Fifty Shades of Secrets

Chapter 21: Fifty Shades of "Girl's Day"

Anastasia Steele,

My smartphone was the only remaining tether to the real world, and when I finally took it out of my bag Saturday afternoon, it was sobering. Christian's contact in my phone was still new, but I was sitting in his bed in Escala as if it was where I'd always been. A contract had been drawn up for Pemberley Abbey but there was still a contract for our custody agreement sitting on Christian's desk. I was expected at work on Monday morning, eight am sharp for a meeting with Scarlett, but returning to New York City was the furthest thing on my mind.

What was real?

Seattle or New York? This weekend or the last three years? A fledgling of a relationship or my long-held prejudice against Mr. Grey?

This realization was odd mainly because it didn't frighten me. I was content not fully understanding it or stamping a label on everything. My urge to run was subdued, and I didn't have to overthink all of our conversations. Maybe he wasn't so hard to figure out if I stopped trying…

Okay, that's bullshit. I brushed off the thought and returned to the email I'd been pouring over since it arrived in my inbox thirty minutes ago.

….

To: Anastasia Steele

From: Angela King

Miss Steele,

Congratulations! Your apartment in the village has an offer, and the seller is willing to take possession within the month. I've attached the details, but I think it is a solid offer. I'd love to meet with you on Monday morning to discuss and fill out paperwork.

Best regards,

Angela King, King Realty

….

It felt like a proper ending. When I'd purchased my apartment, it was my first sign of independence. After living with my mom in Savannah, a family friend in Atlanta, and renting a tiny apartment with an hour's commute when I first moved to New York, it had been an amazing moment when I picked up the keys and opened my own front door for the first time.

Every inch of that small apartment was covered in memories. My son learned to walk on the pre-war floors. I'd gotten the best job offer of my life sitting in that living room. I assembled a dining table for the first time in my life and only sustained minor injuries, and I ended many uncomfortable first dates with the help of my doorman. The idea of getting rid of it was heartbreaking, yet it felt… inevitable.

This was the next step. I didn't need an apartment to prove I was independent, nor did I need even need to prove anything. So much of my time had been spent worrying about other people's opinions. I knew Scarlett and Kate would kill me if they found out I sold my apartment and considered moving back to Seattle. It was a sign of "weakness."

But what did it matter if I was weak? I've always been weak. I feign strength at the sign of trouble, and this was the first time I wasn't running away from something. No, I was running into it. This relationship-as odd as it may be- was worth a chance. Furthermore, it was something I desperately wanted. This mattered. Kate's opinion, not so much.

"Back to bed already?" Christian's voice made me jump, and when I looked up, of course he looked fucking beautiful. It didn't matter that he barely got any sleep or that he'd chased Theodore around the park we met Grace at. He was never unattractive. There were no dip-fell-on-my-shirt, I-haven't-slept-in-a-week, shut-the-fuck-up days.

"You never let me sleep," I laughed softly, playfully pouting as he crossed the room. His hand rested on my thigh as he leaned in to kiss my forehead, and my breath caught as his hand slowly moved up my thigh to my hip as he whispered in my ear.

"Would you have rather slept, Miss Steele?" Goosebumps dotted my skin as his hot breath tickled my ear.

"No," I squeaked, and Christian's laugh was so warm and deep that a broad grin spread across my lips. I tugged on the edge of his belt, and he easily complied, sitting next to me on the bed. I settled against him and relaxed as his fingers tangled in my hair.

Christian motioned towards my open laptop, kissing my nose as he asked, "Porn?"

Trying to keep a straight face I replied, "Gave up. Couldn't find anything kinky enough."

"A good anal fisting is hard to find these days," he whispered, and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head. He wasn't actually into that…. Was he?

"You'd know?" I swallowed. No matter how hard I tried to keep an even voice, I practically sounded like Mickey Mouse. Surely, he wouldn't expect that. Some of the kinks were okay-good even. But that… my face paled.

"Don't worry, Anastasia. I was teasing," Christian stifled a laugh, "No one is doing that to you… Unless there's something I need to know."

"Okay," I murmured, caught on the idea of going beyond vanilla. I still had my hard limits, though defining them was still a bit out of my reach. Even with the help of UrbanDictionary, I knew so little that I doubted I could really wrap my head around the many uses of the Red Room. While Christian may have changed, I wasn't entirely sure I had. I'd grown up, yes. I took care of myself and a child, but beyond that, I was as naïve as ever.

"So, if not watching porn, work?" Christian questioned.

"No… Avoiding it right now. I'll catch up on the plane," I bit my lower lip, feeling strange about bringing up New York. It felt like a topic that, at least for today, didn't exist, but I knew it did. Ignoring it was unrealistic and ridiculous, but that didn't make it any less awkward as I explained, "An offer on my apartment. I was about to look at it."

Immediately, his interest peaked, and I knew he probably saw this as a stepping stone to me moving to Seattle. And was it? Shit, I didn't know.

"I didn't know you put it on the market," Christian was naturally pleased, "Village, right? Sells fast. That's exciting."

"I didn't think it'd sell that fast. They just started showing it," I was complaining. Why was I complaining?

"You can always keep it," Christian suggested, reading into my tone, and I shook my head. No, I didn't need to keep it. It was absurd to hold on to an apartment just because I'd cared about it when I bought it. I wasn't exactly moving back in any time soon.

"No… It's just weird. Makes it all a bit more real," I admitted, shrugging again.

"What more real?" Christian questioned, wanting some sort of embarrassing declaration, but instead, I just smirked.

"That I drunk-dialed my ex on vacation."

Christian avoided laughing at first by clamping his mouth shut, but caving into it, his forehead fell against the side of my head as he chuckled. I loved making him laugh and was still amazed I could do it. By all accounts, I was remarkably un-funny, and Christian was rumored to have been born without a sense of humor (though these rumors also went hand-in-hand with his asexuality).

"Sarcastic little thing, aren't you?" Christian's lips pressed to my forehead.

"Maybe," I bit my lower lip and watched as his eyebrow raised.

With his eyes trained on my lip, his finger traced it, pulling it free from my teeth. "I like your lips far too much for you to abuse them," he smirked as he leaned in for a deep kiss, and pulling away from me just enough to speak, he added, "That's my job."

Chuckling into his kiss, I wrapped my arms around his neck in an attempt to keep him there, and I grinned into his lips when it worked. There was something about being close to Christian that escalated my need for him. A kiss was never a kiss. I wanted more. Effortlessly and smoothly moving over me, his hand wandered from my chin. His gentle touched raised goosebumps all the way from my neck to my hip, where it finally rested. Firmly grabbing my hips, he pressed me further into the mattress, making me moan softly into his lips.

It was when he started to unbutton the top of my shirt that my mind completely blanked. I was focused solely on getting the rest of it off (and other clothing, too…). Which is probably why I missed the high heels down the hall, the humming at the doorway, and the knock on the door.

"Anastasia? Christian?"

Oh fuck.

Pulling away as quickly as I could, my eyes shot to the bedroom door where my fears were confirmed.

Perched in the middle of the doorway was Grace Trevelyan Grey, M.D. herself. Even when she was on call and dressed in lazy Saturday attire, she was as elegant as ever. A woman who could wear a white pantsuit even with the threat of being called into the hospital was a woman not to be messed with, and she'd just caught me making out with her son. I felt like a teenager as I awkwardly tried to pull my shirt down, but in my rush, I made matters worse by pulling too far and allowing black lace to peak over the top. Shit.

"Hello, mother," Christian was… amused. I was surprised- and even jealous- that he lacked my mortification.

"I hope you don't mind me stealing Anastasia. Mia has planned out our afternoon," Grace smiled at her son as I scrambled to sit up.

Afternoon with Mia. Right.

Thanks to the excitement of this morning, I'd forgotten the plans I'd made before I even gotten to Seattle. While I was still fighting with Christian, Mia took the opportunity to plan my Saturday. To avoid the sunrise yoga and mid-day spinning class she'd wanted, I'd offered this afternoon to hopefully bond with my son's aunt. Had I known that it would mess up my sexy weekend with Christian, I'd have been far more tentative, and if I'd been smart last night, I'd have faked some minor cold that required my ass in bed.

Offering an apologetic smile, I said, "Right, it'll be really fun."

Grace's smile was far more genuine, though I couldn't tell if it spawned from amusement or good nature. "I'll give you a few minutes to freshen up. Love you, Darling," Grace disappeared down the hall after blowing a kiss at her middle child, and I sat on the bed in horror.

Christian was suppressing a grin. Shithead.

I shot him a glare to prove it, and he only smiled wider. He was enjoying this far too much as he moved closer to me. The new proximity was just close enough to drive me crazy but not enough to satisfy. Resting his hand on my inner thigh, he whispered, "Too bad, that shirt would have looked far better on the floor."

His wink made my knees worse, and before I could declare intentions to blow off his family in favor of new-couple sex, he took the decision away from me. After standing and giving me the tiniest kiss on my forehead, he also disappeared down the hall.

Accepting my fate, I begrudgingly got out of bed and did my best to "freshen up." Opting for the innocent pieces in the closet, I hurriedly got dressed and swiped a layer of concealer to hide my we-fucked-all-night dark circles. The entire time, I debated how to approach alone time with Grace.

Grace was an amazing, lovely person that I loved spending time with, yet spending time with her felt like a landmine. The wound was undoubtedly fresh after all I'd done. Yes, I'd provided her with her first grandchild, but I was also the bitch from hell who kept him from her. I'd lied to her directly in Puerto Rico, and even if she was the wiser last night, I'd lied to her again about the hickeys. Our track record was flawed, but through I wanted to change that, rocking the boat was less than favorable. I didn't want to remind her of my sins.

Even in my teenager-mentality, I knew it wasn't actually a big deal she'd seen me kiss her son. He was thirty, for fuck's sake, and he was clearly not as celibate as she imagined since he had a toddler running around. But it did mean that she knew about our attempt at a relationship, and the questions she might ask and the expectations she'd hold are terrifying. What if we weren't a success? What if this didn't end in the fall wedding and ten kids like Mia hoped it would? What if we were doomed to crash in flames within the next six months?

"Grandma!" Theodore's giggle echoed through Escala, and my heart melted. I could do this. I could totally do this…

"Oh, Anastasia," Grace smiled warmly at me, standing with ease despite the toddler on her hip. Theodore's chubby cheeks were covered in pale pink lipstick, and he was so excited. How Grace turned a cranky pre-nap toddler into an angel, I didn't know. But it was endearing and fairly impressive. Brushing her fingers through his unruly curls, Grace asked, "Doesn't Mommy look beautiful?"

"Boot-iful," Theodore giggled, and I rustled his hair, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead.

"You're going to stay with Daddy while Grandma and I go out for a little bit. You and Daddy will have so much fun!" I took his hand in mine, squeezing with enthusiasm, but he hardly needed my encouragement. He adored Daddy. Like most toddlers, Theodore still saw his parents as heroes instead of mild inconveniences, and Daddy, in particular, was "Hero Daddy."

And when Hero Daddy himself started to come downstairs, Theodore's eyes lit up, and Grace looked like she could have cried from joy as her son held out his arms to hold his son. With Theodore secure in his strong, firm grasp, Christian smiled wide at his son, and then I almost cried from joy.

"So much fun," Christian repeated, "But… only after nap time."

Theodore pouted, "No nap!"

"Yes nap," Christian shook his head, carrying the toddler to his room upstairs, and the entire way up, I could hear their debate.

Grace and I were silent as we walked to the elevator, both still thinking about how adorable the boys upstairs were. It wasn't until we were reaching for different elevator buttons that we had to say something. I was grasping for the parking garage while Grace was pressing the ground level.

"We can walk," Grace explained with a playful smile, maintaining the secret.

"Where are we walking?" I asked, hoping she'd give in.

"Mia would kill me if I told," Grace gave me an apologetic smile as the doors opened, "You'll have fun, I promise, Ana."

The city was reprieved from the rain for now, but the ground was still wet and proved a challenge for my balance in low wedges. Effortlessly, Grace navigated Seattle's downtown while I struggled to remember a landmark. All of the trendy restaurants and bars had been replaced with even trendier spots, and as I passed hipsters in the street, I realized how uncool I was.

The more we were silent, the more I felt the need to fill it but lacked the words. Finally, I settled on talking about our biggest common interest, Teddy.

"How was Teddy this morning?" I asked, happily filling the conversation void, and Grace beamed as she turned towards me.

"Oh, he was lovely," Grace tucked a lock of sandy blonde hair behind her ear, "You know, none of my kids were ever as well behaved as little Teddy. Elliott was a terror. When he hit his terrible twos, he stripped down in the middle of church. I was terrified he was going to pee on the organ."

"Really?" I laughed in surprise. Elliott definitely had the appearance of a former wild child, but I'd have never thought he went that far.

"Wait for the teen years, Sweetie. Even Mia had a bit of a rebellious stage," Grace nudged me, "Luckily, that consisted only of a boyfriend with a motorcycle and an unfortunate pixie cut."

"Well, I didn't have much of one," I admitted, "My big rebellion was moving in with my dad in Washington. So, hopefully, Teddy takes after me." I was tempted to enquire about the one child she'd yet to bring up. I was sure that she was purposefully avoiding discussing Christian, and I wasn't entirely sure why. Was it purely in hopes of not bringing up me making out with her son, or was there something they just didn't talk about?

I didn't know much about Christian's childhood. I knew about his teenage years and the bitch of Mrs. Robinson, but his childhood was a mystery. And I feared it was a dark one at that… Maybe that's why I didn't press. If it was as bad as it seemed, Christian should be the one to tell me, or perhaps I was best left uninformed.

Grace stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, and I nearly tripped over myself in surprise. Struggling to keep my balance on the damp sidewalk, I leaned on a nearby street light for help. Grace was so deep in thought that she barely noticed, or she was far too polite to comment. Considering the events of the last twenty-four hours, I was beginning to think she was always too polite to comment.

"We haven't talked much, have we?" Grace began, squeezing my hands in a motherly gesture, "I know I must seem like an emotional old woman, but I've wanted to say this for a long time. Basically from the moment I've been Theodore."

Shit. No. I didn't want to have a big blow out in the middle of Seattle.

"It's alright," I tried, terrified I was walking into a bursting damn. She'd held in so much about my wrongdoings. She didn't call me out like Carrick when I arrived. She didn't show her disbelief of my airplane bruise story. She didn't even say anything when she saw her son in bed with his estranged baby mama. She was bound to explode at me, but that didn't mean I wanted to take it.

"No, it isn't," Grace shook her head, "I'm aware this is not the best of situations, and initially, we were not very welcoming. But… I have spent twenty-six years worrying about Christian. As a child, he went through so much, and though he's a success and has made such progress," Grace paused, struggling for words, "I didn't think he'd find this, and I know your relationship was not the best. I understand why you left, but thank you so much. Teddy has changed Christian. You changed Christian."

Oh.

I stood, shocked to silence.

She was… thanking me.

When she had something to get off of her chest, it was gratitude, not hatred.

"Grace…" I didn't know what to say. This had to be profound. This had to be relationship-altering. Yet, I couldn't come up with much of anything. "I'm sorry I kept him from you. I didn't really apologize, and I don't have a good explanation either. It wasn't fair to anyone, and I'd do anything to make it up to you."

Grace… laughed. What?

"Oh, Ana, clean slate, I promise," Grace squeezed my hand again and gave me one of the largest, mother-bear hugs I'd ever received, "I'm going to make us late. Mia is so excited about today. But I really do want to get to know you. You're everything I could have ever hoped Christian would find, and next time you're in Seattle, we can do something together. Unless… of course, you and Christian may be busy."

The way she said busy made me flush and cringe simultaneously. I wasn't escaping the make-out session as I'd hoped. Relieved that walking now silenced us, I gave her an embarrassed smile in lieu of a response, which made Grace chuckle.

"You young people and labels. Whatever it is, I hope it works out. I'm not nearly as blind as my children may think," Grace added a wink before stopping at our destination. I was so mortified at this revelation that I paid no attention to the trendy building or even the door handle shaped like a paddle brush and scissors.

So, I was surprised when I found myself stepping into a salon. The docile receptionist didn't get a chance to say a word before Mia practically leapt off of a plush chair and bounded towards us. The next thing I knew, I was enveloped in a tight hug and cheerful chatter.

"Ana!" Mia's smile was so bright and warm as she pulled away, "Surprise! I hope this is alright. I thought a spa day would be so much fun! Hair, nails, and facials if you're up for it. Just a girl's day," Mia giggled, squeezing my arm with such excitement that I worried my smile wasn't wide enough in return.

"Yeah, it will be a lot of fun," I smiled softly, relieved that this wasn't an overzealous workout class or endless wedding preparations. Surely, I could handle a trim and a layer nail polish even if it did mean getting this shirt off was further postponed.

While Mia started to explain the wedding-approved haircut she aimed for, Grace had disappeared into the sea of chic people with even more chic hair. In spite of the open space, the salon boasted only a select number of chairs and surely an outrageous waiting list to match. Everything was crème, black, or marble and remarkably spotless. I felt out of place, wishing I'd replaced my practical wedges with ridiculous stilettos even if I broke my ankle in the process.

Just as the fear of trendy trims and damaging dye jobs was starting to hit, Grace reappeared with a woman on her arm. Both giggling, Grace happily waved towards us, and Mia broke out into a grin.

"Aunt Elena!"

Aunt Elena?

The name felt familiar.

"Ana, this is my good friend, Elena Lincoln. She is one of our neighbors and closest friends. She was practically a second mother to these kids, especially Christian," Grace squeezed her friends shoulder, and my stomach dropped. "You know, she even gave Christian his first job. He worked in your yard, right?" Grace clarified, and I, too, turned my attention to the tall blonde.

She was one of the most beautiful women I'd ever seen. Elena was the kind who made flawless blowouts, a perfect figure, and six inch heels look effortless. In one hair flip, she possessed more charisma and poise than I had in my entire body, and her confidence was overwhelming. Surely, this couldn't be….

"Yes, he did. Such a hard worker. I knew he'd be a success," Elena agreed.

Oh shit.

This is Mrs. Robinson.

"Oh, it's so great to meet you," Elena outstretched a hand, though it was surprising she could even lift her thin fingers with such a large diamond perched in the middle. When I'd pictured her, I'd created an entirely different image. In my imagination, she was a wicked divorcee with multiple attempts at maintaining youth through plastic surgery. Even when Mia had described her as a loving aunt, I'd expected a wolf in sheep's clothing (or rather, sheep's latex). She'd been such a vindictive character in my narrative, but she seemed so… lovely. So beautiful. So normal, even.

"Nice to meet you," I murmured, feeling shell-shocked. After thinking of the dreaded Mrs. Robinson for so long, I was disappointed in our meeting. I thought it'd begin with passive aggressive comments and escalate with me calling out how she'd hurt Christian before ending in a dramatic exit.

This was anticlimactic.

"Girls, I'll let you two get to work on your color, but definitely some mimosa's before you leave," Elena winked at Grace and Mia with such charming ease that neither of them thought a thing about going. They had no idea they were leaving me with the fabled villain my inner hero had been preparing to battle since learning of her.

"Come on, Anabelle. Let's get you a chair," Elena motioned for me to follow her and took off at an impressive rate in those shoes.

"It's Anastasia," I corrected.

"Right, Clairasia."

"Anastasia," I repeated with more force as I took the seat she pointed to.

"That's what I said," Elena shrugged, digging her fingers into my hair, and I let out an involuntary whine as her fake nails got caught in the root. All the while, she just made a disapproving expression.

"Don't worry, Sweetie. We can work miracles here. Even on your dull color," Elena dropped my hair on the top of my head, and I felt a chill run down my spine as I caught her gaze in the mirror. Locking in on me, she grinned, "We really don't need to act, you know. I'm quite sure he's told you much about me, and I know much about you."

I could feel the anger prickling up in my chest, threatening to pour out, but I held onto it as best I could. Even though I thought the woman was despicable and sick, I didn't want an enemy, particularly one so close to his family-and to Christian himself.

"It'd be nice if we could be friends," I suggested timidly, and Elena stared at me with an impassive expression that made chills run down my spine.

"Oh, look at you, so cute," Elena squeezed my cheeks as if I was a child, leaving red marks as she pulled away, "It's almost like a little girl playing house, you know?"

"Excuse me?" my spine straightened, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"You're acting so important. It's rather comical," Elena placed a hand on my shoulder for reassurance, but I squirmed as her nails dug into my shoulder, "Like a little peace maker, but the peace you should be making is with yourself, not me."

"I need to make peace with myself?" I repeated incredulously, the fury continuing to mount.

"Well, maybe a reality check is more fitting," Elena's smile was so cool that, if I hadn't heard her, I would have thought she was paying a complement, and surely that was Grace thought as she watched us out of ear's reach. "It has to be hard. You think you're so special when you're not. I mean, you see yourself as the mother of his child, the one he had a family with when really," Elena shrugged, "you were just too incompetent to finish your pack of birth control."

Oh my God.

My jaw dropped in horror. How dare she!

"It must be hard for you, too," I gave her the bitchiest version of a supporting smile I could muster, "You have such an ego. Honestly, I don't know anything about you. Pedophiles are hardly what I'd consider pillow talk."

Elena's nails dug into the leather on either side of my shoulders, "Such a big word for such a meek little thing. Don't make me ask you to apologize."

"Like you made a fifteen year old apologize," my voice was dripped in disgust, "Perhaps you're more comfortable with statutory rape. Or Grace could be the tie breaker on which term is best. Thirteen years until you come after my son, right?"

"You think he loves you, don't you?" she chuckled, "Oh, Anastasia. You don't even know him. You only know his dick, and even at that, you're substandard. Do you really think he enjoys it? Think he wants to spend the rest of his life with missionary sex after putting the kids to bed?"

I was determined not to let her under my skin, but she struck a nerve. Of course, he was happy… Wasn't he?

"Christian is infatuated now, but not with you. Surely, you can understand that, as the first girl to say no to him, there is this sort of bounty over your head. He has to prove himself to you. Maybe that'll leave you happy for a few years, even pop out another kid or two. But it will never last. His interest will fade. His eyes will wander. And when the red room is opened again, do you think you'll be the one inside?" her expression was one of pity as she motioned towards her receptionist, "Look at Nina. That's what he'll want. A sub, and you will never be that. You can never understand our lifestyle."

I could have killer her. I wanted to kill her. How could she say that? Every snide comment, every cruel insult, and every instinct to pull out her flawless hair gnawed inside of me, begging to be unleashed. I could give her hell, and she deserved every bit of it.

"It's always sad, isn't it? Seeing an older woman so desperate for a man who's fucking someone much, much younger," I raised an eyebrow, leveling with her, "Christian is your man who got away, but right now, he's a bit busy," I tugged a bit at my neckline, exposing one of the many marks he'd left, "Now get your plastic nails and spray tan as far away as possible before my Mother's Intuition pushes me to tell Grace everything, Mrs. Robinson."

"I'd have never imagined you a worthy adversary, Miss Steele. You should have stayed in Atlanta. Or Savannah. Or your daddy's house," she smirked in my ear, and my face paled, "Someone had to tell him to not go looking for you. Don't underestimate me."

She knew. She knew about me and Theodore. She'd kept him from looking. I'd spent all those years thinking he didn't care or that he knew and wanted to make no effort for us, and she'd fucking known. That bitch.

"Hey, girls!"

I nearly jumped out of my chair when I'd heard Grace's voice behind us. Her hair was covered in foils, and her crème clothing was covered by a black cape. And somehow, even then, she looked wonderful, and I envied her blissful, naïve smile

"Going well?" she asked, clearly excited.

"Swimmingly."

OKAY THEN. A LOT JUST HAPPENED. Take the necessary deep breath. You've earned it.

This chapter took a while to create. I'd wrestled with a scene that I loved but just didn't fit, so I ended up saving it and starting from scratch. I didn't intend for the fight between Ana and Elena to be so upfront (or that it'd all be in one POV). I'd planned on it being vague hostility, but it morphed into this. I really wanted Ana to be calm yet strong, and I hope that came across. What do you guys think? Was it too much or not enough? Also, I like sarcastic Anastasia and their more comfortable relationship, but is it too off character?

I really wanted to get this out there, so I am proofreading half-asleep. If you see any glaring issues, please let me know, and I'll try to fix them.

There are a lot of twists and turns ahead, so keep reading!

As always, review, favorite, and follow!

-HAWTgeek