A/N: Thanks for reviewing!!! XD
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L looked over at Light, who was sprawled dramatically next to him on the couch. After the fish incident the day before, the teen hadn't been saying much at all, and normally L would have enjoyed that.
Normally. But, as much as L hated to admit it…this new type of silent bitchiness was depressing him.
"Light-kun."
"Hmm?"
"Speak!"
"…Woof?"
"Good boy," L said, playing along with Light's sarcasm. He reached over and ruffled Light's hair.
Silence.
Light sat up and shifted so he was facing L. "Since when do you tell me to speak? I thought you were pissed off about the fish murder."
"I am angry about Light-kun's violent fish butchery. But the pouting needs to stop."
More silence.
"Well, I'll talk more, then. Hmmm…I'm bored again. I'm bored, Ryuuzaki. Booo-"
"What does Light-kun like to do?" L asked testily. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten him speaking again.
"I like to…dance and eat and…read…and-"
L let his head fall back and he exhaled slowly. "Something we could do together, Light-kun," he clarified.
"Well, I said dancing!" Light fired back. "You're so condescending!"
"I will not dance!"
"That's because you're a pill!"
"Light-kun! L solves international murder plots! L stops gang activity! L brings criminals like Kira to justice! L does not dance!"
Light stared at L, bewildered at the sudden speech that came from the detective. Then he crossed his arms.
"Well, I didn't ask you to, panda puff!"
There was a tense quiet after that, in which Light eventually thought of something they could do.
"I like bike riding."
L thrust a hand into his hair and closed his eyes. "Light-kun," he said, "L does not bike."
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A few hours later, the pair were dropped off at the nearby park with two bikes, two helmets, some extra gear for L, and a first aid kit.
L watched dejectedly as Watari drove off, and he turned back around to see Light putting on his pink and white helmet.
"I hope that my sacrifice will appease Light-kun," L said, as he bent down to pick up his own helmet. "My bicycling experience is embarrassingly limited."
"Take the chain off," Light demanded, holding out his arm expectantly.
"Do not order me around!" L snapped, taking the handcuffs off nevertheless. "I trust Light-kun to stay in my sight and to not go swooping off into the distance without me."
"I don't swoop! I'm not a bat!"
With that, Light ripped off his button-up sweatpants to reveal some very small (and very close-fitting) baby blue athletic shorts.
"What are those?!" L exclaimed, eyes bugging out. His helmet slipped out of his hands.
"My shorts. Didn't you see me put them on?" Light answered haughtily, turning around and giving his behind a swift slap. "Look at this. Do you see this? This perfect ass is the result of-"
"I saw it when Light-kun was swimming!" L choked out, and he picked his helmet back up. "Please do not parade it in front of my face!"
Light ignored L and fidgeted with his helmet. "Do we have to wear these?" he whined.
"Yes."
The brown-haired boy watched as L put on all of his gear: a helmet, gloves, knee pads, and elbow pads.
"It seems my head is too large for this helmet, Light-kun. We'll have to call this off-"
"You have it on backwards, genius!"
Light stepped forward and put L's helmet on the right way, smirking as little tufts of black hair stuck out of the openings in the top of it. He snapped the strap closed under L's chin without looking.
Bad idea.
"Aah! Light-kun! My skin! My skin is caught! Undo it! It hurts! Undo it!" L yelled, and his eyes watered as Light hurriedly unsnapped the helmet. A little spot of blood formed on the underside of L's chin.
"You're bleeding!" Light cried, and he turned around and covered his mouth, hunching over. "Cover it up! Cover it up!"
"It hurts!" L dropped to his knees and dug around in the first aid kit.
The two attracted some attention from fellow park visitors, and people moved away from them warily.
"Sanitize it!"
"I'm trying to!"
"Germs are going to get all over it!"
"Help me find a band aid!"
"I can't look at blood!"
L eventually found his band aid among the various heavy-duty pain relievers and splints, and he put it on his chin quickly.
"Did you do it?"
"I did it. Turn around. Light-kun is completely undependable when in a life-threatening emergency situation!" L said. He took a deep breath and carefully snapped his helmet strap closed.
"…Can we go now?" Light asked breathlessly, looking a little pale.
"Yes. But I must confess something to Light-kun first."
"What?"
"I have only been on a bicycle once."
"…"
"Light-kun will stop doing his fish impression and help me!"
"Okay."
The teen got onto his own bike and looked over at L. "Sit."
"I am not a dog." L sat on his bike.
"Yes you are. Now push off with your leg." Light pushed off and circled around L slowly.
"No I'm not…This isn't too difficult," L muttered, getting his balance relatively quickly.
"Just don't get too cocky about it," Light warned, heading off down the path.
"Wait, Light-kun!"
"Daaaaisy, Daaaaisy! Give-u meee youuur answerrr duuu. I'm half-u crrazy…hmhmhmhm…"
"Light-kun is leaving me!"
"…It-u won't be a sty-u-lish marriage…"
"Light-kun! We are approaching a rather intimidating hill!"
"…I can't-a afford a carriag-u…"
"Light Bright! Where are the breaks?!"
"…on-u a bicycle built-a for twooooo!"
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"
Light jumped as he saw a blur go flying by him on his right. "Ryuuzaki?!"
"Liiiiiiiight-kuuuuun! Fifteeeeen perceeeeen-"
Crash.
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"Ryuuzaki, is your knee any better?"
L glared at Light.
"I'm sorry! For the twentieth time, I really am sorry! Here…"
Light contained his nausea and peered closely at L's gauze-covered knee. The knee pad had gotten ripped off when L had crashed into the tree, and now his skin was bleeding through the sterile wrappings.
"I have to change them," L grumbled.
"I'll get it." Light changed the wrappings gently, and the worried look on his face was almost enough to make L lose his sour expression.
"Light-kun's loud singing caused me to injure myself!"
"I thought you had control over the bike!"
L sighed and pushed Light away once the other male was done with the wrappings. "I called Watari."
"Oh. We're leaving, then?"
"No. He is bringing us something that will make this expedition easier and less painful on me."
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A tandem bicycle.
"Good idea, Ryuuzaki!"
L nodded and dismissed Watari. "Light-kun will be on the front of the bicycle."
Light perched himself on the seat and turned around, waiting for L. The detective limped over and got on behind him.
"Pedal on three! One, two, three!"
They were off.
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"These shorts are really riding up my ass, Ryuuzaki! Could we stop for a second?"
"No! We have established a momentum!"
"But it's annoying!"
"It's Light-kun's own fault the he wears such ridiculous, provocative clothing!"
"…Provocative?"
"Yes!"
"Who do they provoke?"
"Everyone! Now shut up!"
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"…My milkushaku brings all za boys to za bar…"
"…Eru…is-a for za way youuu look-u at-a mee…" L grit his teeth at that.
"…Myyy heart-u wiruuu go ooooon…"
"…My humps-u, my hum-"
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"Is Light-kun usually kind to animals?"
"Yes!"
"Does Light-kun like teddy bears?"
"Yes."
"What is Light-kun's favorite color?"
"Blue. Hence my shorts."
"What is Light-kun's favorite instrument?"
"The harp. Why-"
"Does Light-kun find towers or beach balls more visually appealing?"
"Tow- Wait, what?"
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"Have you ever kissed anyone?"
"Yes."
"I'm surprised. What is your favorite game?"
"Chess. Care to play sometime?"
"Prepare to lose. Favorite animal, panda puff?"
"I've never lost a game. I like porcupines."
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Eventually, they ran out of topics of conversation and they rode in a comfortable silence. They were going along, the sun was shining, the wind was blowing in their faces…
"Hey!"
L frowned and glanced behind him.
"Hey, look at those two!"
We're being harassed! L thought angrily. He looked at the oblivious Light in front of him and gripped his handles more tightly. Light-kun will be essentially useless if we are physically provoked. .. They had better shut up.
"Look at the one with those shorts on!" Laughter.
That's pushing it.
L stopped the bike.
Light blinked behind him. "Ryuuzaki?"
"Just a minute, Light-kun. I'll be right back."
L looked around him and saw that the aggressors were seated behind a tree. They were three males about Light's age.
"Uh-oh, guys, looks like we've got trouble!" one of them drawled as L limped over to them, taking off one of his gloves on the way.
Light, clueless as to why L suddenly disappeared behind a tree, reached into his pocket and pulled out some gum. He began smacking on it, and he abruptly heard some noises.
"I'm sorry!"
"Ow! Ow, please stop! Please!"
"Hey, man! Hey, you don't gottammmmph-"
He must know them or something, Light mused, and he concentrated on blowing a bubble. Stupid gum!
"Oh, God! Stop!"
"We didn't mean it!"
"Stop! Mmmmph! Mmmph!"
This is the cheap gum! I can't believe I got this worthless stuff! And it's not even sugar-free. I can feel the sugar digging into my teeth! I guess I can give it to Ryuuzaki…
"I give up!"
"We're sorry!"
"Mmmmph!"
Light spat the gum out as L walked out from behind the tree.
"Did you see someone you knew, Ryuuzaki?"
L nodded and got back on the bike. "Light-kun, let's head back."
"Okay."
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Later on, Light went on another cleaning spree and began sorting through all of L's bike gear. He looked up at L from where he was kneeling on the floor.
"Ryuuzaki?"
"Hmm?" L said through a mouthful of cake.
"You're missing a glove. Do you know where it is?"
"It's…ah, hard to say, Light-kun."
"You're so forgetful."
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A/N: …L is very overprotective. Can you blame him? (-- For the record, he shoved it in the guy's mouth.) XD
More crack for you guys. Mrrh.
What the hell is Light singing this time?
- Daisy Bell (A Bicycle Built For Two)
- Milkshake, by Kelis
- L.O.V.E., by Nat King Cole XD
- My Heart Will Go On, by Celine Dion (ugh)
- My Humps, by the Black Eyed Peas
Note: Yes, I purposely pick annoying songs to get stuck in your heads! Nyah.
---Yeah, I know tandem bikes don't break like that. Oh well. --
Please review!!! Or L will come after you with his bike glove!
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