"I love you" as she squared her shoulders and started walked towards her chosen path
~~~~{
*CONTINUE*
Reaching out her hand she felt another reach out to meet hers long pale fingers intertwined with her own pulling her close to his body her body sighed in relief as her soft curves met his hard planes. She smiled looking up to meet his cerulean blue eyes. Slowly she felt the ache and throbbing leaving her body looking down she saw all her wounds healing until she was finally whole
*END DREAM*
Waking up with a gasp Buffy rested her head against her knees, the dream was so clear, so vivid she knew she couldn't ignore it, she didn't WANT to. Her heart had made its choice and consequences be damned, throwing her legs over the edge of the cot she scrambled up the stairs her chest heaving from the complete emotional and mental epiphany she just had, it was him... it was ALWAYS him she was so blind. Throwing open the basement door she faintly heard the sound of a plate shattering on the floor as Willow jumped from the sudden noise. Standing still for a moment she only heard the blood rushing in her ears and the slow painful beating of her heart. Where would he go? Did he leave? She felt a hand on her arm, looking up she saw Willow's worried eyes stare into her own.
"Buffy what's wrong" she said softly
"Everything" she moaned softly "I really screwed up Will's" as the tears started burning her eyes again.
"Honey..." Willow started Buffy cut her off
"I-I need to talk to Spike" Buffy sucked in a shaky breath glancing at the clock it read midnight as if mocking her, letting her know this was one of the times he could safely leave her.
Willow cocked her head to the side something was up, the tiny red head thought back to Spikes own dramatic exit from the basement only a hour ago. She remembered the loud snarl he let out when Xander tried taunting him once more, and how Dawn's blue eyes widened with worry as she tried to stop the blond vampire from walking out the front door. Even Tara, joined in using her silent ways to try and calm down the vampire and get him to remain in the house. At first she thought it was because of Buffy's instance everyone stay together but now seeing her blond friend so frazzled and upset. Willow had the distinct feeling that there was more to the story and someone had ripped pages from her notes.
"Buff, Spike left about a hour ago... actually pretty much right after he left the basement, he well he hopped on his motorbike and I... I haven't seen him since"
Willows words hit her like a slap in the face, mumbling incoherently under her breath Buffy backed out of the room and her body moved robotically to sit on the stairs her eyes glistening with unshed tears rested on the door. Through her haze she heard the gang talking to her but it was like she was listening underwater their words distorted as her green eyes bore into the rich mahogany door.
It was just a door now however she felt it become her prison warden, she knew it was unsafe to leave the house with the spell on her, all kinds of nasty's could and would take advantage. The door also taunted her he had left through it... left her.
He wasn't here, she felt the tears that she had been holding back finally break free from their dam as the fat tears stained her now pale cheeks. A soft guitar melody filled the air as the words her heart was screaming finally spilt from her lips like a waterfall of pent up emotion
Every time I think I'm closer to the heart
Of what it means to know just who I am
"Oh Buffy" whimpered Dawn as her sisters anguish washed over the group Dawn knew that her pain came from Spikes departure .
As Spike leaned against the tree she felt each word that rolled off Buffy's tongue strike him like a ray of sunshine. Pulling his fist back he punched the tree relishing in the pain as his fist entered the hard flesh of the tree. He knew it would hurt her to find out that he had left but he sighed as he extracted his fist he needed to cool down move away from the situation before he did something stupider moving closer he listened to the next part of her song
I think I've finally found a better place to start
But no one ever seems to understand
Buffy let the tears roll down her face her mind taunting her
'he's gone, gave up, you're not enough... he's gone, gave up, you're not enough'
Gone....
That word was the bane of her existence almost everything she loved was gone. Thats when she felt the warm tingle rush down her spine... Spike was he here
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be, you're not that far
Moving slowly Buffy walked until she was standing at the door reacing out a hand she touched the cool wood before resting her forehead against it. She was sure he was here she could almost smell him. You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
As those words slipped free of her lips everyone, couldn't help but remember the last time she sang, the words that turned their insides into blocks of ice.
'Give me something to sing about. I need something to sing about.'
Giles watched with a heavy heart, his slayer was in pain... and once again it was their fault, he sighed it was time he accepted that his slayer was once more in love with a vampire,
'At least' he mused 'Spike is better then Angel the poncy bugger' as he looked around at their little makeshift family he could see that the others were thinking similar things as they watched their slayer who looked so broken and alone. Spike had brought their Buffy back, she had her reason to sing!
Buffy took a deep breath her free hand reached out and gripped the cold metal of the door knob and twisted pulling the door open so hard a audible crack could be heard.
Oh yeah
Yeah yeah
Buffy's breath caught in her throat, there in all his leather clad glory stood Spike his hand still held against the wood of the door. Letting out a small sob of relief Buffy took a deep breath as the music urged her to continue. As she stared into his blue eyes the words slipped out easily.
You're the remedy I'm searching hard to find
To fix the puzzle that I see inside
Painting all my dreams the colour of your smile
When I find you It'll be alright
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be, your not that far
"never far pet" Spike whispered his own eyes boring into Buffy's the two of them lost in their own little word as one of Spike pale hands reached out and trailed his long fingers down her bronze cheek before rubbing the pad of his thumb over his full pink lips. You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
Xander watched the interaction between his best friend and one time crush and the blood sucking leach, he hadn't seen Buffy this happy in a long time. And the words of her song were not lot on him as he remembered once more how lifeless Buffy had sounded during Sweet's last spell
'Give me something to sing about. I need something to sing about.'
How could he deny his friend anything? Could he REALLY push his hatred for Spike away? He had helped even when he though Buffy was lost to them all, he was the only one Dawn would let look after her. And he HAD made a better pool partner then Giles. Maybe just maybe he could accept this... whatever THIS was.
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
Her heart rejoiced and beat wildly against her chest, it felt good to finally say what her heart had been screaming. Been feeling lost, can't find the words to say
Spending all my time stuck in yesterday
It was true she HAD been living in the past and now it was time to live for the moment...
Where you are is where I want to be
Oh next to you... and you next to me
Oh I need to find you... yeah
As spike gripped one of her tiny hands in his own larger ones he whispered softly
"You found me love"
You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you (yeah)
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
Tara let out a happy sigh the aura's surrounding the blond pair were beautiful never had the good witch EVER seen. The colours melding and moulding into each other. A happy smile graced her face true love was a rare and wonderful thing indeed
You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing Yeah, yeah... I gotta find you
I need to find you (I need to find you)
I gotta find you (I gotta find you)
You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
As the last note fell from her lips Buffy launched herself into Spikes arms her emerald eyes stared into his cerulean orbs looking for any sign of hesitation. Seeing none she crashed her lips onto his own. Willing every his to understand what her body was telling him knowing that her mouth would more than likely not cooperate and blurt out something wayyyyyy out in left field. After a moment she pulled away and whispered
"I love you" her heart rejoicing at the ease of saying those three words, saw smiled softly as she watched the play of emotions run through his eyes until they warmed consumed with his love for her
"I love you to pet"
As Spike pressed his lips to hers once more a gasp escaped Dawn's mouth as everyone glowed a fiery red Spike and Buffy pulled apart worry etched in their eyes as the glow increased until everyone had to cover their eyes. As the glowing increased a mystical wind started to rage around them causing everyone to hold onto each other as the wind increased a loud and angry scream rang out chilling the gang to the bone when suddenly the scream and wind stopped and the fiery glow left their bodies and disappeared. Tentave eyes glanced around the room
"Is it over" squeaked Xander peering out from under Anya's arm
Spike let out a sigh
"Time to hand in your bloody man card Whelp you soddin pansy mamma's boy"
"Hey!" started Xander realising he was still cowing behind Anya quickly stood up and puffed out his chest
"Ooo look at the big manly man" snickered Spike looking around Buffy saw her friends... no her FAMILY smiling happily at her willow, Tara, Dawn and Anya giving her the thumbs up, Xander smiled goofily and shrugged his shoulders letting her know he was ok with everything as much as he could. Finally her gaze rested on Giles a award winning smile crossed her face as her father figure mouthed 'Be Happy'. Buffy reached out her arms wrapped them around Spikes waist smiling up at him as he matched hers with his own warm smile as he draped his arm over her shoulder and held out his free arm for Dawn. Who immediately wrapped her arms around the both of them finally their family was complete.
oOoOoOo
A/N: nawwww only the epilogue to go and that's only gonna be short I feel it I am sad to see this story laid to rest many thanks to everyone who stayed along for this long ride you rock and I love you all
Xx