"Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy."
Cynthia Nelms

Why Ron had spoken to me baffled me for days. I tried my best to avoid him but it seemed like he was trying to get me alone to talk. But I was never alone so he was failing if that was the case. Blaise sometimes would glare at him as we passed by like he knew Ron was up to something but I never told Blaise my suspicions.

As each day went by, the weather was getting warmer and the anxiety of OWLs was getting worse for the fifth years. I myself was not too worried but I sat in the library most nights with Ali anyways. Sometimes helping friends if they asked for it or if they looked like they were about to pass out.

The one-night Blaise had joined us but not for long. He kissed the top of my head after a half hour and told me he had some business to attend to with Draco. I gave him a weak smile, I was actually upset that he was leaving. He just smiled gliding his fingers across my cheek giving me goosebumps. I watched him walk away and sighed that I had nothing to entertain me tonight. Or keep my mind off the fact that tonight was a DA meeting and it was the first one I was missing.

Ali didn't seem to mind not going since she was one of those over worried fifth years freaking out about OWLs. I didn't give her the real reason why I didn't want to go but I knew she was not a stupid twit and would know it was because I didn't want to see Ron. The more I saw him the more I missed him. No one could make me laugh like he did. Blaise didn't have the sense of humor Ron had. Blaise only had his romantic side and extreme protective side. Which both were adorable but I wouldn't complain if he made me laugh more often.

"Are you going to sulk all night?" Ali gave me a very stern look over the top of her charms book

"I am not sulking" I glared at her crossing my arms over my chest

"Yeah...sure you're not" I could only picture her rolling her eyes at me since the book was back in front of her face

For some reason I couldn't sit still. I had this feeling that something was wrong. Then it made me think something might be up with Blaise. Worry started to hit me harder and this made me not want to sit still even more.

"What has gotten into you?" I hadn't noticed Ali giving me weird looks

"Nothing...I need to go" I grabbed my books and rushed out of the library, leaving Ali with a confused look.

I needed to know that Blaise was ok or even my brother, I didn't want either of them to be hurt. So, I wondered the castle but there was no sign of them and soon it was getting close to curfew. I wasn't one to mind breaking the rules but it just wasn't as fun when I was all alone and had no idea what I was really trying to find.

I started my way back up to the Ravenclaw tower. Which somehow, I had managed to get myself to the other side of the school. After I had giving up my quest on finding them it made me lose my urge to have to walk so I was strongly not enjoying my walk back. The only good thing was I started to hear voices of a group of people which made me want to play spy.

I peeked around the corner, seeing a group of Slytherins standing in a circle with Professor Umbridge. I swore under my breath and quickly went back around my corner and laid flat against the wall worried she had some super radar system in her head. After a few minutes I heard their footsteps walking in the other direction and I peeked my head around the corner again.

I noticed a blonde boy's head that I knew had to be Draco. Which made me think that Blaise was somewhere in that crowd. That led to my stupid ass following them to find out what was going on. It didn't take long for them to reach their destination and I had found a clever hiding spot where I had a good view of them. But I still didn't figure out why they were stopped in front of a random wall looking at it.

Then it hit me. That was the room of requirement, and the DA meeting was going on at this very moment. Not to mention I had no way of warning them. In my head I was freaking out. How did they figure it out?! Who told them?! What are they doing!?
All I could do was sit and watch and hope to god that they would not find a way in. Which my hopes were lost when Umbridge started to blow the wall to pieces. My heart had dropped to my stomach when I saw them dragging out Harry, Ron and Hermione. I almost screamed out a no, but held my hands tightly over my mouth. Tears were starting to pool in my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

I sat in my hiding spot till no one was around. I think I even sat there for a while after people had left. I was in shock; my body wouldn't let me move. The worst part was I would have been in that room if I wasn't so stuck on not being around Ron. The thought of Draco having to drag me out of there in shock and disgust would have been devastating. Even Blaise would of gave me a disapproving look.

So I sat there on the cold stone floor as silent tears fell down my pale cheeks. I was too scared to move.

"I can't believe Dumbledore is gone" Ali whispered to me in charms

"I know, the school feels different. Everyone seems scared or confused" I Whispered back starring at the other students as they worked silently

"Alright students that's good for today" Professor Flickwick called out and we started to gather our things

"So have you noticed that Ron has been staring at you a lot more lately" Ali asked walking next to me as we headed down for dinner

"Huh" I gave her a weird look

"He is always staring at you when I see him" Ali seemed to be looking over at something "Like now for instance" she said as we walked into the grand hall

I looked in her direction and indeed Ron was staring at me and he didn't look away when our eyes locked. He held a sad expression and it made me want to walk up to him and give him a huge hug. But I couldn't even if we were dating not with so many people around. I watched him walk out of the hall and I had the urge to follow.
Before I noticed what I was doing I was already down an empty corridor with him only five feet in front of me. When he stopped walking I did. It was silent for a moment. Both of us thinking of what to say.

He turned and faced me, with the same sad expression on his face "Everything feels so different" was all he said, his eyes on the ground

"Everything is different" I told him still five feet away

He lifted his head up to look at me "Yeah, but at least I could have had you"

I gave him a confused look "What do you mean?"

"I could have had you through all of this and it wouldn't be so bad" His voice was weak, he was having trouble saying the words

I sighed "Yeah but you chose not to"

He took a few steps closer to me "You know that it would be easier this way"

"No it's not, it's hard either way" The anger in me came out, I was still mad at him, mad at myself for not fighting for him but I didn't want to be some pathetic little girl fighting for some stupid boy. I was stronger than that. I was a Malfoy, like it or not.

"I know this now" He took even a few more steps now just a foot away "And I wish I could take it back"

"It's too late" I told him looking away, tears in my eyes but I couldn't let him see me cry

"no it's not, I will not let you say that" He grabbed for my hand but I moved it away "We could go back to how we were, I could try harder to find out how to get you out of that house"

"No Ron, maybe I should stay with my family. They are all I have no matter how horrible they are, in the end it's all I have." I still refused to look up at him

"Please" he whispered inching a little closer to me

"I can't Ron, I'm sorry" I told him and walked back to dinner, I didn't look back and he didn't come after me.

I couldn't just go back to how it was. Not now, not after Blaise made me realize how important family really is in the end. No matter how much I still wanted Ron deep down, we just couldn't be together yet not till things in this world were back to normal.
But I never know if they will get better, if the dark lord is alive or not. But I wasn't going to make decisions until I knew fully it was what my heart wanted.

Hi everyone :) We are getting close to the end I believe I only have 2 more chapters of this then strongly thinking of a squeal. Thank you to all the followers and comments they make my day and I hope you are enjoying the story and hopefully you will like the ending.